so i can't remember why but i was thinking about how everything, every sort of organized group with a hierarchy is just a large scale version of any student group aka cca.. ah. i think i know why. cos today i was sitting in a meeting and the deputy secretary (DS) was pretty much the president.. and etc. and then my church too.. there're the leaders.. and then those who're involved in planning stuff but not in the leadership, and then the rest of us.
i think i sound incoherent. but i shall try to make some sense. so when i was in choir comm, i realized how the committee members are definitely most engaged and it's always a problem to try and get the rest of the members to be as engaged. and how that plays out in church too, and now in the ministry when the larger problem is the people ie the rest of spore. so it's like just a larger and larger scale. which reminded me of (blimey! my computer screen just went back to the normal colour, hallelujah. okay i shouldn't use words like that in vain.) okay which reminded me of some econ thing i learnt last quarter. to do with sub-game perfect nash equilibrium. and it doesn't even relate that much.. ah nevermind.. too hard to illustrate here.
i'm glad my sneezing fit has subsided. that was kind of painful. time for bed.
i don't know how to curry favour with my now-supervisor (since mine has left to go on holiday augh) when he doesn't even seem like he wants to talk to me! bleah. and the other guy i work with is pretty much as new as i am (okay he's been there for a couple of months, but still) even though he's so much easier to talk to cos he just graduated. okay maybe that doesn't necessarily go together but you know, less of an age diff i guess.
oh today morning's phone conversation was hilarious though, thanks to jh n james for giving me a fun start to the day. first they were scolding me for being late. then they were instigating me to pon work and go for leng's talk and workshop at SMU. anyway, it was still rather amusing. unfortunately when i got to work a lot of things started going wrong.. sigh.
1. I reached the lift at 9:10am. and then the lift doors opened and out walked my boss and the other guy i work with
2. I got into office and you could hear a pin drop. Why? Cos I forgot that there was this event thingy today which started off with breakfast at 8:30 and a talk-thingy in the auditorium at 9:00. so, of course, i was rather late.
at least after that wasn't so bad. until i fell into my half-asleep state on the bus and got off on the wrong bus stop and decided to walk home (2 bus stops). when i decide to do things like that i should make sure i'm in running gear man.. oh well. got home in one piece at least.
so i'm finally getting down to typing out the SEALNet stuff, since jh has accused me of being unreliable (in getting work done on time). and it's such a curious feeling. like reliving those two weeks. sometimes i still question my own motivations. did i really feel that there was meaning in doing the stuff that we did or did i just take it as a holiday with new friends to be made? hm.
anyway, stanford talk at rj today.. was kind of disappointing somehow. i guess cos i remember the fun yale (ervin yeo! ahaha) talk and generally how q&a was pretty fun.. we didn't leave that much time for questions and then no one was really asking at first either so.. dunno la. and i didn't get to see mr chan! grumbles. i shall have to msg him sometime and figure out when to go back and say hello. although it's such a long walk, i'm not even sure it's worth it. haha.
on another note i think i would want to go back to rg.. at least that's the building i studied in. the building does make a difference. like you walk around and think about stuff that you did there. i think one of my "biggest" wishes is to see the inside of the RG staffroom though, i was just thinking about it and i know i always regarded it with great reverence, wondering wat lay behind.
sigh, i don't think i'm being a very good intern. really. the days when i left early to do talks (i.e. today for rj and last wed for vj) i may as well have NOT gone to work, spent the mornings doing up the presentation.. and then if not i'll get super bored and i'll msn a lot. so so bad. esp cos i have just a month, which is good cos its not too long, but i should really not slack so much. but my reasoning is also that there's a limit to how much i can read/think about with regard to prisons and rehab. sigh.
wow i didn't realize experiences was so tiring. after like 10 mins of talking i realized wat a long day it was going to be. but i'm so thankful that the sophomores came.. if not we'd be seriously overworked i think. or actually i guess just less pple get to ask questions or something.. hm.
my goodness.. i'm so last minute it's terrible.. wat kind of president am i being.. augh. rj presentation is driving me nuts. looks like i won't be doing work at work tomorrow again.. augh.