yawn. i'm tired. actually i've been tired the whole day. and i wonder how i'm going to finish everything and produce good quality stuff. these essays are driving me nuts, it's like uni apps all over again. (and it also doesn't help that now even nus needs 3 essays. idiotic pple. oops k i better hope they never see this.) and now it's kind of worse cos i'm being so last minute. gah. really, some things never change.
anyway here's the lowdown on my last 2 classes on friday.. kp's n fenglin's class.. and jinjie came to crash.. i bet he was bored stiff haha. and i caught him taking photo of me. right? *glares* and i had to look for questions in my own tuts cos it seemed slightly pointless to go thru the common test qns when they all had the answers and were just copying off sometimes. yeah well i didn't go thru the last qn.. but that was just showing that the charge was redistributed wat.. plus the hint was so obvious. anyway after explaining the complicated kirchhoff's laws thingy i had to go down to s12a already so too bad.
so.. at least for s12a it was back to the normal routine.. which actually makes life easier although boring. go thru lect test.. etc. and oh, someone wanted to call me clarissa la so i was like "no, u hafta call me ma'am at least" haha. and then junming's junior was sitting in front. they were quite cute though, at 10.15 i think? they were like "ma'am can we go now? want to go for eye check-up.."
" got free gift! first come first serve!"
"if you let us go now we'll let you go in front and get the free gift first.."
and complained that i gave them 2 questions to do somemore. haiyoh.
anyway later i accompanied sarah to bio lab to kaypoh while her student did make-up spa.. it's really not such a good idea to have the bio and physics lab benches in that weird arrangment. like sarah said.. "can make eyes across the table" rofl.
yeah oh! i met xinmin at like 1+ while waiting to pass time so i could leave haha. talked for a while.. she knows the 3i pple! esp guy1 who's her chamber junior. ah-hah. speaking of which i met him in the lift and he was like oops. and i met denise c n yujia in the canteen.. n yujia said "u want to teach our class again today?" haha don't dare already.
mm then talked to mr chan (math). he says i'm v unsure of everything. to do with career. and that i have a lot of restrictions. but well, at least i know what i don't want? haha don't know lah. i'm just a confused 18 yr old.
heh i was blog surfing for a while and so many pple were saying how they prefer the old rj campus cos it's cosy and nice and you meet pple along the corridors. totally agree. new rj is so huge it takes ages to get anywhere. i felt like stealing the security guard's bike quite a few times. and the walk to j8 is SO long too. not to mention hot. oh and new rj has many many floors. lifts are frequently crowded.
i was going to reflect on teaching but i shall do that another time cos i feel slightly hard pressed for time. suddenly so busy all over again. all these scholarship things. i don't even know if i really want to join those companies and how'm i going to convince them if i'm not even sure myself? bah. let's pray i come up with something fast.
well.. mixed day. 3 classes today, each rather different from the other. maybe i'm too serious or fierce or something. anyway.. first up.. 3j.. recognised christina yek. anyway queerly enough mr raufie came in to say something.. i thought they were busy that's why we're relief teaching but oh well. umm a few of the guys didn't wanna listen to me at first and kept talking.. i realised how annoying that is. nearly lost it and wanted to snap "shut up" at them. oops. anyway later on when i was going thru tut they were mostly quite attentive so okay lor
and then 3i. haha. well.... no warning at all! i mean for 3b mr tan did say they're a bit naughty.. so i happily went in, said hi to denise, started.. there was this guy sitting at the far end of the class who didn't seem to be listening and annoyed me slightly but i've learnt to just ignore as best as i can. little did i know what was going to happen.
after i finished going thru lecture test.. (somehow i'm never sure whether they all understand cos sometimes nobody has any questions *shrug*) one of the guys (bio rep i guess??) asked for permission to ask the class when they want their bio make-up lesson.. so i sat there and waited for them to decide.. it was so funny.. after arguing for a while the rep was like "if we have the bio tut u all must come k.." other guy "then u ask us whether we want the tut for wat?" anyway they finally settled on tues..
oh and 3 of them went off for ssef..
so i told them to take out tuts. hmm. they already had the answers and a few pple didn't want to go thru answers. so these 2 guys decided to waste time for the rest of the class..
guy 1 "ma'am.. bell rang already.. didn't u hear it?"
me "no.. it's 10.30 no bell don't try n trick me"
guy 1 "new system la ma'am.."
guy 2 "ma'am.. if you let us off now got 20mins.. enough time to go down and get a bowl of porridge before lecture.."
guy 1"ma'am.. can hear your stomach rumbling.. let's go and eat lah.. celebrate your good results"
me "any questions?"
guy 1 "can you write pi to 100 decimal places on the board for us?"
guy 2 "ma'am you can get angry at us now and walk out.."
guy 1 "yeah then we'll walk slowly and sadly out of class looking remorseful.."
and i refused to let them off because there were like 25mins left.. really cannot lor.. i already let the other classes off early somemore.. told them i'd let them off 10mins before time too but they still refused! wah.. really headache man.
guy 2 "ma'am you don't look very interested in teaching also.. so let us off early!" (waahh.. that is the ultimate)
"ma'am.. 3 mins more (to 10.45).. we can do this together!"
me to guy 1 "since u talk so much tell me ur name lah"
guy 1 "my name is winston. people call me hodge. my sibling's coming to visit later okay! (implying that he's the prince of brunei, ahem.)
so these 2 guys talked so much rubbish the rest of the class (and i, sadly) was in stitches. really funny.. anyway in the end i gave up n packed up and told them "u wanna go right? go lor" and none of them dared to move la.. all thought i was being sarcastic. haha.
guy 2 "ma'am u're v sneaky leh.. reverse psychology"
guy 1 "that -almost- worked"
but still no one got up
guy 1 "ma'am you must lead by example (and go out first).. leaders thinkers and pioneers!"
anyway so i did go off and denise was so sweet.. walked me back to staffroom haha. i think this is my worst failure.. cannot out-talk these 2 guys. no actually i did manage to start on q5 of tut but they informed me that mrs lim had already gone thru that qn.. and the rest of the qns are quite easy la so i also didn't insist on explaining.
right.. then later on 1b. wah. no ohp. so i had to go to the nxt room to get one. and then most of the class was so stone. or not listening to me. and then after going thru lecture test, same thing happened "we have the answers already.. she said u were only going thru lecture test"
and it was 12.15 la! means i had like 40mins more to go. man. talk about feeling helpless. nobody had any questions.. so after feeling helpless for a few minutes i decided to write out questions on the board.. which half the class didn't bother to do.. luckily i had my file with me and used one of the kirchhoff laws questions.
ah i suddenly feel too tired to type anymore. maybe later. oh despite 3i being so terrible it was really funny actually.. i just hope they really do understand the tut answers..
oh dear. i think i'm really sad. and i also think i am the only person this could happen to. i went to the fridge, intending to get a drink (mix of guava lime n water) and ended up pouring vinegar into my cup instead of cold water. i didn't even realise until i tasted it and was wondering how come the lime is suddenly so sour. my mom was so appalled "it's so pungent! how did you do your chemistry prac?" aiyah it's not my fault they both look the same wat.. my mom recycles bottles and i asked "there're two bottles of water issit?" and she sed yeah (actually the other bottle of water was on the other end of the shelf)
anyway so i had to pour it away and now my mom's even more convinced i won't be able to take care of myself if i go off to US alone. and i also realised there's rather little time left before uni starts again. should go look up more courses. hmm. but lazy leh.
wah. i slept 10hours. wat a pig. i think i'm too pampered now. totally unused to lack of sleep/using my brain. though i did get to use it for a while until yesterday. and now for yesterday..
i think my first class was a dismal failure. because it was my first class and i wasn't particularly prepared. or rather a bit nervous. and they were all so stoned and yes i shouldn't have given them the answer sheet before going through lecture test.. and the large majority of the class didn't finish their tutorial. but i learnt some things. ie they'd rather listen to their classmates explain than me. and it's useful to have a class list to call names when they don't want to answer my questions. oh and at least there were a few people who did answer me (and assured me their class was always like that & "ma'am relax lah") so i didn't feel so idiotic standing in front wondering which question of tut they'd finished and etc. and found it rather pointless going through answers to tut when they already had the printed answers. so i let them off early.
and in btwn classes i was so bored.. alternated btwn talking to florrine/ser/aud/sarah/christine siew & sarah hiong.. got to watch mr chan's wedding video again haha. he's really amusing.. sarah "ur wife is v pretty"
mr chan "i noe"
and aud was like "wat?!" haha.
and later on ser was strangling me and i was growling at her not to bully me and mr chan "came to my rescue"and told her don't bully me and told me "u can give her a white slip!" and ser sed she'll colour it black. haha. so crazy. i was saying luckily no students can enter staffroom bcos we were behaving totally unlike tchers. and ser sed i look younger than my students. bah.
so yeah.. visited library.. scanned list of names at the general office.. ate lunch.. ser was indignant that dr chan n mr chan ch were sitting at the other end of the table. though i must say more like he's her favourite person to talk to although she keeps denying it. haha. i think she's going to kill me for this but too bad. yeah.. and then ser coerced me into going for chem lect w her, telling me that it's always very funny cos dr chan'll make silly jokes at the beginning and at the end.. but i got so bored i left after like 20mins+ haha. reliving j1 days (or rather, chem lectures) is more than i can take. oh n ms tan's really quite slim now.
oh and mr tan warned me that 3b's quite a naughty class so i'll hafta be a bit fiercer with them.. i think i must be the slackest teacher around cos i let them off early too.. but wat to do when they all didn't bring tutorials? i mean i did write out part of the question on the board for them to do but i also don't know if they did it..
they're v nice and friendly though.. it's quite funny having juniors call me ma'am. haha. but also quite fun. anyway yeah they're hilarious.. i was trying to think of how to explain the capacitor thing (which gave both me n florrine a huge headache, luckily i got mrs tan to explain to me later on..) and a few of the guys packed their bags and stood up and i was staring at them in astonishment.. so the guys were like "isn't class over already?" and i gave them an incredulous look and said "NO!" so they sat down again. -shakes head-
(and i realised i forgot to bring the tys to class haha luckily could remember most of the question since it was mostly definitions) and another one of the guys was so cute.. asked which tut? emi issit? cmi la.. so i told him if don't go thru tut today ur common test will also be cmi.. so they were like cannot get 4a's issit? (cos they asked me earlier on wat i got for a's) and i sed no i didn't say that!
yeah and there was steph and my church junior in the class (she claims she nearly screamed when she saw me in class haha.. exactly why i didn't tell her yesterday i was going to teach her class;p) darn now that i think about it i shouldn't have told denise c/kp/fenglin either.. it wud've been funnier.. oh well. and now my dearest buddy wants to come and crash my tut on friday.. speaking of him.. haha.. when asked why he went to run yesterday he said he was fat. haha i've never heard anything like that from a guy.. and he also explained to me the difference btwn "fat" and "flab" (flab is unseen fat so it's worse). i've never been so amused.
so visited choir.. john's so funny too.. begging me to swop classes so i'll teach his class.. i'm so thankful i'm not teaching 3c/3f/1a/1c/whichever other class who has phys shens which i haven't heard of.. i think florrine's teaching them.. dunno. wonder who took over hon.
and kp if u read this u'd better return me my carboxylic acid notes on thurs/fri.. grr.
didn't stay for choir though. i realised despite my 2 years (okay, more like 1+year) i don't really know choir pple very very well. as in both the current j2s and j3s. quite sad lar. but come to think of it i don't know my classmates particularly well either. think i'm still closer to sec sch frens and even then, we've drifted apart somewhat too. okay this is getting too depressing i will not end up in the same state as i was on saturday.
o i saw ms low n she was asking me abt choir pple's results.. and whacked me when i said a lot of their names are on the board downstairs. haha. oops. anyway, now i truly realise how hard it was to teach our class when nobody wanted to say anything. more regrets.
aaargh. i wish i'd started revising earlier. haha. this is worse than lecture test/common test la. given that i haven't touched my stuff for like 3 FULL months. groan. when i go uni in july/sept the same thing will happen. augh. i'm appalled. i can literally hear the gears in my brain (or what's left of it) turning and grating against each other! so rusty and so slow. and everything's very very fuzzy. horrifying really. anyway i'd better go back to stimulating my brain to gain momentum if not i'll never get to sleep at this rate.
sigh and my mom has to talk about results again and my s papers. what can i say? i should've done more about them since the beginning of the year? and i regret a lot of things? or should i say, having not done a lot of things? what's the point? i can't do anything about that now. i wonder what my predicted grades were.
on further reflection i thank god that i did okay and now am just praying for an excellent uni and scholarship.. who cares about a levels once i've gotten those..
hoho now my mom tells me my dad regrets letting me join choir. so she asked me "do u regret joining choir?" and after that "everyone thinks i can do better than my bro". which i evidently didn't. in a way. i'll never match up to him so what's the point.. let's predict my future.. i'll get rejected by all my us unis and end up staying here.. or maybe i won't get into any course here either and end up going somewhere else.. yay.. sorry i'm just rather bitter now.
oh and she thinks they (as in parents) didn't tell me what they expected (for s papers) that's why i didn't achieve. aside from that being ridiculous (because i have my own goals), that also hurts. and then she just asked me whether i knew what my dad expected from me. to which i replied i didn't really think about that.
maybe it's easier to work for something when you're doing it for someone else? but no i don't think so. it's like a replay of my higher chinese in sec 4.. felt like i let down my tuition tcher and my hcl tcher (who's v sweet and said she thought i deserved better). well i suppose at least i din let my gp tcher n tuition tcher down this time.
so tomorrow there's church and everyone'll be asking again.. i hope i get thru that in one piece cos i still have to come home and revise physics which i still haven't done. on another note, this is so ironic. i never thought i'd have this 2nd child syndrome or watever you call it. but i'll just forget it after a while, the way the water slips off a duck's back. i think i'm rather unfeeling sometimes. imagine a heart of stone. okay sorry being melodramatic here, exaggeration is always fun.
don't worry about me, i'll just pick myself up and go on. as always.
the incredibles soundtrack is nice.
lala. i feel much better after a loooong nap in the afternoon. i think i slept at least 4 hours haha. pig. felt so cheated having to wake up early and drag myself down to the bus stop on my painful feet and in the end nothing came out of it.. oh well..
oh. except the minor detail that my chair somehow crashed down and caused my specs to become deformed. bah. i suppose it's time to change specs anyway since that's the older pair. but was rather annoyed when i woke up.
the dolphin show was so nice. well okay not particularly but watching shows improves my mood mostly. i think. and oh i just realised how the AJC guy's results are really good esp considering his condition. makes one feel small.
yeah am going to be rather busy.. aah i still haven't revised my phys!: help.
on reflection i realised my last post was all on results. yeah i don't really know what to make of my results, depends how you look at it i guess. and i don't know if i disappointed pple and somehow that affects me quite a bit. i wonder what my predicted grades were heh. wonder if they were the same as what i got.
now.. i was thinking about something else that was slightly depressing but now i can't remember what exactly it was. must be the effect of the looong day. just was rather moody the 2nd half of today. so didn't talk v much. aiyah somehow that always happens to me.. bad habit. habit? okay i'm confusing myself, i should go sleep. and think about what's bothering me before that.
let me recount the whole day. the narrative mode begins:
got to work a bit late. did my mindless form-sorting and stapling.. for once i was glad that it was a mindless job cos i was getting rather worked up while waiting for ser to call. and when she told me my results i was thinking hmm that was the least i was praying for. so well. but of cos i wud hope for better. so nvm. and oh. i really think i trust people too easily. so gullible. now i realise it really wasn't possible. unless it was a different thing altogether. another disillusion. maybe i'm wrong anyway, i don't know.
okay i just realised my recounting isn't going to be very long cos i don't feel like recounting a lot anymore. well.. saw chernise 1st.. (w a whole bunch of guys haha) then kp.. then fenglin in the hall and denise.. all the pple i'm going to teach. ah well. should be fun i hope.. and i've to go revise phys haha
and then i got my result slip and looked. to make sure serene told me the correct thing. huge irony. when i saw mrs cheong before results were given out she was like "u noe ur results already rite?" while fiona candice siewjin etc were still worrying. and i said yeah, serene told me. so i looked at my slip and realised she got the order wrong. so hmm hurry up n call mom again.
i kind of prefer knowing my results earlier. saves me the torture. anyway that's immaterial now. ah i wanted to rant about something but don't feel like it anymore.. and also dont' feel like describing anymore stuff so i shall go sleep soon.
augh. i'm terrified of tomorrow. somehow this is way way worse than o's. wait. i feel a sense of deja-va aka i've already said this yesterday. i wish for tomorrow to bring me a pleasant surprise. or pleasant surprises in the plural would be good too. but it doesn't seem like i'd had a pleasant surprise for a long while. o level results were definitely not pleasant, although my english grade was sufficiently surprising, although i felt slightly uneasy after the compo paper.
and i also hope for pleasant surprises for us uni apps. and scholarship apps too for that matter but anyway, uni's more on my mind at the moment. yeah but it doesn't seem like that will happen either. right so i'm terribly blue now. more like looking thru black-tinted glasses? haha. help.
anyway, i got "sacked" cos they didn't want me to take 3 days leave nxt week. or if you want a euphemism (given by my mom), they decided to "terminate my services". i don't really care actually, i don't foresee doing very interesting/useful stuff in that dept. and i'd much rather go back to rj nxt week to teach. so there. at least i got a week in the bank. haha. i suppose if i stayed on i'll probably learn more in time to come.. but nevermind.
besides that, i don't really see what's so indispensable about someone who sorts forms in numerical order/staples fax confirmations to forms. esp for only 3 days. but there, i'm in no position to comment, maybe they wud have given me more important stuff to do when the pregnant lady disappears. no use speculating, i shall just enjoy myself next week, if "enjoy" be the correct word.
haha poor serene still hasn't gotten her bday present. but i think i can promise to bring it on monday:) and mr chan's wedding video! haha i'm so glad his hair is short now. and i didn't finish watching it cos mrs tan came looking for me (oops). he told me good luck (or bao3 zhong4? i forgot) when i told him i was teaching j2s. oh and mr chan ty told me "u'll see sarah next week" actually ser already told me but anyway. it'll be fun! haha. 4 of us frm the same class.. and then there's hon florrine hanyan liangsi christine sarah-hiong. at least i think they're still around.
i have just counted and realised there're at least 4 choir juniors whom i will be teaching. erps. s12a, so1b, so3b, so3i, so3j, so6a, so6f. if any of you read this, you'd better not call me clar when i'm teaching! i'm ms lin for the week! -stares- speaking of which we saw mr hodge when we went down to general office to register some stuff and mrs tan told him we were relief-teaching. he stared at us for a while and went "u all look too young to be teaching! -pause- go and get yourselves a shawl or something!" haha. tt'll never work for me tho. i can't look old (or mature, whichever) no matter how i try to dress up.
luckily i have only brainless work (as usual) to do tomorrow if not i'll be making mistakes all over the place while i wait for ser to call me:s augh
haha. it turned out to be quite a happy day after all! i was rather disgruntled in the morning though. had no idea where the shuttle bus was supposed to stop (and therefore missed the first one without knowing, how was i supposed to know that bus went to carrefour when its covering was "amazing thailand" or watever their punchline is?) and had to walk in the rain to try and figure out where in the world the singapore explorer bus/trolley stopped.
anyway, upon walking back to near the mrt i saw this long line of pple queueing and asked and yeah.. suntec bus. the woman i asked was like "u need a pass". wat rot. the HR person told me yesterday that those 2 shuttles didn't need a pass. and anyway for the bus that goes directly to millenia walk, you don't need to show ur pass either. who's so wu liao to check? when everyone's either rushing to work or rushing to go home. i didn't bother anyway.
and yes, i finally got my access card. yeah! no more prisoner-clar. haha. so, i was again late for work (what's new) glad is hilarious.. when i was telling her abt how i have been late the 1st 2 days, she msged back and said "oh i'm late every day. it don matter la you have to test the limits of your boss!" rofl. that girl is really.. cos i was asking her why she said (a long time ago) that her lunch break can be for any length of time..
anyway i took a shorter lunch to make up, not that it mattered cos nobody gave me work until i decided to go and ask around. and today, -taadaa- i did more stapling and even more sorting! i must be very good at looking at numbers and arranging them. actually on the contrary, i think i'm getting worse cos i start mixing up numbers cos i'm seeing too many.
luckily i was talking to aud today. anyway, i will get to teach at rj after all.. haha:D am taking 3 days off from the bank nxt week! waha. but i figured since i'm taking off nxt week i'd better work half day on friday to appease the HR gal. who wasn't very pleased to start with but too bad, it's not my problem if they give me rubbishy things to do.. i mean, it's not like i'm really taking over the pregnant woman.. i'm just doing various odd jobs which other pple (mainly the 2 guys, hmm) don't want to do. i think the HR person has the wrong idea. she seems to think i'm learning a lot of stuff and therefore will be a replacement when mrs pregnant goes off.
my boss (okay, he's the manager of remittance dept so i suppose one could call him my boss) is so easy to talk to haha. i told him i wanted a week off at first and he was like sure, after results got stuff to settle, no problem, just go tell the HR dept. (who wasn't as amiable but nvm)
lala. the only dark cloud. or few clouds, including uni app results which actually don't come up till april but still. so the only dark cloud as of now is results on friday. wat if i screwed up phys? and then still go and teach j2s phys? that'll be a huge joke.
when aud msged me in the morning i started worrying all over again and wondered how/why i lulled myself into this false sense of security that everything'd be alright/perfect. bah. if a miracle occurs, maybe, remembering how many papers/questions i screwed up. groan. it's way worse than o's. given that it determines uni entry. in a way. and scholarships. and i don't even know if i still want dbs.
heh. 1st day at bank. well well well. prepare for the barrage of complaints. first of all i was late for work cos i couldn't figure out where the building was so had to walk extra distance. not that it mattered, since the HR person in charge of me came at 9.30 so i had to stone around for 10mins.
anyway. centennial tower has crazy security. you need a card to get into the lift lobby (and to get out of it). and then sumitomo itself has even crazier security. you need a card to get into many of the departments (and even to get out of the office, which i find is totally ridiculous).
and i'm so fortunate to be working in the remittance department which is enclosed because the management decided that since remittance includes payment of funds and stuff, they should be partitioned off from the other staff. so you need a card to get into the remittance room too. it's rather like a prison, esp when you don't have a card on the 1st day like me. i tried to go out as little as possible so i didn't have to bother my colleagues to open the door for me.
yes. so, when i first stepped into the remittance dept, nobody knew what i was supposed to do. so the gal who received me (called elene) decided to seat me in a corner. but the others said i'd be too cold, so i shifted 2 more times.
and, finally, my first assignment came. arrange fax confirmations in running order! how delightful. i think i got a little cross-eyed staring at the numbers and wondering if i saw the wrong thing.
next assignment, 2 stacks of stapled forms with a little sheet labelled "pending" - take out the little sheets and staple the forms back together! fabulously interesting. now i know why glad complained about "the stupid shits make me move boxes and type millions of small data". i shall just hope it improves, if not i shall quit.
alright i think that's all the complaining i shall do. my colleagues are actually quite nice, they're more predisposed to talking to me than my ex-colleagues somehow. maybe they're younger or something, i don't know. or maybe they're not managers. or maybe cos the concept is different, managers don't sit in a separate room.
anyway they were so cute, kept asking me if i brought a jacket/wanted one.. i think they suffered hugely yesterday cos the aircon was just diverted to their remittance room and it was super cold for the morning until the guys came to fix it in the afternoon. elene's hilarious, she had to bundle herself up to guard against the cold and complained when anyone asked her to do stuff that required moving from her seat cos she'd just arranged her shawl over her lap to her liking and felt warm n cosy.
yeah i finally got my gic app done and submitted. happily:) their office is SO gorgeous. the whole of capital tower actually, i should suppose. and calyon is there. french bank or something. sigh.
oh and my boss (as in the boss of the remittance dept) has a daughter my age. wat is it with my getting bosses with children my age? who aren't frm rj but that's besides the point. but it's gd too i guess heh. they'll understand what it's like.
alright i've let off enough steam. oh i haven't complained about the person who called me and scolded me for sounding lackadaisical/lacklustre/bored/unenthusiastic. man. just after just two sentences n i get scolded? what did she expect me to do? shout in joy?? i happen to be in an office for gdness' sakes. gah. after one hour of taking out staples and restapling i'm not really in the best of moods. but yeah it is true i probably should try to sound more lively on the phone.
i forgot to add that i have no computer!:( or rather i don't have a login and all. sigh. so tragic. and my current chair is not as comfy as the one in my last company! sigh. no headrest. actually that chair was koped frm my ex-boss' office so that's why it's nice and comfy. aiyah. i really only appreciate things when they're gone.
oh i think joss stone's voice is quite nice. her songs are growing on me. k that sounds like i've some funny disease but nvm.
i was going to start swearing about having an awful day but watching virginia's run on HBO made me happier. although the plot was too perfect and therefore rather ridiculous. like a fairytale sort of thing. hmm. how do i put it. the characters were over-stereotyped, the plot was.. too simple to be true. yeah. augh. my language ability is deserting me. my vocabulary has gone into a downward spiral. i would like to blame it on all the people whom i've been meeting lately who don't speak english very well but nevermind.
so let me describe my horrible day.
1. didn't think properly about my gic app and happily went to sleep after reading james herriot. so.. ended up having to postpone submission of my app (which is super late as it is), cos i didn't finish filling up the form nor did i photostat all the certs. actually i could've foregone lunch w pam n lijia (and gone to photostat the certs and submit my app) but decided i mite not end up working at china square central so better meet them today.
2. yeah so when i got to the mrt station i wasn't in a very angelic mood. and my mom had to point out that i was going to miss the train cos it was in plain sight at the platform n i hadn't gotten out of the car yet. fine. had a headache in the train.
3. guy frm [recruitment agency 1] called to tell me details of another job interview at [company 1]. and i didn't have a pen so i had to memorise everything he told me. which thankfully i managed to. and quickly typed it into my phone. although it didn't matter in the end anyway.
4. got to raffles place mrt, got out at the wrong exit. or maybe it was the correct one, just that i didn't know where china square central was thanks to all the tall buildings around obstructing my view. and i didn't recognise any of them. so i was frantically scurrying around (as fast as i could on heels)
5. found out both pam n lijia couldn't make it for lunch so was walking around.. met chris! how fun:) with laura and someone else..
6. returned to the china square central building, tried to call the [company 1] pple cos i was very sure i couldn't make it there (the company's at tuas) by 3pm but no one answered.
7. so heck, went up to surpasser pte ltd. and met lijia! another coincidence. she'd just come back frm buying her office supplies. haven't seen her in ages:) and then i finally continued my journey to surpasser.
8. was waiting to watch video at surpasser and then finally managed to watch it and then halfway gal frm [recruitment agency 2] called and offered me the bank job.. 3 months assignment. which started more problems
9. now i can't teach at rj.. i was kind of looking forward to it.. but e gal said they wouldn't let me disappear off for a week. and if i don't take it i don't know if i can get another job. and this is 3 months at least so i'm kind of settled for the moment. sigh.
10. anyway, so i went back and finished the video.. all the while i was frantically trying to think of names of pple who mite possibly be able to replace me for teaching. and msging them not-so-surreptitiously
11. after that, the guy who was supposed to tell me about working hours and pay if i joined surpasser was still not available so i had to talk to some other guy and hear about his experiences. all the while i was squirming and still wondering if anyone could replace me. which carried on even while i was listening to explanations about commission and such.
12. so finally i got myself out of the office and thankfully skittered off (and got a bit lost) and conveniently forgot about the [company 1] thing until later when the guy frm [recruitment agency 1]] called up to scold me. oops. but the way my mom put it last time when i was calling up to cancel interviews.. she said they'll normally have quite a few people to interview so missing one wouldn't matter. so i took her word for it and hardened my heart.
13. actually i also figured it was past 3 by the time i got out of surpasser so wat to do.. call up the guy and tell him sorry i can't make it for the interview? then i'll get scolded for calling late too wat. watever la. i don't care anymore. i actually felt quite bad for the moment when he was scolding me. "my client spent 3 hours waiting for u!" but after that my common sense returned and i decided nobody would sit there just waiting. but yeah i should have called la. it's also not my fault my phone happened to be low on battery today and i was constantly in fear of the unthinkable happening i.e. my phone switching off on me. maybe i should have bought the holster charger. gah.
14. anyway, whatever, made my way to raffles place mrt again, down to [recruitment agency 2] to get timesheets (wat a horrible system) and sign stuff. to top it off, by the time i came down, it was raining. really heavily. waited around for a bit, couldn't stand it anymore, plus decided rain was slightly lighter, so i walked in the rain to tanjong pagar mrt. cold wet and angry. not a very good combination. at least it was time to go home. but on the mrt i got the scolding-call so that didn't help much.
heck i'm finally home and there's the silly 9pm show to watch in a bit. i realised i really don't appreciate things i have when i have them. things always look better when you look back. but there were times at total when i felt like i could just burst with the boredom/not being able to talk? don't know. so, off to sumitomo bank tomorrow, i hope i get a good experience there and that giving up the teaching was well-worth-it. if not. well. nevermind, this is my 2nd job i'm sure i'll do a better job of learning stuff and talking to pple. hopefully there'll be nice french guys too? haha. i shouldn't hope for too much.
i also just remembered i met sya while i was frantically rushing back to raffles places mrt! such a nice surprise too:) met so many pple by accident today. and all pleasant:) that kind of makes up for all the rest of the horrible parts i guess.
okay main complaints of the day:
1. not finishing my gic app
2. no lunch w pam n lijia (and reaching there late too)
3. being stuck at surpasser while having to worry about so many things
4. multiple job offers which overwhelmed me
5. not being able to teach at rj anymore
6. phone on low batt
7. not being able to contact company 1 and recruitment agency 1 (and getting scolded later)
8. parents telling me conflicting things abt choosing btwn bank job and relief teaching
i think that's about it.
met cheukka yesterday! such a silly girl:D haha and she's so unashamed of being vain.. okay let's hope she never reads this. reminds me a bit of lydia somehow. actually it is good.. not to be afraid of being yourself. yes. that is what i meant. i think sometimes i'm afraid to do something. and sometimes i'll just be like don't-care attitude and do whatever i want. mood swings huh.
anyway watched a v long engagement. it was also a v long show, come to that. 2h14mins i think. the actor's quite cute! haha. gaspard ulliel. but face a bit long or sth. don't know. and his name reminded me of ravel's gaspard de la nuit.
in any case it's quite a gd show.. just that i wish they hadn't spent so much time showing us her travelling. it got quite boring looking at the car winding thru the roads/the train screaming. but there were so many twists in the storyline! and i never knew trenches looked like that. evidently descriptions in books aren't particularly accurate. or maybe i didn't read the descriptions properly. and the explosions and no man's land. it must have been cos i haven't watched war movies before. or maybe it's cos i've read a bit on world war 1 and nothing like that ever entered my imagination.
really brought home the horror of war. esp when my batchmates are in ns. -remembers serene telling me abt her poor beh digging trenches-
let me see.. yeah we had a nice dinner at swensens.
on a side note i just remembered something to do with meeting up. it's funny sometimes how i want to see my friends for a long time, and when i finally see them i feel like i have nothing to say. there must be something very wrong with me.
and today aside from slacking at home and reading, i went to china square central for this job interview. well, looks like i'll be trying out sales. i think my heels are too high, both the guys who interviewed me were shorter than me. haha. oops. anyway. yes i was going to say.. it's such an irony.. let me list all the things i thought i didn't want/wouldn't do but want/ended up doing anyway.. here goes..
1. last yr when peiying asked me if i wanted to do accounting for 6 months i said no cos i didn't want to be tied down for so long, wanted to try more things. now i kind of wish i had a "permanent" job cos it saves me a huge lot of trouble looking for internships/jobs (and getting rejected/no replies).
2. last yr when ser asked me if i wanted to do relief teaching at rj i said no cos i didn't want to teach, thought it was super boring (and was sick of anything to do with education) when i was at work it was boring too and now i'm wondering if i should have taken that up, ended up registering with moe anyway..
3. this yr when i was thinking about jobs i didn't want to do data entry cos it sounded so boring. now i realise it's one of the few things a level students can do so i haven't much of a choice anyway
4. just a few weeks/days ago i was convinced i wasn't going to do sales and persuade pple to buy stuff cos 1 i hate being bugged by pple therefore 2 i hate bugging pple too, but now it seems like i'm going to do that anyway.
yeah. that's just for the moment, i'm sure there'll be more coming up. my mom marvels at my cynicism about working cos i told her it's just a way to torture oneself cos i can't think of anything i'll really want to do, everyth'll be boring. and she was like "but u're so young! everything should be exciting!" which is right i suppose. i should learn from ever-cheerful pple. sometimes i'm so lazy i can't stand myself. haha.
anyway.. lunch w lijia n pam on monday! yay:D
gah. i think i'm probably going to end up looking for a job until i go to rj to teach for that one week, and then go on looking for another job. this is why 6-month-long jobs are good. which i didn't realise until now. o well. it's v tiresome looking for jobs, signing up all over the place and going for "interviews" interminably.
anyway besides that.. haha i was frantically trying to decide if my bio or phys was worse yest cos aud asked if i wanted to do j1 bio (as compared to j2 physics) but i didn't defect over in the end. hopefully i survive alright. am mortally afraid of a physics shen (like a yz) asking me stuff i don't know.
ohhh and i got to go jurong library:) besides the fact that my feet were hurting quite a bit by that time from walking all over the place. and i lugged 5 books home! whee~ fortunate enough to find a new gerald durrell book! haha. much as i like reading them i still really hate insects. don't know how he can play with them and enjoy it.
and i ended up borrowing gone with the wind! haha. rather unlike me actually i don't think i read romance novels much. but since it's supposed to be the greatest love story. i'm not sure i liked it very much though. why was scarlett so stupid? oh she reminded me a little of emily of emerald hill though. the striving after power part and losing almost everything in the end.
i hate filling up forms. yay it's finally done. and i have another crappy "interview" to go for.
was in a terrible terrible mood in the morning. woke up late, cancelled interview. arranged for another one, realised the place was super ulu, cancelled it again. realised i wouldn't be able to make it for another job, cancelled that too. blah. full of crap. and mom kept going on abt choosing something meaningful or at least worthwhile to do. it's not like i don't want to find something, it just isn't that easy. or maybe i haven't been trying hard enough. but nvm, hopefully jane's contact will get me something good:)
anyway, went for the lunchtime concert. quite cool lar but i think last week was slightly more fun.. i like drums a lot! but then i think they only sound good as an accompaniment to the music.. nxt time if my cousin gets a drum set i'll ask her to play for me and see how it sounds heh:p
and had a v v yummy lunch w candice. and we met sarah by coincidence at suntec nydc! so qiao:) but haven't seen her in ages so it was good:) i don't know how we managed to while so much time away but i got home quite late oops
had a nice time! yay:) suddenly i feel like taking up tennis w fiona. but 1st must wait for her to come back frm korea so i can ask. and our dance classes which i forgot when they were supposed to start. hmm. or if they're still on, for that matter.
i wonder what it's like to be really really good at something. a feeling i'll never be able to experience, so it seems. i guess there're always pple better than u. o well. reality of life.
oh speaking of which i may actually finish compiling my quotes soon!:D then i'll hafta type them out. and i don't think i should send -all- of them to everyone. i'll think about that.
heh yesterday i went to help invigilate for srp aptitude test. was quite interesting actually it was just 2 years ago that i was in their place and then now i'm invigilating. and met chanty n dr chan. it's been a long time... and i recognised one junior.. she is so different from when i was psl of her class.. i remember she had quite short hair and etc.. now her hair is so long.. and rebonded i think.
i'm glad the deadline is tmr. chiong tonight and submit tmr.. yeah..
aiyah i wonder what happens if i can't get a job soon. and i also realised anew there're only 2 weeks left to results. groan. of cos it'll be nice to see everyone again, but in what circumstances is another thing.
i also have yet to buy myself new shoes and new bag. maybe i'm too picky.
oh! today i was at j8 and saw this pool "tournament" thing going on. some of them are actually quite lousy haha. or maybe i'm overcritical. but o well.
i think it was a nice day after all:) okay not really after all. it was really nice meeting so many people today:) lemme see.. first jane then lyd came along (aft having spent $10 to cab cos she was late) then kahli then pam + mingjing then chris then met lynette + yingling. yep. lots of lovely pple! and met laura by accident too! maybe one day we should have a huge rg gep gathering! hmmm that's an idea. but we'll probably have to book the whole restaurant or sth. heh. maybe the next holiday or something.
ah yes and then contacted two other nice pple. at least my ideal of my nice french guy isn't shattered. i think. anyway, clar is feeling happy right now:)
it's quite stressful applying for all these jobs, keep having to worry about whether i can hear my handphone ring (and leeting laughed at me yest cos i held up my bag up to my ear to see if the ringing was frm my phone or other pple's phones). oh!! which reminds me, today when i was on the bus, there was this guy (i suspect he just bought the phone, that's why he was so fascinated with it. at least i hope so.) who tested out =all= the ringtones on the samsung e800c. which incidentally is the phone that i have. therefore i recognised all the ringtones. and it was getting rather annoying. reminded me of this article which said something about testing out all the ringtones on your phone in public. to do with phone etiquette. well. that certainly applied here.
lala. i really hope i get the job i want. and hopefully it turns out to be as good as i think. aiyah but they might not even shortlist me so tragic. oh!! just now the employment agency called up to ask if i would be interested in working at BP. haha. well.. if i get it i can tell my ex-boss (and ex-colleagues) i'm now working for their rival. and clar will soon become an expert at oil. -does the queenly wave- but i tell u, if they make me compile sales data again i will really go mad.
anyway, will see what happens. now back to my mooncakes.
today's dinner was fun! haha haven't seen kahli and yingling in ages.. silly pple:) and the food was good of cos:D and then i instigated them to eat gelato. k maybe not instigated, but i wandered over there to look:) and then kahli first accused me of making her fat, then accused poor yingling.
and working w leeting is funny. i mean, when i'm spouting nonsense. haha. haven't laughed so hard in many moons. which reminds me, i saw lots of stars tonight! so lovely:)