wow. i'm free. it hasn't really set in fully but i'm so glad i don't have to come back and hit the books anymore. for a few months haha:D but chem s wasn't fantastic lar. i shouldn't have spent so much time vacillating about which qn to do and end up leaving so many marks blank. sigh. and i should have done organic 1st instead of panicking at physical cos mind wasn't v clear to start with. hope everyth goes fine tho *prays v hard*
anyway had a few interesting discussions with eunice today while walking around trying to find mom's present. [unsuccessfully i might add]. like how sometimes u don't know if things u remember are just the snapshots that u took, or that u really remember wat u saw there in ur mind. i don't really know how to explain it. and sometimes when you have dreams that are so real, u start to wonder.. what is reality anyway? or i do sometimes at any rate.
and i was telling her that i feel so sorry for children today.. it's like all those pre-school nurturing classes and wat not.. and have to cultivate entrepreneurial spirit so they've to start doing stuff and come up with business ideas and all sorts of rubbish.. there's no joy in being a child! where's the fun gone? do children still know how to play? i mean i remember things like my mom letting me go visit my neighbour and play at her house for a while then must come back n do work later.. or going to the cc with my brother n neighbours to play badminton and stuff like tt.. it doesn't seem like pple do tt nowadays. [okay these i really remember, nothing to do with photos] and they're all stuck to computer games and wat not. but again since i don't have a younger sibiling or anything i wouldn't really know wats happening generally but the impression i get is really sad.
anyway. feels good to be free. i can finally sleep without worrying [hopefully] and wake up anytime i like! woohoo!~ i have been forcing myself to sleep less for these past few weeks i think. out of desperation. i really hope it pays off. sometimes i really think wat emilyn said is right: here, mediocrity is a sin.
ok lar shouldn't be so melancholic. ka [new show by cirque du soleil] opens today! woohoo!~ maybe that's a good sign for me:) i shall order their cd. or maybe i should make my bro buy for me haha perhaps shipping within usa is easier. anyway. happiness! for now anyway;)
argh. horrible biotech paper yesterday - i was laughing while thinking of how to explain for 3 marks how one colouring is extracted from a named organism. i think the girl sitting nxt to me frm 3e i think? must have thought i'd gone berserk. anyway i ended up writing something really vague about crushing cochineal beetles so maybe they'll be kind and gimme 2 marks for that? haha. crazy cambridge lar how'd u expect us to know.. maybe if we write something halfway sensible they'll be satisfied.
now for math s. sigh. i can't believe how stupid i was.. not to realise how to do integration by substitution until time was up. and forgetting mr chan's nicely-stapled paper on my stats assignment! crumbs.. tt'd have cost me like 5 marks or sth. this is not a time when one can afford to forget things, given i didn't do that many marks in the 1st place. anyway. i'm just praying i get an m at least.. sigh. shattered dreams. there's only chem s left to dream about. and work for.
so i've 4 more papers. and then i'm finally free! but there's physics to get thru 1st, bio to pull up my so far horrendous papers. aahh. disillusioned. i think i'm going to get constant nightmares about horrible results. which hopefully won't materialise. i'd prefer my results to be a pleasant surprise thanks very much.
but it was nice to see yongjeng today, been ages since i met choir j1s.. tho i kinda pity them for 5 o'clock pracs during holidays heh. but again they've the whole day to slack so why'm i being sympathetic? haha. and can go for supper aft tt somemore. k it's not such a bad deal aft all.
ohh i had this weird dream about choir 2 days back i think. j2s went back to join j1s and then din memorise songs properly so the lyrics all disappeared. it was quite terrible actually. and i thought ms low/mr toh were going to start scolding and then i can't remember wat else happened. and yest's weird dream was connected to the 7o'clock ch8 show. and somehow there were labrador/golden retriever puppies featured haha. sth like quill. very queer.. must be my overstressed mind.