YES!!! i got into stanford! woohoo~~~ words cannot express how happy i am.. i was just telling ser that i wouldn't scream at getting admitted into unis.. i proved myself wrong in the morning. okay i didn't scream, but i squealed. haha. actually, i woke up, realised it was 9 (and therefore i was late for choir alumni prac) and switched on my phone.. msgs came in.. then i read serene's msg "beh n me got into stanford" and i was like, sigh, these super zai pple..
so, asked my mom to switch on the comp while i went toilet. decided to skip the brushing teeth first. came here, check mail.. i was frantically scanning the "from" column and thinking: crap, i see no "stanford college admissions", don't tell me i've been rejected again. then i scanned "subject" column and saw the first email was "stanford admission decision" and hurriedly clicked... and then when i saw congratulations... ahhhh!!! squeal squeal squeal, squeal at mom "i got in!!" mom also can't believe it. haha.
then i just as hurriedly went to call ser up and tell her i got in!! i think she didn't believe it either. right? haha. anyway i also dunno how i got in.. then msged all the tchers to thank them:) sooo happy.. i don't care if wat changmou said last night was correct - after being happy u realise there isn't much basis and then u become unhappy again.. i shall just enjoy my day! haha.. yeah..
oh then after i finished brushing teeth came back to find missed call from my buddy. called him back.. so noisy.. couldn't hear anything.. silly darryl.. don't even think he knows where stanford is but nevermind..
oh yes and i forwarded the email to my brother.. i'm so glad i didn't disappoint him. as it was, yesterday he said he was soo sad i didn't get penn. so well. yay! haha.
so finally went off for choir prac.. heh. i'm very out of touch with singing.. quite terrible. sigh. anyway, i'm still on a high. plus got nice dinner later. :D but my euphoria is wearing off soon. and i can't really really believe it until i get the package. oh and i still need a scholarship to go. so we shall see.
right i think i finished rambling.. really thank God for his blessings:) yesterday i felt terrible.. today i'm at the top of the world. hope everyone got into everywhere they wanted!
well, just now i thought it was a really really awful day cos nothing was going right. at least things improved. anyway i shall give a short summary of my sucky day and then it'll be over.
1. didn't get a gd sleep, guess why
2. woke up expecting to find 3 emails (i.e. 3 decisions) in my mailbox, ended up with only one (which was rather expected), had to refresh the other decisions page practically 10 times before i got rejected (which was not so expected) and wait for the last one which still hasn't arrived
3. no more today newspaper at the stand, very bored on train trip
4. go to work.. lots of cheques and dunno wat stuff to write. and the boss treats me like an idiot cos i did something stupid (somewhat like mistaking a high f for a high a on the music score:p)
5. lunchtime, end up buying something which didn't turn out to be the way i thought it would
6. get dumped with stuff that i totally do not understand (i.e. stuff to do with accounting, which no one else knows either cos there's hardly any staff around)
7. leave work and somehow end up missing the 6.02pm bus.. so hafta wait 18mins for the next bus
8. bus is stuck in a huge jam, making it virtually impossible for me to reach home in time
9. phone totally dies on me after calling mom to tell her i can't reach in time
10. end up stopping earlier and walking to mrt station, where i somehow contrive to miss the train again? i think.
11. finally get to jurong east.. joy! the train to bkt batok pulls out of the station just as my train doors open. well done!
i think that's about all i can remember. and i don't care anymore anyway. i have a nice dinner tomorrow!! yeah!!! i don't think i've ever been that excited about a meal.. it must be my week-long deprivation of good food (and dinner on a few days) that has caused it. i have a very strong craving for gd food like sashimi and restaurant-style chinese dishes. yumyumyum. haha. i'm terrible.
anyway i don't think i could stomach another day of going to ubi.. shall see what happens
ah. new accounting job. man. i really HATE waiting for buses. esp one annoying shuttle bus which just refuses to come. maybe i need a more interesting book with me to absorb my boredom.
and i also realised i don't like working in ulu places. now do i appreciate the lovely location of my first working place. really! sigh. was just telling my mom the grass is always greener on the other side. this ubi place is so out of the way.. and the building's so ugly.. okay prepare for lots of ranting..
the company's so small.. there's practically no one in the office. okay today there wasn't. i guess that can be good and bad, but it's so quiet. and boring. and i feel very very cooped up. here i can't even go anywhere to walk around.
yeah and there's no nice food (this, like i told candice in january, is of utmost importance since lunch is the highlight of the day - though of late i haven't been thinking much of food) and no shopping! ahh. tragic. as shopping not as in clothes but no bookstores or anything. :(
right. oh and the company's so small they don't have their own toilet, hafta go out and use the common one. and the office is at the end of the very long corridor. what are the chances..
k now that i finished whining.. at least now i know about accounts! haha. although i must admit i was rather sleepy today and i just hope i remember everything i have to tomorrow. and it's back to excel spreadsheets. but it was quite funny at the end of the day after tallying accounts there was like $9 left and my boss was like !!
i get to issue cheques! -feels rich- *until i see the balance left at the end of the day* hoho. but still. feel the power!! whee~ and i'm doing salary tmr. feel like paying myself immediately rofl. not that there's a lot to pay, given that i only started today. oh well.
oh something i forgot: i don't particularly like spending almost 2 hrs travelling though, factoring in waiting time for the stupid shuttle bus. bah.
countdown to friday.. augh. i haven't been sleeping properly la. last night i dreamt we were back in rg - some huge gep 02 gathering. that would be nice wouldn't it? just that the uni stuff came intruding and then it wasn't nice anymore.
and i felt like sleeping again today around 3+. actually i think my eyes were glazed thru'out the day but really felt like conking out at 3 plus. hoho automatic shutdown.
on the way home i was thinking that i must have some artistic element in my job next time or i'll just hate it. but maybe it just seems attractive because i don't really know what it entails.
yay we won 2nd prize! it was really surreal. like i was wondering "oh okay they're just announcing finalist names now" cos i thought we were in category A. then after that, somewhere btwn going up there and getting back to our seat, i realised that we were the runners-up. which is so cool! lalala:D besides, we get more $$ of cos. rofl.
and i was so dazed i didn't hear who was the winner for our category. but actually like ting says i think they gave it to us cos we're the youngest (and i'm also of the opinion that they were impressed by her saying she'd been thinking about it since sec 3) and so it'll be like encouragement for current students.. i.e. we'll become role models. haha. and she said the chairman told her they (judges) had a huge discussion on us. i think it was a really good idea to make the mooncakes! though poor ting had to do all the hard work cos of our procrastination:s oops. bad clar.
yeah anyway.. the jap association is quite cool! nice n new n all. the only problem with today was the abundance of speeches and poor speakers. i mean, most of the speakers were japanese so it's a bit hard to make out their english sometimes. and most of them weren't really talking to us, more like reading out from their scripts. or.. i don't know how to describe it. when u're speaking to people u should sound like u're interested in wat u're talking about, or at least sound like u're addressing them. or maybe i'm just being idealistic as usual.
also, the content wasn't very interesting. i mean, like trade and industries and all that. i must be one of those apathetic youngsters that the ministers always talk about. haha. but i remember what lynette's colleagues said to her (ok i hope i remembered correctly and it was lynette not yl/glad) about how she has the rest of her life to get used to working at raffles place, why coop herself up there now? but there, it's probably more correct to say that oh, we should care about international trade and what not, since we're the next generation of leaders/business pple/whoever else.
the haach ceo is so pretty. quite lah. i guess she'd have to look good, seeing her line of business. and her hair is so long. and she looked so different from last week haha. she sounded a bit weird while speaking though. and she has a most interesting name! ms ponz goo. well.
dr vivian balakrishnan is very impressive. okay lah i thought he'd be a bit taller and be more forceful while speaking but that doesn't really matter cos:
1. he speaks very well i.e. actually sounds like he's talking to you - mom said of cos, that's what a debater's for!)
2. he makes a lot of sense (of cos, i mite have been just mesmerised but i hope i was being objective)
3. when he was answering q&a, drew on all the others' speeches - this i find really amazing because i wouldn't even remember what they said, let alone link it to answering the questions. okay maybe he was more interested in their speeches cos he didn't have to listen to the ones by the jetro & jap chamber of commerce pple.
whatever it is, i still think he's really good! haha. ting said she was impressed at how sharp our ministers are. i can imagine audry being one of them next time. sometimes i think it's just this aura around pple that empowers them. like exuding common sense or sth. or maybe it's cos u hear so much about them u're awed before you even meet them and that counts for quite a bit? okay i don't think i'm making sense anymore.
oh he said something about how if pple in the IT line have to design a webpage which appeals to pple, the prerequisite wouldn't be being able to write HTML in yr sleep, but to know about psychology/art too.
anyway, lunch was good, except that the plate was so heavy (ting complained her biceps were aching) and we didn't have anywhere to sit n the tables were like waist-high. but sushi! and tempura! haha. :D
right. maybe next week i'll actually be able to make it for alumni prac. though it'll only be like a few pracs away from concert! well. will see.
right. i spent around $88 yesterday. -feels poor-. luckily i got paid for my tuition services so that kind of makes up for it. anyway thanks to jane i have landed myself the accounting job. though now i have a problem with the science centre thing. well well. forever getting myself into fixes. and haven't thought of anything exciting to do.
ah. yes. last night i dreamt i got rejected by all my unis. it was a rather weird setting. like we were lining up waiting to get these slips with the admission status of all e unis we applied to. and chris was behind me i think.
the stress is getting too much for me. augh. and yesterday i was at both borders n kino and they had countdown to release of harry potter VI: 17 weeks. and i'm like ... i can't even wait till next week when my admission results are out and u're counting down 17 weeks? crazy pple man.. talk about marketing.. really large scale here. (and very overdone, in my opinion)
and i spent today watching dvds. rather unproductive. i think i should take changmou's advice and go and read something on econs. i think i shouldn't think abt anyth scholarship or uni-related. it's too depressing.
oh i just remembered something i said on saturday. demonstrating pure laziness. we were tramping around botanic gardens and trying to find my way out to the bus stop. and i was v tired (being on heels, as usual, unfortunately) and told ting i wished i had wings so i could fly (instead of walking) and then on reflecting i decided "but then my arms will get tired also" so same thing lah. and she was so amused. and i just told my mom and she was amused too. but it's true wat!
ah. long day today. i fell asleep at 10+ last night and woke up at 3 sth and couldn't go back to sleep and then finally fell asleep again and then had to wake up to go to gic. but i can't get over how beautiful their office is:p it's fantastic lar.. spanking new and clean and blah. and somehow these scholarship things are always so draining. okay i think i'm going to repeat what i said in my last post so i shall stop before i do that.
oh yes let me complain i feel so cheated. AND the logic was so hard.. don't know how joon long can finish it way before everyone else and sit there with folded arms waiting for deon to come in. i bet changmou enjoyed it though. i would have actually found it quite fun if not for the time limit.. and that 400+ qn personality test again! augh. i don't think it was the same as psc though? dunno. talk about mentally exhausting.
anyway so i called pple up and met anna + lynette + yl for lunch. let me quote anna on yl "she underestimated her lateness by 11minutes" (arrived at 1.21pm instead of 1.10 i assume) haven't seen anna in ages! pity kahli wasn't there though.. oh well.
oh wait before that let me complain about how i attempted to walk to far east sq frm capital tower.. so, i looked at the map, figured i'd see something familiar if i walked down robinson road, and commenced my walk. reached lau pa sat, felt totally lost cos i wasn't sure which direction raffles place was, decided to walk back to tanjong pagar mrt to go to raffles place. how sad is that. so i walked a whole round, and ended up dropping my phone (for the like 3rd time since last dec, which is -really- pathetic)
anyway yeah.. met sya at her usa ice cream stall.. talked to her for a while after finding that lijia wasn't v free today cos her colleague was on leave. and pam, as usual, never seems to eat lunch. that girl.. she'll be a bamboo soon if she's not careful. not that she isn't already. haha. i still wonder if i should've applied to france. oh well.
hmm yup after talking to sya, went shopping.. saw the nice pineapple tarts ms tan had at her house so i bought some home! yay:D didn't buy too many though, already have gelato at home. fat clar. and bought nice earrings from minou:) i would've bought more, but well. oh i wanted to go artiris too! but my feet were too tired. i like little shops. i mean. those push-cart kind? aiyah don't know what they're called. just find them more interesting cos e products there are less likely to be mass produced. or so it seems.
took a bus to orchard, was looking for books at kino until i got a headache frm flipping thru too many so went down to taka to shop. for what, i don't know. i'm still trying to find comfy not-too-high heels which look decent and don't cost too much but that seems to be too much to ask. should go to the "heartland" shops to find. they're actually quite good leh. and then i suddenly had a craving for cookies n cream milkshake (jan was most unhelpful in telling me to go to bluemoo) luckily the cafe in the library had:D and it was quite nice! although i ended up freezing for quite a while. and am kind of full (and fat) now.
i think orchard's one of the most boring places to shop at. i shall find new places to go. no actually most shopping malls are very boring cos the shops are all the same. sometime ago there was this article in the papers which suggested a shoe mall.. awesome idea! just go there and all the shoe shops are there.. yeah.. the convenience!
right. so i'm still trying to think of a new job.. ideas anyone?
i still haven't figured out what i wanna do. oh well. anyway, went out w fiona n ser today. haha and dearest fiona was later than both of us altho i went for this job-thingy before meeting them. watched in good company.. quite a gd show la. the wedding date looks quite funny.. and then we went to play pool. that place was super hot! and didn't have the stick. whatever its proper name is. i think it's worth paying a little more to get proper facilities. ser quite pro today eh:p won dunno how many games!
tomorrow i'm going for the gic test thingy in the morning. better get a gd sleep tonight if not i can't demonstrate my mental ability tmr haha. and i also realised their interview is going to be really hard cos they're bound to ask about current affairs and investing, both of which i know next to nothing. ahh.
i don't like the working world. okay that's kind of on a side note cos i was just thinking (more like worrying, actually) about scholarship stuff and how i don't like all those interviews and watever cos it has to do with the working world. which is mostly, in my opinion, rather unpleasant. but of course i'm being pessimistic and wanting to always stay small. (fine i am small, let's rephrase that to "stay young")
and i am also very worried about my uni apps, i know my sleep last night was very much disrupted by uni-related things but i can't remember any details. haha. i suppose it's better i don't remember anyway. wondering if i was being too idealistic by applying to only unis within the top 5 (excepting berkeley). probably so. not that i can do anything now, besides worry that i'll get rejected by everyone? haha. actually i don't even know what i really want either. praying for something good to happen.
i think that personality test thingy was right. i dream too much.
ah. went to safra mt faber on sat night to eat. it's quite a cool place.. the outside anyway. and while i was looking at the facade and wishing all buildings looked as nice i realised that wouldn't be very practical. i think it would cease to look good the moment every other building looks the same. i.e. ugly things are needed as a standard for beauty.
and spent most of yesterday sleeping. and didn't want to wake up today cos i'll have to think of what job to get next. okay not like it's so easy to get a job but well. maybe i need to join more organisations so i know what's going on and all. oh dear i just forgot what i was intending to do: oh yes update resume.
hum. i miss my old computer:( with all my lovely pics and songs! aah. the demise of my other comp triggered off a longing for my own laptop (preferably apple, my bro n ting have influenced me too much methinks) but i realised there'll be a problem with the internet connection. well. actually i guess i can just bring it outside to connect whenever. but again i also think my bro's supposed to pass me his laptop when he comes back. sigh. and actually i also don't like the apple laptops cos the screen display font is super small.. microscopic.. and it's not like my eyesight isn't already bad enough
oh! let me proudly announce the presence of a tub of venezia gelato in my fridge:D i'm hooked on it. lala:p it makes up for my missing swensen's last fri:) -beams- dark chocolate and mango sorbet! (or is it sherbert? i have no idea) aahh.
well my mom has just admonished me for being such a pig, to put it directly. lazing around and not wanting to go find classes to attend. yeah i admit i have a lot of inertia to overcome.
ah. very busy last few days. and next week i'm slack and free again. well well. and chem tuition ah.. wah.. so tiring got to sit there like doing tutorials all over again. which reminds me i must ask ser some stuff haha. to confirm.
anyway yeah went for caas interview and met loads of people.. rj pple and hc pple i.e. chris' classmates.. all nice pple! wah and now jiahui says she met jo selene and others today. i didn't really realise how many people applied until i saw 18 other pple in the room yesterday. oh well. anyway, the group thing was really chaotic and annoying.. i actually thought pple would go one by one to present views but haha. loud and interrupt here and there.. it's so.. dunno la.. because everyone knows he/she has to prove him/herself and say something and all that. don't like these group thingies.
and the summary was crazy.. 7 pgs or sth i think? into 300 words.
ah well it's over. and i was worried i wudn't be able to get to tuition in time (which i didn't). bleah. and then got home, spent around 1 hr at home, then time to go to ting's house. i'm really last minute. it's terrible.
and today.. i think the most interesting part was getting my personality analysed by this guy we met at the presentation.. haha. but now the novelty's worn off so i'm quite bored. trying to think of nice place to go to eat dinner! aiyah i wonder if they went to eat swensen's yesterday.. lucky pple. nevermind.. i'm eating at venezia w lijia n joon on monday! haha.
aiyah i'm not very happy today either. partly cos i'm so tired and i have so many things to do. and i don't know what to think. the turnover rate is so high and i'm feeling so so lazy at the moment. and tired. still tired. in fact, tired the whole day. the mere thought of having to exert myself tires me. imagine that. no one can beat me at being lazy.
anyway i also don't know why my lower back (or lower part of spine) is aching. oww. poor clar. haha self-sympathy.
feel absolutely shitty. i'm better off a hermit or something. i hope i didnt get my bro into trouble. (and please don't ask what i said) why'm i so stupid? i'm over honest, over trusting, over innocent, the list goes on. maybe they'll just forget i went for their interview or lose all my info or sth and everyth'll be fine. anyway i totally screwed up mas interview, and i also hate their questions cos they're so freaking hard to answer. i think this is the first time i've been faced with at least one question that i really can't answer. luckily i don't really want to join them so it doesn't matter so much. at least now i know what NOT to say. hate myself sometimes.
the only good thing is that i'm going to the zoo tmr. at least i hope it'll be nice, if not i'll be even sadder. or angrier, depending? haha.
and i still have that caas speech to write. it doesn't even sound interesting to me, how'm i going to present it so people don't fall asleep and i sound sufficiently enthusiastic about myself? i should just forget about stupid scholarships and stay here.
alright evidently i'm in quite a foul mood so i shall stop. and go and eat something that will make me happier. though the cloud hangs above, full of menace. i probably over-worry but still.
yawn. i'm tired. actually i've been tired the whole day. and i wonder how i'm going to finish everything and produce good quality stuff. these essays are driving me nuts, it's like uni apps all over again. (and it also doesn't help that now even nus needs 3 essays. idiotic pple. oops k i better hope they never see this.) and now it's kind of worse cos i'm being so last minute. gah. really, some things never change.
anyway here's the lowdown on my last 2 classes on friday.. kp's n fenglin's class.. and jinjie came to crash.. i bet he was bored stiff haha. and i caught him taking photo of me. right? *glares* and i had to look for questions in my own tuts cos it seemed slightly pointless to go thru the common test qns when they all had the answers and were just copying off sometimes. yeah well i didn't go thru the last qn.. but that was just showing that the charge was redistributed wat.. plus the hint was so obvious. anyway after explaining the complicated kirchhoff's laws thingy i had to go down to s12a already so too bad.
so.. at least for s12a it was back to the normal routine.. which actually makes life easier although boring. go thru lect test.. etc. and oh, someone wanted to call me clarissa la so i was like "no, u hafta call me ma'am at least" haha. and then junming's junior was sitting in front. they were quite cute though, at 10.15 i think? they were like "ma'am can we go now? want to go for eye check-up.."
" got free gift! first come first serve!"
"if you let us go now we'll let you go in front and get the free gift first.."
and complained that i gave them 2 questions to do somemore. haiyoh.
anyway later i accompanied sarah to bio lab to kaypoh while her student did make-up spa.. it's really not such a good idea to have the bio and physics lab benches in that weird arrangment. like sarah said.. "can make eyes across the table" rofl.
yeah oh! i met xinmin at like 1+ while waiting to pass time so i could leave haha. talked for a while.. she knows the 3i pple! esp guy1 who's her chamber junior. ah-hah. speaking of which i met him in the lift and he was like oops. and i met denise c n yujia in the canteen.. n yujia said "u want to teach our class again today?" haha don't dare already.
mm then talked to mr chan (math). he says i'm v unsure of everything. to do with career. and that i have a lot of restrictions. but well, at least i know what i don't want? haha don't know lah. i'm just a confused 18 yr old.
heh i was blog surfing for a while and so many pple were saying how they prefer the old rj campus cos it's cosy and nice and you meet pple along the corridors. totally agree. new rj is so huge it takes ages to get anywhere. i felt like stealing the security guard's bike quite a few times. and the walk to j8 is SO long too. not to mention hot. oh and new rj has many many floors. lifts are frequently crowded.
i was going to reflect on teaching but i shall do that another time cos i feel slightly hard pressed for time. suddenly so busy all over again. all these scholarship things. i don't even know if i really want to join those companies and how'm i going to convince them if i'm not even sure myself? bah. let's pray i come up with something fast.
well.. mixed day. 3 classes today, each rather different from the other. maybe i'm too serious or fierce or something. anyway.. first up.. 3j.. recognised christina yek. anyway queerly enough mr raufie came in to say something.. i thought they were busy that's why we're relief teaching but oh well. umm a few of the guys didn't wanna listen to me at first and kept talking.. i realised how annoying that is. nearly lost it and wanted to snap "shut up" at them. oops. anyway later on when i was going thru tut they were mostly quite attentive so okay lor
and then 3i. haha. well.... no warning at all! i mean for 3b mr tan did say they're a bit naughty.. so i happily went in, said hi to denise, started.. there was this guy sitting at the far end of the class who didn't seem to be listening and annoyed me slightly but i've learnt to just ignore as best as i can. little did i know what was going to happen.
after i finished going thru lecture test.. (somehow i'm never sure whether they all understand cos sometimes nobody has any questions *shrug*) one of the guys (bio rep i guess??) asked for permission to ask the class when they want their bio make-up lesson.. so i sat there and waited for them to decide.. it was so funny.. after arguing for a while the rep was like "if we have the bio tut u all must come k.." other guy "then u ask us whether we want the tut for wat?" anyway they finally settled on tues..
oh and 3 of them went off for ssef..
so i told them to take out tuts. hmm. they already had the answers and a few pple didn't want to go thru answers. so these 2 guys decided to waste time for the rest of the class..
guy 1 "ma'am.. bell rang already.. didn't u hear it?"
me "no.. it's 10.30 no bell don't try n trick me"
guy 1 "new system la ma'am.."
guy 2 "ma'am.. if you let us off now got 20mins.. enough time to go down and get a bowl of porridge before lecture.."
guy 1"ma'am.. can hear your stomach rumbling.. let's go and eat lah.. celebrate your good results"
me "any questions?"
guy 1 "can you write pi to 100 decimal places on the board for us?"
guy 2 "ma'am you can get angry at us now and walk out.."
guy 1 "yeah then we'll walk slowly and sadly out of class looking remorseful.."
and i refused to let them off because there were like 25mins left.. really cannot lor.. i already let the other classes off early somemore.. told them i'd let them off 10mins before time too but they still refused! wah.. really headache man.
guy 2 "ma'am you don't look very interested in teaching also.. so let us off early!" (waahh.. that is the ultimate)
"ma'am.. 3 mins more (to 10.45).. we can do this together!"
me to guy 1 "since u talk so much tell me ur name lah"
guy 1 "my name is winston. people call me hodge. my sibling's coming to visit later okay! (implying that he's the prince of brunei, ahem.)
so these 2 guys talked so much rubbish the rest of the class (and i, sadly) was in stitches. really funny.. anyway in the end i gave up n packed up and told them "u wanna go right? go lor" and none of them dared to move la.. all thought i was being sarcastic. haha.
guy 2 "ma'am u're v sneaky leh.. reverse psychology"
guy 1 "that -almost- worked"
but still no one got up
guy 1 "ma'am you must lead by example (and go out first).. leaders thinkers and pioneers!"
anyway so i did go off and denise was so sweet.. walked me back to staffroom haha. i think this is my worst failure.. cannot out-talk these 2 guys. no actually i did manage to start on q5 of tut but they informed me that mrs lim had already gone thru that qn.. and the rest of the qns are quite easy la so i also didn't insist on explaining.
right.. then later on 1b. wah. no ohp. so i had to go to the nxt room to get one. and then most of the class was so stone. or not listening to me. and then after going thru lecture test, same thing happened "we have the answers already.. she said u were only going thru lecture test"
and it was 12.15 la! means i had like 40mins more to go. man. talk about feeling helpless. nobody had any questions.. so after feeling helpless for a few minutes i decided to write out questions on the board.. which half the class didn't bother to do.. luckily i had my file with me and used one of the kirchhoff laws questions.
ah i suddenly feel too tired to type anymore. maybe later. oh despite 3i being so terrible it was really funny actually.. i just hope they really do understand the tut answers..
oh dear. i think i'm really sad. and i also think i am the only person this could happen to. i went to the fridge, intending to get a drink (mix of guava lime n water) and ended up pouring vinegar into my cup instead of cold water. i didn't even realise until i tasted it and was wondering how come the lime is suddenly so sour. my mom was so appalled "it's so pungent! how did you do your chemistry prac?" aiyah it's not my fault they both look the same wat.. my mom recycles bottles and i asked "there're two bottles of water issit?" and she sed yeah (actually the other bottle of water was on the other end of the shelf)
anyway so i had to pour it away and now my mom's even more convinced i won't be able to take care of myself if i go off to US alone. and i also realised there's rather little time left before uni starts again. should go look up more courses. hmm. but lazy leh.
wah. i slept 10hours. wat a pig. i think i'm too pampered now. totally unused to lack of sleep/using my brain. though i did get to use it for a while until yesterday. and now for yesterday..
i think my first class was a dismal failure. because it was my first class and i wasn't particularly prepared. or rather a bit nervous. and they were all so stoned and yes i shouldn't have given them the answer sheet before going through lecture test.. and the large majority of the class didn't finish their tutorial. but i learnt some things. ie they'd rather listen to their classmates explain than me. and it's useful to have a class list to call names when they don't want to answer my questions. oh and at least there were a few people who did answer me (and assured me their class was always like that & "ma'am relax lah") so i didn't feel so idiotic standing in front wondering which question of tut they'd finished and etc. and found it rather pointless going through answers to tut when they already had the printed answers. so i let them off early.
and in btwn classes i was so bored.. alternated btwn talking to florrine/ser/aud/sarah/christine siew & sarah hiong.. got to watch mr chan's wedding video again haha. he's really amusing.. sarah "ur wife is v pretty"
mr chan "i noe"
and aud was like "wat?!" haha.
and later on ser was strangling me and i was growling at her not to bully me and mr chan "came to my rescue"and told her don't bully me and told me "u can give her a white slip!" and ser sed she'll colour it black. haha. so crazy. i was saying luckily no students can enter staffroom bcos we were behaving totally unlike tchers. and ser sed i look younger than my students. bah.
so yeah.. visited library.. scanned list of names at the general office.. ate lunch.. ser was indignant that dr chan n mr chan ch were sitting at the other end of the table. though i must say more like he's her favourite person to talk to although she keeps denying it. haha. i think she's going to kill me for this but too bad. yeah.. and then ser coerced me into going for chem lect w her, telling me that it's always very funny cos dr chan'll make silly jokes at the beginning and at the end.. but i got so bored i left after like 20mins+ haha. reliving j1 days (or rather, chem lectures) is more than i can take. oh n ms tan's really quite slim now.
oh and mr tan warned me that 3b's quite a naughty class so i'll hafta be a bit fiercer with them.. i think i must be the slackest teacher around cos i let them off early too.. but wat to do when they all didn't bring tutorials? i mean i did write out part of the question on the board for them to do but i also don't know if they did it..
they're v nice and friendly though.. it's quite funny having juniors call me ma'am. haha. but also quite fun. anyway yeah they're hilarious.. i was trying to think of how to explain the capacitor thing (which gave both me n florrine a huge headache, luckily i got mrs tan to explain to me later on..) and a few of the guys packed their bags and stood up and i was staring at them in astonishment.. so the guys were like "isn't class over already?" and i gave them an incredulous look and said "NO!" so they sat down again. -shakes head-
(and i realised i forgot to bring the tys to class haha luckily could remember most of the question since it was mostly definitions) and another one of the guys was so cute.. asked which tut? emi issit? cmi la.. so i told him if don't go thru tut today ur common test will also be cmi.. so they were like cannot get 4a's issit? (cos they asked me earlier on wat i got for a's) and i sed no i didn't say that!
yeah and there was steph and my church junior in the class (she claims she nearly screamed when she saw me in class haha.. exactly why i didn't tell her yesterday i was going to teach her class;p) darn now that i think about it i shouldn't have told denise c/kp/fenglin either.. it wud've been funnier.. oh well. and now my dearest buddy wants to come and crash my tut on friday.. speaking of him.. haha.. when asked why he went to run yesterday he said he was fat. haha i've never heard anything like that from a guy.. and he also explained to me the difference btwn "fat" and "flab" (flab is unseen fat so it's worse). i've never been so amused.
so visited choir.. john's so funny too.. begging me to swop classes so i'll teach his class.. i'm so thankful i'm not teaching 3c/3f/1a/1c/whichever other class who has phys shens which i haven't heard of.. i think florrine's teaching them.. dunno. wonder who took over hon.
and kp if u read this u'd better return me my carboxylic acid notes on thurs/fri.. grr.
didn't stay for choir though. i realised despite my 2 years (okay, more like 1+year) i don't really know choir pple very very well. as in both the current j2s and j3s. quite sad lar. but come to think of it i don't know my classmates particularly well either. think i'm still closer to sec sch frens and even then, we've drifted apart somewhat too. okay this is getting too depressing i will not end up in the same state as i was on saturday.
o i saw ms low n she was asking me abt choir pple's results.. and whacked me when i said a lot of their names are on the board downstairs. haha. oops. anyway, now i truly realise how hard it was to teach our class when nobody wanted to say anything. more regrets.
aaargh. i wish i'd started revising earlier. haha. this is worse than lecture test/common test la. given that i haven't touched my stuff for like 3 FULL months. groan. when i go uni in july/sept the same thing will happen. augh. i'm appalled. i can literally hear the gears in my brain (or what's left of it) turning and grating against each other! so rusty and so slow. and everything's very very fuzzy. horrifying really. anyway i'd better go back to stimulating my brain to gain momentum if not i'll never get to sleep at this rate.
sigh and my mom has to talk about results again and my s papers. what can i say? i should've done more about them since the beginning of the year? and i regret a lot of things? or should i say, having not done a lot of things? what's the point? i can't do anything about that now. i wonder what my predicted grades were.
on further reflection i thank god that i did okay and now am just praying for an excellent uni and scholarship.. who cares about a levels once i've gotten those..
hoho now my mom tells me my dad regrets letting me join choir. so she asked me "do u regret joining choir?" and after that "everyone thinks i can do better than my bro". which i evidently didn't. in a way. i'll never match up to him so what's the point.. let's predict my future.. i'll get rejected by all my us unis and end up staying here.. or maybe i won't get into any course here either and end up going somewhere else.. yay.. sorry i'm just rather bitter now.
oh and she thinks they (as in parents) didn't tell me what they expected (for s papers) that's why i didn't achieve. aside from that being ridiculous (because i have my own goals), that also hurts. and then she just asked me whether i knew what my dad expected from me. to which i replied i didn't really think about that.
maybe it's easier to work for something when you're doing it for someone else? but no i don't think so. it's like a replay of my higher chinese in sec 4.. felt like i let down my tuition tcher and my hcl tcher (who's v sweet and said she thought i deserved better). well i suppose at least i din let my gp tcher n tuition tcher down this time.
so tomorrow there's church and everyone'll be asking again.. i hope i get thru that in one piece cos i still have to come home and revise physics which i still haven't done. on another note, this is so ironic. i never thought i'd have this 2nd child syndrome or watever you call it. but i'll just forget it after a while, the way the water slips off a duck's back. i think i'm rather unfeeling sometimes. imagine a heart of stone. okay sorry being melodramatic here, exaggeration is always fun.
don't worry about me, i'll just pick myself up and go on. as always.
the incredibles soundtrack is nice.
lala. i feel much better after a loooong nap in the afternoon. i think i slept at least 4 hours haha. pig. felt so cheated having to wake up early and drag myself down to the bus stop on my painful feet and in the end nothing came out of it.. oh well..
oh. except the minor detail that my chair somehow crashed down and caused my specs to become deformed. bah. i suppose it's time to change specs anyway since that's the older pair. but was rather annoyed when i woke up.
the dolphin show was so nice. well okay not particularly but watching shows improves my mood mostly. i think. and oh i just realised how the AJC guy's results are really good esp considering his condition. makes one feel small.
yeah am going to be rather busy.. aah i still haven't revised my phys!: help.