i really think i'm going a bit mad. first i wasn't happy. then i got high on hakuna matata or something. and now i miss french immersion (and all the nonsense that yunlei/kai/cheukka were spouting). talking to cheukkie abt the trip now.. so many funny memories. i'm so glad i got to know her.. funny gal:) and i was just complaining to her sometimes i suddenly feel so indescribably lonely. and she's like "orh.. i also.. so get a bf lo" rofl. like so easy to get like that. by mail order. okay that's not really something to joke about, given that it actually exists as a serious thing.
right i'm supposed to be writing my personal statement, don't know why i ended up here unburdening myself. my philosophy is that if i don't unburden myself i can't write! haha. convenient excuses.
oh! i can't remember if i posted the funny things i saw on simpsons (quite a long time ago)..
the simpsons' house suddenly sank into the ground. and some guy frm a building company came to check with a spirit level. he placed it on top of one of the walls, and it immediately slid down the wall and crashed. homer "did you see the bubble?"
english teacher "are you ready to take your make-up english test?" (the first time he missed it cos he feigned a stomachace)
bart, doubling over in pain, "oww.. my ovaries.."
i think i should watch more episodes to amuse myself. but they aren't always funny. somehow the ones i watch with my brother are always hilarious. miss him lots too. i guess like lyd said (she's in the same situation with her sis graduating this year) it's not so good to go away when your elder sibling comes back. sigh. what a mess. i only wish i knew what to do.
i hate interviews. really. and i can never say the right things. or rather, i can learn from saying the wrong things, but end up saying even more wrong things. it doesn't seem like i'll ever exhaust them all and it also doesn't seem like i'll end up at stanford. so much for getting in!
anyway i need to complain somemore, i'm only 18, how am i supposed to know what my career aspirations are? don't people change? i've heard of so many people who go to uni and totally switch majors. and even if i do get called back by gic, do i want to spend 6 years staring at numbers all the time? but i'm sure they look at other things besides numbers right.
i should just go and buy a farm. but again i don't like cleaning up either haha. talk about fussy. anyway, even if i go to uni w/o a scholarship, i'll have to go for job interviews after that. and sell myself again. oh, i'm such a wonderful person therefore you should hire me. interminable. i wonder what it's like to be an author.
on another note, i think bond (their music) makes me feel better when i'm not happy.
it's finally friday.. hardly realised it. must be cos of the wednesday-holiday. such a horrible day. week? i don't know. very mood-swingy this week i think. awful. and i have an interview lined up for each friday for the next two weeks. don't know about dbs. and two personal statements to write. okay i think i've said all that before.
i think it's my classes which keep me sane. at least i have something to look forward to.
speaking of which i need to try and be a better teacher.
it really never ends does it. always better, better, better. i'm very tired now really. and i don't mean physically.
upon glancing thru this again i realised how melancholic it sounds. but it's true. it's so much easier to ignore anything that matters and just go on every day but one day (or night) it just comes and stares you in the face and you want to scream. okay that last sentence i quoted from one of the anne books. childhood book, but there're little quotes which mean something. they mean something to me at any rate.
right i think i sound totally convoluted. ramble ramble ramble. but what else is a blog for, if not to vent frustrations? moo. feeling ambivalent.
right i'm totally stressed out (thanks to myself, i don't know what's wrong with me nowadays) and if i don't type something i'm going to explode soon.
so, i got my rejection letter frm sia yesterday, which kind of leaves me with 2 scholarships left.. and my gic interview is tmr and i haven't really prepped. and my mom was telling me i haven't been putting in enough effort. which i suppose is true to an extent. so, given that i only have 2 "lifelines" left (unless loke cheng kim miraculously calls me up, and i manage to convince them) i'm a wee bit desperate at the moment, given my tendency to screw up interviews.
in any case, i still don't know what exactly i want to do for a career. so, even as i'm feeling very lucky that i got shortlisted for both med n law, i have 2 more essays to write. and interviews and tests and blah. that's not so much of a problem.
the last concern being that i'm a terrible relief teacher. i feel like i'm short-changing my students. esp after today's staff meeting. i'm like. gape. how in the world did they manage to do so many things? and i also realised i have to start my students on essays soon and i have to MARK them and there're still people who owe me compres, which i have yet to finish marking as well. and it's not like nj's gp is like that of rj.. frankly i don't think mrs lim did very much teaching, mostly discussion. anyway yeah, rj, they just throw stuff at you, and somehow you manage to swim. at least for our class i think we managed okay in the end.
and now, i'm like. right. i haven't planned my lessons properly and i still have all these random application things to worry about. i just don't know.. my students don't seem to want to do stuff i tell them to do, or else they take a super long time to do stuff, and then i get so sian watching them being so sian too. i'm not even sure i can mark their paragraphs/introductions/essays (when they finally write one) properly.
feel like i've bitten off more than i can chew. and as usual, everything is undeniably my fault. poor time management, watever.
wah. i'm feeling so drained. spent 15mins trying to reason with my grandma.. she kept insisting on giving me money to go and perm my hair, cos apparently my hair is very messy and unkempt when i let it down, and if i don't perm, my students will think i'm very poor and my hair'll look terrible. really so tiring.. and she has a very very strong grip, was trying to force the money into my hands, and kept repeating herself even though i explained to her umpteen times that i was working, ... ... aiyoh. and threatened me with like "if i fall down (while trying to force money on me) how?" "if you dont' take the money i won't sleep!"
and the last time it was "i'm giving you money so that you won't have to scrimp and save on food, so you won't have to keep going to your friend's house to eat cos it's not very good to impose on them".
luckily i managed to persuade her to keep her money.
and my eyesight is really really terrible:( maybe it would've been better to stay at the zoo sigh. but actually no that's quite impossible i wouldn't survive the weeks esp if i have to do double duty.
i wonder if there're people who can never look angry.
Heh. one day when I was watching discovery channel or something, it was on Australia's native animals (I think). wombat! haha it's so cute. anyway the part I watched was on koalas. The commentary "the koala's greatest passion is sleeping". -beams-
and today.. my funny class.. actually it's just that I can hear all the things that the people in the front row say. I gave them the current affairs quiz.
qn: list the 5 cities (remaining contenders) which are interested in hosting the 2012 Olympics.
guy: Bethlehem. cos it's a holy city.
nxt qn was about the nepali twins ganga and jamuna. the qn was something like : operation was performed on ___ twins, ____ and ____, for the purpose for ____ them.
they didn't know the nationality, so the guy was like "siamese"
and didn't know the names either. suggestions included "maria and sutti", "momo and jojo", "fatimah and aminah"
and just to be ridiculous, guy said it was for the purpose of dissecting them.
qn: with effect from nxt yr, graduates who want to be teachers have to _______
gal: learn home econs
me: cook for their students right
okay there're somemore but I'm tired, shall go mark a few compres. not that that's particularly relaxing but well. my eyesight is really terrible now:( help me.. argh.
right. i'm very very tired. and i haven't read up on current affairs! aahh. and i actually saw my nj student at the concert -horror of horrors-. she happily said "See u tmr!" ahhhh. not looking forward to this. it was like, zero breath control and shaky voice does not add up to an excellent performance! haha. oops. anyway it was fun to perform again though, albeit a bit scary.
and i was checking out one of the stanford acapella grp websites.. their recordings.. the one of beautiful stranger is really scary lah, it sounds like the original song not an acapella version.. haha really super zai. but i think dischordant's perfect day arrangement is nicer than theirs. but they have better blending. or maybe its the way they recorded.. dunno la..
k i'm really too tired to write anymore, maybe tmr.. zzzz
heh.. yesterday my class was so funny.. they're the arts class i think? jieying says they're mixed combi. dunno lah. anyway, there're 3 of them running for council (that's why they talk quite a lot and amuse me in the process haha:p) and they all sit in the front row.
anyway, besides that, when i walked into class there were only 2 guys (and a few bags). guys "are we doing essay again today?"
me "no, compre"
looks of horror immediately appear
guy 1 "we must have lunch before 4 o'clock!" (it was 3.50pm)
another guy walks in and asks what's happening
Upon hearing that it's a ... -scary music- comprehension... "oh teacher I have a talk at 3.45"
Another very popular suggestion in my classes "Miss Lin, let's have GP in the canteen"
so I was like, so wat, talk about health food issit?
Yet another attempt to get out of class
guy : Teacher there's a girl crossing the road when the traffic light is red, I must go and save her
girl : really? why?
guy : pretty girl wat
girl : ohhh.. (explanation accepted).
guy elaborates : pretty girl, whether in danger or not, must save
girl : what if not so pretty?
guy : save only if she's in danger
girl : then what about very very ugly girl?
guy : let other people save
hahahaha. okay that isn't a very accurate transcript cos i can't remember exactly what they said.. but it's as close as it gets cos i wrote it down while trying not to laugh
half the class was late coming from geog lesson. girl "can I go and look for them?" guy adds "with our bags?"
2 of the girls "can we go to the toilet?"
me, suspiciously, "you all better come back ah!"
class laughs (i don't know why it was funny actually but nevermind)
girl "there only (points outside) you can come and stand outside the door to make sure we come back"
me "don't be ridiculous.. go go go"
I go back to writing the extra compre question on the board
guy "can I go and make sure they come back?"
girl "can write like in secondary school? The reasons are 1. ... 2. ... "
guy "cannot"
girl "but my secondary school teacher always said must be like that! we asked her.. sure? and she said yes!"
guy, unsympathetically, "no, your teacher bluff you one lah"
okay maybe unsympathetic isn't the adverb but I can't recall the word at the moment:( My vocab is terrible.. it's quite funny actually, I know the feeling of the word but I can't articulate it. I guess that happens after long periods of not-reading-good-books.
yeah. and today, i had a grand total of 6 students in the morning class cos half of them went to watch dance syf or sth. augh. before the other 5 came in, the 1st guy comforted me on the absence of the rest of the class "nevermind la teacher.. take this time to relax"
anyway I shall go shopping later:D time to feel poorer:
owww. i really think i'm fragile. there's some inflammation on my back which is so so painful :( don't even know how it happened. owch. i hope it heals fast. it's quite scary, suddenly feel a knob there and a patch of red.
and i think i'm a very boring teacher!:( augh. and a very lazy one, for that matter. i don't know.. in general it seems like i don't have enough determination to carry out whatever i think of. :( like I'll think okay, this is a good plan, i'll do it later. and i never get round to it. talk about procrastinating! i have a lot of inertia: but when i actually start, and it's "set in stone", i'm fine. i guess that goes for most pple. unless one has a tendency to give up. which i don't, i hope.
which reminded me of that c-vat test i did.. problems with time management. okay, more like problems with realising that time has limits. or realising that i can't do things at my own time (which is almost never, if not given a push, which is bad, cos i'll crumble in uni)
okay. i need to spend more time looking at far distances if not my eyesight will get worse and worse even though i hoped that wouldn't happen. working is bad for the eyesight:(
ah talking to eunice about school reminded me of something today. i got SO annoyed. okay, apparently on wednesdays they dont' open the gate till 3pm. why? so students can't run off from civics. so everyone who wants to leave before 3 has to walk out from the main gate. which is freaking far away.. not to mention it was so hot today. i feel like using a host of expletives but that is unbecoming so i shan't. anyway, so, there i was, at 2.35pm, at the bus-stop gate of nj, trying to argue with the guard to let ME out of the front gate cos i'm a relief teacher. which didn't work, so i tried calling the office. no go either.
walked to other car gate, unfortunately not open either. now, what did i expect? heh. i was contemplating climbing over but remembered jieying's stories about the barbed wire that surrounds the entire school.. so. not particularly viable. stared at the lock and decided i should get my dad to teach me how to pick locks so i don't have to contend with stupid school managements.
absolutely refused to walk all the way across the track, up to the canteen, up to the general office and out of the main gate, esp in the hot sun. (plus after exiting from the main gate, there's still a slope to go down, and another road to walk out, and then walk to the bus stop)
so, i went back to the bus-stop gate and joined the few prc scholars waiting there. absolutely inane. but that wasn't the worse. anyway, while waiting i was complaining to ser. and also staring over jealously at nygh because their gate is right next to the nj gate and it was OPEN. if I'd done pole-vaulting as a cca i would have vaulted myself over (bag, file and all). and one of the scholars suggested to her friends that they should climb the tree to avoid the barbed wire. the only problem being that the branches didn't really extend to the outside of the wall.
wait wait wait. more students appear. guard has to keep explaining that gate doesn't open till 3, and he doesn't have the keys so can't do anything. wait somemore. even more students appear. oh speaking of which, there were students on the outside of the gate who were trying to get in too, and the guard told them to walk by the main gate. so, it was kind of like the berlin wall, pple waiting on both sides to go to the other side.
at intervals i was ruminating on the absurdity of the situation. a bunch of people waiting. which just grows by the minute, while nothing else happens. like hi, it IS possible that those students want to go home and study, isn't that more productive than staying around waiting for the stupid gate to open.. whatever..
in case you think i'm still really angry, no, i'm not, this is just to let off steam. but really, at that time i felt like blowing the school up:p quite violent eh. one wouldn't expect it of little dino clar huh. i guess i get rather fiery sometimes. should learn to tone down. i don't think i used to be that hot-tempered. sigh. anyway, in their defence, the bus-stop gate does usually open at 1pm. and i suppose it's somewhat like rj's old policy of back-gate only opening at 12.30. but again the main gate wasn't that far from the back gate so that wasn't so bad. and i miss the old campus:(
oh dear. i feel a twinge of conscience at posting excerpts (albeit very short ones) of my students' essays. there aren't actually that many funny quotes but well.. my favourite: "teaching doesn't suit me because I'll die trying to manage keeping discipline alive in class." haha. another one wants to own a duck farm next time. it's a most unusual and unique ambition.. and my other favourite: "my favourite food is any food that can be eaten". last one.. "I hate lizards. These four-legged insects never fail to freak me out." I hope she doesn't take bio. haha.
okay. i'm feeling rather battered today.. going shopping for a while later! :D I think it gets tiring feeling thankful for everything sometimes. overdose of gratitude. everything needs to be in balance. at an equilibrium. such a delicate system. I'm rambling.
random thought: was looking at stars on sunday night.. and a thought popped into my mind. I read from somewhere (forgot which book/magazine/was it my own imagination?) that stars are the souls of those who have passed on. comforting to look up and know that they're still watching over you? it depends on the individual I guess. am in no position to judge.
anyway I shall enjoy my few hours at home before I disappear out again. and I'm going to update my bankbook and make sure RJ has paid me. haha.
right. now I shall try to recreate yesterday's post, since I switched on the comp to print some stuff for GP.. yeah I know everyone's going to fall out of his/her seat upon hearing that I'm teaching GP. at NJ. thanks to leeting's recommendation. well, all I can say is.. It's a challenge. haha. and I really need to plan my lessons! aahh.
anyway, I hope my students never find my blog cos I'm going to post some funny things they said/wrote.
When I gave them that terrible current affairs quiz (honestly, I don't think I could have remembered anything.. even though I'd read the papers I forgot almost everything:).. the row of people in front were discussing how many pple lined up to see the pope's body
girl 1: it's 210788!
girl 2: really ah? okay.. -writes it down dilligently-
girl 3: no lah.. that's her birthday
girl 4: eh my birthday starts with 0 how?
guy 1: write my postal code la! -proceeds to tell her his postal code-
and then one question in the quiz was "a sum of ________ was set aside for orchard road's makeover". one person put money. (howinsightful). another one put $11 billion. (yeah, I'm sure you like shopping, but there is a limit to funds available..)
oh yes and then another question about what superbug infected sgh patients.
answers " mega bug no.5" "mega superbug no. 5" (i don't know what the obsession is with 5)
and the funniest: corrupted nurses. hahahaha.
that's about all I can remember at the moment.
I'm sitting at the table of this teacher who has gone on maternity leave. On her desk, there was this postcard with a real walnut with eyes stuck on. and the poem on the back runs as follows:
LOOK at Me!
I am common-looking with a rough, hard exterior
Not particularly attractive but I don't feel inferior
I have no value in dollars and cents
I am so small I don't take offence
When remarks are made about my size
By people who are really quite surprised
When they break me open to have a look
Every space is filled, every cranny and nook
I had no say in my size, shape or the rest
I just grew and grew to my fullest best
Never saw my limitations as blocks
Achieved my potential in spite of hard knocks
Maximize whatever you have,in any small way
Make that bit of difference - start today
And take heart even if your talents are few
If a nut can do it - so can YOU!
-Willy the Walnut-
hehe. I was very amused by it.
went to watch sound of music today. the children are so cute:) well most of the girls are anyway. esp the youngest one! so so so cute! haha. bet every audience loves her.
and in 2 weeks I've had 3 relatives of my friends/church pple pass away. I don't know what to say/do, really. besides belief that God has prepared a better place. and even then. It's at times like these when one learns to treasure whatever one has.
right I was trying to look at a senior's photos frm USA and horrible shutterfly refused to work properly. anyway i think i need sleep. so tired.
augh typed a whole long blog entry yesterday which disappeared cos blogger happily decided not to load. very very angry. grr. and i can't remember most of it. so i shan't bother trying. i know i had some funny quotes from my students though. which i'll put up later.
YES!!! i got into stanford! woohoo~~~ words cannot express how happy i am.. i was just telling ser that i wouldn't scream at getting admitted into unis.. i proved myself wrong in the morning. okay i didn't scream, but i squealed. haha. actually, i woke up, realised it was 9 (and therefore i was late for choir alumni prac) and switched on my phone.. msgs came in.. then i read serene's msg "beh n me got into stanford" and i was like, sigh, these super zai pple..
so, asked my mom to switch on the comp while i went toilet. decided to skip the brushing teeth first. came here, check mail.. i was frantically scanning the "from" column and thinking: crap, i see no "stanford college admissions", don't tell me i've been rejected again. then i scanned "subject" column and saw the first email was "stanford admission decision" and hurriedly clicked... and then when i saw congratulations... ahhhh!!! squeal squeal squeal, squeal at mom "i got in!!" mom also can't believe it. haha.
then i just as hurriedly went to call ser up and tell her i got in!! i think she didn't believe it either. right? haha. anyway i also dunno how i got in.. then msged all the tchers to thank them:) sooo happy.. i don't care if wat changmou said last night was correct - after being happy u realise there isn't much basis and then u become unhappy again.. i shall just enjoy my day! haha.. yeah..
oh then after i finished brushing teeth came back to find missed call from my buddy. called him back.. so noisy.. couldn't hear anything.. silly darryl.. don't even think he knows where stanford is but nevermind..
oh yes and i forwarded the email to my brother.. i'm so glad i didn't disappoint him. as it was, yesterday he said he was soo sad i didn't get penn. so well. yay! haha.
so finally went off for choir prac.. heh. i'm very out of touch with singing.. quite terrible. sigh. anyway, i'm still on a high. plus got nice dinner later. :D but my euphoria is wearing off soon. and i can't really really believe it until i get the package. oh and i still need a scholarship to go. so we shall see.
right i think i finished rambling.. really thank God for his blessings:) yesterday i felt terrible.. today i'm at the top of the world. hope everyone got into everywhere they wanted!
well, just now i thought it was a really really awful day cos nothing was going right. at least things improved. anyway i shall give a short summary of my sucky day and then it'll be over.
1. didn't get a gd sleep, guess why
2. woke up expecting to find 3 emails (i.e. 3 decisions) in my mailbox, ended up with only one (which was rather expected), had to refresh the other decisions page practically 10 times before i got rejected (which was not so expected) and wait for the last one which still hasn't arrived
3. no more today newspaper at the stand, very bored on train trip
4. go to work.. lots of cheques and dunno wat stuff to write. and the boss treats me like an idiot cos i did something stupid (somewhat like mistaking a high f for a high a on the music score:p)
5. lunchtime, end up buying something which didn't turn out to be the way i thought it would
6. get dumped with stuff that i totally do not understand (i.e. stuff to do with accounting, which no one else knows either cos there's hardly any staff around)
7. leave work and somehow end up missing the 6.02pm bus.. so hafta wait 18mins for the next bus
8. bus is stuck in a huge jam, making it virtually impossible for me to reach home in time
9. phone totally dies on me after calling mom to tell her i can't reach in time
10. end up stopping earlier and walking to mrt station, where i somehow contrive to miss the train again? i think.
11. finally get to jurong east.. joy! the train to bkt batok pulls out of the station just as my train doors open. well done!
i think that's about all i can remember. and i don't care anymore anyway. i have a nice dinner tomorrow!! yeah!!! i don't think i've ever been that excited about a meal.. it must be my week-long deprivation of good food (and dinner on a few days) that has caused it. i have a very strong craving for gd food like sashimi and restaurant-style chinese dishes. yumyumyum. haha. i'm terrible.
anyway i don't think i could stomach another day of going to ubi.. shall see what happens
ah. new accounting job. man. i really HATE waiting for buses. esp one annoying shuttle bus which just refuses to come. maybe i need a more interesting book with me to absorb my boredom.
and i also realised i don't like working in ulu places. now do i appreciate the lovely location of my first working place. really! sigh. was just telling my mom the grass is always greener on the other side. this ubi place is so out of the way.. and the building's so ugly.. okay prepare for lots of ranting..
the company's so small.. there's practically no one in the office. okay today there wasn't. i guess that can be good and bad, but it's so quiet. and boring. and i feel very very cooped up. here i can't even go anywhere to walk around.
yeah and there's no nice food (this, like i told candice in january, is of utmost importance since lunch is the highlight of the day - though of late i haven't been thinking much of food) and no shopping! ahh. tragic. as shopping not as in clothes but no bookstores or anything. :(
right. oh and the company's so small they don't have their own toilet, hafta go out and use the common one. and the office is at the end of the very long corridor. what are the chances..
k now that i finished whining.. at least now i know about accounts! haha. although i must admit i was rather sleepy today and i just hope i remember everything i have to tomorrow. and it's back to excel spreadsheets. but it was quite funny at the end of the day after tallying accounts there was like $9 left and my boss was like !!
i get to issue cheques! -feels rich- *until i see the balance left at the end of the day* hoho. but still. feel the power!! whee~ and i'm doing salary tmr. feel like paying myself immediately rofl. not that there's a lot to pay, given that i only started today. oh well.
oh something i forgot: i don't particularly like spending almost 2 hrs travelling though, factoring in waiting time for the stupid shuttle bus. bah.
countdown to friday.. augh. i haven't been sleeping properly la. last night i dreamt we were back in rg - some huge gep 02 gathering. that would be nice wouldn't it? just that the uni stuff came intruding and then it wasn't nice anymore.
and i felt like sleeping again today around 3+. actually i think my eyes were glazed thru'out the day but really felt like conking out at 3 plus. hoho automatic shutdown.
on the way home i was thinking that i must have some artistic element in my job next time or i'll just hate it. but maybe it just seems attractive because i don't really know what it entails.
yay we won 2nd prize! it was really surreal. like i was wondering "oh okay they're just announcing finalist names now" cos i thought we were in category A. then after that, somewhere btwn going up there and getting back to our seat, i realised that we were the runners-up. which is so cool! lalala:D besides, we get more $$ of cos. rofl.
and i was so dazed i didn't hear who was the winner for our category. but actually like ting says i think they gave it to us cos we're the youngest (and i'm also of the opinion that they were impressed by her saying she'd been thinking about it since sec 3) and so it'll be like encouragement for current students.. i.e. we'll become role models. haha. and she said the chairman told her they (judges) had a huge discussion on us. i think it was a really good idea to make the mooncakes! though poor ting had to do all the hard work cos of our procrastination:s oops. bad clar.
yeah anyway.. the jap association is quite cool! nice n new n all. the only problem with today was the abundance of speeches and poor speakers. i mean, most of the speakers were japanese so it's a bit hard to make out their english sometimes. and most of them weren't really talking to us, more like reading out from their scripts. or.. i don't know how to describe it. when u're speaking to people u should sound like u're interested in wat u're talking about, or at least sound like u're addressing them. or maybe i'm just being idealistic as usual.
also, the content wasn't very interesting. i mean, like trade and industries and all that. i must be one of those apathetic youngsters that the ministers always talk about. haha. but i remember what lynette's colleagues said to her (ok i hope i remembered correctly and it was lynette not yl/glad) about how she has the rest of her life to get used to working at raffles place, why coop herself up there now? but there, it's probably more correct to say that oh, we should care about international trade and what not, since we're the next generation of leaders/business pple/whoever else.
the haach ceo is so pretty. quite lah. i guess she'd have to look good, seeing her line of business. and her hair is so long. and she looked so different from last week haha. she sounded a bit weird while speaking though. and she has a most interesting name! ms ponz goo. well.
dr vivian balakrishnan is very impressive. okay lah i thought he'd be a bit taller and be more forceful while speaking but that doesn't really matter cos:
1. he speaks very well i.e. actually sounds like he's talking to you - mom said of cos, that's what a debater's for!)
2. he makes a lot of sense (of cos, i mite have been just mesmerised but i hope i was being objective)
3. when he was answering q&a, drew on all the others' speeches - this i find really amazing because i wouldn't even remember what they said, let alone link it to answering the questions. okay maybe he was more interested in their speeches cos he didn't have to listen to the ones by the jetro & jap chamber of commerce pple.
whatever it is, i still think he's really good! haha. ting said she was impressed at how sharp our ministers are. i can imagine audry being one of them next time. sometimes i think it's just this aura around pple that empowers them. like exuding common sense or sth. or maybe it's cos u hear so much about them u're awed before you even meet them and that counts for quite a bit? okay i don't think i'm making sense anymore.
oh he said something about how if pple in the IT line have to design a webpage which appeals to pple, the prerequisite wouldn't be being able to write HTML in yr sleep, but to know about psychology/art too.
anyway, lunch was good, except that the plate was so heavy (ting complained her biceps were aching) and we didn't have anywhere to sit n the tables were like waist-high. but sushi! and tempura! haha. :D
right. maybe next week i'll actually be able to make it for alumni prac. though it'll only be like a few pracs away from concert! well. will see.
right. i spent around $88 yesterday. -feels poor-. luckily i got paid for my tuition services so that kind of makes up for it. anyway thanks to jane i have landed myself the accounting job. though now i have a problem with the science centre thing. well well. forever getting myself into fixes. and haven't thought of anything exciting to do.
ah. yes. last night i dreamt i got rejected by all my unis. it was a rather weird setting. like we were lining up waiting to get these slips with the admission status of all e unis we applied to. and chris was behind me i think.
the stress is getting too much for me. augh. and yesterday i was at both borders n kino and they had countdown to release of harry potter VI: 17 weeks. and i'm like ... i can't even wait till next week when my admission results are out and u're counting down 17 weeks? crazy pple man.. talk about marketing.. really large scale here. (and very overdone, in my opinion)
and i spent today watching dvds. rather unproductive. i think i should take changmou's advice and go and read something on econs. i think i shouldn't think abt anyth scholarship or uni-related. it's too depressing.
oh i just remembered something i said on saturday. demonstrating pure laziness. we were tramping around botanic gardens and trying to find my way out to the bus stop. and i was v tired (being on heels, as usual, unfortunately) and told ting i wished i had wings so i could fly (instead of walking) and then on reflecting i decided "but then my arms will get tired also" so same thing lah. and she was so amused. and i just told my mom and she was amused too. but it's true wat!
ah. long day today. i fell asleep at 10+ last night and woke up at 3 sth and couldn't go back to sleep and then finally fell asleep again and then had to wake up to go to gic. but i can't get over how beautiful their office is:p it's fantastic lar.. spanking new and clean and blah. and somehow these scholarship things are always so draining. okay i think i'm going to repeat what i said in my last post so i shall stop before i do that.
oh yes let me complain i feel so cheated. AND the logic was so hard.. don't know how joon long can finish it way before everyone else and sit there with folded arms waiting for deon to come in. i bet changmou enjoyed it though. i would have actually found it quite fun if not for the time limit.. and that 400+ qn personality test again! augh. i don't think it was the same as psc though? dunno. talk about mentally exhausting.
anyway so i called pple up and met anna + lynette + yl for lunch. let me quote anna on yl "she underestimated her lateness by 11minutes" (arrived at 1.21pm instead of 1.10 i assume) haven't seen anna in ages! pity kahli wasn't there though.. oh well.
oh wait before that let me complain about how i attempted to walk to far east sq frm capital tower.. so, i looked at the map, figured i'd see something familiar if i walked down robinson road, and commenced my walk. reached lau pa sat, felt totally lost cos i wasn't sure which direction raffles place was, decided to walk back to tanjong pagar mrt to go to raffles place. how sad is that. so i walked a whole round, and ended up dropping my phone (for the like 3rd time since last dec, which is -really- pathetic)
anyway yeah.. met sya at her usa ice cream stall.. talked to her for a while after finding that lijia wasn't v free today cos her colleague was on leave. and pam, as usual, never seems to eat lunch. that girl.. she'll be a bamboo soon if she's not careful. not that she isn't already. haha. i still wonder if i should've applied to france. oh well.
hmm yup after talking to sya, went shopping.. saw the nice pineapple tarts ms tan had at her house so i bought some home! yay:D didn't buy too many though, already have gelato at home. fat clar. and bought nice earrings from minou:) i would've bought more, but well. oh i wanted to go artiris too! but my feet were too tired. i like little shops. i mean. those push-cart kind? aiyah don't know what they're called. just find them more interesting cos e products there are less likely to be mass produced. or so it seems.
took a bus to orchard, was looking for books at kino until i got a headache frm flipping thru too many so went down to taka to shop. for what, i don't know. i'm still trying to find comfy not-too-high heels which look decent and don't cost too much but that seems to be too much to ask. should go to the "heartland" shops to find. they're actually quite good leh. and then i suddenly had a craving for cookies n cream milkshake (jan was most unhelpful in telling me to go to bluemoo) luckily the cafe in the library had:D and it was quite nice! although i ended up freezing for quite a while. and am kind of full (and fat) now.
i think orchard's one of the most boring places to shop at. i shall find new places to go. no actually most shopping malls are very boring cos the shops are all the same. sometime ago there was this article in the papers which suggested a shoe mall.. awesome idea! just go there and all the shoe shops are there.. yeah.. the convenience!
right. so i'm still trying to think of a new job.. ideas anyone?
i still haven't figured out what i wanna do. oh well. anyway, went out w fiona n ser today. haha and dearest fiona was later than both of us altho i went for this job-thingy before meeting them. watched in good company.. quite a gd show la. the wedding date looks quite funny.. and then we went to play pool. that place was super hot! and didn't have the stick. whatever its proper name is. i think it's worth paying a little more to get proper facilities. ser quite pro today eh:p won dunno how many games!
tomorrow i'm going for the gic test thingy in the morning. better get a gd sleep tonight if not i can't demonstrate my mental ability tmr haha. and i also realised their interview is going to be really hard cos they're bound to ask about current affairs and investing, both of which i know next to nothing. ahh.
i don't like the working world. okay that's kind of on a side note cos i was just thinking (more like worrying, actually) about scholarship stuff and how i don't like all those interviews and watever cos it has to do with the working world. which is mostly, in my opinion, rather unpleasant. but of course i'm being pessimistic and wanting to always stay small. (fine i am small, let's rephrase that to "stay young")
and i am also very worried about my uni apps, i know my sleep last night was very much disrupted by uni-related things but i can't remember any details. haha. i suppose it's better i don't remember anyway. wondering if i was being too idealistic by applying to only unis within the top 5 (excepting berkeley). probably so. not that i can do anything now, besides worry that i'll get rejected by everyone? haha. actually i don't even know what i really want either. praying for something good to happen.
i think that personality test thingy was right. i dream too much.
ah. went to safra mt faber on sat night to eat. it's quite a cool place.. the outside anyway. and while i was looking at the facade and wishing all buildings looked as nice i realised that wouldn't be very practical. i think it would cease to look good the moment every other building looks the same. i.e. ugly things are needed as a standard for beauty.
and spent most of yesterday sleeping. and didn't want to wake up today cos i'll have to think of what job to get next. okay not like it's so easy to get a job but well. maybe i need to join more organisations so i know what's going on and all. oh dear i just forgot what i was intending to do: oh yes update resume.
hum. i miss my old computer:( with all my lovely pics and songs! aah. the demise of my other comp triggered off a longing for my own laptop (preferably apple, my bro n ting have influenced me too much methinks) but i realised there'll be a problem with the internet connection. well. actually i guess i can just bring it outside to connect whenever. but again i also think my bro's supposed to pass me his laptop when he comes back. sigh. and actually i also don't like the apple laptops cos the screen display font is super small.. microscopic.. and it's not like my eyesight isn't already bad enough
oh! let me proudly announce the presence of a tub of venezia gelato in my fridge:D i'm hooked on it. lala:p it makes up for my missing swensen's last fri:) -beams- dark chocolate and mango sorbet! (or is it sherbert? i have no idea) aahh.
well my mom has just admonished me for being such a pig, to put it directly. lazing around and not wanting to go find classes to attend. yeah i admit i have a lot of inertia to overcome.