yay i finished one final! i thought it was slightly disastrous though. it was kinda funny actually cos i was sitting behind this girl i know from class and she was just writing pages and pages and pages! whereas i had enough stuff to fill three pages and that was it. granted, her handwriting was bigger. but still... anyway, so after the exam she was like oh i wrote the outline at like 2:30pm today (the final was at 7pm). me: -gape-. haha.
anyway this whole thing about jobs and blah is getting to me again. why why why does this scenario have to repeat itself... didn't i already go through this last year. why is it so difficult? yeah i'm just whining. and then i also realized i'm not really leading stuff this year. just cos i don't want to. why do i have to do things cos i think other people want to see it on my resume? or at least that's what it feels like. i feel like i have to lead something to put on my resume. but then i also don't want to be leading this year anyhow. and i've already done the latter so i suppose the former didn't actually matter that much. -shrug- weird moods.
i really want to believe Jer 29:11-14. which is incidentally from a rather interesting source... but when there's nothing in sight and just a bunch of worries it's so hard! anyhow here's the verse:
11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
it's such a beautiful promise. but i have to admit i am lacking faith at this point. for a bit. not that i'm doing anything about it on my own either. aiyah. so messed up!