so i met up with candice and fiona today.. so good to see them! and it was easy to talk to them. cos it's like sometimes with other people it's awkward and have to think pretty hard to find stuff to talk about. actually that happens really quite a bit more often then i'd like it to. i'd also like to believe that's cos i'm always meeting new people but that's probably not the case.
really depends on my mindset at the moment i guess. whether i'm in the 'ooh we must meet people today and it's fun!' or 'aw man this is going to be such a chore' mode. anyway.. yeah. i guess it also helped that they're good frens so they can like bounce off each other. if that makes sense. and candice when you read my blog you ought to tag so i can 'talk' to you since you're never online! -sulks-
oh and church was kind of interesting. i've never really felt like part of my church, which is quite tragic. i also like to blame my parents for that but if i'd had my priorities right when i was younger i guess it wouldn't be such an issue. dunno la. i miss chi alpha though. and campbell. so i think i ought to go for thanksgiving service tomorrow but i don't feel like it cos i know i'm going to feel so awkward. yup. that's me. awkward.
okay this is starting to sound slightly depressive. it shouldn't! happy new year! haha. i am so lazy. need to find something better to do with my time. i keep pushing everything to next week (well, this week, already) telling myself i don't want to think about school stuff while it's 2006. procrastinate. ahhh.
yay it was good meeting pam today:) she got me wondering though. whether pri gep was really that influential. i mean i did really like chinese then, we had so many fun games and chinese was really cool:) and a lot of my closer friends now were fr pri gep but maybe that was just a self-perpetuating sort of thing.. we'd already been through 3 years so in sec sch it was pretty normal, just a continuation?
anyway. and she was saying she's not very good at a group friendship sort of thing.. and i totally agree for me too. prefer one-on-one. although sometimes i wonder if pple get bored. but yeah.. the group friendship thing. is kind of like draw groups hanging out.
alright hopefully i'll be back in the shopping mode next week cos i do need to buy stuff. and i hope the sales last oh dear. ahh. anyway tomorrow is stay-at-home day, will potter about and just enjoy being home:)
i think i may be overdependent on the internet. no actually it's just because i was trying to get on the sms website last night. i think. anyway.. so i was rather annoyed yesterday when the taiwan earthquake rendered our internet quite slow and useless! therefore i went to bed. okay la i was tired too.. long day.
haha i always laugh so much when i'm out with rachel. even though at first it's a bit awkward cos i haven't seen her in so long (same with everyone else i guess) after that i always end up laughing really hard cos we're so ridiculous:D yay squishy squid 2! oh i forgot to bug you to do your credit card application.. let me msg you now. haha i can't believe you stored my number under 'squishy squid'! -sulks- and we forgot to take a photo:( nevermind i'll come to TLL and disturb u n christine sometime.
and it was such a pity that we couldn't watch night at the museum at vivocity! but that place is ridiculously crowded.. -_- oh well. lyd's laugh is so happy, i wish i could bottle it up and bring it with me wherever i go. well i would bottle up lyd but since that's not very possible, the laugh goes just as well:)
it was nice to see chris (on tues night now) after so long. need to hang out another time! i can't believe it's been a year. i think i need to be better at calling up people to keep in touch.. new year resolutions:) the only thing being that now the sch year and calendar year don't coincide so it's really weird. new sch year or new calendar year resolution? guess i can have both.
some things are just very confusing. i suppose i think too much cos i'm too free. haha. and now i don't really feel like shopping! shopping overload from hongkong. oh it was so interesting, when it started raining last night 心雨 by jay chou came into my mind. kind of apt huh? even though i guess the 心雨 isn't really literal.
oh yingheng's story about his tuition kid and learning new words was hilarious.. so they're supposed to write down words they don't know and find out the meaning (to expand their vocab). and one day one of the kids came up with this four-letter word which means a small rock with mould on it. and i couldn't stop laughing because for crying out loud, why in the world would you ever use that word so why would you write it down? but it was hilarious:)
yayy i'm home! finally. i think a week in hongkong was too long. or maybe cos i was longing to come back. i like familiarity. and having my stuff around (i.e. so i'm not really completely happy cos i'd prefer having my own computer:p) but it's still good!
anyway i really went crazy with the photo taking and video taking, i didn't think i was going to use the whole 1gb memory card for my camera, but right now its at like 900mb 0_0 the power of expanding watever you call it. umm. expanding to fill whatever you have (or in this case, expanding to use the entire memory card:p)
but i don't know if i'm going to transfer stuff out cos firstly i'm supposed to install the driver. we'll see.
it's really good to be with my family again though. i wonder what the europe pple are doing now though heh. ie cs jon bertram etc. and what serene is up to. maybe i should use trillian instead hm.
and i can't sms properly anymore!:( my US cell phone keys are so much easier to press than my sg cell:( haha i'm sure i'll regain it with practice:p oh well.
oh and i'm now in love with bo luo baos:) yumyumyum. they are SO good. especially if the dough is good.. sigh! can't believe i didn't discover them earlier. maybe daryl will go crazy over them too haha. as compared to egg tarts, which are really good too!
alright. i don't know if i'm still up for more shopping.. hongkong shopping was, as dawn said, pretty stressful cos there're so many choices!! augh. and it is so hard to find xmas presents. i totally agree with this column in monday's straits times about how it's so forced to have to find presents for xmas. like if i don't see stuff that i think they'll like it's kind of hard to force a present! maybe i'm just making excuses though.
kk. maybe i'll go take a nap.
ahh. i guess i'm calmer today. thank you god. i believe he will be with me and help me through this crazy crazy time. and yay for colin who was pretty calming. and for jon (who albeit went on and on about his crazy courseload last semester while i'm like okay.. i'm kind of half-resigned to my fate and want to sleep soon_ but he was still pretty encouraging). i guess reading shaowei's blog about drawing closer to god in times of trouble is kinda true.
and of cos for dearest jackie.. i was like 'wat do you do when you're totally freaking out?' and she made me close my eyes and described a 'happy place' for me, which was hilarious (stress-reliever yeahh:) because it started off with a forest (i just knew that was gonna be it!) and then i would've been pretty satisfied with a forest and cute cuddly animals but she went on with descriptions of money (and dulce de leche cheesecake) growing on trees and cities with goodness knows what else, i don't remember.. and the crowning glory of 'hot men' - at this point i was like okay, i think i was quite happy with the cute animals.
so.. i'm gonna rock this final! (and the next, and the next, and the next.) there. that covers all four.
but anyway.. the real point of my doing a quick blog (study break, haha - philosophy drains my mental faculties). it was kinda hilarious really, jackie went to sleep after i got up.. well done girl. yesterday she got up at ~6pm and i'm like. you do know you completely missed daylight? and she was like well actually i saw some of it before i went to bed. ... haha.
alright to the point! a package came for her (while i was figuring out the mysteries of life, no less. rofl) and i was just thinking i never really knew the joy of receiving packages until coming here! it is so fun.. like little presents. i mean, even if it's just online shopping.. when the stuff comes (like my camera :D yay) it's just great!
anyway. couple more hours and i'll be done with philo woohoo!
woahh. that just completely blew my mind.. i definitely did not know my bro's very good fren's now at goldman.. anyway. i really need to stop procrastinating so much. and i have also decided (after various mishaps) that i work better with a paper planner (as compared to electronic calendars) so i'm going shopping for one during the holidays! whee~
(typed that a couple of days back but never posted it)
this is today:
AUGHHH damn stressed. okay actually this is really my fault for not doing my studying earlier but yeah. still stressing out anyway. so i just whined at poor chuansheng. haha. so for philo at least i've looked at all the stuff (i am SO so SO thankful for the study grp if not i would never have gotten anything done) but thinking of objections and counter objections and reconstructing arguments all take time, of which i have a severe lack of.
bio should be fine i think. but econ 52 is going to take me a substantial amount of time given that i haven't read some of the chapters and i need to prep for the essay stuff. and econ 102a i really need to prac, of which that requires time TOO. help help help. it also does not help that i'm reading about stress stuff for bio (or i just finished doing that). at this point praying also does not help me very much, i'm just panicking too much at this point.
wow. god is really great. i can't remember at the moment who else's testimony i heard.. but it's just stories like that which remind me how in power he is. and the power of prayer. okay that probably didn't come out sounding too right since i'm not particularly coherent but well.
crazy event of the day: so me n jackie were trying to figure out about going to paris for spring break.. and i was like oh i have the calendar i'll check the dates of spring break. so i came over to my table.. and i picked up my calculator instead of my calendar.
it was quite a classic moment, really. but i must say in defence of myself that usually my calendar and calculator are like next to each other/one's on top of the other so i'm slightly justifed..
i decided to post a pic of my pretty snowboard! here it is:)
it unfortunately looks much worse now. but plus cute traction bits that jon pasted for me! whee~
and all the people i met!
the girls: liana (jr), joon (soph), me
the guys: jon (jr), yongji (frosh), andrew (frosh), zhixiu (jr), yf 
more of the guys: nick (on exchange), ryan (he's really like the uiuc-version-of-daryl haha), dominic (soph), josh (soph)
random pics of my room
forever friends bedspread!
yay forever friends poster from ser!:)
my slightly messy desk
front part is jackie's half
i should really do my work. and it was so tragic, chris decided to nominate me for akpsi secretary and i'm like. oh. oops. i don't have a laptop! but anyway i don't think i could handle an ecomm position this year. hopefully i'll be something next year though. will see what god has in store for me.
simps playdate thing today was kind of awkward.. i don't know why. i thought it would be somewhat like a regular class, just go in and play games. but somehow the connection was missing (like kenneth said). things weren't very funny.. maybe energy not thre? or just awkward cos it was like.. simps vs 103ers. oh well.. reiterate last sentence of last para. if it's meant to be it will happen, i believe. i tried my best.
dead week and it doesn't feel like it at all. or i'm still slacking around.. i don't understand why i need food so much when i'm here. like during thanksgiving i wasn't very hungry or thinking about food all that much. didn't really snack. or maybe cos snacks were so easily at hand it didn't matter that much. but when i'm back in my dorm room.. it's just. food. food. food. ! so bad:(
man today is one crazy day.. but yay! i have my license! which just prompted me to call my mom and say happy bday, thanks to the wonders of the chi alpha calling card. she's so cute, she sent me this encouragement card sort of thing with my airticket home.
so yeah, i wasn't sure if i got my driving test time right.. and then yinnah's car malfunction light came on and i wasn't sure if the driving test pple were going to be okay with that.. and then we had to wait so long for the test. but phew, thanks for God's grace, everything went fine. and i passed! woohoo~ i saw the examiner who failed me last time, thankfully this time it was a guy and he was much nicer.
oh and while waiting for my test jh calls me and says that they decided i'm part of the team for the JPMorgan competition thing and i'm like !! i haven't done anything for it! man. feel kinda bad about it also but it'll be great experience if we get through.. so then i have to think about looking at resumes/personal statements/writing my own.
and the concerto thing was such a fiasco! man. that was seriously one of my worst nightmares. like i knew i wasn't particularly prepared.. but that was just terrible. the tempo was so much faster than i'd expected and my fingers can't move that fast.. lack of practice/skill. i guess i should've just called jon (aow) up earlier and admitted defeat.. but i still thought i could manage it but i practised like mad tonight/tmr. and then after like 50mins i could tell they thought i was hopeless and i also knew it was hopeless.. really thank God that jon was free/can manage it.. actually i was pretty sure he'd be able to, am just so grateful though. cos i already wasted the guy's and his teacher's time.. don't wanna ruin his performance as well. so phew.
anyway, am feeling so much better. yay for being online haha i sound like i'm addicted. oh well. time to do silly econ pset. and it's so freaking cold nowadays!:( i forgot how depressing winter is =sulks=
aaahh. i'm so tired. or at least my eyes are, i think. i don't actually think i got more sleep during thanksgiving break cos the place i was staying at (with junwan & frens, no less) had skylight-ish panels which allow morning sun to shine right into the room and wake me up! so i got up at like 7ish almost all the time. oh well. gotta make up for that soon.. after tonight's black friday shopping heh. and i also need to figure out my driving test:| augh. i wish i'd passed the first time, it would've made my life so much easier!
anyway, had lots of fun in colorado, am very glad i decided to go join joon! yayyy:) her friends are all so nice.. actually jon (goh)somewhat reminds me of sean, i guess its the way they interact with/care about people. and i really wish i had sean's knee pads. haha. arrgh! poor knees. actually poor snowboard, it definitely got chipped by ice/rocks/something. -sob- oh well.
pics on facebook..
http://stanford.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2046548&l=da600&id=213134
okay i don't actually know if the link works but we'll see. maybe i'll dump them in shutterfly when the rest send the other photos along or something.
sigh! 86 emails to plough through and i have to return to reality (i.e. having to think about classes/work/jobs/.... moooo.) laundry calls soon. and practising for this bass trombone concerto accompaniment! man i really hope it turns out fine.. help.
i think the hot tub does help. or at any rate, me n joon n liana were trying to figure out how come we didn't ache as much yesterday.. as compared to the days before. alright. need to get stuff done! its nice to just slack around.. hm.
boohoo. clar is like half sick. i guess i just refuse to admit i'm fully sick. but i'm not! okay, in denial. but anyway i kept hiccuping yesterday cos my throat was dry and everytime i coughed that kinda triggered it. 0_0 . oh well.. at least today should be better.. i wish i was completely well though, how to go snowboarding otherwise?? and i wish we'd booked a later ticket so i can go to the burton sale and get a snowboard. :( . i guess god will provide..
so yesterday's chi alpha worship was quite magical. sicheng was telling esther 'i think we brought back something from that trip!' [they drove 4 hrs to redding over the weekend, i dunno wat was happening at the church but that's interesting]. i still have a tiny suspicion about whether my experience was partly because of my sleep deprived state.. philo paper due yesterday, that is. and bio midterm today and i haven't read anything for econ essay, die!! gotta rush that during lunch or something :|
but wat colin said was good and timely. god will give you exactly what you need. i like the phrasing too. somehow that just reminded me of sean, i wonder why. maybe the big-bro-christian-encouragement thing. which is good. haha man this is like a spillover from my philo paper about "the human good". aahh!
it was so uncanny yesterday cos during improv there was this static scene involving a bicycle, a squirrel and a nut (i.e. the bike was about to run the squirrel over). and then while i was furiously biking (like the wind, no less, as jackie likes to advise me when i'm hard pressed for time/late in handing up stuff which unfortunately happens rather often) to turn in my phil paper, this stupid black squirrel (with a brown nut! augh!) ran directly across my oncoming path!! i was like wth!! wat's ur problem! outraged. haha. i wish i had a picture of that though. i really thought i might've run over the stupid squirrel. :p
sigh i feel so stupid. so jackie's taking a nap and so i was working with just my desk lamp.. and then i turned it off and attempted to make my way to the door to go for dinner. and -taadaa- i tripped over her suitcase or something and hit my head on the fridge corner. very very painful. my first thought was like i want my mommy haha and then after that i got paranoid that this knock has addled my brains. cos i'm doing this bio course on intro to brain and behavior and there're lots of stories about how if certain parts of your brain are damaged then it'll effect some behavioral effect and i was thinking wat if i knocked this part which unblocks all the childhood inhibition thingys and i start behaving like a kid. 0_0.
i hope i'm being paranoid at any rate. and it somewhat reminds me of bertram's story earlier about how some SJI kid got knocked by a shot putt (imagine that! poor guy) and apparently became a genius after that. haha. oh well. thankfully for peling my poor RA who walked to wilbur to get ice for me.
it also doesn't help that i'm not feeling too great.. nose clogging up and swallowing hurts. augh! i will not get sick! more smoothies. yay for jamba juice and late nite.
jekyll pup and hyde pup. i was so amused by this i sent it out to the improv class list (and found out that the list is moderated. !! not like it's that likely that pple will spam the list, but oh well..) cos it reminded me of a warm-up exercise that we do sometimes.
jekyll pup [RAWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!!]
hyde pup [awwww]
it's soooo cute. haha. hasn't failed to cheer me up/amuse me when it's late at night and i'm feeling so battered that it's so easy to let depressing thoughts overcome me. i am definitely more susceptible to feeling awful at night when i'm tired and it's been a long day. talk about rollercoasters.
but i am so thankful for the guys to help out with the sporean stuff though.. why nygh and dhs have to come visit in the same week is a HUGE mystery to me.. it's so tiring. i used to think it'd be fun but once is more than enough.. after rj came last year i had enough already. maybe also cos we did jc visits during summer.
haha this is hilarious, my econ 52 prof (the useless one who doesn't teach anything in class - okay i'm being so mean here, he's not all that bad) writing on how phillips was a crocodile hunter.. and i was commenting that he's probably getting in touch with his australian roots (see the first page of the paper: http://www.jstor.org/view/00130133/di983528/98p0011i/0) and then i skim the other pages and it's like a biography of phillips! i'm like.. hm.. why are they publishing this, i bet he blackmailed them or something haha.
i really come up with the most nonsensical stuff at night when i'm tired i think. last night i was rather pissed off with the whole NYGH tour stuff (they coordinated their trip with some grad student and i had no idea wat was going on and blah blah blah) so i was complaining to poor long-suffering jackie about having to "do my civic duty as a singaporean here" and bring them on a tour.. so just before i fell asleep i was spouting some nonsense about how i should bring a whip and make them stand in line or something like that. must really ask jackie later wat she remembers of my ridiculous suggestions last night..
oh yes. jackie is awake. first it was me being snappy and snapping at them. jackie's examples of things i would snap:
kids "oh.. it's so pretty"
me, snapping "of cos it's pretty! it's stanford!"
kids "where's the library"
me, snapping "they're both libraries! this is stanford! there's more than one library!"
next, because i was complaining about having better things to do rather than doing a tour (i.e. my econ pset, which at this moment i still have not completed) so i don't know how we came out with me making them do a military march to make them hurry up and march around campus so i can hurry up and come back and do my work. (and this is where the whip comes in)
sigh. i am currently so confused about everything. :( but i think it's just been a long (albeit fun-filled) day and i need to sleep.
it's so unbelievably nice to feel free. after those two midterms on tuesday.. i really have not been doing any work. not that it's a good thing (okay it's good to relax for a bit) but it's lots of fun! whee. feel so much better. and improv is amazing, i wasn't feeling very well starting sun afternoon and then i was contemplating asking the teacher to just let me observe the class instead on monday but i decided otherwise (plus i was a bit late:|) and i felt so much better after the class it was ridiculous.. i mean i'd been drinking fruit smoothies/soup/etc to prevent myself from feeling worse and stuff but after class it was just great. gave me the energy to study for my midterms.
and wednesday was so interesting, we weren't allowed to speak for the full 1h50 and had to keep in constant motion.. so the teacher (dan) brought us into the room one by one and there were these periods of time where we were doing something like stomp.. but with clapping and stamping. rhythm beats! quite fun. and then there was a lot of miming (we call it 'space objects')
so this guy was pretending to reel in a huge fish.. and i pretended to be the fish, and after that i apparently was skewered, roasted, cut in half. (all this i couldn't see cos i was on my side pretending to be dead). then later one guy grabbed my legs and another one grabbed my arms and they started swinging me (like when you're going to dunk ppl?) and i was like ooh, this is interesting. and later this other girl was telling me that dan was so horrified when he saw them doing that cos he was afraid i'd get hurt and his eyes opened SO wide and he kept motioning for them to put me down.
anyway. lasertag tonight! ryan and alex dominated again.. those guys are crazy man.. last year they dominated too. haha. lots of fun! whee.
it's been almost a week! man. kind of a busy start of week.. philo paper due monday which was slightly disastrous:| really should've started earlier and such but hopefully i'll learn from that. and the econ 52 pset due tues. i hate having econ psets due tuesday.. there're never any office hours on friday and at earliest they post the problem set wed/thurs.. okay i shouldn't complain and just do my work earlier. ah well.
was kind of annoyed at not having checked last week's econ 102a pset cos i got some silly things wrong! sigh. must prioritize. and last night.. aiyoh. should've checked answers before hanging out and all that. oh well.. hope it'll be alright. anyway so i felt very free after having finished my 102a pset (half of it was done during class, haha.. reminds me of how i'd get influenced by serene and do other work during lectures.. just that now its wang ning who was doing that) so i went wandering around talking to people.
was trying to be a good mentor and went to find my mentees at okada but they were all not around! well like half of them weren't there so i was too lazy to go up to the third floor:p ohwell will just send them an email. then i wandered over to kimball to find yf but he wasn't there so i ended up talking to ian for a bit.. then wenqi and her roommate.. then came back and was talking to jackie for a bit then yf n jh came to look for me to talk about sealnet singapore. well also about thanksgiving cos after i found out from joon that she and her UIUC frens were going colorado we're both tempted to go too.. i need to decide quick quick quick! augh.
anyway so we ended up at yf's room and watched "whose line is it anyway" for a hour or so. some parts were really funny.. like there's this game where one person is having a party and then three people have to play specific roles (assigned beforehand) with some weird characteristic and the host has to guess wat they're playing. so, one of the guys had to pretend to be "an increasingly annoyed french pig looking for truffles" which totally cracked me up.. i think i really love animals. i think trying to act like an animal is hilarious. but i still prefer theatresports i think. dunno. i would say traditional improv, but i don't even know what that is! haha
woww praise god apparently i'm like 3rd highest for bio midterm.. which is pretty amazing given that i hadn't really been reading and stuff, but also thank god for a level bio which ensures that a lot of stuff is there in my brain already.. haha. whee!
ahh i don't know how to do this app. why are internships so hard to get:(
alright, that definitely took me longer than i expected, esp when i should've been writing my philosophy paper. okok i will do it now. the writing tutor was so taken aback yesterday upon discovering i hadn't started yet and it's due monady. oh well. :| i really hate the way i do things sometimes. actually, many times. bleah.
yesterday's natalie macmaster concert was lots of fun! although i don't really know my dormmates so that was a little tough. but anyway she and her band are SO energetic! it's crazy.. they're really good too.
our RFs are really nice, they paid for all our tickets.. aww. i think that's a much better job than last year, i don't think patrick ever did anything for us except friday night movies. and the only time i got emails from him was when like there was some trouble in flomo. but i guess he was the RF for the entire westflo whereas brent and barbara are RFs for just lantana (i think). maybe castano too? hm. anyhow and their dog stogey is sooo cute!! it so reminds me of boxer (my illegal unlicensed labrador-cocker spaniel fr 1992-1997 or something like that, i forget the dates). anyway i also guess it's easier to do stuff when you've a family to support you? or something.
philo paper philo paper! aahh. i guess if i don't finish i won't go for sealnet beach retreat tomorrow. and it'll allow me to do my tutoring too.
i am really going to change my template, but jackie as usual has her very encouraging comments about my stuff.. i'm like watever, i'm gonna do wat i like. but anyway, besides that, i need to get past this crazy week first. actually it isn't all that bad, it's just that having econ pset due on tues afternoon is a HORRIBLE time. well okay, i didn't start on the pset that early but there aren't office hours on fri and he only sent out the qns on thursday.
and today was a mad rush. from lunch to improv class (yay!) to philo class to swc (which kinda forces me to start on my philo paper, thankfully) to leadership workshop to tutor observations. and then i somehow ended up going for bible study (very very late though) even i wasn't really planning on going cos i was so late and i have so much work to do. okay i guess i don't really, but some things are just overwhelming when they're not done and they all come crashing down like a LOAD.
but i'm glad to say while i was at lunch (meeting pledges, wat a weird feeling!) and in improv i could forget all that and enjoy the moment(s). the only highlights of my day, really. oh and seeing nathan at casa was nice.
unfortunately, now i think i've worked myself into a lather (i.e. nervous wreck) trying to finish this stupid econ pset (i had to drop the first one cos i didn't finish in time) and it doesn't help that the TAs are refusing to answer questions specifically about the questions. and also that ahhh! forget it. i shall stop this.
i'm such a bad person. so much work to do and i'm blogging. (and i also spent like 4 hours at chi alpha b/c i was playing keyboard and helping to pack up). anyway.. just had to mini-document my bday celebrations.. heh.
so sunday i went to memchu w the guys instead of my own church cos david (the guy who's giving me a ride) was gonna go for late service and they'd arranged bday lunch for me already. memchu was interesting.. and listening to the choir (and the reverberations in memchu) reminded me of choir italy trip.. also reminded me of why i love(d) singing in a choir. it's so weird to remember something that happened a while ago and all the feelings come back. kind of.
and then it was so funny, cos we met at tresidder for jh and shineik to drive us to my lunch place (some peking duck place recommended by cs) and then when almost everyone arrived (except for the late sheep wangning cs n jeslyn) there was this rather-large circle and then i acutely realized how i was the ONLY girl there. it was actually kind of funny though. like. one girl at her bday lunch and like 10+ other guys. maybe that's why i have more non-sporean girl frens (also since there aren't many sporean girls to begin with). dunno. gd n bad.
it was so sweet though, they got me a cake (with my name! haha) on it and everything. aw. and we took up two tables.. kind of sad though cos didn't get to mix with everyone. oh lisa and isaac (grad students) biked over. n yf was like u're like bai3 jiu3 xi2 like that.. haha.
um. well then skip the rest of the day.. till midnight and then there's a knock on my door and sealnet pple are outside! awww. haha. reminded me of sean and co. last year.. really acutely too. cos it was sort of the same and i was almost expecting to see a crowd of pple i didn't know! which is really really weird cos there's no reason why that would happen this year but yeah. the thai scholars (minus mod, i don't know where that boy goes! he's never with the rest of them) jh yf tu viet gina etc. and ryan n dian came later.. oh and tu got me a cake and strawberries.. so cute. she is so sweet. & jh was like i've seen you 3 times to celebrate ur bday already. haha.
and soo many facebook posts! and emails frm pam n yh aw:) ecards frm peiying n ser.. calls from jane n megan n my ex-roomie.. feel the love!
i guess there isn't anything i really want to talk about.. other than a sudden influx of chinese pop songs is making me happy:) haha. need to do work! and i'm so scared for consulting interview:| and that i'm not doing enough for akpsi. and oh.. i don't know. so many things i don't know if i can cope. so lost in philo, feel like dropping the class but i kinda want to learn the whole logic stuff.. don't like econ 52 (macroecon) and also feel like dropping it (tcher is so weird!). rather sad state of affairs huh. but i went to gym today and i think i got quite a bit of bio read (or maybe that's cos i knew much of it frm a levels, thankfully)
weirdly i'm not as tired as i thought i might be.. maybe i'm still on an adrenaline high or something. but just now i really was quite tired. anyhow. i'm so glad the bbq went so well.. at least i think it did:) and yf & jh said it did. haha. and i'm sure a lot more people just that i can't remember at the moment. it was so surprising to see so many families though.. i'm wondering if they just came to stanford, or if they just decided to come cos of the national day msg emphasis on connecting back to singapore. but maybe i'm being too pessimistic and they came cos we did a good job of publicising. haha. ie daryl's flyer was very memorable:p
and it was so funny.. i guess i kind of suspected that they wanted to do something cos daryl was talking to viet n jh and i dunno who else and wanting me to go up on the balcony to thank pple for coming and stuff. but then after a while then i realized it was something to do with my bday cos they were being rather suspicious about it. so i refused to go up but daryl went up anyway and announced to the entire crowd of like 70+ppl that my bday's on monday.. slightly embarrassing to have the whole crowd singing happy bday to me but definitely memorable. haha.
i also know realize wat it's like to meet a TON of pple and then totally forget their names/faces a moment later cos i've met so many.. and then i feel bad about it too cos i wouldn't like pple to forget my name.. but there's only so much my poor brain can take. but i'm really glad so many pple came.. and organizing it with berkeley was cool. the guys and wenqi were all really sweet though, carrying stuff around and clearing up and getting everything done. am glad we've such a good team:) and the pple who crashed (tu and her roommate misha, daniel, yf's roommate ian, jh's roommate michael) were really nice and helped out with stuff too.. yay!
rush interviews in the morning were interesting. i had no idea wat to ask for the first interview.. and with kisha next to me asking all these really gd qns i was just like erh... haha. oh well. to learn. and then sitting in on the voting session later. makes me wonder wat they said about me last year. but again i also don't think i really want to know.. i heard tapiwa was really pushing for me, which i'm really grateful for too.
crepes at douce france were sooo yummy:) made me happy:) even with the driving-lesson-fiasco in the morning, which i shall not recount because it's nothing that i care to remember. i really really should sleep. i hope the berkeley guy took nice photos.. didn't get to talk to chim/other people too much, though.
sigh so its just the second week of school and i am so so busy. and rather stressed at points. i guess it isn't all that bad.. just crazy deadlines now and then.. anyway so very belated photos are finally here:
chim's cool attic room!
cute black dog i saw at berkeley.. its homeless though. or its owner is, i believe.
my soco room sign! cool huh.. apparently the company is some colgate something or other. symbol:CL
my soco room! yay for singles. although it was admittedly kind of small
my hair. although i think the photo wasn't too well taken, maybe i'll try again one of these days
anyhow. yes. lots of gripes but too tired/lazy to put them into words. its such a chore to tell people, even. haha. i'm getting ridiculously lazy.. really haven't done any work. and it doesn't help when jh instigates me to go over to kimball and slack at yf's room! but it was quite funny la. jokers. but it was raining! augh. yes. i was indeed very whiney about the rain.. do not like tramping around without any sort of cover when its raining! rained pretty hard.
so i kind of need to start figuring out wat i want to do i guess. the kiasu sporean mentality, when starting earlier will give you an edge. actually i think quite a number of pple here do that so it isn't all that edge-giving. haha. but really. how?? shelve that for the more pressing pset of the moment. ha.
sometimes i wonder what i'm doing in uni. i'm not really very interested in doing research papers or reading them, even. like. intellectual curiosity? i'm not exactly thirsting for knowledge the way my econ 52 prof seems to think we should be. i guess i just wanna have fun. epicurean? oh dear. maybe i'm just saying all this cos its late.
improv class is lots of fun though.. i laughed so hard in class today. haven't done that in a while besides talking nonsense with jackie about roasting ducks a couple of days ago. it's so interesting though, you've to accept offers to keep things going and in order to enjoy..
i am so exhausted. my mental faculties are completely dehydrated. and jackie says she's never heard of that line, but i quite remember reading it somewhere so either i'm so tired i'm spouting that much nonsense or i really did read it somewhere just that i don't really remember where:) ah well.
tutor institute was sort of a chore, but there were definitely useful things. and i totally didn't recognize ian, oops. i guess its somewhat like ben not realizing it was me at the sealnet table that day, since i hardly wear contacts (or dye my hair, haha). anyway it was kind of hilarious, i really didn't wanna do roleplaying for tutor institute but was forced to in the end, cos there's a grand total of 5 econ tutors and 4 of them are new and singaporean (zhihao the gambling guru, me, kiat, wangning). kiat left early and zhihao already roleplayed something. so it was like down to me and wangning. with richard and cs unsurreptitiously poking me, the person in charge (amy) was like "i see someone being volunteered" and of cos wangning didn't twitch a muscle so i was like i'll do it.. oh and it was a situation involving an econ tutor and a potential econ major whose math is very bad. so. had to be an econ tutor. ah well. i got an oreo + milk (which was nice).
oh sumo wrestling was hilarious too.. actually i really was not intending to do it.. but tet was quite on about doing it and while watching it was soo amusing so i figured, heck, it's not like i'll get to do this every day so just do lah. and of cos cs had to go back and get his camera so daryl can have more incriminating photos of me on the next eflyer. sigh.
speaking of which, so i've been bugging poor daryl to get the eflyer for fall bbq/mooncake festival out. so yesterday he finally sent it, and i didn't even realize until i opened my blinking adium window and jon was like "OH MY GOSH. he's done it again. HAHAHAHA". at first i was rather puzzled and was like "who?" then i guessed in a second and went "oh dear". jackie couldn't stop cackling when she saw it.. and said she would buy daryl a drink if he were the drinking sort. sigh. so i'm not sure, but friday at activities fair some masters sporeans recognized me (from the flyer maybe???) so it seems like my face is going to become unforgettable. well done. i think sometimes i feel somewhat like poor ser getting diaoed when we were back in rg/rj. haha. but in a different way.
alright i better sleep before i really conk out tomorrow.. still have so many things to do! and jackie was so amused at the way i exclaimed in tragic tones (upon seeing this email from my econ 102A prof) "i have homework! nooooo" apparently i provide a lot of entertainment somehow (with my batchmates, anyway), jackie's recording this list of "clar-isms" and has informed me that it's always on the top 5 list of word docs that she opens. photos next time.
ahhhh. it's 2am!:( i was definitely intending to sleep earlier to make up for my 7am day today (thanks to driving, man) and my 9am day tomorrow, but i ended up talking to jh for like. quite long. it was nice to have a good conversation though. although as we were discussing, wonder if that sort of connection can be made with americans. ponders. but again some sporeans end up marrying nonsporeans anyway so i'm sure sometimes these things must work.. ah well. probably depends on the person, i know a couple of americans who really like hanging out with asians and vice versa too.
oh it was really amusing listening to de wen after chi alpha too. augh i shall continue this tmr.
so it's actually kind of late (well, not really, but since school hasn't started i hope to sleep early. haha) but just had something to say. i had my first driving lesson today! it was kind of freaky, really. got in and then he started asking me all sorts of things i didn't know and i was like. oops. okay. i suppose i must've appeared like i haven't driven before.. but i guess my dad teaching me illegally doesn't really count cos all i was doing was parking, mostly. it just is different.
anyway so the instructor started asking me all sorts of questions which i couldn't answer so he was like, u'd better go read the book properly. i guess he was wondering how i passed the theory test. haha. it is kind of different applying theory to practical though. and then i've never driven more than like 30km/h with my dad whereas the instructor was like faster!! faster!! 25mph/30mph/40mph/...!
it was good in a way though, made me try more stuff and be more confident since i didn't really have much of a choice. haha. funny how things work sometimes. he claims guys are better than girls at driving. maybe cos they're less scared/better coordination. weird theories, but watever.
and yay everyone's back! had dinner w yf n jh n shineik n jesley. as usual i'm like the only non-batchmate. makes me wonder if i'm being extra sometimes but oh well. isn't as bad as being the only undergrad among grad students though:p oh yes i must go visit tianai sometime.. and it was so funny, i was tabling with cs at bechtel and we met some of the grad students-who-came-from-cornell. in which i told yuanjun that christina said he's very funny so he should entertain me! i think they think i was mad. but i really was quite mad that day so hm. it would be justified.
so yeah jh was driving and i think shineik was slightly alarmed by the way he was driving sometimes, it was really funny.. cos he'd swerve while talking to us and stuff (okay not that often, but when he did..) and shineik'd be like "yeah, but not when u're driving" or something like that. rofl.
ahh. kinda miss having sean n joel around. or have i said that already? the happy-go-lucky seniors. well they did get stressed but they were still really chill mostly haha:p i guess after 3 years you tend to be like that.
oh and ser's poster (i.e. my bday present) arrived today!! haha its so pretty yay:) i shall stick it up on my wall soon.. i need to figure out where my bamboo-scroll-thing-from-chinatown (spore) will go though.
ahhhh! i'm in such a crazy mood (i.e. my senile moods i.e. those where i make weird noises and laugh at every single little thing) but there's no one here to be crazy with me! chuansheng just looks at me like i'm mad, which i am, but that doesn't help.. sigh. where's ser when i need her. i think jackie would also think i'm mad. hmm. sigh.
anyway i'm so excited! i think my birkis have arrived.. but i only got the email from the wilbur housing office AFTER they closed. :( cos i was sooo busy this afternoon if not i'd be happily wearing them by now! -sulks-. oh well.
ohhh!!! and i saw roomie today! ahaha. so funny.. she colored her hair too. but definitely more obviously than mine.. pretty funky. haha. she said she didn't recognize me. and also that she liked my hair. and that i looked more sprightly so summer break did me well! i'm like.. hahaha okay i'm super sleep deprived by now.. 3h45 on thursday night and 3h45 on sunday night.. and having to wake up at 7 today to go help freshmen move in.. oh! i met the people who're staying in my (last year) room! so exciting.. haha.
sometimes its so weird. i feel like i get my energy from other people. or actually, kind of mood-swingy. sometimes i'll be like taciturn and zoning out and watever.. and then sometimes i'll suddenly be (relatively) more chatty and smiley and etc. so after today morning's "speech" by dean julie and all i was like ooh, it's time to be nice and friendly to the freshmen. dunno if that's coherent, but it is something i noticed. and brings me back to last year's pledging.. social events, i get energy from seeing pple like vivian and christine so bubbly.
augh i don't understand why some people can't understand that not everyone likes the same kind of music.. do you really have to blast out your songlist?! oh great. stopped! whee. :)
oohh i'm happy today:) albeit still kind of tired, having stayed up till 5am on friday morning to finish my analyst report [and i only really finished it after class] i did my written test today! so now i just need to get a couple more lessons and i can go for practical and get my license woohoo:) thanks for poor meng how who had to get up to drive me there:| i wanted to treat him to lunch but he refused. oh well.
and then i went to deliver the S@S flyer to i-center.. which was closed, oops. i really should've done it way earlier sigh. but anyway, then i saw mod! and art! and annie! and mac! in that order. haha. oh and i saw top yesterday when i was moving! yay for thai scholars who were on SEALNet trip. it was so nice to see them.. heh. i'm glad they're all pretty close by.. on east campus anyway. i realized how far lantana is from everything boo. flomo was really a pretty good location. ah well.
okay i really need to do my paper.. oh! i must say, lunch at tofu house was fantastic. made me even happier. hahaha. whee
i suddenly have a craving for pizza. to be exact, the bbq chicken pizza we had at prof shoven's house on sunday. it was sooo good. from spot, i think. forgot what its real name is.. but it is one fabulous bbq chicken pizza. haha. i decided when i get stressed, i eat. very bad, really. now i'll have to find more time to go to the gym or something. boo.
anyway, the reason i am stressed is because i only really started writing my analyst report on disney today. well i sort of glanced through the 5 reports i downloaded in the business library yesterday, but that isn't really really counted i guess? and yes, taadaa the report is due tmr morning at 10am. sigh. clar and procrastination. this whole course is kinda disastrous in that respect, so it seems. didn't read the books, now i'm doing my stuff so last minute as usual. and the paper.. is going to be quite a headache unless i can figure out what i'm going to focus on/how i'm going to do it.
and i also volunteered to present on monday, thinking that it'll force me to get my stuff done, but i conveniently forgot about having peer mentor training the whole of sunday afternoon. so.. that is going to be interesting too. and i need to do a good paper to make up for my not asking questions in class. i don't know, i just didn't know what to ask.. -frowns- or maybe i was intimidated by how the guys seemed to know a whole lot of stuff and i know next to nothing.
ah. watever. i shall finish the report soon so i can sleep.. and i also originally forgot about moving out tomorrow! it'll be nice to be in my real room.. and hopefully with more space. anyway at least i'll be able to decorate and stuff. not that i decorate a lot, but then i can put pics and stuff up. also got to figure out about my packages which haven't arrived, hope the housing service pple don't kill me:(
so, it doesn't seem like i'm going to be all that free before school starts.. again, conveniently forgot i was peer mentoring. oh crap! i still owe the tutoring people my bio and photo and ahhh.. okay, one thing at a time. i should stop working myself into a frenzy hm.
blah now i wish i'd done my driving stuff last year. for a huge variety of reasons, not excluding how i didn't get to drive the grand prix go-karts today thanks to my lack of a license! ah well. but we went to play mini golf, which was pretty fun.. i was pretty good at the beginning but zonked out at the end! sigh.. oh well:) it also kind of reminded me of how we went sentosa mini-golfing when the twins came to sg when they (and I) were little.
anyhow.. the bumper boats looked really fun too! haha. but kind of wet. so after that we headed to my prof's house for dinner (pizza) which was nice.. and he has a pool table at home! sweet. and a very nice garden.. although i think my psych introsem prof's garden is prettier. think she spends more time planting stuff.. or maybe it's prettier cos deer and weird wild animals don't trample through it. -shrug-
so, i think my prof must be quite the pool fanatic cos there's a mini-pool table in his office as well! haha. and another random fact: his car license plate is SIEPR, stanford institute for economic policy research for something like that.. sheesh. oh and then teresa was trying to figure out wat cars were in his garage.. there was a really nice looking sports car (convertible, i dunno wat make it was), a bmw (the SIEPR plate one), a lexus, and two more cars (one of which is a jeep-looking thing, okay i'm really bad at cars but watever).
when i think about how my bio introsem prof is living in this house which i think is pretty inexpensive and if i remember correctly, built for people who didn't have that high a budget for a house.. seems like the payscale for a finance prof and a bio prof differs quite a bit huh.
oh anyway, i won two pool games in a row (actually by default, cos the other side potted the white ball while trying to get the black in/potted the black prematurely), one of which was played with my prof as my partner so that was quite funny. he was like, i know how to pick my partner. rofl. i think i definitely play better when i'm not wearing high heels.
haven't been too good about blogging.. i get distracted by lots and lots of stuff:| anyway, my brother forgot to give me my camera cable so gotta wait till yf comes back next thurs to pass it to me.. but there're fun photos.. lala.
went to berkeley to visit chim n jane today! finally! after promising for a year! i am so proud of myself.. i think it is really quite hard to get down during the school year though.. it took like 2+hrs on public transport, and i'm sure driving isn't that much faster either. but it was sooo unbelievably good to see them:) although it's just been over a month since i've seen them.. and we were talking about some rg gep things. good times:)
jane's apartment is lovely and the building has some sort of rustic charm.. chim's house is homey and comfy.. i wish i had a house too! photos have to come later, unfortunately. oh chim's attic room is pretty cool too, besides wang ning's pointed comments about her having to go into yonghe's room to climb up to her room.. haha. and chim cooked pasta for us for dinner! she said it was idiotproof (as compared to pineapple-less pineapple tarts - 413ers? hehe)
yeah.. i don't really feel like saying anything else at the moment. trying to figure out how to achieve my aim of getting my license (actually now my new goal is like before sch starts haha) since the favorite driving instructor for singaporeans at stanford is on holiday till dec. augh.
blah. its 4:30am and somehow i can't get back to sleep.. maybe i shouldn't have taken a nap in the afternoon:| which also, incidentally, caused me to miss dinner. and then i suddenly started worrying about all sorts of things, like how i'm going to get to church and whether i really like this whole investing business because it doesn't really mean anything to me at the moment.
i have a single! hehe. quite fun.. just that it does allow me to be even more solitary which may not be such a good idea.. i have no idea where the other people disappear to, either they're off at their friends' dorms or they're in their rooms with the door closed. class is just from 10 - 12 and after that we're mostly free.. so need to figure out what to do. yay tmr stacey's feeding ponies so i can tag along!:) whee.
yeah i was also thinking about the people i hang out with on a regular basis (at sch) and decided there're really very few of them. but whether it's just me being unsociable or it being a normal state of things in general is something i still wonder about sometimes. i suppose i assume everyone here is really outgoing and spends their time hanging out and getting to know more people.
alright i shall attempt to get back to sleep.. hopefully will be able to finish skimming my books for tmr's lesson. augh. i really should've read the books.
i think my mom's right. i should've cut my hair earlier. i have a huge tendency to procrastinate and therefore now its a crazy rush (okay, i'm not rushing yet but i will be soon) to get everything done.. anyway the slanted fringe thing didn't turn out too well cos i only decided on a slanted fringe after she trimmed it straight so its kind of short. oh wells. and the red does tend to look quite bright in some sorts of lights. but it's still fun to have different coloured hair haha.
oh dear. i think i shouldn't have read selene's blog. or maybe i'm just blaming that cos its convenient. but anyway i suddenly feel rather melancholic! cos there're 3 days left. or less, actually. more like 2.. at least i did most of the things on my to-do list today.. alright i really should go and pack. more like, -start- packing. :|
at least we have the house to ourselves until after i leave. heh. ms jap girl is now at my uncle's house. but then my parents got into an argument (actually i guess it isn't all that rare) so they aren't speaking at the moment. so silly. i'm sure they'll be fine soon, but still.
actually i think i'll be fine once i'm back in school. it's just the thinking about the in-between that isn't very fun. blah alright time to go do something productive (like eat durians, :D)
heh been so busy. kind of. so let's see.. tuesday was meeting up with so3c girls.. and we met jm and amanda by chance! so funny.. so sarah sj chelsea (whom i haven't seen since results, i'm sure) fiona n candice n me had lunch at nana thai at far east.. pretty good price - student discounts! and then fried mars bars.. i tell u candice is hooked on that..
so since i promised rachel i'd visit learning lab i decided to get a lift from candice back to united square.. first time being chauffeured by candice!! haha. she has a cool style of driving man.. and a nice new car. heh. i told her she needed a convertible to complete her image:)
silly rachel didn't realize it was me.. thought i was a student [grr]. oh i saw chernise at the ben & jerry's downstairs but she was quite busy so didn't stay for long. so after entertaining rachel for a bit while she was doing her paris duty [which consists of sitting on a stool outside this sliding door place to ensure that students don't get hurt by the sliding door which is so cleverly concealed u don't realize it's a door until it opens and then if you're playing around there's a possibility of your hand getting chopped off] i went in to look for christine.. who as usual shrieked when she saw me and went on and on about how i'm still so small and cute. apparently i [surprise surprise] look even younger! she claims its the fringe and the mid-length hair.
then i met ms jap girl (her name is yumiko). i think her eyes might possibly be bigger than mine. or maybe its cos of the eyeliner/mascara. anyway her english isn't fantastic.. i'm not even sure how much of wat i'm saying she understands. oh well. we had dinner with my aunt and uncle and cousin.. lots and lots of food. actually since she came i've been eating a LOT. augh.
it's funny how when guests come, life becomes so much better. so since she's here, we get to use the car (instead of my bro) and get good food all the time, basically. i guess it sort of makes sense, yet it's ironic at the same time. i just had durians (the best, according to my dad, who doesn't want to admit how much he paid for them cos i think my mom'll scold him for spending so much. haha).
anyway. wed.. city tour and then ended up at chinatown. in which it started raining! so i was sloshing around in wet slippers.. reminded me of bangkok as i was telling jh.. and then i ended up buying this bamboo poster thingy. i was rather amused, she's the tourist supposed to be the one buying things and i'm the one who ends up spending $. but in the end she got something too. bargaining there was ridiculously easy, i was surprised.
shopping at marina square after that - i decided it was silly to try and walk around outside in the rain.. i saw this $10 dress, quite crazy. but then i also don't think i have anything to wear it to.. oh well. wish there was more occasion to wear my sec 4 prom gown, i really like it:) although i wonder if i can still fit into it -frowns-
today was sentosa.. was quite a bad day actually, kept raining and raining. my mom says i'll be expert at sliding when i'm done with this pair of slippers.. i think i'm quite pro already haha. but we got to see dolphins! although the las vegas show was better i think. or maybe i'm biased:p oh well.
and the musical fountain! it looked quite promising but turned out to be half good half bad. they had this ridiculously silly-looking emcee who was really quite a clown.. the only impressive thing was his cartwheel-plus-somersaults at the end of the show.. other impressive things include how he managed ot make a fool of himself. okay i'm really critical.. oh well. but his presence really detracted from the enjoyment of the performance, as did the presence of kiki the retarded giggling green monkey and his fantastic fish friends which were fantastic in their ugliness than anything else.
but i have to say the techniques of the laser show were pretty cool.. the 3d creatures looked very real. quite amazing. unfortunately.. there's the lack of style. i think they were trying to cater for kids.. thus the advent of kiki and his silly friends. bellagio fountains! ahh i wanna go to vegas. so it reminded me of wenzheng's flying to vegas (and grand canyon too i think?) maybe i should go get myself a pilot's license too! lala.
today's been such a long day. i don't know why i'm still at the comp.. trying to figure out if i should buy birkenstocks. haha. sigh. anyway, it was good meeting everyone.. haven't seen some people in such a long time! i doubt if i've seen lou since sec 4 man.. haha. maybe from time to time but still.
so ms jap girl is coming tmr.. i better clean up my room somemore. i think it's gonna be a pretty mad rush. it's so funny, she wants to go spa! and i haven't even been to one.. luckily lyd gave me some recommendations heh:)
i am so full. watching kahli and shan cook was quite interesting.. makes me wish i could too. but it does really take quite a lot of time i think. and yingling's so funny! heh. sometimes i really forget that she n kahli n i used to be in the same class/pri sch. seems like sec 3-4 was most memorable.
darryl never fails to amuse me.. maybe cos i have it permanently stuck in my head that he's silly.. so he'll always be silly to me whether he's grown up or not:p but again like i was saying, friends are to [in yf's words, sort of] talk nonsense to.
come to think of it daryl also never fails to amuse me. also another silly one. and both of them are so involved in church stuff. interesting.
i finally have my land before time dvd:) and it came with stickers!! haha. i think i'll bring it back to stanford to watch. hm. and that silly buddy! too lazy to write me a letter to go with it. grumbles. oh well.
aiyah i think i need to sleep. wonder how i'm gonna pack and all.. i think it's just easier not to think about things sometimes. cos the more you think about it the worse it gets.. taking things as they come and appreciating/revelling in wat u have at the moment is so much less painful. cos if i keep thinking about how i'll miss being home i'll just be miserable. whereas if i'm just happy while i'm home then i'm happy and that's good. and then when i go back to school i'll be happy at school (hopefully) and there you are.
so random, mrs kwan called me up while i was in the bus on the way to orchard (to meet wangning and his roommates and cs for dinner) to ask for chim's email to ask about emilyn. it was nice talking to her though half the conversation revolved around how US-spore communications work (skype and handphones and wat not). i think the tchers are kinda worried about us. wonder if they feel responsible since they taught us (and we're geps, so much $ spent on us and everything). i'm sure they really care about us, relationships built and all, but still wondering if a sort of duty sense comes into play.
oh and i saw jacelyn tay at kino after dinner. again very random cos i was trying to find some book and waiting at the information counter and this female was in front of me (all i could see was a curtain of hair) and i idly glanced down at the form she was filling up - i was wondering if that was a form to help the pple find the book or something but i guess it was probably an order form or something? and i saw "jacelyn tay" in caps and was wondering if that was really her or someone else with the same name. but yeah it was her.
i'm so frustrated/moody and i don't think blogging this is going to help but i'm blogging anyway. haha that sounds so silly. i sort of think it comes with having just one week left here. i don't know what to do, what to buy, augh! don't know what's the matter. it's so hard to have a family meal at all and even then it'll be a hassle deciding where to go, how much food is enough or not. right that sounds even dumber but whatever..
just need to snap out of it... maybe i need to hang out in my bro's room and hear him talk some nonsense:)
yay for staying at home. although sometimes i don't get tired enough and can't fall asleep immediately. but then last night i was so tired but still took sometime to sleep. oh well. soco books! it is time to launch a desperate campaign.
anyway, yesterday was pretty fun despite all the walking/standing i was subjected to. haha. went back to rg w ser cos she was giving a talk on mit (to rg girls! !! the mit alum guy is super onz man.. apparently he wants more girls to apply). we were standing outside the staffroom (actually, HOD room) and the list of phone numbers thing was at the staffroom so i was like aiyah call her hp la. so serene, after complaining, fished out her phone (and decided to take a photo of me, now that i think of it) and then called her.. i just happened to be twirling around and then saw ms tan walking out of the staffroom! haha. how fun.
the only problem being that the first thing she said upon seeing me was that i'd gained weight. -sigh- oh well. but no way am i going to subject myself to the way serene's losing weight. it is SO painful to eat with her. here is what happened when i went to her house for lunch:
clar starts eating normal food (packet rice n stuff)
ser examines the nutrition facts on the yoghurt in front of her and nods in satisfaction, "okay, 215 (or something) calories.. plus 90 (from a quakers bar). good."
and today.. "clar.. i'm still hungry (she had a 135cal yoghurt for lunch).. let's go eat" <-- vaguely reminiscent of sec sch/JC days actually.
so we went down to the canteent. in which she ate two more yoghurts and some snacks and still felt hungry (i kept telling her "u ran 10km! i'm sure u can afford to eat some carbs") but felt guilty cos of the snacks and decided she'd only have veges for dinner.
so, i think one ought to enjoy eating (to an extent, i've obviously been overenjoying:p) but this is quite a sad state. but i suppose there's satisfaction to be had in losing weight from restricting wat you eat.
anyway, enough about dieting. ms tan's hilarious.. she kept calling her two sec 3 classes "stupid".. i felt so sorry for them. but apparently they're really quite bad, esp given that they're gep classes. kinda sad cases hm. and then she was giving ser relationship advice.. haha chris n ting, she thinks u guys are very steady and sensible pple, dun need to worry about u:)
yeah it was nice seeing everyone again.. pity we didn't catch ms hoo and poor chen lao shi broke her arm! hm. maybe i should go visit her or something huh. but i doubt i can carry on a decent conversation in chinese:| oh dear. and ms yeo and mrs lee-lim chyn, both of whom thought i was very familiar but i think they forgot my name. ms yeo was regaling me with tales of how ms tan (as head of research) strikes fear into the heart of any teacher cos she's v fierce when pple ask her silly questions about the research study stuff. haha.
oh and teoch and ms ning teach the same "stupid" classes (teoch is the form tcher for one of the classes), but i think they were trying to tone down ms tan's criticisms haha.
i finally got to see the inside of rg staffrooms/hod rooms! haha. after.. 4 years after graduating. wow it has been that long huh. yeah the sec 4s have black nametags too.. sigh.
somehow i ended up waiting for silly ser to finish her talk (which took twice the time!!) and ms tan said she really gave us face cos she never has time to talk to poor puee, and she also intended to go home at 2 today (in the end she ended up going back at like 5 or something oops:|). oh ya so she decided ser should go talk to deborah tan as a polite gesture and she herself didn't wanna see dtan cos she hadn't prepared some presentation so she scurried off and took me with her.. hahaha.
anyway. i think it was almost 6 when ser finished buying her stuff n went home. so i went to buy stationery from popular (yay for jap-brand stationery heh) then i was trying to figure out where optic point was but gave up, met jh n yf n went to borders where they didn't have my books! bah. amazon rocks. and then went to kino cos jh was looking for some fantasy book or other.
& tu n her fren phong were late! grr. it was so funny though, almost didn't see them walking past us in wisma. this is so random, i suddenly feel like seeing lyd again. i think i was thinking about how its different hanging out with stanford pple vs non. i guess the former group reminds me that i have another life back there. how interesting.
james came later. and shihua & weisiang the latest! hehe me n shihua were extolling the comfort of pedalworks shoes:) even though now i think i should've gotten a not-so-high pair, sigh. oh well. live and learn.
when we walked tu back to her hotel she realized her phone was missing! augh. poor thing. i hope she finds it, but then i kinda doubt that's gonna happen too. sigh. but anyway so after that jh was squawking about wanting to take a cab whereas i was adamant about not doing so cos it wasn't that late and i don't take cabs when i don't absolutely have to. and yf didn't want to either, i forgot why. so we were walking towards the 171 bus stop and having this little argument until i gave up and was like fine, take cab. in which we discovered there's a long line at raffles city for cabs! and it's kind hard to flag along busy roads.
to top it off, both jh's n yf's buses came (respectively, in order) before we decided to walk back to the hotel and get a cab there. haha somehow going home with those two is always so ridiculous.. the last time they were being wishy washy about which bus stop to go to and how to get to it.. anyhow we finally got a cab:) i still wonder if it was any faster actually haha but oh well.
and oh! my brother's so silly. so after i got home and bathed and my dad finished using the computer.. i got online and then my bro IMed me and asked "u back ah? gg out tomorrow?" and as you can imagine i had the wat's-wrong-with-you look on my face and i walked over and opened the door and gave him a withering look. haha. i was in the living room and he was in his room (with the door closed) but really!
sigh. axess opened for enrollment and as usual i don't know what to do! kinda detracts from my reading my soco books. of course i'm just finding a convenient excuse, but still. and i need to buy stuff. but i'm out of that buying mode... i don't know why i'm more in a shopping mood when i'm working. how interesting.
yesterday met hwying n selene at holland v.. i really haven't kept in touch with them much in jc, i realized. actually i was quite distanced frm sec sch pple in jc, now that i think about it. i guess i was quite involved in choir after all, haha. and now i hardly even talk to them.. kinda pathetic. but i guess those of them who were closer probably do.
but anyway, so when i come back the people i meet are my sec 4 classmates mostly. and fiona n candice. haha. i guess this sort of thing does make you realize who's important to you.
then after then went to whampoa to make cushion covers.. really random. and parents dropped me off at glass house, stanford gathering! sort of. haha. tracy (asian american) was here for holiday so wang ning organized a dinner.. she's so tall la! i think she's taller than joon.. -shakes head- ridiculous! haha. anyway it was nice meeting her.. and the twins n daryl n cs. silly jon was/is in msia. but anyway it was so weird though, for a moment it was kind of like being back in stanford again. i guess cos of the things we talk about. but then the twins aren't coming till nxt year, kind of a pity.
and the karaoke-ing at night reminded me of thailand. which is, sadly, the one and only other time i've gone. haha. tracy knows a crazy lot of chinese songs! i decided i need to go find more songs/learn more lyrics.
today went to this toastmaster's club meeting thing upon yz's invitation. oh yeah yesterday i was telling the twins about it and they heard "ghostbusters" or something, i couldn't stop laughing. anyway toastmasters is this public speaking practice-making-speeches thing, pretty interesting. i'm sure it's very helpful too.. but i can't join the stanford one cos it meets on wednesdays. unless chi alpha changes its meeting time, which i doubt.
so since ser was telling me tonight she wished she were like me with an unbroken heart, something suddenly came to mind. somehow with a lot of pple i've met up with, a sizeable part of the conversation was devoted to relationships (or gossip, whichever u want to see it as). i forgot who said it, but i guess it kind of goes with age. i think it was pam. but anyway, so after we graduate it'll be who's getting married/who's working where.. then who has kids.. and then after that talking about the kids..
ah. it's time to sleep. i need to make better use of my time at home.
yay for cuteoverload.com (and to my phe for introducing me to the website:))
alright so i was in a very grumpy mood. didn't want to get up, when my mom poked me (okay she didn't really, but nevermind)awake i felt like someone just whacked me on the head with a frying pan. don't ask why. so i really really didn't want to get up and tried to catch a few more winks and finally got up at 8:30 very unwilingly but with the feeling of inevitability.
after trying to decide wat to wear and changing into it i suddenly felt like i didn't want to go anymore. and so i went to whine at my mom who was like why! wat're you gonna do at home! it's the first (of its kind), everyone will be there! so i grumbled somemore and said okay i'll go.. blah. so anyway it did turn out rather a waste of time, except for the souvenirs. US career fairs are definitely more worth it.
confluence 2006. and the reception's at 4pm! ah watever, and i was in no mood to stand around talking and pretending i'm interested in companies and wat not. okay i guess i could've snapped out of it but.. temperamental la.
oh yes, so yesterday we were at rj. which, unfortunately, i thought was rather a waste of time as well. but at least we got to see math mr chan.. wish we had longer to talk then he can entertain us with his deadpan humour! it was quite funny though, me and serene were walking then suddenly this car was next to us and the window was rolling down and it was mr chan! [we were walking frm rj to ri atrium to wait for him cos he was going to ri to fetch his wife] photo's on siewjin's blog..
and it wasn't a waste of time in that i got to meet aud n sj n sarah n andrew. serene isn't mentioned cos i've seen her more than during the last break already. haha. yah.. and it seems like sj's n ser's lives at michigan/mit are very complicated. i guess if there's anything going on at stanford i'm just blissfully ignorant:) funny how i look at other people and wonder how come my life seems deceptively less complicated. probably i'm in denial about any problems there might be.
to be happyy and freeee.. haha. like the bear in the pic! yay for foreverfriends websites
ooh. i'm feeling warm and fuzzy. no one online to gush at, so time for this blog to serve its purpose. part of it, anyway.
i wore pam's earrings today! and ser took a photo of me shying away from [rather dirty] eeyore and the earring was quite visible so i decided to send it to pam and say hello. and it's so random cos she replied - really fast, i must say, it was like 10 mins! that's ridiculous, considering how she can take up to a month to reply to my emails. and said that it was freaky cos she was just thinking of me before my email came in! (and its 2:20am) aww. i miss pam.
crashed ser's house today [and harrassed poor seng online haha] and then had dinner w 413 girls plus jane. i wish chris was back! chris where are you, thou hath abandoned me:( anyway.. i think we need another class gathering! i so love my sec 4 class. and the other rg geps of my year. somehow 4 years together in one way or other really created great bonding. nothing in rj comes close. for me, anyway. i wonder wat it'll be like for uni. as in which group holds the strongest bonds. oh well.
alright hopefully i can convince myself to go run tomorrow.. before my mom starts nagging me about my unacceptable weight. and esp after she knows ser is on a diet.. i knew it la.. which is why i didn't want to tell her. now it's "she's on a diet! so should you!" so i was just like i don't care lor. actually i guess i was kind of being perverse. i would try to lose the 2+kg i put on but then i can't be bothered to go and research on calorie values and wat not like our dear ser. so. haha.
sigh i'm so oddly restless now. and out of sorts. where are people when i want to talk to them! grouches. alright i just disturbed a random couple of people to entertain me haha. thankfully tomorrow i'll be out of the house and hopefully less grumpy.
riverdance just played on my itunes! reminded me of the fireworks finale.
how funny. i was just looking for the colorgenics test (cos somehow the original website doesn't work) and this came out after i finished clicking the cubes:
"Whatever it was that has made you so bitterly disappointed has left a nasty taste in your mouth and you feel that 'enough is enough'. You are sick of it all. Wouldn't it just be wonderful if you could retire to a desert island and turn your back on the past?" and the whole escaping thing reminds me of wat i used to (sometimes still do) say in jc and last year when i felt so cooped up.
anyway. oh i just remembered yh's story about darryl and "my senior".. hahaha. that boy will never grow up. so much for calling me a two year old. at least that brought some mirth into my life.. wed will be hilarious i think. and i'll finally get to watch land before time.. i'm so deprived!
how? should i go to paris? and if so, when? there aren't really that many classes to take there.. augh. i need to talk to ruixiong. which means i've to wait till tmr, if i manage to catch him online before i go off and wreck ser's house. haha.
ahhh my pooor feet! actually we didn't walk around that much.. just the latter part of the night. but that was quite enough. heh. i should sleep soon. but anyway.. wat a full day!
got up at like 8:30 (rather unwillingly, i must add - i didn't sleep too well somehow) and then was trying to figure out how to get to NUS on my own, cos my bro took the car to go to work (work! on sat! oh well). but thankfully fiona told me the medicine item started later so could wait for him to get back and my mom gave me a lift.
and when i got to NUS rag.. wow. first time in a long time that i've seen such spirit.. in cheering and stuff. i guess it's been some time since rg house prac. and the dancing was good.. and the music! the floats were pretty cool too really. the hall ones were really pretty.
i am suddenly too tired to blog about the rest of my day. reminiscing sec sch days w anna n yingling were hilariously fun:) and hanging around waiting for fireworks! thanks yh:) i actually wouldn't have stayed and seen them otherwise. and i think i felt less of a restriction talking. i THINK. sometimes i'm so confused. like last night i was thinking about like pri sch and everything and realized that sometimes i dream so vividly and i remember those dreams.. that i can't distinguish between true memories and dream memories. i am such a weird person.
am kinda tired. but oh well yay i finished typing my historian stuff! now to organize it and what not.. tomorrow. days pass so fast. i guess it only takes determination to do watever i want to do. although it doesn't come by all that easily. and discipline!
so i'm ploughing through (okay, it's not that much of a chore, it's kinda interesting but it really shows you how i waste my time) my past blog entries and finding really funny things! and how my writing style has changed. i don't know if i can still write the deadpan sort of way.. I don't even know if that's the correct description. but. ahh. i miss chris. and pam. at least i get to see lyd pretty often for now.
colin reminded me of the madagascar penguins just now (in ref to my msn pic) and i remember enjoying their antics on madagascar so decided to check out quotes on imdb! haha. so cute. i feel like watching madagascar just for the penguins.. shall see if youtube offers anything.
i seem to have nothing to say nowadays. maybe it's the mood. or maybe i think too much.
how queer. i was taking tickle tests for fun and then was taking this one about subconscious mind. and it said my subconscious worries were financial! uncannily spot-on, i think. financial in terms of the amount of $$ spent for today's gathering.. i really should've sent out that email like i intended to. and in terms of not-being-on-scholarship.
[okay that was yesterday and i was too lazy to post]
so i thought today's dinner would be fun. but, somehow, [this i still have trouble believing] i didn't send james the msg [or was unclear in it] and he thought dinner was tmr! super screwed up, after all the trouble to find a common time for 5 pple. ahh watever i should just forget about it. i need to learn to appreciate the present more.
so after that phone call i was like. crap. and then one of them said that i looked so sad already, nevermind. then yf n jh decided i was hard to read. i wonder if that's true/that's good.
wonder if i should go out tomorrow just to watch harvard din n tonics at hilton. too lazy to arrange to meet pple. i should really get off my butt n get stuff done. and that's not just meeting people.
ooh i just found a video file from dischordant's taiwan competition.. clean forgot how fabulous val's voice is.. ahh. -melts- hehe. she should go cut an album. and reggie and krishna too! sigh it's been so long.
[update at 12:14am] yup, i did send the msg and it said "tmr" but that silly boy assumed it was tues so it's not my fault. phew. i wonder if that really bothered me the whole evening. hmm. if it did, then i think it's bcos i sort of pride myself on organizing things/gatherings properly and i don't think i've ever had friends mistake the day. i THINK. oh well it's all over anyway
so.. i'm done with my internship. it's so weird though, i felt a curious sense of loss (or of finality/of ending/sth?) as i walked out of the treasury towards funan [and conveniently forgot to go in and see if the person could replicate my key]. i guess it's been such a routine that i've just gotten used to going to work and all.. and it was weird to think that i'm done, i won't be coming back. and also cos i didn't really do proper goodbyes, being last minute clar, i was doing work right up till the last minute. but i think it's partly cos of the tea session with the deputy secretary (DS).
on a rather tangential note, the word 'deputy' just confuses me thoroughly. i kept wondering if the "deputy head" or the "head" was more important. i guess i just assumed the title with more words should be the more important one, which is wrong. oh well.
so yes, tea session. that must've been the most awkward tea session i've ever been to. not that i've been to many, but there were like 11 of us (including the DS, the HR manager and the corporate dvpt head) sitting around this table with dishes of chicken pie (with a fork! how in the world do you eat polar puff chicken pies with a fork??) and tea. oh wait, i forgot the most important part. sitting in SILENCE because it was so awkward. a relatively formal setting for something which didn't sound in the least formal. and then he started quizzing us, actually i think tianai and probably zhijia got the hardest qns. but maybe tts cos they've been here for 7-8 weeks.
anyhow. ohh sean's and shihua's bday party tonight.. haha i'm really so extra, dunno wat i was doing there when they were all grad students.. but they were nice la, talked to us (as in me n daryl) and everything. and it was good to see sean n wenzheng after soo long. can't believe i'm only seeing them one month after i've been back (and have one month left).
ah and meeting fiona n candice on thurs for lunch was fun too:) although i think maybe it was a bit weird at first.. but then i was so amused, cos they couldn't figure out where funan was and ended up at chijmes! at least lyd knows where funan is:p we had fun talking nonsense although at the last bit i needed to get back to office to do my work. fiona asked me a very interesting question: do americans look at us in the same way that we look at PRCs?
finally i get to sleep at any time i want and wake up anytime i want.. yeahhh the luxury:) but i need to figure out sunday! ahh. things never end.
i have rediscovered my ability to not-put-a-book-down. sort of, anyway. after i finally redeemed my times voucher from last year's college day haha. blink by malcolm gladwell is interesting. the only problem being that it resembles my psych introsem teacher's book quite a bit - i.e. a mix of self-help and psych research written in prose. which, depending on which way you look at it, may turn out to be quite cheesy because each example is, at its core, is an illustration of the same principle in a different situation. and the author's just drumming into you how important his/her point is. or, you can see it as being really true and taking something from it. i guess the former would be the more cynical viewpoint.
it's still kind of interesting though.. and reminded me of one of my goals. which is to take the improvising class at some point. and the book said something interesting about improvising, that each actor accepts anything (and everything) that his/her fellow actors throw out.. no matter how ridiculous it is. so one of the examples was that a doctor wants to amputate a patient's leg. and the patient can either say no (in which the act can't continue, cos options are limited) or the patient can say yes (in which the example went on with the patient saying "but that's the leg u amputated already!"). okay i'm not even sure if it makes sense out of context but it was quite funny..
and i met joanna today. she's so bubbly! reminds me of christine and vivian actually.. they're ridiculously lively. and somehow i managed to catch onto their enthusiasm and be more so while we were at our social events (while pledging). it really does matter, the pple i hang out with. so i need to find more cheerful pple and christians to hang out with.
sometimes i just feel so tired i don't want to talk to people. cos listening and nodding while listening to them gives me such a headache. i wonder if that's just a really rare thing which i notice cos its such a strong feeling at that time, or that it happens really quite often and i don't remember.
alright i must go figure out wat bday presents to buy..
so i can't remember why but i was thinking about how everything, every sort of organized group with a hierarchy is just a large scale version of any student group aka cca.. ah. i think i know why. cos today i was sitting in a meeting and the deputy secretary (DS) was pretty much the president.. and etc. and then my church too.. there're the leaders.. and then those who're involved in planning stuff but not in the leadership, and then the rest of us.
i think i sound incoherent. but i shall try to make some sense. so when i was in choir comm, i realized how the committee members are definitely most engaged and it's always a problem to try and get the rest of the members to be as engaged. and how that plays out in church too, and now in the ministry when the larger problem is the people ie the rest of spore. so it's like just a larger and larger scale. which reminded me of (blimey! my computer screen just went back to the normal colour, hallelujah. okay i shouldn't use words like that in vain.) okay which reminded me of some econ thing i learnt last quarter. to do with sub-game perfect nash equilibrium. and it doesn't even relate that much.. ah nevermind.. too hard to illustrate here.
i'm glad my sneezing fit has subsided. that was kind of painful. time for bed.
i don't know how to curry favour with my now-supervisor (since mine has left to go on holiday augh) when he doesn't even seem like he wants to talk to me! bleah. and the other guy i work with is pretty much as new as i am (okay he's been there for a couple of months, but still) even though he's so much easier to talk to cos he just graduated. okay maybe that doesn't necessarily go together but you know, less of an age diff i guess.
oh today morning's phone conversation was hilarious though, thanks to jh n james for giving me a fun start to the day. first they were scolding me for being late. then they were instigating me to pon work and go for leng's talk and workshop at SMU. anyway, it was still rather amusing. unfortunately when i got to work a lot of things started going wrong.. sigh.
1. I reached the lift at 9:10am. and then the lift doors opened and out walked my boss and the other guy i work with
2. I got into office and you could hear a pin drop. Why? Cos I forgot that there was this event thingy today which started off with breakfast at 8:30 and a talk-thingy in the auditorium at 9:00. so, of course, i was rather late.
at least after that wasn't so bad. until i fell into my half-asleep state on the bus and got off on the wrong bus stop and decided to walk home (2 bus stops). when i decide to do things like that i should make sure i'm in running gear man.. oh well. got home in one piece at least.
so i'm finally getting down to typing out the SEALNet stuff, since jh has accused me of being unreliable (in getting work done on time). and it's such a curious feeling. like reliving those two weeks. sometimes i still question my own motivations. did i really feel that there was meaning in doing the stuff that we did or did i just take it as a holiday with new friends to be made? hm.
anyway, stanford talk at rj today.. was kind of disappointing somehow. i guess cos i remember the fun yale (ervin yeo! ahaha) talk and generally how q&a was pretty fun.. we didn't leave that much time for questions and then no one was really asking at first either so.. dunno la. and i didn't get to see mr chan! grumbles. i shall have to msg him sometime and figure out when to go back and say hello. although it's such a long walk, i'm not even sure it's worth it. haha.
on another note i think i would want to go back to rg.. at least that's the building i studied in. the building does make a difference. like you walk around and think about stuff that you did there. i think one of my "biggest" wishes is to see the inside of the RG staffroom though, i was just thinking about it and i know i always regarded it with great reverence, wondering wat lay behind.
sigh, i don't think i'm being a very good intern. really. the days when i left early to do talks (i.e. today for rj and last wed for vj) i may as well have NOT gone to work, spent the mornings doing up the presentation.. and then if not i'll get super bored and i'll msn a lot. so so bad. esp cos i have just a month, which is good cos its not too long, but i should really not slack so much. but my reasoning is also that there's a limit to how much i can read/think about with regard to prisons and rehab. sigh.
wow i didn't realize experiences was so tiring. after like 10 mins of talking i realized wat a long day it was going to be. but i'm so thankful that the sophomores came.. if not we'd be seriously overworked i think. or actually i guess just less pple get to ask questions or something.. hm.
my goodness.. i'm so last minute it's terrible.. wat kind of president am i being.. augh. rj presentation is driving me nuts. looks like i won't be doing work at work tomorrow again.. augh.
i had the weirdest dream last night. and i am also quite sure that i've had a similar dream before. i.e. having to catch a flight to SF (i.e. go back to stanford) and having not packed in advance. maybe it's a phobia of packing now, after that crazy night before coming home for summer.
anyway.. so i think i was thinking about it before i fell asleep and realized that i conveniently forget the times when i felt unutterably lonely during the year (i.e. missing my girl friends). and then i was wondering why that happened there but not here, even though i don't see my friends all the time although i'm in spore too. so i decided that it's cos here i can still randomly msg pple and they'll reply. or something like that. maybe i need more better friends at stanford hm.
which leads me to my next point. i think i'm falling into the trap that i've tried so hard to avoid. i've always made it a point to mean what i say, instead of just saying something that sounds nice and accepted and blah.. but then when people keep asking me "how's stanford?" it's so easy to just smile and say it's fun, it's great, ... the formulaic answer that i trot out whenever the same question comes. but then again it's also kinda ridiculous to go into great detail about how some parts are good and some aren't. or maybe that's called making conversation. i don't know. i guess i'm just too lazy to say so much.
but it also tells me that i haven't really thought properly about my year. i am really glad for the month before i go back. work really leaves you with no time to do anything. at least if u go to school (i.e. college) u can arrange ur classe so u have free days or days which start at 11 or something. but man, i'm almost halfway thru my internship.. need to stop slacking. but there is a limit as to how much one can read at once.
so, i think today marks the first time for a lot of things. the first time i'm early for work (imagine that! that is seriously amazing, especially given the time i got back home last night). the first time i spent SO much time slacking at work (okay it's just the 2nd week but still). the first time i came home for dinner (also in two weeks). sigh i miss my 20inch screen.
anyway. yeah. while on the bus home i was a very hungry and angry pig. 15mins to wait for a stupid bus! 171 is the bane of my life. and then like 1h journey to get home cos its peak hour and etc! unbelievably torturous sitting in a slow-moving, crowded bus while getting rather hungry. at least i did have a seat though, if not i'd be in an even worse mood.
but then today was one of the very rare times my mom cooked. and she cooked stuff i like so i guess it was sort of worth it. oh and it was so funny, i wearily (due to the lack of food and a very long and boring day at work) plodded up the stairs to the carpark and then saw this car trying to park. and then i decided it looked like our car (my brother was driving today, thus the necessity for us all to take the bus back) so i stood and watched. hehe. that silly pig.
this is what we spent 1 hour doing last friday after lunch.. 
guys at the back (left to right): weiye (Imperial), beng kheng (nus), eng kheng (nus), samrat (upenn), anand (LSE)
girls: shamantha (nus), jiunwen (jh's sis! going northwestern for phd), xinying (Imperial), tianai (coming to stanford for masters!), liyuan (nus), me, zhijia (LSE)
right actually now i can't remember if they're all from LSE or just from UK.. oops. [ah, I realized that weiye n xinying are frm Imperial:] but yeah, i'm the youngest. leetle clarissa. all of them are either going on to 3rd/4th year. and why everyone thinks i look like a lost puppy is a mystery to me. but then if i can gain sympathy with that i guess it's not necessarily a bad thing either huh? hah.
yay i finally have my jacket.. and i think it looks good! i wonder wat jason has been up to in thailand.. my partner in crime. haha. yf n jh were really nice about taking 171 home w me yesterday! heh. poor yf took like twice the normal time to get home i think. n jh had to change bus. actually it was quite funny, so he had to get off at the stop before 6th ave and it was pretty dark and he was like i'm scared (or something to that effect) and yf said he didn't have the looks or the body (i think, and in chinese), no need to worry. haha how comforting. the two of them are hilarious la.. pair of clowns. interesting how i wouldn't have gotten to know them as well otherwise.
they decided to buy me this ice cream called a panda smiley at black canyon coffee at platinum shopping center. on the condition that i take a photo with it. and here it is: