hakuna matata

a hard week

[written on sat] i have to admit yesterday was quite a bad day for me, if not for the church bunch (haha, that's what i call them now) who were celebrating pearline's bday by cooking (yay good food!), playing rockband, playing with barney's & peiying's dogs (yay animals/dogs in particular) and playing cranium (general silliness all around). it is really hard to trust God in such times (slew of rejections on Thurs/Fri). well, just 3 out of 5. and the longer i wait for the others, the less likely it is that I have an offer, I think.

[written on tues] still finding it hard to trust. i think i am so overwrought i can't sleep past 9am anymore, it's quite terrible. really goes in cycles, for a while i'm carefree and then it comes back to haunt me. !!! bleah. it's so silly too, me worrying about whether they're going to give me offers is not going to change anything. -_- God has blessed me with such an incredible experience at Stanford even though i know there's nothing special really that set me apart from the tons of other Singaporeans who applied here, so I should know that He will always provide for me.

and dayoung's so funny, yesterday morning she finally got a call fr mck and so could finally commit to signing w parthenon and she said she felt SO happy like she hadn't felt this quarter at all, going after her want to work in NY and feeling like it was forced and what not. but i'm so glad she's relaxed now, that's how senior year's supposed to be!

on another note, i remember sean/kevin saying that decision analysis was kinda interesting but some people think it's bs. I certainly think i fall into the latter category... or maybe cos i'm not even taking the class seriously. haha. but honestly, i don't see myself assigning probabilities and preferences and drawing trees and sensitivity analyses and using value of clairvoyance and what not.

although, granted, colin did give me an interesting argument for the existence of God. assign a probability p that there is a God. so let's say that p is pretty small, and so 1 - p is big. and then from that, think of all the good things that happened to you and assign a probability q1 to the possibility of them all happening by chance. it's probably not going to be very high, and when you multiply that by 1 - p, it'll probably be smaller than p*q2 (where q2 is p(good things happen with a God)). although, i need to think about the converse side with bad things happening...

incredibly blessed

wow. so far, my track record is still nice and pretty, all invitations for final rounds! God is amazing. well, not like I didn't know that already. now... i just need the offers. haha. i feel so greedy... i guess i do only need one offer though getting a bunch would be really cool. i'm not sure what would be best either. anyhow... waiting is so hard! bleah. it's like a perpetual game, who's gotten a call, who hasn't.

anyway, this week is crazy. i had two first rounds today (total 3 interviews), final rounds tmr (4 interviews), final rounds thurs (4 interviews, i assume) and final rounds fri (4 interviews). that is almost as many cases as i practiced for BEFORE starting any interviews. i am so cased-out right now. it's not that the problems aren't interesting, but it's just tiring. ah well, by the end of this week i will be such an interviewing machine. and hopefully have offers so i can stop interviewing! eek. and actually catch up on my classes and all.

midterm tmr, pray hard! aaah.