hakuna matata

church insights today

i can't imagine how i didn't understand it, but today at church i got some insights which were quite startling! but before that... one more coincidence to add to the food-happiness of yesterday (although this one isn't food-related). so for some reason this morning i was thinking about who was going to be at church and realized i hadn't seen ih ming in a while (and he also owes me $ for lisa's bday present, haha). and then when we got to church he was there! like, wow. what are the odds, since he travels 2-3 times a month.

so during opening worship i was reminded of dewen's email on his bible class on hearing God's voice. and it kind of linked to how last year sicheng was saying he kept seeing palindromes around and thought that was God's way of telling him He was around.. and then i suddenly had this revelation that this series of three coincidences (or whatever you want to call them - my thinking about certain things and having them happen) was God's way of speaking to me. for now, at least. kind of reminded me of summer too... the humour @ bluepulse + the 1st time i got to hangout w ser after a looong time as a response to how i was thinking about the relative lack of laughter after rgs when reading my diaries.

i was telling lisa about the food thing, and how i was (obviously) very happy with my newfound delicacies, and she said, "God knows how to make you happy" and I was like hmm it is kind of sad that now food makes me happy, i'm quite sure it wasn't THAT important before i met jackie (yes, i blame you. i would NEVER have waxed lyrical about honey butter before spending time with you..)

one other thing: last night i was totally freaking out about how many job apps i have to do this week, plus the markstrat simulation which drove me nuts since friday, but we made our decisions today so just have to write the 1pg paper which i sent a draft out already, so it's up to the other two to edit now.. and fitting exercise in and God-time (although recently i came up with this ingenious idea of listening to sermon podcasts while elliptical-ing, only tried it once though) and case-interview-prac and doing hw/making sure my grades are still good.

anyway, the pastor was talking about mark's journey today and asked us "what is the purpose? what is your calling?" and i had another blinding revelation that school and grades are so small and insignificant if i look at my life from the bigger picture. or from the view of eternity. but not even that, it was/is like an entire universe and this is just one little speck.. even so, it's hard for me to let go of that i guess. still wanna do well and everything. brand names are still alluring. oh, the woes of being raised in singapore and going through an elite education system.

and i've just spent 20mins writing this when i really should've been struggling over econ and philosophy -wry look-. i should be glad that econ is interdisciplinary but i didn't sign up for this when i decided to take this class! -_- psht. philosophy is so incomprehensible sometimes, makes me think of how sean said it required lots of weed. haha.