just back from a rather full day, although i think i did have a slight intention of getting a nap in the afternoon. anyhow. yay! i finally borrowed scores from music library. and was trying to play chopin's ballade and totally dying. this is why that is LRSM level i think. and boah asked if i wanted to go stanford shopping center with her so i did.. ended up spending the rest of the day out (and sleep deprived, sadly)
rhythms was pretty cool.. actually i wouldn't have gone, except for the fact that my roommate was performing and my dormmate too.. and talisman was singing (they should've sung more songs augh!) but then it turned out pretty good.. i really wasn't expecting to like indian dance/etc but i think i changed my mind. basmati raas n bhangra n hindi film dance were SO energetic. well not all of them, but still. quite amazing. something in common with yesterday's olympic finals. you can tell when someone's enjoying wat he/she's doing. for performance anyway.. they look really really happy.
and i wish they would stop going on and on about the "diversity in stanford" thing. i mean some things aren't meant to be said.. the more you talk about them the more obvious/forced and less natural it becomes. like, it's well and fine that it's so diverse around here but you don't have to keep calling attention to it. i feel like the fact that the show got sold out is a pretty good indication that diversity is appreciated. (of cos, there is the added incentive that westflo's tickets were heavily subsidized, but pple could've still chosen to not go).
decided i never post photos (besides those of sean's n joel's fridge) so here are some.
my roomie, emphasizing her height (i think she's like 30cm taller than me or sth)
monday's ski trip! yay~ as usual i'm the youngest. ok i guess it's not so "as usual", since all the american freshmen are one year younger than me. but well.
i decided i need to take more interesting photos. ohh! i must chase jackie for our roti prata cooking photos.
hmm. i really do think i'm going crazy. i just spent 4 hours sitting in my dorm lounge watching olympics women's figure skating (with some snowboarding and some freestyle skiing thrown in). and pple just started gathering until there were like 10+ pple sitting around. quite cool. maybe i say that cos i hardly go and hang around in the lounge hm.
anyway today was a gd day! somehow i couldn't sleep much, woke up at 7 and at 15min intervals thanks to my roommate's alarm. i guess i don't get so mad nowadays when i get woken up. more tolerance maybe? anyway the other day my ihum tf was saying freud's philosophy is basically that everything wrong with you can be blamed on ur parents. haha. so i think my original wrath at being woken up before it's time to do so comes from how my mom used to wake me up. although actually that isn't really "before it's time to wake up", i just didn't want to get up.
ok digressed. so, went for dance, and was rather lost at first cos they started club two-step on tues (which i didn't go for cos 1. i was finishing my ihum paper and 2. i figured i had enough fun on monday so better do my work 3. i was aching quite a bit). and i thought he'd spend quite some time reviewing steps and wat not, but that didn't happen. so i kinda figured it out along the way, thanks to the poor partners who had to suffer with my cluelessness. anyhow once i got the hang of it it was pretty fun! lalala. very relaxed and comfortable dance. one's partner makes such a difference sometimes.
so i was quite happy after that. didn't really want to go back to doing waltz, but oh well. for other pple to review for viennese ball tmr. then i had ihum, presented by two TFs. the first one was alright, the second one made more sense and was more organized. and then econ, where i got so bored and i wasn't listening properly. bit restless today also. oh i thought maybe it was the iced latte yesterday (first time i decided to try it i think, and i am never drinking coffee again). but i guess since i still don't want to sleep now although i really ought to, there has got to be something else.
uh. lunch w jackie. food wasn't great, they ran out of salmon grr. then voice class! ooh. was pretty satisfied today, i thought i heard some vibrato while i was singing my piece.. so that was pretty good. tcher was quite happy too (although sometimes i don't think she has v high standards since this is just a beginning class) and given that i actually don't actually practise the song, which i really should, but i know the tune and everything anyway. n she decided i could think about trying the cadenza at the end and i'm like . right. i don't really think i could do a high b flat. but we shall see. maybe if i sing properly i can. hehe.
didn't want to go for ihum section, but well. spent 1/2h watching lohengrin so that was more interesting than usual discussion.
was late to see my pwr teacher. i think he's really biased la, he keeps telling me my writing is v good and gave me an A for my rhetorical analysis which i don't even think i concluded properly -- he even wrote "why are the (last few) paragraphs so short?" (well i would think it's a bit obvious i ran out of time and couldn't finish properly right haha oops). -shrug- or maybe chuansheng's right, just high standards. anyhow i'm not complaining. so i was asking him if he got more sleep (esp since we had long weekend). and he said he went clubbing. and i'm like . right. so much for complaining u dont' get enough sleep. n he said when u're having fun it's different.. and he thinks SF clubs should open until at least 6am instead of 2am. -shakes head-
that was quite amusing. then i went for econ office hours. and was, at first, rather appalled that my TA walked in. cos the last time i tried going for his office hours i walked out after 15mins. but it all worked out and i finished my work. came back, had dinner, sat at the table listening to 2 of my dormmates and one of their friends (all black) discuss the black community in US/at stanford. interesting. i think these identity things only surface for minority races or something, like whites wouldn't be sitting around discussing wat other pple think of them or anyth.
alright. really really should sleep. -shakes head-. i think i'll take a nap tmr. or a few naps. haha.
ohh.. this weekend is parents' weekend. it's kinda cool seeing my dormmates' parents come in.. kinda wish my parents could come too. i think they would want to too. weather's been improving
ah. finally i have some time to slack. i'm sure there're somemore things i need to do (ie econ problem set) but i think that's about it yay! haha. i ended up slightly late for library workshop for pwr today cos i was finishing my paper. and i think my draft research proposal was really nonsensical but heck.. luckily i know enough about singlish to be able to crap my way through pretty fast. ahaha. and i also ended up crashing into someone while on my mad rush to green library. oops. but seriously, it's not my fault he was going so slowly. maybe i'm just making excuses. but anyway.
just came back from meeting psc officers. that was such a weird experience, one of the pple is a psc scholar who graduated frm uni in 2001. and i was trying to imagine other psc pple in his place, telling pple abt psc scholarship and etc, and i just couldn't. anyway i think i asked some slightly awkward questions. they were kind of sheepish when i asked how they got our emails, and asked if they should apologize. come to think of it, this is kind of like zuo4 zei2 xin1 xu1 right.. i mean if you got it in a proper way you wouldn't be feeling like you ought to apologize. ah. that's a gd point. haha. self-declared.
and i don't think i made a very good impression by telling them it wasn't fair to not back-pay and still have a bond of 6 years. haha. oops. but seriously, it's kind of a principle. even though he said it isn't like finaid, nothing to do with proportion, more about how 6 years is optimal to assess the ministry/let them assess you. or something like that. i suppose it depends how you look at it.
anyhow come to think of it, it's just interesting to think of friends/classmates as working in their respective fields. like the medicine people will end up doctors and etc.
anyway. monday! haha that was so awesome, definitely don't regret going. although at one point or other i was contemplating staying and just going for crossing the line at night. according to kiat they asked very personal questions abt race/religion/... but i think there weren't that many pple frm my dorm who went so just as well:p if it hadn't been up to expectations i'd just have been sad/annoyed.
and it really reminded me of gilroy trip; leaving at unearthly hours (4am, okay 4:15 since wenzheng overslept haha) before the sun rises and coming back after the sun sets (reached around 11:10pm). gilroy was like 5am to 8pm. but that's nearer and that's shopping. so quite different.
kirkwood was pretty different from squaw.. i guess since squaw was the site of winter olympics dunno how long ago, their stuff is sort of more centralized; there's a huge carpark in front of the resort. but the runs are so nice and huge. i guess it was less crowded cos it's a monday. and they have awesome college deals, it was that much cheaper.
and i was the only freshman (and probably the most inexperienced and therefore the slowest) so everyone had to wait for me. but they were so nice about it. sean was like my instructor for toe turns, which i'm still quite lousy at actually, but nvm. i bet it's the phobia of very bruised knees from the first time i snowboarded. haha. n when i got stuck on flat ground sean n wenzheng offered to pull me along haha. oh and i also realized how unfit i am (not that i was very fit to begin with la), after a couple of runs i was quite tired liao. yay for lunch:p
and weirdly enough i wasn't very hungry the entire day. maybe the granola bars are that good. haha. anyway by the time it was 4:30 and all the lifts had closed, i unclipped the snowboard and could hardly hobble downhill haha. sad case man. oh and i don't like their step-in snowboard, so difficult to step! anyway. i think every part of me which could ache was aching. as a rule i don't really mind aching, but when it's on this sort of scale it's not very fun. oh well.. am glad i got to go with them:)
i need LOADS of sleep tonight. not that i've been that sleep deprived since i made sure i got at least 7 hours the past two nights. but still. chionging papers and all. am so glad it's done. oh i had an extra french class just now cos there's no class nxt friday, ended up talking to her for an hour instead of 1/2hr. i think my brain stopped thinking in french after a while cos i just kept forgetting all the french words and she had to think instead of me:p to help translate. it's really interesting how sometimes i can just sort of "slip" into the french mode and speak more fluently than normal. unfortunately those times don't happen as often as i'd like them to.
shall watch figure skating finals tmr! at least, i think they're tmr hm. shall go and read the article chuansheng found on loving your job. i definitely need to read that. haha.
oh!! yesterday my RA decided to look for my house on google maps. and i actually found it! after quite some time though, haha. oops. anyway then he labelled it as "Where Clarissa lives (Baby Dinosaur Land)" grr. i was so indignant that i was the only one with weird labels (the others were like "maggie's house" "amparo's house".
ow. am feeling rather battered. just back from snowboarding! that was so fun.. albeit my super-aches now. actually sometimes i like aches cos it means i've been using muscles but well, if it's overdone, definitely not a good thing. i wonder how i'm going to get out of bed tmr. maybe like daryl after his two days at heavenly; "i had to roll out of bed". rofl. just that the bed height isn't very good for rolling. anyway. IHUM!! aahh. will talk abt today later.
just got back from talking to zhihui about rgs.. she's doing some project on good schools and decided to focus on RG! so rg pple reading this i'm probably gonna ask you guys to help fill up this questionnaire thingy haha. anyway. it was a rather strange journey. back to 4 - 8 years ago. and when she asked me what was my most hated lesson.. i was like ok i need to list my classes to remember.. so while listing.. i came to "math" under lower sec and sharon lee popped up in my mind. strangely enough I can't remember what exactly it was that made her hate us/us hate her. need to go home and read my diary again if i didn't throw it away hm. although i guess some things are best forgotten anyway.
and i realized i'd forgotten so much. it's all become a huge jumble, i can't differentiate between what happened in rg/rj, ... or like what camps we had for class/cca/psl/sec1/... rather melancholic to think that i'll probably forget even more as i get older. in fact i think before coming i already had a sense of that. how you meet pple in different stages of your life but you move on and so do they and sometimes you never meet again.
wow okay i'm like pushing myself deeper into "the abyss of my mind" (frm ihum section yesterday). but it's such a gloomy day anyhow. i was utterly miserable cycling to wilbur in the rain and then wang ning and the rest of the guys decided i needed more and waved today's stanford daily at me. 5.75% hike in tuition fees for nxt year, yay! well done.. i better suck up to those two pple coming on wed, like wang ning suggested. blah.
i hate cold rainy days. and i want to eat something now but i can't cos we're going out for dinner at cheesecake factory. ahh. i also need a thesis statement for ihum. boo. feeling very lethargic. not that i'm rarely otherwise. hah. haven't been sleeping properly lately, i dunno why. like i'll wake up at weird times and readjust my comforter. or i can't fall asleep. boohoo.
i am so nonplussed. i just went for my pwr conference with my teacher and expected to get scolded for
1. lousy texts: we were supposed to choose 2 main texts to analyze and 5 supporting texts, and these 5 texts I kind of found like the day before the draft was due, and all from the internet (which he expressly talked about in class on wed, saying that he would have to talk to some of us cos some pple used solely internet texts, in which my guilty conscience immediately decided I was going to be in trouble
2. sloppy work: i did the rhetorical analysis part in chunks first cos i had no idea what a contextual analysis involving rhetorical analysis was supposed to be. so on wednesday night i had 3 pages worth of that. and was still searching for the other 5 texts, I might add. even though I had a vague idea of what to use. so thursday night I spent doing.. and friday.. at intervals chuansheng would be asking whether i'd finished yet and of cos not.. and i was so aghast when one of my peer review grpmates sent us her draft at like 11am on friday. (the deadline was 5pm) and at 5 i was just at my last paragraph. man. that was so nightmarish.
and then the first thing he says is "yr paper is so gd i have nothing to say". and i'm like. erps. "i don't believe that" and he laughed and said ok let's look at your texts (ie the biblio). so i was like, ooh, first scolding (although actually he's not very gd at scolding in real life, which is gd i guess). but apparently he thought they were alright so -shrug-
so we get to my paper. and he's like, really, I don't have much to say about it, you write very well (or something to that effect). and i'm like i didn't think it was a very gd draft and he asks why. in which i inform him of my total (almost anyway) cluelessness of what a contextual analysis is supposed to be. and he laughs his head off and after having finished laughing, asks if i read his outline on the assignment. grr. of cos i did but it's not my fault if even though the outline is helpful, it still doesn't tell me what a contextual analysis does! anyway... i don't know why everyone laughs at things i say. my roomie (and other dormmates) are often very amused at me. i suppose ignorance is bliss.
oh.. here's another picture of sean's and joel's fridge. (since sean asked me if it was going to make it onto the blog). but i told him even pictures of very filled fridges (i came back from ihum section to marvel at the prodigious amount that the two of them eat) get boring. so. time to await more exciting pics!
and i need to get back to my french presentation on "la fete de la musique". it's a really cool topic though. and i think God planned it so i really wouldn't die this week.. if i had contextual analysis due tmr i'll be dead. not that i'm glad my pwr tcher was sick but well.. anyhow this weekend I have to work hard!
i think i had a far slacker weekend than it should have been. question mark there though. yesterday i skipped melody, figured i could use the extra couple of hours. but then i ended up going to sean's n joel's hse for dinner.. it was so interesting watching joel cook. and it was quite hilarious cos i took so long to do things tt joel decided he'd better do them if not we'd never get any dinner. reminds me of my zoo days. anyhow i did the dishes (so many plates/saucepans/pots! guess why? so much food!!) and they decided tt upped my cool quotient (although i'm sure suaning them didn't help haha)
anyway the amount of food totally reminded me of french immersion. start with soup/appetizer, main course, cheese, dessert, ... ... and my host family was wondering why i didn't eat much. good old days, when cheukka swept cookie crumbs under her bed and decided they didn't exist anymore since they were out of sight. and i actually agree with her about old hands now! but i don't think either she/kai-lyn/yun lei will be reading this sigh. dry hands look old! eek.
and then i had screw ur roommate at night.. kind of a pity tt the original guy my roommate set me up with couldn't make it. he's taking the pwr that i wanted! and it would've been interesting. but anyway it was still fun~ i haven't bowled in ages.. and the ball just got heavier and heavier throughout the night haha. disco bowling. dim lights and disco ball. and the music was so terrible.. off-pitch pple yelling into the mics.. man. i thought i'd end up deaf. and with a sore throat cos i had to shout to be heard over the music. apparently no one else has that problem, probably cos they're all so loud to begin with anyway. it's true!
so when i came back i immediately set about downing a gallon of water. which ended up in me visiting the bathroom at 5am or sth. wat to do. and i still sounded a little weird in the morning. but oh well. oh! my cool story of the night: first throw (or watever u call it), 9 pins down. left 1. and while i was going to do my 2nd shot, atiqah called. so i was like talking to her while bowling and somehow, very miraculously, the last pin fell! ahahaha. should've videoed it.
anyhow. and yes today is a momentous day because we managed to get to church before the first song! i think we've done it once before but i can't remember when. but anyway. landmark occasion.
sadly i had to rush back for IHUM mozart performance (for that 1% extra credit) so no lunch. i so wanted jap food! oh well. next week. :)
ohhh yes i finally closed my suitcase. but that horrible dormmate insists that i still look like i just have to pop a toothbrush in and then i'm ready to go, just grab the suitcase and leave. i contend that it's under the bed, nobody's going to see that.
i feel so cheated about my pwr peer review letters. first of all it's so silly cos none of us really know what a contextual analysis is supposed to be like, so how to critique other pple's work?? and then while i'm struggling to fit my letters into one page, my grp members have just like 3/4 page (and without changing the margins) i am very bitter. like here i am spending time analysing your work and you're not being very helpful with mine. but again since we're all not sure how it's supposed to be like it's also kind of hard to suggest stuff.. ah watever.
must mug econ
thursday night:
hmm. i am rather amused. my roomie has just informed me that last night when one of our dormmates came running to our room and yelling about something or other i sat up and glared at her like i was going to kill her. quote her "i was really scared of you" (or something to that effect). hmm. and i don't remember doing that actually. just goes to show how incensed i can be when unfairly awoken. ahaha. or maybe my subconscious taking over since i'm not overtly emotional in real life. even though i must admit there were times when my roomie's alarm clock would go off multiple times (and for at least 3mins each time) and i felt like screaming at her.
i'm so thankful for lovely singaporean upperclassmen. last quarter when i blogged about how awful i was feeling shineik'd talk to me about it.. yesterday i realized how unprepared i was for the next week (and for tmr; 6-8 page pwr paper of which i had 1 paragraph written and no idea how to go about writing the rest of it) and was rather despondent so sean was trying to cheer me up. and then i was telling ruixiong about how my econ 50 prof is new so we don't have practice midterms (okay we have one from last year but that's it) and he offered to lend me his notes and when i came back from a very long day (8:45 to 6) i found a whole stack of notes under my door and before realizing it was his notes i was wondering why someone dumped so much stuff there. hehe. and tonight [friday night] sean and joel were out and got krispy kreme for us. well even though i didn't get to eat cos i didn't pick up my phone cos i was in mixed co (acappella) concert it was still really nice of them:) wow my sentences seem to be really long today, must be the last-minute chionging of a 6 page paper.
and anyway i had ihum section reunion dinner so that equals good food and gelato! although i still think venezia gelato is better.. -shrugs- maybe cos that's the first gelato i ate. hm. yeah. and theirs isn't so creamy.. maybe i'm just deceived by their 99% non fat or watever the sign is haha.
now i need to decide on what to present on with regard to french culture. and decide if i should go for the mozart concert on sunday and get 1% extra credit for ihum or go for lunch. haha. i can already hear it "are you a true sporean or not?" (which is what jackie asked me when we were still eating at 8 and bon bon ball swing class started: dance or food? heh) but actually sporeans are also kiasu wat.. besides being great food lovers. bah.
right. since i've slacked since 5:30 till now (10:30) i should go something productive.
i'm bored and i don't feel like doing my work. even though i know jolly well i ought to be doing my work now so i don't die next week. ahh. and if i manage to finish fast i might even be able to go snowboarding (if they do go). ahh! sigh. i figured yesterday was cos i was pretty much trying to do work from 2.30pm to 12.30. or something like that. haha. trying is the word though.
and if i sit at my desk i'm just tempted to eat. and eat. and eat. :(
today's dance was fun though, sth to do with viennese ball or something.
okay well i didn't finish that yesterday so. i am SO pissed off at cingular. the past however many times i've called them to ask sth about my bill, it was just fine. and today, this guy decides that oh, since i don't have an ssn, i need a password before they can access my account and answer my questions. i.e., i'm supposed to go down to a cingular store and get one. how stupid is that? and they've been taxing me for some spastic thing which i don't even know; the last time i asked, the guy was like, oh, it's govt taxes, we don't know anything about it. maybe i just shouldn't bother so much and just pay it. freaking annoying though.
just read val's blog. she always sounds so happy it's really amazing.. maybe cos i only blog when i'm not particularly happy haha. come to think of it it's probably true that when i'm happy i won't be blogging. oh well.
under sean's persuasion i ended up in glen's house watching the 2nd and 3rd quarters of superbowl. it was certainly interesting though, given i'd only watched the big game since i've gotten here. it's really different watching top teams play. at least there's more action. and more skill. haha. and lisa fetched me back! oh and joel fetched me there! yay for them.. oh lunch at korean house was quite hilarious, with various stories of microwaving/cooking attempts.
my mom has a tendency to remind me of things i'd rather not think about. so i'm supposed to come here and become a totally different person. how possible is that anyway? maybe i'm supposed to develop two identities or something. although she's right, one doesn't spend $300 k to come here and do the same stuff one could do back at home. it's so easy to slip back into old ways though. in every aspect.
oh a few more amusing things: one of the spore-stanford exchange students who went to church today thought i was sean's sister cos "i look so young". rofl. i don't think sean was very flattered. but i told him he's almost my bro's age anyway. haha. even though that wasn't the point.
last night my mom called and my bro talked to me for a bit. told me "papa has two new pets, he's busy playing with them now".
me, mystified, "what pets?"
bro "two crabs"
clar is rather amused. normally my dad likes buying electronic gadgets of sorts so i thought it was some other new toy but i suppose that couldn't be a pet. though for a moment my mind conjured up an image of tortoises or something, i dunno why.
me "how's he playing with them?"
bro/mom in the background "he puts some water (in the bucket) and prods them so they move"
rofl. and they're gonna eat them tonight.
reminds me of my dormmate telling me how my roomie held a hello panda, exclaimed "so cute!" and happily popped it into her mouth.
just back from church (and lunch at korean house) today. haha we arrived at the 6th song, sadly. woke up at 7:30 originally but i decided a couple more minutes in my nice warm bed would be good, but it ended up half an hour. and coincidentally enough sean just woke up too. oh well. so much for our resolve to get there for the first song. haha.
friday was a really nice day. i actually decided to carry out my intention of exercising (well, sort of anyway) and go visit the athletic center(s). the buildings look really nice. maybe i'll go climb the rockwall next week heh. and i visited the barn! cos it was such a nice sunny day. it's pretty far away.. past frosoco and the tennis courts. but it's really pretty. and i haven't seen horses in so long. saw jane there but unfortunately she'd finished riding for the day. oh well. another time!
saturday. i don't think i got that much work done. was trying to nap but wasn't particularly successful hmm. anyway, jackie insisted that i go over to her place and cook roti prata (surprise surprise) and rice and lap cheong (not that i like this very much but well). before that we went to get cheesecake (yum!!!) and were trying to find eggs so she could have her omelette and me my half-boiled egg but they only sold it in dozens so too bad. no way am i going to cook multiple times over the next week. ahaha. our cooking adventure was really interesting/fun though. the crazy light in the kitchennette kept going off so while we were frying the prata it'd suddenly get dark and we had to jump around to get the light to switch on again.. but the prata was really good. only thing: no sugar/curry (sigh).
rice also turned out pretty well, considering that i haven't steamed rice in more than like 4 years since our last home econs class in rg. ahaha. nor have i hung out in the kitchen to watch my mom cook (actually come to think of it she doesn't cook very often anyway).
bon bon ball was interesting. very crowded though. and i wish we learnt more dances/steps. but well, it's only been four weeks, guess it won't do to be too demanding. i want to learn so many things i'll despair of ever graduating if i take all the classes here. heh. all the languages and the instruments and the dances. okay i just realized they're all artsy.
man i think daryl's right. i may have to skip dinner. ah but i know i won't.. i shall just have to make sure i eat less. these buffet things.. i must develop more self control. of course, it doesn't help that i have an open pack of m&m's on my table and i keep popping some into my mouth.
i'm in such a weird mood tonight. wonder why. i think i got affected by my roomie or sth. hmm. well anyway like i was telling dayoung just now, i like my french conversation course cos it allows me to learn stuff without being tested on it. i mean, i like finding out stuff (about France and in general) and reading on my own but i think i wouldn't like it as much if i had to mug it and do exams. maybe i just need to read on my own but no discipline there haha.
yay i just called adeline on an impulse. the lag was kinda bad but it was fun:) okay i'm sure i had more to say but i forgot so it shall have to wait until i remember.
oh i remembered. i often feel very battered by the end of the day. actually, more like by somewhere btwn dinner time and bedtime. must sleep to recharge and get up feeling optimistic/better. kinda queer hmm.
i had such an eventful weekend. heh. hardly got any work done. yay for me huh.. luckily this week i don't have anything due so YAY!! haha. though i have to start preparing for hell week (for me anyway) aka week of 13 to 17 feb. i hope my pwr paper is really decent sigh.. i tried.
okay i was just starting to type abt friday and i realized i described that already. but suddenly i don't feel like blogging anymore so i guess i shall stop. haha. oh wait i just remembered wat it was that i had to say. change of mind again.
saturday was cny dinner at hotpot city with sporeans.. milpitas rocks! haha. not that i like steamboat very much. but that place has a lot of gd food. and also ranch 99, our favourite supermarket:) ladida. so the grad students went there too.. was cool.. saw sean and kevin again.. they're always so funny. and met dayoung's friend emily! actually i thought she was a grad student or sth haha. oops. but she's pretty.. and quite tall.. and on the ballroom dance team! funky.. and very sociable.
so anyway. wesley drove us back and somewhere on the way decided to stop for krispy kreme (yeahhh:) and treated us! ahaha. ok i'm jumping ahead. so while we were on the way back.. we finally realized why wesley has a reputation for reckless driving -ahem-. it was raining and the turning off rengstroff ave was pretty sharp and he was driving at full speed la.. so of cos we went off the road. but luckily didn't get into accident. it was definitely scary enough though.
the conversations that ensued were very interesting. different group dynamics i guess. and two upperclassmen i've hardly talked to. so that was really interesting. wesley and jon phua and jon aow and chuan sheng. they were talking about financial markets/singapore/how gep is rigged with a control group/cs/army/many many things. and when we went to visit jon at his row house after that there was this discussion abt how pple at stanford are good at everyth and excellent in something. i've yet to discover what i'm excellent in, hmm. i should really go ask the admission office why they admitted me. but anyway, tales of expert hackers/swimmers/dunno who else.
and they're pretty competitive i think. talking about gpas/courses/... and the way they were talking about it.. woah. nothing but excellence/high standards. i think i slacked off quite a bit this quarter, i bet this is sean's fault/influence. rofl. that's right, clar, blame it on other pple. ah i'll figure it out.
okay oh.. having gotten less than 5 hours of sleep on sat night, i decided to take a nap just now. so i woke up, saw it was 4pm, and was thinking i must've slept really deeply to be not woken up by my alarm/sean's call. i was under the impression i'd slept from 2.45am to 4pm and hadn't gone to church, even though i'd been to church AND lunch AND grocery(snack) shopping and came back. then i realized otherwise. really interesting man.. i must've been reorganizing my mind or something while asleep.
started typing this last night but was too lazy to finish writing:
just got back from going with the grad students/seniors to wish ailin happy birthday. they're such a hilarious bunch.. guess it's cos of all the shared experiences.. and they're really nice people too. i always laugh a lot when with them. or maybe it's just sean and joel cos they're so ridiculous. hmm. sunday lunches. heh. i wonder where we're going tmr. the whole group has such a nice chemistry. my impression anyway.
so yesterday.. bulk of it was spent revising my pwr paper. i think it was really quite bad in the end actually. sigh. maybe i should have foregone more sleep. somehow i feel like this quarter i'm becoming more slack. which is like, woah, even worse. must be the influence of =some= pple.. this is not gd. i mean, come on, i wrote the last page of my paper in like five minutes.. really terrible. cos it was already after 5pm. blah. hopefully i can pull it up with the rest of the stuff, augh.
dinner w roomie and dormmates at lag. they had malaysian food. hmm. i don't really think it was that authentic but it was alright.. and went with them to black auction (where pple go up and put on a show/act and let pple bid to date them. something like that anyway.. proceeds go to some charity or other). that was certainly interesting.
then i was thinking of taking marguerite to wilbur to see joel displaying his legendary skill at table tennis. unfortunately, no bus in sight for like 10 mins so i decided to walk. which ended up a gd idea:D although i didn't know it at that time. so i watched them for a bit then went to visit dayoung across the road. she was really hospitable, offering me their guest chair and biscuits (yum!) and orange juice. and then joel called to say they were going to wish ailin happy bday so okay! let's go!
it was so funny cos the surprise was ruined inadvertently. kevin wanted to go to the toilet and it -just- so happened that ailin went at the same time (sigh) and saw all of us. really hilarious.. she was telling us she saw kevin and a bunch of pple and was thinking "don't i know those people?" rofl.
lisa was saying how unsubtle we were in arriving at ailin's lab.. all the cars zoom in with headlights and park next to each other.. i can't remember if it was sean/joel/kevin who said that it's like those gangster scenes with the cars.. rofl. and that when they drove to escondido turnaround to fetch pple they also all pulled in like -zoom-.. it's just the image.. i was so bewildered as to what was happening cos i didn't know who was driving and joel was like "just get into any car!" so i went w kevin. and after that wenzheng fetched me n ruixiong back.
on a side note, after ihum section one day i realised i have an interesting way of needing to classify pple under two categories (whether i like them or not) and then deciding my attitude towards them. hmm. it's not exactly a very gd idea cos first impressions aren't always all that accurate. and even then. well. okay time to listen to mr brown (zhng my car!) and do econ haha.
i can't figure out why i'm so restless today.. i haven't felt like doing work the entire day, and it's not like i got that much stuff done. and i kept procrastinating and wanting to watch my show (which is finally downloaded but the subtitles don't work! bah). anyway boah and dayoung came for church today, which was cool. but we were very very late. -shakes head-
yeah, i was (am) definitely in a really weird mood today. can't seem to get anything much done. except pwr peer reviews (yeah..) which are done yay! i was just telling my roommate i think i prefer pwr to ihum papers. i guess they're both analysis but of a different sort. i have a LOT of trouble coming up with thesis statements for ihum somehow. or maybe that's cos i'm not sure what a pwr paper is really supposed to be like, having only done a draft. anyway so as usual i have no thesis statement for a pwr paper which is due on tuesday at 10. sigh.
i really have no idea if i can find something good to do during summer. i hate all these thinking-about-jobs/careers things. i've had the wildest imaginations sometimes, which definitely aren't going to be practical. but that isn't going to help. and i also have to think about how i'm going to earn back S$300k. sometimes i still can't believe i'm a uni student. and that i'm older than most of the other freshmen and even some of the sophomores. but who am i to talk anyway, what about the finished-ns guys. oh well.
i'm really glad my mondays aren't so sucky as in fall quarter. i think fall quarter i had ihum on mon wed so that was really bad haha. hum. anyway, so sometimes i still can't believe i'm here and this is college. very weird. i'm sure there's a word to describe this in psychological terms or something but watever.
oh i went out with the pple on my floor for dinner on friday! yay. that was cool. although the group was so huge.. hmm. and i was in this car with two couples, which was kinda weird. and saturday it was so miserable cos it was drizzly and COLD. okay, people like chris who laughed at jane for wearing a scarf are going to laugh at me too, but -boo- i wasn't attired properly okay. today was a beautiful day though:)
oh. i remembered something from winter break. lyd said i used to laugh more. and i think the same goes for her. but then i also remember reading this article which says that pple always look back on the past and say things used to be better then. i think it's true that everything on retrospect has a much rosier glow than when you're in the situation.
anyway. i think i might actually like pwr better than ihum. or maybe i'm already predisposed to hating ihum. esp writing papers. they are the bane of my life cos i can never think of a satisfactory thesis statement. i seem to have a complex about ihum. i hate the prof's constant use of literary words which are incomprehensible. but at least i'm not the only one who finds him fast.
i have very violent tendencies when awakened by my roommate's alarm, i find. last week she was really good at getting up. these few days... i really felt like killing her. i can't remember which day was the worst but today her alarm was set for 6.30 and she didn't want to get up. at least it didn't ring like 8 times or something, but i was in constant fear that it was going to be.
so. i shall take a nap. i sometimes regret doing social dance, 8.45am class is really unearthly even though it's fun (to an extent, depending on the partner and my clarity of mind). i think God didn't let me get my 9am pwr class for a reason. i probably would have killed myself by now if i had to wake up at 8 everyday.
oh! and chris and her cornell friends (yingyi huangyu zhi ern and i'm not sure how to spell the last guy's name) came down yesterday! i'm glad the weather was quite alright haha. although it rained at night. i also don't think i was a very good guide, oops. oh well. and it was so funny when chris decidedly told me that cornell squirrels were fatter. cos it's too cold. anyway, they're a nice bunch and i got to see chris;) sigh i don't want to grow up.
i fully intended to blog before the end of last week. oh well. circumstances weren't favourable. and i forgot what i was going to talk about. so well. oh one thing interested about mid-year convocation for freshmen: they got people (juniors and seniors) to talk about what they went through in freshman year. and then it was all about flunking tests really badly and stuff, and not spending enough time studying. it's so ironic cos if we were to have the same type of thing in singapore, it would be more like "don't spend all your time studying, go and do other stuff" or something like that. or maybe it's just cos this is uni and ccas are really up-to-you.
back from ski trip this morning! the journeying was awful; i could have taken a flight to korea in the time that we took to get to tahoe on saturday. but i'm so thankful that i didn't choose to buy half day ski ticket on saturday cos we got there at like 9pm. and the conditions were terrible, according to those who went. and sunday was so beautiful. i'm also very glad i got to hang out with those paloma pple.. pretty cool. and i wouldn't have thought about going down the mountain run (which is like intermediate) if i hadn't gone with them. actually i think it was ken's idea. anyway, it was crazily steep at some points (and my toe-turn still isn't very good but well) but i think i managed pretty well on the whole!:) esp since it's just my second time snowboarding (the last time was in 01). interesting how i seem to balance better when i stuff my hands into my pocket. maybe that restricts my hands from flailing around or something. but well, keeps me warm too so i'm not complaining.
was also kind of amazing how people go skiing/snowboarding without appropriate pants/gloves.. i'd be scared to do stuff like that cos i'll freeze but i guess i've had the fortune to ski before so i kinda know. oh well. and i'm also so thankful for my bro's ski goggles.. the sun was so bright. am aching rather a bit now though. but it was so fun:) nice to see snow again too.. i'm glad it snowed on the way there and not while we were snowboarding:)
so i think i've finally settled my classes, hope the french class won't be too hard. heh.
flying on sunday after all! yay.. God really provides. it was really rather amazing, cos yesterday I gave up hope and emailed yin nah to ask her to fetch me on saturday, and then this morning my uncle said there was space for me yippee~ also rather amazing the way I got my flights in progression. first it was sq on 6th jan 5pm, then 7th jan 9am, then 7th jan 5pm, then finally the flight i wanted. kinda weird cos when we were leaving for the first time i didn't want to leave on sunday, preferred saturday. and now it's the other way round. ah well.
i must also figure out how to get rid of the dvd i have so boah can get me the limited edition from korea. haha. darn. she's really sweet about it though. this is why US return policy is good, normally it's like 45 days with receipt. and kino is 7 day exchange policy. sad case.
it's been a mad rush! okay not really, but packed enough. tuesday met junming for lunch.. catching up was good.. and met yingling and anna in wisma! pleasant surprise no. 1:) after that i was walking along shaw underpass and met chris and estelle and engsiang! pleasant surprise no. 2:) it's rather hard to bump into people at stanford, and even if i do they're not necessarily people i know well, so i guess it's doubly pleasant now heh.
was supposed to cut hair on wed but shop was closed, so bummed around at home. oh.. made konnyaku jelly and my favourite fried dumplings! munch munch munch. yesterday went to novena sq to eat with christine and rachel. i have no idea why when i come back people like asking me if i'm attached. well it happened at least thrice so i figure that's substantial enough. haha.
anyway it was fun, and also interesting to retrace the familiar walk to the learning lab. really nothing changes. christine was so cute about the card, made the little snowmen stand up and was telling me excitedly "they're double-sided!" and she drew them herself. which is even more amazing cos they're really kinda small (and hard to draw & cut, i conclude)
went shopping and had some problems carrying her present around until i bought stuff at john little's.. the sale is quite crazy. but it's nice to get good bargains. and as usual i was inflicted with indecision and had to come back later to buy track pants/bedsheet. which wasn't such a good idea, cos by the time i went back it was peak hour so all the working people were buying stuff. ah well.
oh yes it's so annoying to walk about orchard and have people approach you and ask you to 1. donate 2. buy things 3. fill up surveys about something or other. why can't they leave us alone.. ugh.
i finally cut my hair today. my head suddenly feels very light. but again i go through this practically every year, or every two years. heh. and he decided to spray some colour so now i have golden-brown-ish hair! hmmm. oh well. it'll wash off tonight anyway.
how can you miss something that's right in front of you?
ahh. i have five days left here and i don't want to go back again. i'm like missing home in advance. it's so nice to have accessibility to town and different parts of spore. and to have good food. although truth be told i think america's desserts are better, today's andersen's ice cream somehow wasn't as nice as like.. coldstone's. haha. but of cos coldstone's is one of the best so that probably isn't a very fair comparison.
i have no idea how i managed to go out of the house without a wallet today, but thankfully i had $10 in my bag. sad case man. anyway. yes. it is when time runs out that one starts panicking. my french is still half baked! (here i remember my dormmate ed's wise words, although in the different context of me trying to finish my ihum paper,: in a couple of hours it'll be fully baked!)
and i still need to meet pple, and to shop and buy stuff - the shopping part is easy, the buying isn't. suddenly there isn't enough time again. sigh.
so, back to missing home in advance. i can already see myself back in my dorm and getting bored. and missing pple and all. ahhhh. human psychology; reverse psychology. actually i'm not even sure if that's the right word. wanting things you can't have? okay it's time for bed.
after blog surfing i decided it's time for reflections on 2005. time really flies.. partly realise it when i have to move to different classes in church heh. teenagers class was from sec 1 to 4, then young adults class jc 1 - last year, and now we decided to crash the foundation class, which is really for young christians but nvm.
anyway it doesn't feel like a year since we finished A's. i mean i suppose if i did go think about what i've done since then, it has been a year. but other than that, nah. and it's also weird starting school in late sept. heh. it always seemed so right that with the start of a new year, a new school year starts too.
so.. after the mad rush of uni apps and holidaying in sydney, came back to a job! thanks to my aunt.. first taste of how boring working life is, how i felt so cooped up in an office 9 - 5. 9 - 6 to be accurate. so that was january. i actually became rather attached to the place, i can't imagine why, given that the work was so boring, but well. i guess i kinda got to know some of them better nearer the end.
february was chinese new year and slacking around at home, waking up late. CNY, wondering if next year i'd get to miss it. i don't like CNY cos we're not very close to my dad's relatives so it's kind of a chore meeting them. actually it isn't that bad, i did talk to my girl cousins a couple of times. but i still don't like it anyway.
march was results. heh. what a way to open the month. but it was nice to see everyone again. and results were alright, thanks be to God! and relief teaching at RJ.. man.. i'll never forget denise's class. they left me really speechless. not that i normally have a lot to say to begin with, but that was definitely an experience. and the zoo. haha. also definitely another experience.
april was US uni results. another way to open the month. i know i was in a very very bad mood on friday (1st apr) cos i wasn't getting into places i wanted to go. and it didn't help that i was stuck at work at ubi the entire day. but i woke up on saturday to ser's sms and switched on my computer and opened my mailbox to an email i couldn't believe. i really thank God for his blessings. and am thankful that I still could go without a scholarship, even though this is definitely not a very ideal state of affairs.
and there was choir concert, which was cool. and started teaching at NJ. there's another new experience, teaching GP was never something I envisioned myself doing.
may. mid-may, ended my teaching (YEAH..) and flew off to Boston for brother's graduation. i found myself wondering how he could uproot himself from 4 years' worth of living there. but i guess there wasn't really a choice. and also wondering why most of his friends were asian. but now i know.
june. came back in 2nd week of june, left a couple of days later for church camp. that was fun.. i'm so glad i got to know church pple better.. it's amazing (in a bad way) how i got through so many years without talking to them very much. unfortunately i'm very capable of doing such things. hmm. nvm. at least that's addressed.
july. started with learning lab. one of the most interesting things i've ever come across.. and working with younger people was nice for a change. okay well relief teaching would sort of come under that category, but it's kind of different somehow. anyway i was kind of bored until i started annoying rachel, i can't remember when i started that actually but well.
august. also spent in learning lab. besides annoying rachel, there was christine too. although i can't remember when i started that either. and then people started leaving one by one.. i think i was really excited when i saw them online and asked them about how life was. but when it was my turn and i had to tell other pple about how my life was, it wasn't so fun. haha.
september. end of job and crazy times.. shopping consecutive days, meeting pple, ... and that eventful day before i left, spent in sentosa and dinner w my grandpa. so tired i hardly wanted to pack. and the night before i left, when i was near hysterical cos i was so afraid of what i was getting myself into and i had to come online and whine at ser, who did a pretty gd job of counseling me i think;) and then stanford.. a whole new experience.
october. second week of classes, still slacking around, thinking i was very free, and then that first ihum paper which i wrote in two days. i don't think i've ever felt so desperate in my life. well subsequent papers did bring on the same feeling, albeit less intense, but that was still the first time. which was the worst. oh and of cos, birthday! haha. day was rather uneventful but dinner was fun!
november. big game and thanksgiving week. i never want to watch another football game. heh. thanksgiving week = catching up on sleep, getting a bike (finally! the way i can survive without things there is amazing) corteo!!! ahh. and gilroy.
december. end of quarter, where has time gone? dead week with primal scream every night, finals, and time to come home! yay. i like being home. but all the same, it's time to go back and conquer the world. okay i have no idea why i put that last bit in, it just sounded nice. sometimes i wonder how to refer to stanford. "stanford"? "california"? "back there"? heh. more like second home or something. i wonder.
it's been a really interesting year though. hope this year'll be better!