i'm so frustrated/moody and i don't think blogging this is going to help but i'm blogging anyway. haha that sounds so silly. i sort of think it comes with having just one week left here. i don't know what to do, what to buy, augh! don't know what's the matter. it's so hard to have a family meal at all and even then it'll be a hassle deciding where to go, how much food is enough or not. right that sounds even dumber but whatever..
just need to snap out of it... maybe i need to hang out in my bro's room and hear him talk some nonsense:)
yay for staying at home. although sometimes i don't get tired enough and can't fall asleep immediately. but then last night i was so tired but still took sometime to sleep. oh well. soco books! it is time to launch a desperate campaign.
anyway, yesterday was pretty fun despite all the walking/standing i was subjected to. haha. went back to rg w ser cos she was giving a talk on mit (to rg girls! !! the mit alum guy is super onz man.. apparently he wants more girls to apply). we were standing outside the staffroom (actually, HOD room) and the list of phone numbers thing was at the staffroom so i was like aiyah call her hp la. so serene, after complaining, fished out her phone (and decided to take a photo of me, now that i think of it) and then called her.. i just happened to be twirling around and then saw ms tan walking out of the staffroom! haha. how fun.
the only problem being that the first thing she said upon seeing me was that i'd gained weight. -sigh- oh well. but no way am i going to subject myself to the way serene's losing weight. it is SO painful to eat with her. here is what happened when i went to her house for lunch:
clar starts eating normal food (packet rice n stuff)
ser examines the nutrition facts on the yoghurt in front of her and nods in satisfaction, "okay, 215 (or something) calories.. plus 90 (from a quakers bar). good."
and today.. "clar.. i'm still hungry (she had a 135cal yoghurt for lunch).. let's go eat" <-- vaguely reminiscent of sec sch/JC days actually.
so we went down to the canteent. in which she ate two more yoghurts and some snacks and still felt hungry (i kept telling her "u ran 10km! i'm sure u can afford to eat some carbs") but felt guilty cos of the snacks and decided she'd only have veges for dinner.
so, i think one ought to enjoy eating (to an extent, i've obviously been overenjoying:p) but this is quite a sad state. but i suppose there's satisfaction to be had in losing weight from restricting wat you eat.
anyway, enough about dieting. ms tan's hilarious.. she kept calling her two sec 3 classes "stupid".. i felt so sorry for them. but apparently they're really quite bad, esp given that they're gep classes. kinda sad cases hm. and then she was giving ser relationship advice.. haha chris n ting, she thinks u guys are very steady and sensible pple, dun need to worry about u:)
yeah it was nice seeing everyone again.. pity we didn't catch ms hoo and poor chen lao shi broke her arm! hm. maybe i should go visit her or something huh. but i doubt i can carry on a decent conversation in chinese:| oh dear. and ms yeo and mrs lee-lim chyn, both of whom thought i was very familiar but i think they forgot my name. ms yeo was regaling me with tales of how ms tan (as head of research) strikes fear into the heart of any teacher cos she's v fierce when pple ask her silly questions about the research study stuff. haha.
oh and teoch and ms ning teach the same "stupid" classes (teoch is the form tcher for one of the classes), but i think they were trying to tone down ms tan's criticisms haha.
i finally got to see the inside of rg staffrooms/hod rooms! haha. after.. 4 years after graduating. wow it has been that long huh. yeah the sec 4s have black nametags too.. sigh.
somehow i ended up waiting for silly ser to finish her talk (which took twice the time!!) and ms tan said she really gave us face cos she never has time to talk to poor puee, and she also intended to go home at 2 today (in the end she ended up going back at like 5 or something oops:|). oh ya so she decided ser should go talk to deborah tan as a polite gesture and she herself didn't wanna see dtan cos she hadn't prepared some presentation so she scurried off and took me with her.. hahaha.
anyway. i think it was almost 6 when ser finished buying her stuff n went home. so i went to buy stationery from popular (yay for jap-brand stationery heh) then i was trying to figure out where optic point was but gave up, met jh n yf n went to borders where they didn't have my books! bah. amazon rocks. and then went to kino cos jh was looking for some fantasy book or other.
& tu n her fren phong were late! grr. it was so funny though, almost didn't see them walking past us in wisma. this is so random, i suddenly feel like seeing lyd again. i think i was thinking about how its different hanging out with stanford pple vs non. i guess the former group reminds me that i have another life back there. how interesting.
james came later. and shihua & weisiang the latest! hehe me n shihua were extolling the comfort of pedalworks shoes:) even though now i think i should've gotten a not-so-high pair, sigh. oh well. live and learn.
when we walked tu back to her hotel she realized her phone was missing! augh. poor thing. i hope she finds it, but then i kinda doubt that's gonna happen too. sigh. but anyway so after that jh was squawking about wanting to take a cab whereas i was adamant about not doing so cos it wasn't that late and i don't take cabs when i don't absolutely have to. and yf didn't want to either, i forgot why. so we were walking towards the 171 bus stop and having this little argument until i gave up and was like fine, take cab. in which we discovered there's a long line at raffles city for cabs! and it's kind hard to flag along busy roads.
to top it off, both jh's n yf's buses came (respectively, in order) before we decided to walk back to the hotel and get a cab there. haha somehow going home with those two is always so ridiculous.. the last time they were being wishy washy about which bus stop to go to and how to get to it.. anyhow we finally got a cab:) i still wonder if it was any faster actually haha but oh well.
and oh! my brother's so silly. so after i got home and bathed and my dad finished using the computer.. i got online and then my bro IMed me and asked "u back ah? gg out tomorrow?" and as you can imagine i had the wat's-wrong-with-you look on my face and i walked over and opened the door and gave him a withering look. haha. i was in the living room and he was in his room (with the door closed) but really!
sigh. axess opened for enrollment and as usual i don't know what to do! kinda detracts from my reading my soco books. of course i'm just finding a convenient excuse, but still. and i need to buy stuff. but i'm out of that buying mode... i don't know why i'm more in a shopping mood when i'm working. how interesting.
yesterday met hwying n selene at holland v.. i really haven't kept in touch with them much in jc, i realized. actually i was quite distanced frm sec sch pple in jc, now that i think about it. i guess i was quite involved in choir after all, haha. and now i hardly even talk to them.. kinda pathetic. but i guess those of them who were closer probably do.
but anyway, so when i come back the people i meet are my sec 4 classmates mostly. and fiona n candice. haha. i guess this sort of thing does make you realize who's important to you.
then after then went to whampoa to make cushion covers.. really random. and parents dropped me off at glass house, stanford gathering! sort of. haha. tracy (asian american) was here for holiday so wang ning organized a dinner.. she's so tall la! i think she's taller than joon.. -shakes head- ridiculous! haha. anyway it was nice meeting her.. and the twins n daryl n cs. silly jon was/is in msia. but anyway it was so weird though, for a moment it was kind of like being back in stanford again. i guess cos of the things we talk about. but then the twins aren't coming till nxt year, kind of a pity.
and the karaoke-ing at night reminded me of thailand. which is, sadly, the one and only other time i've gone. haha. tracy knows a crazy lot of chinese songs! i decided i need to go find more songs/learn more lyrics.
today went to this toastmaster's club meeting thing upon yz's invitation. oh yeah yesterday i was telling the twins about it and they heard "ghostbusters" or something, i couldn't stop laughing. anyway toastmasters is this public speaking practice-making-speeches thing, pretty interesting. i'm sure it's very helpful too.. but i can't join the stanford one cos it meets on wednesdays. unless chi alpha changes its meeting time, which i doubt.
so since ser was telling me tonight she wished she were like me with an unbroken heart, something suddenly came to mind. somehow with a lot of pple i've met up with, a sizeable part of the conversation was devoted to relationships (or gossip, whichever u want to see it as). i forgot who said it, but i guess it kind of goes with age. i think it was pam. but anyway, so after we graduate it'll be who's getting married/who's working where.. then who has kids.. and then after that talking about the kids..
ah. it's time to sleep. i need to make better use of my time at home.
yay for cuteoverload.com (and to my phe for introducing me to the website:))