hakuna matata

sigh. it seems i blog only when at the extremes. anyway, this is so sad. everyone thinks i'm hardworking (or so it seems, at first) and i guess i used to be, since i think my grades actually used to be decent. and now they're down the drain! augh. maybe this is motivation for me to start disciplining myself better. :( what have i done to myself?? how puzzling.

i have a couple more hours, a paper to write - it is so unformulated at this point.. i mean i did think about it but the structure is just not coming to me. a case to prepare for, problem sets to do, ... i have to stop thinking it's overwhelming and just DO something. :( procrastination. maybe i need serene here to motivate me. haha. i wonder how that used to work.. she'd finish her problem sets really really early. i was gonna say dayoung does do her work pretty fast too... but still a little different somehow. i always tell myself i'm going to get my stuff done on time. i don't think it normally happens though... and it's already my 3rd year. actually scrap that, i think i was a lot more motivated last time hmm. weird.

yay for good music though. even if it's kind of addictive. O.O

haha this is the 601th post. anyway yay, this shouldn't sound as depressive as the last. and i finally saw shaun after two years (hello shaun! if you happen to read this). i guess he is right though, if you don't see people for a long time you've a lot more things to say. or it could also swing the other way and you'd feel really awkward and have nothing to say. i wonder which happens more often. feels like the latter wouldn't really happen as much but you never know.

yay i finally managed to upload my hongkong photos on facebook. link on the left! thinking about changing my template again but lazy to find a new one.. actually given that i'm so free i shouldn't be, but when i feel like i have to do things i'll procrastinate on them -_- blargh.

oh! so i have a mentor (stanford alum) and then i kept pushing back writing an introductory email to her until tuesday, and then when she replied she said she literally just left singapore. sigh. i could've actually met up with her!! augh. i need to learn from these things. and missing deadlines. blagah.

and on mon/tues night i was clearing out one of my drawers and i found all manner of interesting things.. including this sheet of notepaper where i wrote down a couple of quotes. so i think this was in apr 04, and my dad said to me, "nobody will care if you don't do well in your SATs/can't get into a good university. the choir's not going to come together and sing you a song." i think at that point the issue was that i was spending too much time doing choir stuff. i guess they (parents) just weren't used to me actually spending time on CCAs, given that automation was so slack.