hmm i wonder if i have too many things going on this weekend. there's lunch in a bit, then concert at night. and jane's coming over. and tmr there's church. and dinner at prof's hse/sas bbq. and my econ is in a mess n there's a midterm nxt week. and i also have introsem midterm nxt week. it also doesn't help that i don't think my econ problem sets have been done very well. and it's going to be week 5! crap.
anyway i just suddenly felt like going to disneyland. haha. sigh.
heh i just realised something. people are telling me college isn't all about studying, and my mom last night was telling me u better make sure you do your work.. didn't come to college to play. i guess she's afraid i'll spend all my time doing things other than work.
when the work piles up it's when you miss home. i wonder if it's because pple told me that, or i just happened to feel it. at night, when i'm in my bed reading ihum stuff and then i suddenly think of places at home. i don't know if that counts as missing home. which brings me to another point. last time, when pple (relatives/church) asked me if i missed my bro, i'd usually say no and then feel guilty. maybe i adapt too well in that sense heh. i know i just got used to not having him around quite quickly.
and my dormmates just went off to late night. amazing.. i wouldn't walk all the way there to eat at night unless i'm like really energetic/hungry.. usually i just bear with the hunger (if any) or eat snacks. oh well.
anyway today was a better day.. although last night i fell asleep and got up to find that it was 5.30 and my roommate was working on her ihum paper.. so i tried to read baldwin for ihum. but after 10 pgs i was like, forget it, i'm too sleepy to make any sense out of the book. decided i could go back to sleep and get up at like 8plus and still have time to finish reading.
so i got up. and didn't, after all, have time to read. so ended up reading it during breakfast and lunch and finally finished it at like 1pm b4 i had to go for math and then ihum. and i had things to say during ihum today! yay! haha. this is so silly. maybe it's cos i complained to more pple and they're like, you're sporean, sure can crap. but i think hk's suggestion of discussing the book b4hand is gd too. if i do get round to it.
the econ-math thingy was quite interesting. although i reaally really really have to go read the textbook.. sigh. midterm tmr and two nxt week. ah well at least there's concert on sat, should be gd!
i forgot to say something. it was kinda weird at lunch on sunday. cos everyone else there besides daryl was a grad student (or co-term) and they know pretty much the same people and all that.. suddenly was feeling young (as compared to feeling old cos i'm in college) but anyway the food was fantastic:p not as gd as yumcha (i'm probably biased though) but still
okay back to math. i really must go shopping. clothes-wise and snacks-wise. friday! we've to find somewhere to go though.
okay after that momentary lapse into abject misery/pessimism, i am now feeling better. at least, i have just thought about how it'll be interesting to go home during winter break and see things differently. and then i realised there are so many things here that i wouldn't get to experience at home. it isn't so bad after all. i guess music and mr white bear helped too. but besides that it's still really easy to push things aside (i.e. remain in denial) and go on with life. kinda related to church yesterday actually.
i'm in such a terrible mood today.. i can't imagine why. maybe it was my roommate talking to someone on the phone at 6.30am, and the someone couldn't hear her so she kept repeating herself, which totally drove me NUTS. i was ready to get up and clobber her. okay i wasn't, but well. that was annoying enough. ah. apparently it's her ex-boyfriend whom she was talking to. and she assures me that as much as it annoys me, it annoys her to have to hold the conversation too. at least that's cleared up.
econ lect was okay i think.
got annoyed during ihum cos wolff was going on in all sorts of tangents and still talking about tolstoy when we're reading baldwin now. apparently he's supposed to link them, but somehow i find his lectures are so unstructured it's really irritating. and the problem with yearley is that he does say interesting things and he structures his stuff nicely, but he says it in such a boring voice that you fall asleep anyway. ugh.
so i had lunch w jackie (who's sick). misery loves company. so we sat around and complained together. she's still halfway through telling me about my imaginary boyfriend.. i bet ser would be amused at this.
math lect. i still get confused about stuff sometimes, and i was falling asleep at the end of it.
ihum section. i am in such trouble for ihum cos i can never think of things to say. i also neglected to finish reading the last 7 pages but i don't suppose that's such a big deal. i kind of wish the TF would say more instead of just letting all the others talk. or maybe that's not what ihum is supposed to be. but it doesn't really seem like i'm learning very much about the text. i mean, fine, people are sharing their intepretations about the thing but i would assume the TF knows more background stuff or watever.. i don't know what i'm talking about as usual.
last night i didn't finish what i planned to do, and i just couldn't be bothered to do it this morning cos i was in a bad mood, therefore now i have a lot of stuff to do. including reading for tmr, math problem set due tmr which i'm partway through.
i think jackie is right. it's about juggling the things one has to do (i.e. work) and the things one wants to do (everything else). not that it was/would be any different in spore.
it's depressing thinking about school/work/... today i didn't want to get up and go to school (i haven't felt that way about school since somewhere in the middle of the term for j2, but i have felt that way about going to work so that wasn't very long ago) esp when doing tolstoy in ihum, talking about how one should live life. life isn't exactly very fun at the moment, nor do i envision it to be when it's time to go out to work. so much for optimism.. just an off-day i guess.
i should really get back to math.