gah hate going airport ;(
but i guess i'll have to learn how to sooner or later..
oh wells
but at least this time i didn't like start weeping or something.. *grimace*
but it was almost as bad. as usual. really pathetic.
...
and that silly bao.. i could have sent her off! *growls* but nooo she mistook her flight timing and told us 1am instead of 10am
*sighsighsigh* but china's a whole lot nearer than canada..
but it doesn't matter how far, it matters that they aren't here.. i'll miss them and miss them and miss them..
this blog thingy is quite useful actually :)
aaaaaah
just back from piano exam
i am so dead
i don't even know if i can pass
*big groan* die already..
grumble grumble grumble
first of all my playing wasn't that great
missed notes, blah blah blah.
and then the quick study wasn't so gd either.. missed notes too, wrong notes, etc
and then viva voce
aaacck. b4 everything the woman looked v happy, ...
then while 'interrogating' me, she didn't look so happy
and i made the stupidest mistakes of my life. like calling a time signature a key signature
gah and then i didn't even noe whether 6-4 was compound duple or triple. crap lah. soo pathetic..
ask me things i'm not sure.. so i was crapping out.. crap also she didn't look v convinced
esp when the things i'm not sure = abt bach.. which is her speciality.. and she plays for the queen and her students play for the queen too!
die die die.. hope i can pass
groan
i never want to go through that again.. so freakyfying.. ;(
aaaaaah.
my piano exam's tomorrow! *freaks out*
what if i can't play properly (esp. my bach cos the female examiner's a bach specialist!!!) what if i can't sightread properly what if i can't answer their questions properly
gah. pre-exam jitters.
aaaaaah.
and at this point in time, no one can help me. unless they can somehow assure me that i definitely will do fine tmr and pass well and watever other crap.
and i'm in no mood to do my h/w.. which includes like 6 n 1/2 jian3 bao4s and learning e maths... groan. all that i will have to do thursday (tmr) after 4:15pm. sighs
hmm just back from the last piano lesson i'll have, unless i fail. which i certainly hope not.
its quite sad isn't it..
kinda like wat she said.. *bittersweet*
sometimes she can be nice, sometimes she can be horrible..
sometimes i'm really glad i did my diploma, sometimes i'm not
it all really depends on what's happening at the moment
i don't know if i want to do LRSM. probably not actually. she doesn't seem all that keen on me continuing.
not that i should make my decision based on that. and she doesn't think i'm very interested in music. though i've improved since when i first went into the studio. i have enough trouble and stress and depression from doing dipabrsm.. hmm. i really don't know what to do. i never do know what to do, though. *sigh*
2 years in that studio really educated me though..
it was very interesting, very amusing and all.
but something i failed to grasp is that life goes on. and you can't hold on to anything for long.
which i can't accept very well. and i can't bear to let go. so i end up a mess. as usual.
sigh. somehow all the entries here are usually depressing. which is what this blog is for actually.. but not that nice for people to read i guess.
sometimes i think i'm in desperate need of a counsellor..
gah my pore eyes are so aching.. and its not like i din take a nice nap in the evening.. thinking i can work better at times like now which is.. 12.11am.. in which actually i do work better at night *or rather, unearthly hours of the day* like 12am 1am blah blah blah
but somehow i can't seem to take it
ah wells. nvm at least on thursday i can wake up at watever time i like :) but probably will be scared stiff tinking abt piano diploma exam in a few hours time.. *grimace* and believe it or not, i have to mug for that too. amazing huh..
the amount of homework which we have now (and tests) and u still have to mug for things like piano..*laffs*
tumdeedum
i think the teaching sec 1s physics thingy is really crap..
we sec 3s can't even consolidate our own knowledge and they expect us to teach sec 1s.. i'm betting the sec 1s will end up failing their test.. *groan* esp given the way ms tan marks.. it would be a miracle if any of those under our charge pass..
after seeing the look on ms tan's face when jiahui and huichu were demo-ing and explaining *haha* she looked ready to kill.. run after us brandishing a parang or something. *grin*
honestly i think prama, yap and blin can rival for "most boring teacher in the world".. its amazing the way they teach..
*shiver* just came back from young musician's society.
sooo cold inside.. and hafta stay there and play for one hour..
freezing..
i shall get a blanket and wrap myself round and round and round until i can't move.. like a mummy
laffs
anyway.. *gah* i wish my mom hadn't videotaped me.. its soo embarrassing to watch urself play
and then some parts sounded so terrible
but i guess i've improved a lot stylistically since last time.. :)