hakuna matata

a Somebody with a nobody

so I'm subscribed to this weekly study on the names of God (mostly old testament, i think) and i really liked the bold part:

God tells Moses that he has seen the misery of "my people" and states his intention to rescue (nāstal) them and bring them back to Canaan. He concludes, "So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt" (3:10). Now Moses begins to protest. His first objection is that he is a nobody. God's answer to the excuse of being a nobody, is that a Somebody will be with him.

"But Moses said to God, 'Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?'
And God said, 'I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.'" (3:11-12)

afresh

alright, i sat and thought about it and i have resolved to be a better student for my last quarter. and i will also apologize to my mom for being so bratty. God's grace is enough even though I'm so wretched sometimes.

sigh

the one time in a long while my mom decides to call, and she calls to tell me that i need a wake-up call to stop slacking and work harder in my last quarter. cos i told her i just came back from playing cards at joseph's. i guess she's right that that isn't the best use of time, and also it IS true that my undergrad gpa has been dropping since fall quarter and my econ is quite terrible, i think i got Bs for my last two econ classes. i wonder where my work ethic has gone... and it's no good being flippant about it, i really did use to work harder.

anyhow, i guess at that point i was just focused on how pathetic/disappointing it was that the one time my mom decides to call, it's to express disapproval. and then i felt bad that i was giving monosyllabic answers. but it's 2am and i'm tired from the day, plus you've just finished reproaching me, how do you expect me to be able to chat with you cheerfully when you've just made me feel crappy about myself? and now that just sounds so self-centered..

unfortunately, negative things do have to be said by someone else i'd never know. poor mom. has to bear the consequences of scolding me for my own good. a bit like how Jesus had to die for our sins huh.

the beginning of the end

that is totally koped from yx's gchat status, but it is true. i don't know why people always say "you must be glad to be graduating right?" nothing could be further from the truth! ok granted assignments & midterms & finals aren't exactly fun, but really... being able to arrange classes so i don't have class on fridays (if i don't take social dance 2) is quite cool. haha.

it was quite a packed day, involved quite a lot of food after dinner (bad!!!) but i have BAKKWA! i have never been so excited. ok i probably have, but you know... oh wow and i just realized jackie's going to feed me too. MACARON!!! and i forget what the other thing is. i guess it's a good thing i went with dayoung to yoga-pilates and abs&glutes today. yoga-pilates was still ok, surprisingly, cos the last time i went i remember feeling very inept at all the stretching and crunches and what not. so, hopefully i am more fit now! haha. or maybe the aches from snowboarding eclipsed everything else so it didn't matter.

abs & glutes... gosh. oh, i met tomi & christina & jessica (my frosh dormmates!) which was cool, and then we all suffered together. the instructor was seriously crazy, 67 years old and still so lithe and wiry and FIT. as christina was saying "i'm 22 years old and i can't do half the things he's doing!" anyway... after that dayoung & i couldn't walk properly, climbing the stairs is painful, i thought my thighs were going to start spasming with all the squats and other things he made us do. gosh. but if we do go for the rest of the quarter i'm sure we'll be very toned by the end... haha.

alright. i am going to go to social dance tmr... oh i still have to figure out what camera to buy. and i really hope i didn't bring any bed bugs back from puerto rico...

contradictions

my church sends out the electronic version of the weekly bulletin so i got this thing called the christian's checklist. anyhow, i got to this one where it gave the verse 1 Cor 3:18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this world, let him become a fool that he may become wise.
and then it reminded me of other verses with "the first shall be last" and "my power is made perfect in your weakness". and it just occurred to me that i love those contradictions somehow, because they are so unintuitive.