hakuna matata

this is so weird. i'm hearing lots of strange music coming from somewhere towards the north-east of campus (my dorm is east-campus) but i'm too lazy to go check it out. anyway, there was this flute-like-sounding tune for a bit, and after reading chim's reply to my email wrt chicago, i just have this image of a peaceful temple-like retreat place (you know, the kind you see in movies) with nice soothing music (yes, featuring a flute of some sort). i guess it's like some meditative place or something. long for peace.

anyhow weather's getting better and so i'm happy! the only problem is i think i slacked off too much last week so this weekend is going to be hell (and yes, i'm still here blogging). a paper due monday which is 20% of my grade, another program due wed. ahh.

the latter conversation transpired between me & CS 10mins ago.

CS: The latter's Chris' Outrageous Chocolate Cake combines brownie, pie, and cheesecake into 1,380-calorie pudding.
CS: Cheesecake Factory
CS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6399267.stm

me: WOAH
me: they're going to kill pple with that man

CS: yeah

me: i wonder if it's new
me: probably not right

CS: no
CS: but gives you an idea

me: augh
me: i ate a choc cake today cos i was stressed
me: haha

CS: ok
CS: a whole cake???

me: no la
me: whole cake i die already you know

and i just had a hysterical laughing fit, which apparently rather alarmed jackie. and i was like well, i wasn't too sure if i could've stopped, but it's been a long time since i laughed that much.


more quotes from jackie:

context: she passed him some of her perishables (namely, roti prata & her 7-layer caramel cake) and her air-con to store over winter break.
"of all the things i gave john, the only thing he can't keep is the air-conditioner."

jackie informs me that my hysterical laughter was quite disturbing.
me: but you did that to me once!
jackie: yes, but i went and promptly got into bed

jackie tries to persuade me to go take a nap.
me, resisting strenuously, then conceding: i think i will. i can't think anymore.
jackie, visibly VERY relieved: THANK GOD.

random note: went for mentoring dinner (finally! this is the 7th week!) and had honey walnut prawns!! well i've had better elsewhere but since i haven't eaten them in a long time i was quite happy:) and then my fortune in the fortune cookie was hilarious (it also rather reminded me of retreat): "you are very expressive and positive in words, act and feeling." both of which are so, so not me. unless you think otherwise, in which case do let me know cos i'd be rather curious.

anyway yes, after a disastrous midterm/hangman-program-due/pset due week, i came out of my econ classes with an epiphany. well, it's sort of a blurry epiphany since i'm not sure yet. but i may change my major. i mean, i really did not like macroecon last quarter (might be the fault of the teacher, might be that i didn't really understand stuff and therefore am now somewhat averse to it, maybe i just am not interested in learning about the fed/...)

but this quarter i feel like walking out of my econ classes 1 hr into lecture (they're 1h50). int'l econ i don't always feel like walking out, usually it's pretty intense so not much time to look at the clock and stuff. but it's a little hard to grasp too i guess, and he goes somewhat fast. but econometrics.. really.. i don't know. and my econ major right now is a finance track, but i really don't know if i'd like learning about those either. -_- i guess i'll have to do huge-time shopping next quarter. my bro suggested just taking one econ class and really exploring the rest of my options.

i also didn't realize how worried my family was about my state. so-called. cos my mom called, and my brother called, and ... i never really thought sophomore slump was a real concept but i guess maybe it is true.. when you really start wondering about what the heck you're doing (or actually, i should be using 'i' instead of 'you', as leng&hung would say). in life, in school, in whatever.

i know a couple of my fellow sealnet-ers are thinking about that, and one of dayoung's friends took the quarter off. i think she had a little bit of a self-esteem problem.. apparently she kept saying she doesn't know why she's at stanford, ... i didn't really believe it when people said everyone feels the same way 'how did i get in?' but i think i do now. and it's kind of like we don't realize what it is that makes us unique, and it takes other people to tell us sometimes. (at least, so i found out at the retreat when leng&hung were asking us to listen to each other and tell each other what we valued about the other person etc).

haha suddenly that sounded rather upbeat. oh well. david (the guy who gives me a ride to church normally) is at san diego so today i went w lisa & bertram & adelene. [daryl overslept! tsk]. anyway it was nice seeing all the stanford pple, but i think i prefer my own church. i guess familiarity does do something for you. and familiarity with songs. i feel like i can't really worship properly if i don't know the songs cos i'm trying to catch the tune, the words, and it just doesn't work. maybe that's why i felt weird at chi alpha last year.. although i know i should be able to worship anyway but it's tough.

anyway we had lunch at adelene's house and it was yummy! she cooked a mee siam-ish dish, very good. and she had pineapple tarts! just what i was craving! yay!! blessed:) haha. i have decided bengawan solo tarts are pretty good. although i really liked the de cooking house one (the shop's at far east square near chinatown!).

okay i really need to code yahtzee. it's kind of a fun game.. and i'm glad i don't have any other psets to do so i can really work on it. yay! and CNY dinner later should be awesome too:) oh and it was so nice to see megan yesterday, and the talisman concert was awesome, christina ho (freshman at chi alpha) has an amazing voice!