on a saturday night, when i know i should be doing work but don't feel like it, this is what i end up doing. haha. am so confused. maybe not confused. more like my head is so full of things i wish i could be like dumbledore and use a pensieve. it would definitely make things easier, that's wat magic is for. haha.
still wondering if i fit into this pledge thing. everyone else seems to be so creative and etc and i'm just like ooh that sounds great, however did you come up with that. maybe i'm meant to learn though. hopefully. i also feel like i'm not doing enough, which means i'm going to be getting into trouble during midcourts. hmm. better go do some video-editing or something i guess. if i can get the films to begin with.
nowadays i'm so lazy to write a proper diary. get annoyed with my slow writing. isn't that sad.. ooh adium has nice backgrounds! i like adium:) hehe
heh. i was doing this career assessment tool kit just now as part of the pledge process. and there were these questions like "what would you go out and do if you knew you would not fail?" and i was writing things like "join cirque du soleil". haha. i really hope my hpac (i.e. the master of rituals, i/c of our pledge process) isn't going to look at my folder, i was writing the most fantastic things. oh.. and another page with "if you had 5 lives, what would you do with your time?" i'm still wondering why one would need 5 lives, but i only filled up two. one of which was "work (play) with dolphins" and another was "create movies of silly animals" (the animation sort). okay i guess those were the only two crazy pages, but well.
anyway, so one of the actives was telling us it's a little hard to be conservative and be in the frat cos they have this image they want to maintain, sort of. the cool yet competent image. and they aren't sure if they can see us in that position. cos a lot of us are conservative (or so says our pledge class president). i guess i should really get to know the rest better. anyway so formal's coming up and apparentlly we will have to dance. not something i particularly look forward to, given that i hate going to parties in the first place, as jackie can no doubt tell you. somehow i do see a difference btwn social dance n party dancing. and then apparently the formal ticket is like $40 - when i saw the email my eyes nearly bugged out of my head, i can assure you. so our MOR was ilke yeah, that gives you incentive to raise more funds. frankly, i don't even know what they're raising funds for, why would people want to pay for our pledge process? maybe that's what business is though. ponders. but i suppose if you provide people with valuable services they would pay for it. hmm.
so obviously now we're even more in need of funds, and this junior transfer suggested going to a casino and gambling to get the $$. i'm like !! i mean people did suggest going to do psych/GSB experiments to get more funds, which is definitely more legitimate. i guess they see it as a good and fun way of getting $$. cos a few of them are avid gamblers, sort of. man.. i really don't know. if i want to back out i should probably do so before paying pledge fees haha. but like i told ser, i thought i was over that when i resolved to start this. anyhow i'm glad i got to talk to ser. hehe you know somehow when we first met in sec 1 i never envisioned such a future. very interesting.