you know the feeling of desperation? well as long as i remember i don't think i've felt it as much as during college. or maybe it's just this quarter cos CS is so unpredictable - if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and you can't BS your way thru making it work (unlike psets or papers).
alright at least this problem set isn't so bad. but i really should've prepped for case interviews earlier.. when am i going to stop procrastinating?! and i couldn't finish my pset yesterday in time.. and i don't know what i'm gonna do about my two midterms next week. ahhh. alright, today's a huge problem first.
oh and i'm so thankful for jackie, she's so sweet. heh. so last night i was going to take a nap and then get up and code (which of course didn't happen), so she covered me wth her flurry blanket n set my alarm for me. aww.
when i saw how happy chun-kai was when his lil bro got an offer from gs taiwan, i think i can imagine how my brother reacted when i got into stanford. it was so cute, chunky was like so proud and telling pple how he n jon n some other guy prepped him like crazy for the interviews.. heh. but again chunky's always v funny and animated.
but yeah, just something that stuck with me tonight and it just made me think of my bro and how he spent so much time helping me with my apps and all. and how his friends knew about his lil sis getting here and how i heard it from them. aww.
anyway i'm feeling much better, which is good. i don't really know about tomorrow though, will just try my best and have faith that God will do the rest. was really kind of hard to have faith yesterday/today but life goes on. and it was really nice to talk to Cat, fellow-sufferers-in-kind with recruiting being so draining.
Labels: another type of brotherhood, brothers, happier
i am so so tired. i think over the past week i haven't had more than 6 hrs sleep/night, average was probably 5 or so. and then sat night i couldn't really sleep either, combination of nerves and unfamiliarity. and i was missing home, weirdly. also on the flight back, i guess cos usually when i'm on a plane i get to go home. haha.
and last night i thought i was finally hopefully going to get 8 hrs but that didn't work out either cos my head was still swimming (from what, i don't know) and then halfway i suddenly knew wat was going on around me and i could hear jackie's canto >.< poor girl though, it must've been frustrating to not be able to record it properly. i was like ?? why the hell is she repeating it so many times!
blah. i don't feel like going for more interviews. it's like being perpetually stressed and i can't just heck care either cos that'd just make it worse. aughhh. okay actually i guess i'm just tired.. i was glad i'd get to go boston and see ser but am definitely not looking forward to plane flights. traveling is super tiring. not to mention boring if you're on american airlines >.<
where are people when i need them.. i need to take a nap. and i also can't help feeling i'm going to feel really silly about all this when it's all over. haiyah. but wat to do!