haha yayyy i finally got to sleep a loooong time today:D let's see.. i think it was around 11hours. i was going to take a short nap last night and wake up to watch the arts central show at 10pm about smart animals but felt too tired. and actually i woke up at 7sth (i think for a moment, i thought it was a working day) then i realised it's saturday! if i wake up early today i won't get many chances to wake up late so i'd better make full use of it.. refused to get up and back to sleep i went:D yay. i haven't gotten the chance to sleep late in like.. at least 2 weeks.
and also the first saturday in a loong while that i get to laze around at home. whee~
ahh. i was clearing out msgs in my phone yest and realised i should really get down to finishing that quote compilation: haha. i am such a procrastinator. i think it's cos of the magnitude of the thing.. i'm so glad it's the weekend.. so sleepy every day. and working, no matter how, gets mundane.
though today we had a fun time laughing over oral pictures:D actually i didn't realise the train was heading towards the restaurant (with no tracks, i might add) until johann pointed it out. then we started looking for mistakes. and it was hilarious! haha.. got to amuse jane n lesley n rachel n debbie. and rachel is mad.. first she threatened to squeeze me (more like wring me) if i didn't shelve the books properly. then later she called me a pink piggie (or sth like that) cos i was wearing a red-pink shirt today. right. and she keeps accusing me of being v free/slacking. which i admit i do, but really, one doesn't have to point it out. anyway it's fun to annoy rachel:p
i think i figured out why i was a little scared of the eru pple. most of them are taller than me! bleah. i mean, it was an unconscious thing and i only thought about it and realised it just now. but i think that's just a small part of it. really depends.
looking foward to next week! two meet-ups:) and holidayyy!! haha.. i must watch charlie n the choc factory soon. i can't figure out what some parts of the reviews meant.. so johnny depp's acting was lousy? that's sad.. i think i shall have to wait and see for myself. time to go read my newly-koped books! i think tuesdays with morrie is much better than five pple in heaven.. maybe cos it deals with deeper issues wrt life and death.
ahh. i'm looking forward to nxt week.. got holiday! haha. and finally more time to sleep. i hope. today step groove/soul was fun:) the rhythm! nice beat..
work is fun when i can annoy rachel in the library.. haha.. just goes to show 1st impressions are sometimes erroneous. somehow i thought she wasn't that friendly but well.. proven wrong, happily:) on the other hand it's not gd to be proven wrong sometimes though (i.e. think someone's nice and find out otherwise)
today's lunch was gd! and then sitting in at johann's farewell lunch.. ml is really hilarious.. i think her classes must be loads of fun.. she has a very nice voice. and lcn too. and i still can't help laughing when i think abt jc telling tchers to warn their kids about large vans (bcos the compo for p2s was about this stranger tailing a lil girl, and large vans are usually involved in kidnapping cases). and then dg said, sarcastically and solemnly, (jc wasn't at meeting) "stay away from large vans.. even if your father drives one.." rofl
okay i just finished reading tuesdays with morrie. frankly, when I read the synopsis, I thought I wasn't going to like it because, why would I want to read a book about a dying prof and a student? okay, ex-student. in any case, I found that it was a rather powerful book. but when I was thinking about it, I couldn't really remember the things that morrie said? although when I was reading the book, they sounded sensible.
heh sometimes it's so hard to verbalise feelings. anyway, later i was thinking about what i could remember from the book that made a lot of sense to me. but it's mostly things like love and relationships are impt, our culture doesn't make us feel gd/help us to be more human. but it's humans who make up culture isn't it?
and things like, appreciating small things. when i think about it (and i read the bad reviews on amazon too, haha) a lot of the things there are really quite cliched, i think it's the story woven in that makes a difference.
or maybe it just meant more to me coming on the heels of reading that book about communication. and it does help one view death with less fear and more determination to do something about one's life. just that as usual, i think i'll forget everything.. something bad about me. i tend to gloss over things very fast. e.g. sleep and wake up and hey presto! all worries (and any other resolutions) gone.
but yes, there is much to be said about living a life that you believe in. which hitherto i doubt many people have been doing. the same way it's easier to stay here than go off to study, it's easier to just pretend everything's fine and do normal routine stuff than pursue wat you really want. again, that's been said so many times but hard to do.
i don't know why i'm so tired today. i kept yawning and yawning throughout the day.. and during meeting as well. although that happens once or so the past few meetings, today it was definitely more than that.
arrh i just opened another explorer window to do something and i forgot wat it was! bah.
i have decided one thing gd abt tll is that i get to kope bks frm the library. although that's not really allowed, but who cares. as i told ting, i am the self-professed worst employee. haha. i just do things my own way i think. and take lots of breaks. jane and kiat chuan and ting were so surprised at me. but joon wasn't. i guess it's who you work for.. ohwell.
ah. and i came across this book by john powell called "why i am afraid to tell you who i am". scanned thru it.. quite interesting. about how people behave around others. pple always say there is a "true self" as a core and many people put on masks, but really, ur true self is always changing, that's what growth is. i think i shall read that one day.. very interesting. and the different levels of communication. the lowest is the cliche sort e.g. "how was ur day?" and the typical answer "fine, thank you".
jane and joon came to lunch today! i must add that jane was rather late. grr. oh well. anyway talking to them (they have like 2.5 weeks left) made me realise something i actually wudn't realised until everyone's gone.. the feeling of not wanting to go. of missing everything here.
and i thought about it a little tonight.. it'll be a different style of teaching there and i'll miss it here.. ahh. rather inevitable though i guess. bleah. suddenly i'm scared all over again! bah.
and i think andrew is right, it's hard to find a job i won't be bored with. cos i told him i can't do things repeatedly cos the repetition makes me go mad. okay it doesn't really, but i get bored and don't feel like doing it anymore, must go do sth else.
oh wed i met ms hoo! she was so funny.. saying she decided to go enquire about learning lab cos the pple at the outside reception looked v free. and then i met her again later aft she was reunited w russell n grandma, and she accused me of slacking cos i take so many toilet breaks. in which i tried to defend myself by telling her the first time i saw her, i was looking for a teacher in the berlin wing. ah well.
ah.. okay.. thurs. i was talking to this p1 kid in the library cos her mom came late.. and asked her "how old do you think i am?" and she said "nine". (maybe cos before that she said something which sounded like nine, and i asked "nine?") anyway, it was quite funny.. i went back into eru to whine at johann who laughed at me.
fri. christine called me a goldfish and puckered her lips in an imitation of one. later on, in the library, i discovered two pages of some book lying on a shelf. so i brought them to rachel. i don't know why i couldnt' stop laughing, but there you are. went into tlu, waved the two pages at her, she stared at the pages+me. informed her that i found them on a shelf, and she was getting ready to whine, when her colleagues told her "don't cry lah.. got other things to cry about". so she complained "aiyah these kids.. why they like that..."
and i found that jane's from rj! wow. and all the pple in eru are arts pple. oh wait i think wtc said she did trip sci. well yeah.. it's so... dunno. stereotypical?
today! haha woke up late. oh well. my bed was v comfy, not nice to leave:( anyway, went sentosa, played beach vball. i'm really quite bad at it, my right thumb-where-it-joins-to-the-wrist is quite bruised now, and so is my inner right forearm. ahem ahem. then played touch rug. i don't remember wat sports i used to like, this is quite sad. not to mention alarming.
and then, it started raining and there were 7 of us stuck under that pathetic shelter, which wasn't of much help. luckily those china pple left their mats next to the shelter so we had extra protection.. ahaha. but still got rather cold. ah well.
rcs meeting. i think it was kinda pointless for the overseas pple to go since we can't join them.. i think? and that'll be like 4 years later.. =shrug=
oh and i got a little high after homezone.. first time in a long while too. just started laughing, probably bcos i was sandwiched btwn the twins and going mad. i mean, first, max "charmaine is fun to bully" and then immediately on the other side, martyn repeats the exact same thing. and then later it was sth abt daryl not liking them. and it was really, exactly the same thing! i don't know if they did it purposely or wat.. but it was quite funny somehow. just was in a crazy mood i guess. sometimes it's difficult to be in a crazy mood cos pple will look at you in a weird manner.. sometimes it's just good to go crazy and let go of everything.
ahh.. on a related line, i am totally sick of listening to star wars dialogue in the tll library.. i shall go mad soon, with the looping star wars trailer.. "the dark side.." "the dark side.." "the dark side.." -sound of light sabers flashing- (x3) and "do something R2!" (x3) u get the idea.. i forgot if rachel or johann very helpfully told me to go memorise the dialogue
heh haven't blogged the entire week.
so, mon.. qamarul n melvyn came for lunch. i wish deborah had come too so i wouldn't be outnumbered! gah. and i started library duty. and i didn't know that monday and tuesday were still part of the odd week cycle! sigh.. so i got mixed up. ah well. ohh.. and i faxed forte the wrong side of the timesheet (used recycled paper) so lorelle got oral pics instead of the timesheet. oops. haha. really pathetic.
tues ran off to esplanade to catch lunchtime concert. was kind of late. anyway they sang my fav song fly me to the moooonn.. haha. their bass is super powerful... man.. v cool:) and one of their tenors was very good.. as in has the jazzy feel. the other guy sounded like he was just singing words. or maybe it was the songs he was singing -shrug-
wed.. ser came for lunch. pizza hut! haha their lunch deal is really quite good. good value for money i mean. for once i ate faster than ser haha. but of cos that was partly cos she was doing more talking (as usual) and had an extra calamari to finish. ahh calamari reminds me of christine calling me clarmari on italy trip.
ah. oh yes so i went back up to help her photostat my ravel score (idiotic gal didn't tell me earlier so i could do it when no one was around.. man...) and ended up getting scolded by flora chan (i think) cos she wanted to use the machine. bah.
then time for meeting.. as usual i felt rather extra sitting in the middle of the path (cos the laptop had to be charged) but can look at the mirror and see who's coming! haha. anyway so christine arrived and tapped me on the head so i stuck my tongue out at her (the outraged expression on her face was quite hilarious) and she called me a horrible hamster! augh.
lesley on sick leave so i didn't hand up my work.
thurs. went in search of porridge for lunch.. lemme see.. i think i'll continue another time. too tired. and stupid sistic website..!$*&(^. freaking annoying. hopefully calling works tmr and we get gd seats. gahh.
anyway i really need sleep, i don't know why i'm going to wake up at 6sth tmr to go to sentosa.. i must be mad.
ouch. poor clar's feet are v painful! anyway, i had a fun time today:) although i felt rather extra at experiences fair, really. and met a few of my seniors. and met chris n ser n emilyn!:) and poor old max haha.. and jane. and johann. and wenyu. and then lyd finally arrived.. and we went off to planet fitness.
i've never gone into one of these gyms.. although i think i've possibly seen one of them (from the outside) in my dreams, weirdly. anyway it was quite cool.. although as usual felt extra cos lyd was the one wanting a tour and i wasn't intending to join them. and on the way to city hall, we stopped by some spectacle shop and lyd happily took down all the branded shades and tried them on me.
anyway we went pacific coffee to have a snack. since lyd didn't have lunch and was hungry. yummy apple strudel:D chunks of apple and raisins and icing sugar! haha. then jiahui msged to say she was going to be late. and lyd called junwan, only to realise joon just woke up (this gal is champion at sleeping) so lyd called them "silly donkeys" (haha somehow it sounds v cute) and threatened to make them pay for dinner. then lyd started telling me the story of pooh and his frens (which she's been hooked on cos apparently they're very amusing - this reminds me of teletubbies) and recommending that i should go read the stories too
shall skip forward to pam's play! haha it was really a mini-rj gathering again.. pam's class, yihan's class, yunlei, lou, aud, mj, engsiang, sengteck, jon chen, ... woah. lou's so funny.. complaining about how sucky smu camp was. anyway the play was quite funny.. although a bit mystifying when the pple changed identities.. and for some part of it i couldn't really make out wat moon n birdboot were talking about. maybe i shall go read the play..
oh before tt lyd suggested going to bugis to eat durians.. so we really did walk there (although jiahui thought it would take an hour to walk there frm old parliament house, haha) and yay! durians! haha but we were so obviously amateurish it was rather pathetic:p nvm, we shall improve.
4 is a nice number for a grp outing:) enjoyed myself lots today!
back from concert. rather tired and i have to wake up by 8 tmr.. well. hopefully nxt week sat i'll get to wake up late. haha. anyway.. concert was good.. i think their blending has improved. haha. just an impression, maybe the recordings will sound different though. or maybe acoustics were better. or maybe they just got better:) i enjoyed the last few songs most though.. probably cos they were my favourites to begin with..
while i was watching them a lot of thoughts came to my mind. some memories, not all of which are pleasant. and wondering about things i'll never know. or never want to know, for that matter. anyway, on a lighter note, what they said about mingze's english and his freestyling was hilarious.. cos it's absolutely true! haha..
oh! i forgot to say something about audry's photo in college day report. she was in this hot pink shirt. so i was like "audry!!" and she claims it's red. really in denial -shakes head-
mooo:( had to wake up at 7.30am again today. groan. poor clar. tmr i can't wake up late either if not i'll be late for church. and then the work week starts again. hai.. anyway, it was fun going back and seeing pple:) although didn't see that many pple.. i think i'll see more tonight:)
rachel! long-lost friend from LDS! haha. LDS is fantastic.. first chris n estelle end up in the same class.. then i found out rachel and alex chia are twins.. 
my silly pig brother:)
mommy.. people like to say she looks like she's my sister.
dearest fiona.. disclaimer: she normally wear skirts much shorter than this, apparently her mom decided on her outfit. i hope she doesn't kill me for this:p
yingheng and wang ning (mr incredible who's gonna be flying w me n kiat chuan)
mr chan, aud and lu bo! haha. mini 3c gathering.. ohh.. i forgot to take photo with sarah, darn.
me and audry:) the student of the year.. woohoo!~ haha. can u believe this girl got 3 awards.. hais.. she and jireh.
kaicheng, val lau, me, yuxian. val said i'd gotten thinner (yay! haha)
oh mr math chan, upon hearing about my new job, remarked that "everytime i hear from u u're doing something completely different". i wouldn't say completely, but well. mr bio chan is leaving nxt week.. btw serene, mrs lim says she misses u, u're actually quite funny. haha. quick, be honoured! which reminds me, i had better finish that compilation of quotes fast.. heh.
yay.. friday!:) and i finished one cloze passage today for p3 n 4s.. yeah.. 9 more to go for pri 1s. haha. suddenly i have so many things to do. and i only sound happier cos i'm at home now. anyway, for the record, yesterday lesley set me 3 sets of 3 cloze passages, 1 compre and 1 compo. so, i am quite occupied until wednesday. given that i can finish all that. i think at most i can churn out one or two articles per day, it's amazing how johann can finish things in 2 hours. maybe i'm just too perfectionistic. or like i said, low boredom threshold so i have to do bit by bit.
oh, and starting next week i have library duty because the wonderful boss (with another one of his fabulous ideas) has decided that librarians must do the returning of books (instead of letting teachers do it although they're perfectly capable of it). i shall read books there! hah. i mean, while taking breaks from my work, of course:)
and i wish they'll tell me my confirmed pay. then i can decide on how long i should stay. haha.
and i also think i'm not very easy to get to know. which is, hopefully, supposed to change soon. at first i wasn't sure i want that to change, but now i think it should. how confusing.
ah just for everyone's amusement, more accounts of how i never look my age. various staff, on seeing me for the first time, "are you a student?" me "no, i'm working here." staff looks puzzled. me "i'm the new intern". ah.
to top it off, on wed, christine, who interviewed me, walked past me without realising it was me at first then she turned around "so small!! i thought u were a student!" and then yest she called me a sec 3 gal who can't look thru the boston classroom windows (cos i'm too short). nyam nyam nyam.
oh also on wed i was asking this guy "how old are u?" and he said "9. u? 14 ah?"
i think i shall just be thankful i haven't been relegated back to p6.
shall just enjoy my weekend.. i'm going to feel even more broke though, dischordant concert tmr and pam's play on sun. but i'm sure it'll be well worth it, and i'll be happy! whee~ i wish my pay was here.. haha.
hum. today was a very forgetful day. first, when i was seated in the bus, i realised i forgot to bring my timesheet. !#%. then, when i was going into newton mrt, i thought i was in novena and had to take the marina bay line to get to my destination. so, i was wondering why the train was so crowded, then i realised i was headed for orchard. $%^ again. had to run to catch the other train back. i'm quite sure i made some more spastic mistakes but i can't remember them at the moment so we shall leave it as that.
lousy joon woke up late so didn't lunch w me. nvm, i have lyd for company tmr (i think) and ser on mon. and i'm going to feel even more broke: unless we eat at a foodcourt/hawker centre. i'm quite sure lyd wun do that tho haha.
tinky came to visit! it was really nice to see her, hadn't seen her in ages.. and she was actually telling me stuff about tll which i didn't know (nobody having bothered to tell me). so pathetic. oh well.
feeling rather sleepy really. i can't believe another week has passed so quickly. and i really don't enjoy 9 to 5 jobs. or 9 to 6. oh well.
grrr. i was originally in quite a good mood cos i got a pay raise today (amazingly, given that the only thing i've handed up in since last wed is a cloze passage on cloning). and then now i find out that my name, on my new krisflyer card, is "wen juan clarissa". this is the sole fault of that guy with the very strong indian accent at the other end of the line, when i called the sia krisflyer hotline. i am incensed. okay, after eating twisties i have calmed down. but i am still rather annoyed. i think i like eating too much for my own good. at least i hope i still possess this little thing called self control.
ahh.. woke up today and it was such a lovely cool morning i didn't wanna get up. as usual. i realised i kind of like rain. so if it's going to rain in san fran during winter it doesn't sound that bad! heh. or maybe i just like rain cos it's cooling.
anyway, got to work, no one was around. and i quickly got that stupid timesheet signed so i wouldn't have any trouble later. talk about idiotic rules.. drive me nuts. yesterday i brought candice into the centre (where the students normally wait for classes) cos i was gonna get water for her and then someone came out and was like "sorry, you have to wait outside".. like.. problem la there's no one around, i'm just trying to get water and we can go..
but that was yesterday. today i happily spent the morning reading books. since no one from my dept was around, and i couldn't think of anything else related to "civic consciousness" and "a brave deed" (for compo topics). by tomorrow i shall have to find something else to do. library-tidying only presents itself as a job at certain times of the day.
i think i shall quit by end-aug (unless i feel sufficiently poor) haha then can go buy my stuff and clear my room. it is in a horrific state.
oh, and like i was telling hk last night, blogging is cathartic. therefore when i blog, it'll more likely be unhappy. also i don't think i feel happy very often. three main states: not happy, neutral, slightly happy for a while.
my mom wanted me to bring my comforter along. (they don't provide comforters and pillows, ugh) she appears to think that i possess a magical suitcase which will never be fully-filled, and even when laden with a large amount of stuff, will remain feather-light.
i think i didn't blog for a while. oh. it was only one day. oops. yesterday was good! the little mermaid ballet under the stars! i'm glad it didn't rain.. but really, lines like "here is a knife. see, it is sharp" are really too much. luckily that was the worst. the stuffed shark was so cute:p and the crab and the lobster.. and the oysters! hahaha. so cute.
and gd old cheukka.. "can we eat during the performance?" (when sabrina mentioned the floats that they were going to dance on for some nus thing) "float as in the sea one?" and it was great seeing sya! i haven't seen her in ages.. she's so funny n practical:) (and scathing of silly remarks) and of cos lijia who's so tanned now..
anyway, as usual i didn't wanna wake up today. there's nothing like appreciating days of slacking when one has to get up to work. and no one was in my unit at 9am. ... time to slack! haha. i finished reading my book. happily. and i've finished my 2nd cloze passage.
i think i have a very low boredom threshold. i can't sit there and stare at the computer screen for very long, trying to craft something to my satisfaction. i have to walk around. and in that pathetic place, there is no where to walk to. basically, i need to have breaks in between, if not i'll just stare and get tired and accomplish nothing. somehow, putting aside stuff and coming back to it gives me new ideas. which are frequently better.
okay i'm just in quite a bad mood wrt work today.. luckily candice came down for lunch:) and a very good lunch it was! though i'm feeling kinda poor now hmm. and i got to waste extra time. haha. i'm probably one of the best examples of skivers you can find.
yeah and then i decided to go help out at the library and tidy up. and read some books at the same time haha. i think i'm anti-social. i have nothing to say to my colleagues. and there're so many times when i have nothing to say to a lot of people. including my friends. i somehow seem to remember not being this way when i was in sec sch but maybe i was just in self-denial or something.
anyway, i hate working in general. why do people torture themselves this way. okay i'm repeating wat i said in january. the only reason why i'm there, is so that i won't feel poor. but to not feel poor, i have to be unhappy. isn't that sad? clar is just cranky today.
i am further disillusioned. i think peiying is right, i am very unsuspecting. i.e. not cut out for this world. tinky says maybe i just look on the good side. thanks for cheering me up anyhow:)
yeah and i realised every mon n wed i'll have to rush. i think mon's more worth it though haha. and if you really do read this, which i don't think you will, thanks for trying to make me feel better:)
I think the pre-departure seminar made me a little more excited about leaving.. but only for the moment. still fearful of many things!
and yesterday in office when I was looking at the MSN website, I realised that (today) Harry Potter 6 is out! but I can't buy:( oh well. some kind soul please lend it to me? haha. though it's not that such a big deal anymore, I think I was more excited for the 5th book.. now it's kind of just for the sake of finishing the series. I think I've moved on. to better things! haha.
as foreseen, I was quite bored at grandpa's bday dinner. luckily two of my cousins were sitting at my table and my bro was v fascinated at the size of their youngest bro (sitting at the other table). the youngest bro is pri 3, and weighs somewhere in the range of 55 - 60 kg. he's around 1.2m. calculate his bmi, anyone? rofl. anyway, the oldest bro pointed to the youngest bro's tummy and asked "how many months already ah?" rofl.. and the 2 of them came up with various nicknames for the poor guy, including "mohammed ali" and "incredible bulk".. I really like the last name.
oh and I recounted the story of the creative primary 1 kid to my bro.. he sed he wud have given the kid A+ instead of failing him like the teachers apparently did.. totally agree there.. hahaha.
tinky has just related this to me, and it amused me hugely so i hope everyone else has a good laugh. the basic topic was to write about quacky the duck in united square :
this primary 1 wrote about quacky the duck who was walking around united square and then the duck rice seller at the food court saw him and caught him and turned him into roast duck.
tinky says she thinks they failed him. rofl.. although i sympathise with the poor fellow, it's actually quite an original piece of work:p creativity! hahaha. i must go dig up the pri1 file again and see if there's anything funny.
haha. i spent the morning reading the 2nd book in the chronicles of narnia. i.e. the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. it's quite interesting i guess.. although definitely for kids, given the language. which brings to mind my favourite bagthorpe series by helen cresswell.. it has a whole lot of super-cheem words and references I've never heard of and yet it's supposed to be for kids? hmm. anyway I wish they'd reprint it.. like my gerald durrell books.
okay back to the lion the witch n the wardrobe. the Christian references were really so obvious.. i felt kind of weird reading it. because it was too similar to the Bible. it's funny to have a lion instead of Jesus. even though it's a book.. okay nevermind maybe it's just me.
anyway, I stand by what I told Candice last time. Lunchtime is the highlight of the day when you're working! and of cos going home time, but that's at the end of the day so not counted.. I'm always very happy when it's time to knock off.. rofl
and I really wish I weren't writing for primary 1.. I don't think they're going to appreciate my style of writing cos it's been so long since I've done the narrative/descriptive thing. ugh. hmm. I don't know what I can write, actually. haven't tried satirising stuff in a really long time. or maybe that was only cos my brother egged me on. haha.
ah. and last night I woke up in the middle of the night, remembered I hadn't bought stuff to bring overseas, and I hadn't learnt how to cook. 9 weeks. or rather, soon coming to 8.
first day of work. something i realised, while i was staring around for inspiration. a lot of offices have no windows. that's why it's so oppressive, because everywhere you look, it's white walls. or cupboards. or walls. or computers. but actually even at home I don't think i look out of the window very much. maybe that's cos i have the luxury of not-staring-at-the-computer-all-the-time at home.. haha.
and taking minutes is very stressful. maybe cos it was my first time. or i didn't know what's important. i'm v glad i get to miss the 2nd meeting on wednesdays though haha:p
i think i shall take up my mom's suggestion and go read the lion, the witch and the wardrobe so i can, ahem, do my research better. haha. yeahh.... but after looking at all the pri sch stuff i'm like .. all this stuff is so long ago.. like narrative essays with a setting, building up to climax and resolving, different ways to describe stuff... synonyms for walk, anybody?