hakuna matata

it's been a week since i posted! a VERY long week, in fact. sigh. partly cos i got hooked on another korean drama. :| haha. it's even older than full house (2004) too. beautiful days (2001)! i didn't even know lee byeong heon was one of the 'big four' as they call the four most popular korean actors. ahh.

anyway. apart from that. wasn't particularly well this week so that was sort of annoying. and i skipped windsurfing today cos 1) it was cold 2) i hadn't gotten a wetsuit yet 3) i decided i was still coughing and needed sleep. but i didn't really succeed in napping. sigh.

misha is right. i am cynical. and it doesn't help that jackie is just as (or even more) cynical as i am. cos i was telling her that i just don't feel anything. like the virginia tech shootings, i know it's a tragic thing to happen and all, but i can't seem to feel anything. i'm just like okay, this senior killed 33 people.
and then sealnet (or just service projects in general). i know they benefit less fortunate people (or i certainly HOPE so, at any rate) but i also don't feel anything. it's like a disconnect between the intellect and the heart.
and the last thing which i told her, about my drawing class. it's a lot of BS (like lit), the way they talk about oh, how the artist uses the lines to create something.. the curves say something... there was this particular picture which i unfortunately couldn't see any art in, it just looked like a mess of scribbles to me and people were making all sorts of things out of it. modern art, as long as you can crap something out, it's art.
so at this point misha was like why're you so cynical? and it reminded me of wat andrew said about geppers being cynical. so i told her, product of singapore. haha.

find your passion. what passion? i'm too lazy to be at stanford. no, let me correct that. i'm too lazy to be part of this world. it's all the protestants' fault (jackie: "damn those protestants!"), for the work ethic. that work is virtuous. i hate working! i think at one point in JC i did enjoy doing homework. and i guess my PWR paper should be fun since it's on cirque du soleil:) but nowadays i really can't be bothered to do my reading and that's just sad.

when the door is closed i feel like i'm in a world of my own. a world where i can do anything. but when the door opens, reality floods in.

anyway no i'm not depressed or anything. i wonder if this is like a cyclical thing. i know everytime we have one of these sealnet meetings i feel quite sian after that. it is, of course, supposed to do some good and help us improve but nobody ever likes these things. at least, i don't.