hakuna matata

metallica

so now i'm somewhat confused as to whether they're heavy metal or rock, but whichever it is, i don't really like it very much. but after watching almost 2 hours worth of the documentary (which i have to analyze for my organizational behavior class midterm), i think i actually appreciate the music somewhat (horror of horrors). i mean, they are pretty skillful, despite the fact that it is SO loud and they're always cursing. electric guitars are kinda cool. i think i still have about 20mins more to watch... the power of familiarity. it's kind of the same for highway (my current church) too, i didn't use to like the music very much but now i think i've kinda gotten used to it. although i still miss campbell's acappella sometimes.

anyhow, it was really quite amusing when i (very surprisingly) recognized one of metallica's songs while watching the video. like what are the odds right, since i really don't like that sort of music. (jackie: quick listen to smooth jazz to soothe your frazzled soul!) and then i decided to google the rock band songs (since that's the first thing that the video reminded me of) and i realized it's enter sandman i.e. dewen's & pearline's fav song to play on rock band... haha. it is really a challenge to watch 2+hrs worth of music i don't really like though, i must say.

it also doesn't help that this video is kinda about how dysfunctional the group is, so there's lots of conflict and such. being a very peace-leaving person, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. i guess i would do a lot to avoid conflict if i can.. anyhow. yes, so the combination of not-my-fav-music + dysfunctional group dynamics = bad.

which suddenly reminded me of how i think recruiting is so bad for the soul. i guess anything competitive is, really, in a sense. my roommate was saying that she's not used to failure, and after putting in so much effort into preparing for interviews and not being able to do well in them, it feels crappy. and it does, i've been through it twice. after you're past it it doesn't really matter anymore, but while you're still in that place, it feels terrible. and somewhat determinant of self-worth, which is a really bad idea but happens anyway... maybe that's called character-building, haha.

this weekend i'll be freeeee! as a bird! i feel like i ought to go do something exciting but don't know what that is. maybe i should go go-karting with akpsi... hm. but i don't really feel like it either. and next week's freeee too! but i've to figure out my job. ugh. i really hope i have an offer by the time i graduate so i can go home for summer and see everyone... pray hard.

random bible study note

so i'm doing this study called 'how God called his servants' which my pastor gave us.. and i was reading the front part of Ezekiel and somehow it just struck me as to what weird creatures people saw in their visions.

Ezekiel1:10 Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a man, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle.

like, seriously? creatures with 4 sided faces? that sounds kinda far-fetched man. those old testament prophets definitely saw some weird things. but anyhow. guess it goes to show how we've been so socialized to what's normal. it's like in sophie's world (jostein gaarder) where they give the example of how kids come into the world without much idea of what's supposed to be normal.. e.g. if they looked up and suddenly saw mom flying around the room, they wouldn't be very surprised but dad would probably freak out. cos dad has been in the world long enough to know that people mostly stay on the ground... kinda interesting. oh philosophy.