you know it's time to sleep when:
1. you somehow manage to open two browsers of the same visa application form, fill in both while feeling a vague sense of deja vu, and not realise that you filled in the form twice until you've printed one form out.
of course, that might be also due to the fact that you've been filling in wrong things and having to redo the forms tons of times.
2. you fill up the 'city' field for your university as "Singapore", and again vaguely wonder why "Stanford University, Singapore" looks weird
i think my grandma has gone mad, she just asked me to play the piano so that her big sweep tickets will win. it was most alarming. she pointed at the numbers of two of her three tickets, and instructed me to play the piano so those two tickets would win. and there I was, very bemused, wondering what songs she expected me to play to coordinate with her ticket numbers. for a moment a crazy thought came to me, maybe I was supposed to match opus numbers with the numbers. erps.
somehow, what lydia said that day when I asked her why she thought I needed a blessed church camp comes back to me. "coz if u're anything like me, the past 6 months must have been hell". my reply was that it kind of slips off, I tend to forget most things after sleeping. not exactly forget, but the impact is lessened. and I really don't want to go through all that again.. how feasible is it anyway?
and my brother scolded me last night for not starting to find a job.
so this is how it's going to be.
so many things I'd like to say but are better left unsaid.
will I live up to expectations? how can I when I'm so directionless?
haha.. this is so funny.. came home from midweek service and found a dog at the lift.. it was actually quite scary, huge eyes and rather thin with black floppy ears.. mom's conjecture was that it was our neighbour's dog so she called "gypsy!" and it wagged its tail somemore and looked at up her.. didn't know if it was our neighbour's dog or if it was a stray.. i mean, if it had been a stray i wouldn't want to be touching it, nor would i want it to come anywhere near me.
so rang the neighbour's doorbell, neighbour opened the door and said oops! she didn't realise the dog escaped outside.. must have run out when they came back from swimming. most hilarious.. can misplace a dog and not realise. so my bro said, maybe cos the dog does its own thing (haha sounds like randy jackson) in the house quietly so they don't know when it's in the house or not.
haha darn, i was just going to say if anyone doesn't know what to get me for bday present i want a josh groban cd but now i realise i won't even be here for my bday. how depressing.
hmm. i had the queerest dream.. i think i must watched too many action movies lately. i vaguely remember escaping from somewhere or other and this nifty little vehicle that could fly. okay there's no use describing it, i realise. it's an image in my mind. it's really cute and small and can take off and stop quite fast.
and i can't decide whether i should get a laptop or not! since i'm going to get a desktop. nyam.
oh i finally went back to sch to get cert today.. heh raphael n shaun haven't gotten their certs yet. anyway, so coincidental, met mr chan ty and sara ho. pleasant surprises!
hmm mr and mrs smith was quite cool haha. but ending is anticlimatic. i like the way angelina jolie's more pro than brad pitt.. girl power! 312 pple vs 50/60 pple; "are u ready?" "yeah" she yanks the driving wheel, the car swerves, he goes off balance n she does all the shooting. and when he's trying to get the hostage to talk and she uses the phone to hit him n he talks straight away. haha. very action-packed. in fact, mainly action. with a plot like having 2 assasins who're in fact a couple, it's rather to be expected. but anyway it was quite fun/funny:)
journeys are good for thinking/sleeping. even though they're vastly different activities.
my favourite part of carly fiorina's commencement address to North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University this year:
"Never sell your soul - because no one can ever pay you back.What I mean by not selling your soul is don't be someone you're not, don't be less than you are, don't give up what you believe, because whatever the consequences that may seem scary or bad -- whatever the consequences of staying true to yourself are -- they are much better than the consequences of selling your soul.
What you are today is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God."
actually i like her whole speech, saw it on xuwen's blog, but it's actually on the businessweek online website too.
anyway, although the selling your soul part sounds super idealistic (that's probably why it appeals to me haha) maybe it is idealism that earns satisfaction.
wow was really so tired last night. but it felt good! at least i can sleep in peace. from 11.30pm to 9.30am haha and then i fell asleep again from 11am to 1pm . clar has returned to being the queen of sleep. yeahh.. haha. oops.
oh and serene said my reading taste is very british. i.e. i read all the british authors' books while she reads american. i guess that's kind of true. i like brit humour! haha. like oscar wilde.
i think i had more to say but it's slipped my mind. hmm. another time then
a walk down memory lane. went ghim moh w mom n bro to eat lunch today.. drove past old rj. it broke my heart to see "NUS High School" there. okay i'm being melodramatic but i wish rj was still there. remembered all the trips to school in the car, worrying about whether i could remember my stuff for prelims/a's, the saturdays i had to drag myself out of bed to go for choir, the saturday afternoons we walked to ghim moh for lunch (and i'll terrorise poor candice by walking nxt to the drain so she'd keep worrying i'll fall in and try to drag me away but i'll obstinately walk even closer to the edge of the drain just to annoy her:p), the food at ghim moh, and then choir pracs, ...
okay i don't know why these reminiscences revolve around choir so much, i guess it made a very big part of jc life for me. guess it's the same for everyone who spent so much time with their cca-mates. and it reminds me of how my parents thought i needed to spend more time studying and not going for choir/joining choir wasn't a good choice. but i'm glad i joined anyway:) i think there is something in what ting said about how one would tend to regret things one didn't do more than those one did. but even then there probably was a purpose for choosing not to do the things one didn't do.