haha today's class was funny. i feel quite bad actually keep laughing and not listening properly. but i can figure out for myself wat he's trying to say. and i write down watever which makes sense/answers the qn. and then i dunno lar.. just don't like it when tchers don't prep properly b4 coming in and then end up with us all confused. okay to be fair i think he did his best but well just realised i get quite annoyed by inept tchers. i suppose at least if you try yr best that'll be the minimum to do.
anyway i really wonder if they didn't laugh that much last week. and if so because i wasn't around. oh well. but really.. it's not my fault eunice comes n tells us about her picture bible with the picture of the beam in a boy's eye a.k.a. a branch sticking out of the boy's eye with LEAVES! hahaha. daryl decided it'll be a tree. so i asked "where'll the roots go?" and they came up with all sorts of gruesome possibilities. like roots wrapping around the eyeball and all that. they're so cute. anyway the laughing put me in a gd mood haha so am happy now! now to attack math s. hais.
oh i suddenly dreamt of rg last nite must be cos of em's post. anyhow i miss mrs kwan so much. i think it's because she really cares. and she believes in you when you don't believe in yourself. which happens so many times in jc it's difficult to count. when everything comes crashing down. even tho we used to complain abt her nagging in rg now it's different. not that mrs cheong's not nice.. she's probably the best ct one could hope for:) oh n i miss laoshi too. all the times i had extra lessons with her heh.
anyway better take advantage of my good mood and go attack my math s with a vengeance. thanks to everyth who msged to tell me to take care! feel much much better and can eat properly liao tho still not v much:) which is also good. haha.
hmm. i wonder wat everyone's doing now. for at least half of my batchmates' prelims are over.. it doesn't feel like that to me. anyway. i must say i derived some sort of sadistic pleasure [for a while.. after tt it got too painful haha] frm seeing the numbers on my thermometer skip and wondering how far it would go. so the highest i reached was 39.1! fantastic huh. and half the time i don't even noe when i've a fever. most interesting. like i'll just be thinking "okay my head hurts wat's new" and then mom will come n touch my forehead and exclaim n make me take my temp.
oh yeah and wed nite was awfully torturous, stomach was so queasy i couldn't sleep properly.. for the 1st 4 hrs formulae were chasing themselves around my head.. dreamt tt i cudn't do my chem/math s prelims nxt week.. so finally woke up and ended up vomitting. spontaneous expulsion. and after that still couldn't sleep properly cos my feet were numb. weirdly. finally went to see doc the nxt morning cos i cudn't eat/drink anyth w/o vomitting..
injection helped, medicine did too. the wonders of medicine. within 15mins of taking the fever medicine my temp went down! ah. anyway. hope bio was alrite even tho i was still slightly woozy:s i spent most of yest sleeping i think. had to wake up early to study [with a headache again n didn't noe i had a fever until mom came along haha i'm quite hopeless]
spent most of yesterday and today sleeping. haha. such a pig. o well.
i wish i could just throw down everyth and go somewhere else. WHY does this have to happen.. i can practically see all the horrible grades now.. it also doesn't help that shaun told me tt paper 2 chem's spposed to be harder than paper 3. which was actually supposed to be easy. therefore i'm even more dead. and chem s? haha. forget about it. i can see why serene wanted to get into an accident b4 prelims haha.
biotech. it also wud have been okay if i'd looked thru industrial biotech last night instead of flipping thru this morning. n focussing so much on med last nite. cos i ended up mixing up the microorganisms. so my essay's totally screwed. and i din write abt disadvantages of enzyme immobilisation. but how else? i dunno if i cud have remembered 8m worth of seed bank or crap out 12m worth of ethics in biotech. maybe i cud. then there's another wrong decision. seem to have no lack of them nowadays.
i really dread the weeks after prelims. which equals to time to get back results. i can't bear to not improve frm last common tests but now it seems so impossible. talk about nightmares of all the worst case scenarios. n i'll still have to pull myself back to study for sats. actually if i get horrible results there won't be much point doing sats. hmm. waste $$ only. n i'm in desperate need of sleep.
this is not the 1st time i wish we cud fast foward to nxt yr sept in an ideal situation: time to go off to some nice uni.
bah. so far i think math was the only okay paper. now that i think about it, i've no idea wat i've been doing for the past 2(?) months. i thought i was revising but can't seem to remember much, everyth's so fuzzy.
chem was a disaster. was really in the depths of despair yesterday. bio wasn't much better. even though i thought it ought to have been better after all the time i spent catching up [and neglecting chem and i'm going to pay for that. a really high price. considering i conveniently forgot chem dept sets the most killer papers] my stupidity astounds me. i really don't noe wat's wrong.. maybe i didn't practise enough or sth. then wat've i been doing? don't know.
yeah and now time management problem is back. i thought i'd figured that out for the last 2 common tests but now its a whole new format and everyth's back where it began. last yr's common test. my prelim grades had better be much better than those grades though. it's like zhini said. u walk out of the exam hall and "rite. so that was a prelim paper." a.k.a. superbly dead. don't know what to do. all the papers seem so screwed up. n i still have 2.5 more weeks to go.
and s papers! haha. those i'm even more dead for. i really need divine intervention... wanna quit sch now
bah. don't feel particularly well yet my thermometer tells me i'm fine. general malaise. maybe it's the haze haha. everyone was sniffing today. well alot of pple anyway.
anyway i felt kind of sorry for bible class tcher today.. his 1st time teaching us and the lesson seemed to be turning into a joke. he was teaching on sin and suddenly came up with a proverb on how "you can't stop the bird from shitting on you but u can stop it frm building a nest on ur head". now what that was supposed to illustrate still eludes me, but it was really funny somehow. and i wonder where it originated from [if it is a true proverb hum] if anyone knows please enlighten me
and then later he started talking about how an egg has microscopic holes in the shell.. for wat? jasmine ventures an explanation : to respire? which set me off in a fit of silent laughter again. partly cos i didn't noe why he suddenly mentioned an egg, and partly bcos i suddenly visualised this egg living and breathing [excluding the embryo i mean]. sort of reminded me of tjh's qn in sec 4 abt whether babies had gills to breathe.
anyway so later one of my bible classmates remarked in an undertone "does he like birds a lot? just now talk abt birds, now talk abt eggs". helpless laughter. n e fren nxt to me [who happens to be called daryl haha] apologised for killing me [by making me laugh at various silly things such as complaining tt she was hungry aft he mentioned eggs and wanting to volunteer to read verses in a dramatic manner - apparently she's in drama club so hmm okay]
yeah i thought we weren't being v gd students. like. were laughing at his pronunciation sometimes which actually is kind of unfair but o dear cudn't help it. enticed became "enteesed" and such. feel quite bad abt it lar i cudn't stop laughing half the time. hopefully he didn't notice:s
oh yar and last week another tcher told us about how some pple have mysterious lord's supper. they apparently have lord's supper in a garden. they go and hide in the bushes. and run out and take the lord's supper and rush back into the bushes. cos last time christians were persecuted they had to hide in the caves [somewhere in hebrews] so they commemorate it or sth. his description was quite graphic. said they find it very exciting.
i guess my imagination was particularly graphic cos i was the most amused. i mean. thinking of pple crouched in the bushes, bright and beady-eyed like chipmunks waiting for their chance to steal nuts, scurrying out and back into the safety of the bushes.
okay i hope i didnt insult anyone here. one never knows.
ohh the french choir show was quite nice.. tho i thot they shud have gone for a competition like sister's act but well. yeah. kinda similar to sister's act actually. and when i heard the choir.. was swamped by this bout of choir-sickness. and the boy sop! ahh. i mean not perfect but so crystal clear.
hais. bio was actually an okay paper. if i'd prepared adequately for it. and read instructions properly. can't believe i didn't suspect something was wrong with the hydrogen peroxide-filter paper expt and ended up faking results. [faked wrongly sort of.. given that my timings were totally off] well maybe they'll give me sympathy marks.
seem to be taking this as just a prep. but i can't do that! bcos it matters! which my bro was trying to drill into me that day. aagh. i shall go take a nap. cheukka's rite, prelims wun matter nxt time. but rite now it certainly doesn't seem like it. esp when i manage to screw up everyth possible.
its so funny how pple used to say they wish i had my self discipline/patience. i don't feel like i possess either of these attributes anymore. maybe i used to 2 years ago. but now? nvm.. off i go to sleep
haha. so it just gets worse and worse. did i actually expect otherwise? *hollow laughs* well done clar u're definitely staying in spore if this goes on.. i'll probably have to get full marks for the rest of my papers rofl. which is impossible. so i'm done for. haha. yay!
oh raphael was hilarious.. while we were waiting for our shift in the hall then he was saying sth abt committing suicide if he couldn't do the chem prac.. [i.e. can't get the gas] break the burette and slash his wrist.. then fiona sed drink hexane.. haha.. then raphael said he'll switch on the gas tap.. "if i can't do the chem prac nobody will!" then later he improvised and said after switching on the gas tap he'll light the lighter [if that's the correct word] and boom! haha. no more sch. yay:)
anyway. so i made a superbly stupid mistake which will cost me at least 6 marks unless there's e.c.f. which is quite unlikely. and didn't finish the qa design. i think she sed we weren't spposed to write no visible reaction but i had no idea wat else to write. so maybe that's more marks gone. and then dunno how to present properly for kinetics reaction. qa didn't fill up quite a few of the deductions cos dunno wat's going on.. i've never seen bright green ppt in my life.. i mean okay fine there's blue frm copper and then wat else?? i don't think i've ever felt so desperate in my life [unless it was during phys prac last fri] when i got n = 34.
freak. i'm so dead. time to celebrate.
hmm most interesting day. firefly purposely puts the talks on education on germany/japan/china 1st so pple're forced to listen to them.. and then psc has like a 1.5 h video plus "talk-show by scholars" thingy and oh we're left off to have tea [curry puff n eclairs]. the ironic thing is that they keep trying to persuade pple to go overseas. of cos everyone wants to go overseas its a question of who can get in/who can get the means to go there... sigh.
and didn't really get to know about wat they actually do in the psc or in their various depts. okay besides the police guy who was quite detailed. ah. anyway.
after firefly mom picked me up and informed me that this guy came to get his comp repaired [apparently dad responded to some qn on a forum.. this guy wanted spare parts for a psion or sth] and brought his family along w/o informing my dad prior to it. actually i found it rather amusing at 1st tt my mom was faced with 3 extra pple to entertain but tt certainly changed when i got home.
so. opened the door and found 4 strangers in my house. -mildly annoyed- i mean isn't it like basic courtesy to tell pple [esp pple u don't even noe] u're gonna bring 3 extra pple along.. i've never heard of people bringing their family along to a stranger's hse.
so here we have 2 little boys [4 n 10 yrs old] who have nothing to occupy themselves with and therefore argue about which tv channel to watch [and make a lot of noise in the process] and a mom sitting on the sofa reading newspapers and a dad sitting at the dining table fiddling around with his phone. my house has been successfully invaded.
and then there was nothing for them to eat or drink or watever cos my mom din noe they were coming. n heard one of the boys say he wanted to open the fridge and find something to eat. erps. rite. at least they went off to the playground for a while. ended up eating lunch in bro's room. bah. on a side note i realised the illiad is really kind of hard to plough through. the overall storyline seems easier to understand heh.
anyhow they finally disappeared. yay. haha i sound so unhospitable. but really.. this is too much. like violation of human rights haha. maybe that's not the right word but i can't think of it at the moment. maybe i feel too strongly about stuff.
oh and i noe why i thought abt cirque du soleil. its like performance at its finest. but of cos behind the scenes there're lots of problems too just that you don't noe when you watch the show. all you see is the final product that has been honed to perfection. something i remembered from when i watched the making of varekai.
okay i've blogged such a long entry like there're no prelims better stop soon. am reading the nat'l day rally online and boy is spore gd at acronyms.. i've found 4 acronyms which i don't noe what they stand for.. and i'm hardly halfway thru reading. gets kind of annoying sometimes.
talk about a disastrous prac.. nightmare!!! arggh. i don't think i've ever had a worse one. stupid pendulum.. spent 20mins trying to tie the stupid thing [while sweating profusely cos fan wasn't on cos it was oscillations] and couldn't so i gave up n drew the table 1st.. went back to attacking the string and such.. in the end made so many mistakes.. such that after i discovered them i wrote them down so i'll remember not to do such stupid things for a level pracs. sigh.
watever.. i hope i do decently.. my dreams seem to be slipping away already with one exam down. haha. well done clar. oh and like andrew said.. phys prac is usually spposed to be the easiest.. and they kill us for it.. wat're chem n bio pracs gonna be like? n i haven't studied yet. *hollow laughs*
but it was quite cool lar today while we were waiting in LT5 someone frm jane's class taped singapore idol [hmm i keep typing american idol somehow] last nite n we watched a bit of it b4 being released. somehow i was thinking abt cirque du soleil. run away and join the circus! haha.
suddenly feel like listening to my enigma songs again. there's sth abt the drums/bass beat or watever u call it. wish i knew more abt music. ah well. i musn't be distracted now. having already screwed up 1 paper. oh and the guys sitting behind me were most annoying.. every sentence had to be punctuated with f- this n f- tt. unless i was imagining it. anyway i was tempted to throw something at them. like cursing and swearing is so cool. most disgusted. maybe cos the gp video was full of swear words too. watever..
just when i thought i'd gotten over it mom had to come and remind me of everyth all over again.. said she talked to my bro. which is so true. i don't have much to offer n for that i kind of regret. maybe i should just resign myself to my fate haha. moral of story [man i was going to type morale.. too much of dr chan.. haha] make e most out of jc life n don't regret at the end of your 2 years. i've never realised that so acutely until it really matters and it's too late.
weird how a few months before i'd just think i'll have a go at it and hope for the best. and now it seems so impossible. delayed reaction. maybe cos the prelims are so near and i'm so unprepared. and i noe i've said u shouldn't give up b4 trying if not half the battle's lost b4 u even begin & i do believe tt but sometimes it's unbelievably difficult to put it in practice.
it's times like these when i really wish we could just fast forward to nxt yr sept or sth n we'll be happily going off to uni [assuming best scenario]. maybe it's not good to want something too badly cos you'll be doubly disappointed when you fail.
of course i hope i'm worrying unnecessarily. is it possible? to turn a dream into reality.
ugh right speaker isn't working! so weird to have music just coming out from the left side.
feel so sorry for li jia wei. newspapers are full of how she cried aft the match and apologised and blah. and really i don't think we're in much of a position to critique the games in detail just after watching a couple of games. if that makes sense. i don't noe why i was so affected either.. maybe cos i agree w wat the preacher said yesterday abt it's easy to say stuff when u're not playing and not feeling the pressure and all that.
it was gd seeing [tan] jh pam n lyd today tho:) miss them lots. n funnily enough seems like mugging w classmates leads to more bonding somehow. come out with all the interesting questions that u need to rack ur brain to find ans to. or clarifying concepts at least. quite good:) at least company makes mugging less dreary. guess wat ruijie said that day was right. at least if i can't go out w my frens i still can see them ard sch/mug w them. better than nothing.
at least there's friends tonight. shall go eat dinner maybe food therapy helps haha i dun like eating much nowadays. unless its dessert:p
and i just remembered the word is inadequacy. i mean i remembered it some time ago but am only online to check the table tennis finals results.. at least china won. haha. today's bronze match was really the sound of inevitability. okay maybe not the sound. but i just felt tt it was inevitable somehow. oh well. it's over.
haven't blogged for a while. sigh. suddenly i'm reminded of my inadequateness [if there's such a word]. how? can't snap out of it. unhappiness probably compounded by yesterday's semi-finals heh. its funny how i'm so affected by olympics. mom's v puzzled as to why i'm suddenly watching olympics all the time. i guess its kinda like the epitome of perfection in sport. n i appreciate perfection. and my quill show was so sad.. i mean the front was nice n cute n funny but the back parts were tragic: but now i feel like getting a puppy! haha. get it when its a little baby.. so cute:)
okay tt made me feel just a teeny bit better. phys prelim prac on friday. i think i need divine intervention.. every prac i manage to screw up something.. chem qa is a disaster.. phys i always manage to do some calculation carelessly or sth.. bio.. always cannot finish. and i think i'm sinking deeper into this abyss. main papers? haha. my revision is half done. and am forgetting everything.
nvm maybe music'll help. but only for a while. and reality will come crashing back down. rite. talk about self pity haha so pathetic. shall stop it. shall try n get back to work.
haha i think i must be too dazed frm the whole day or sth.. can't believe i looked at serene's earthquake tag and wondered how come there was an earthquake in bishan. [tremors from indonesia?? hahaha. and bishan's in the middle of spore somemore. i'm really insane.] oh dear. well just means i need sleep:p which i'm not gonna get cos i've to go send the 3 m's off tmr at like 7-sth. groan.
ah anyway. yesterday. was actually fun! haha. w junwan n lijia n pingying:) have various quotes stored in my phone. ohhh how bout this..
py doing her s6 on jw's insistence "u didn't tell me u need MF11!"
jw, triumphantly [and v helpfully] "u need MF11!"
and in swensen's when we were having lunch.. [yeah went swensen's again cos i wasn't satisfied din get to eat topless 5 the day b4 haha:p] jw decides we should eat 3 topless 5's to get our money's worth cos the usual topless 5 costs $7. so lijia says "i noe how we can get home! walk!" haha. to burn off all the calories. but anyway it was really fun n hilarious:)
yeah. and today. was not bad i guess. given that the whole time they [3 church frens frm canada] were here i didn't go out with them oops. and the beginning part when they just arrived was quite awkward since i haven't seen them for 2 years. but today was quite okay. yup. i liked reading sherman's lagoon comics at mph haha. lots of mirth:D until jason [church fren frm rj choir! 3 yrs ago or sth.] decided i shud go there more often to destress. haha. and the village was kinda freaky at some parts. eeks. but it isn't that bad lar.. contrary to wat i heard.
oh yes i saw this movie advert at lido with this really really cute n sweet small lil puppy i shall watch the show!:) yay:) it's called quill or sth like that, coming out on 19th august. yippee~
just back. sigh i shudn't have called back so early.. then could have gone to eat icecream with the rest of them:) oh well.. another time. the food was quite good lar but the rest of the circumstances weren't. like. waiting for 1hr+ for food is not really something you expect.. and poor lijia n junwan. cold food and wrong order. hais. until don't feel like watching movie.. nvm hopefully the ice cream will cheer them up:)
anyway. i think the only thing good was extra-ing at lt3 with candice in the morning:) ditched our class gals to go watch them sing. and sang dravidian and tt swedish song [forgot the name liao but its quite a pretty song:] with them! haha. they're all so happy. so nice. kind of wistful. but it was lovely watching anyway:) on a side note, i really have no idea how my beaver got to darryl/jinjie and got sadly abused hmph.
oh pam carrying jh [my class not choir] on the way to holland v was funny:p reminds me of some other photo.. ohhh yes aud carrying a tracker i think. n i still owe chris saltimbanco oops.
haha mugging with jan around is always a hoot. she does such crazy things:p oh and yesterday when jan n jiahui were there it was even funnier.. jan drops her water bottle cap and flings it around and then decides its clean. jiahui "sometimes i wonder if u're a bio student" [sth to tt effect anyway].. since aft learning med biotech we shud noe how hard it is to get rid of bacteria n etc.
yeah. its quite fun i guess. albeit a bit noisy at the start usually. today also. jan's various antics. too bad we can't film everything. n the way she n alvin "quarrel"... and we could hear the j1s singing mayila n rasa sayang frm where we were sitting.. haha rasa sayang reminded me of all the times we sang in italy [esp in ethnic costumes]. bet val sitting in lt5 was laughing at the high "kang kong" parts. sounds like those clocks which have cuckoos inside which pop out and go "cuckoo!" oh and horrible darryl who said i was 2 yrs old *glare* if i'm 2 then u're 1 k
wonder if i should have tried applying to uk. after seeing all the pple who went for the talk at 3.15. oh well. wonder how many pple are applying to both. oh and wat mr chan was nagging at us today was like totally everyth i was telling myself last week. which is good advice. but whether i can follow it is another thing.
ah well friday should be a gd day yay:) 413 lunch! yeah!:) get to eat nice food:):):)
back frm grandma's bday dinner. there was live music! haha. quite funky lar. chinese singers and piano/double bass/sax accompaniment. and really, i think the nasal sound is so kteristic of chinese opera singers. if that makes sense. oh well. kind of reminded me of mayila haha:p
and college day. was so terribly boring. well besides kp being ridiculous haha. and i remember how i don't like waking up early on saturdays haha:p 6 days of sch a week mite not be so wonderful after all even if i get to sing. and i didn't noe sicheng's going stanford! aahh. sigh. can't help but imagine wat will happen nxt yr in march when a lvl results come out and in april [i think] when uni app results come out. but i guess tts still quite some time away shud bother abt prelims 1st groan. i need to stop being so lazy.
don't think i've felt out of sorts like that for a long time. since before italy i think. sorry if i was grumpy today.
wah. i think i just spent almost an hour talking to my bro. i'm v happy i have a bro haha:) well at least i think i have a better idea of uni stuff now. less clueless. though still need to decide quite a lot of things. hais this uni decision thing is so draining. talks and talks and talks. and thinking. abt wat course and wat uni.
and i got to see chernise n darryl n jinjie n kaiping just now! yay:) haha their names are consecutive in alphabets: cd n jk. anyway. miss them lots too. at least i get to mug with choir j2s now and then.. hardly get to talk to j1s.
law talk was interesting. though i think it sounds a bit dry to me. haha. wat ever sounds interesting anyway.. probably sth tt doesn't need memorising.. which probably doesn't exist. bleah. i think i shud have gone for medicine talk too darn. shall hafta go check out the website sometime..
been sleeping so much lately! or rather staying awake and not doing work. aargh. better make sure i prepare better for phys prac than i did for chem:s quite a disastrous test there. oh! for the 1st time i sort of listened during bio lect yay:D tho it was really really -really- cold. and raphael tells really spastic jokes [e.g. bio remediation is for pple who fail bio cts]. and morbid things like how to kill serene in the most gruesome ways possible. -shudders-
heh i feel like i'm living in a time warp or sth.. i still feel like its the 1st semester and find it so weird when i start hearing about signing up for ssef when it seems like its been just a few weeks or so since i went for/signed up for ssef.. yeah. just keep thinking its like maybe april or so and doesn't feel like the end of yr's coming so soon. maybe i'm like blocking out the dreaded prelims/a's. ugh. the way my mind managed to block out that 7mark qn for maths cts. bah. haha ok i noe i'm nuts for still remembering tt but well.
and i'm trying to write my gp essay and suddenly i realise that my examples are all half-baked. i kinda forget everyth after i read it. like maybe i find it interesting for the moment but if u ask me to use it to substantiate my points in an essay i'm a goner. hmm. not good. i really think i have a problem with details.
sigh well. after feeling guilty for happily wasting my weekend away i think i can start doing my work heh. esp when the new tuts just came in ugh:( and i have a prob with bio lectures too don't listen somehow. [serene its all ur fault :p haha]
haiyah i think bio cts were quite pathetic.. anyway various quotes from the post-mortem..
for qn on fermenter which had twigs inside [so bacteria can be immobilised on them]
Raphael : the twigs are to poke anyone who tries to enter the fermenter
the page with the biosensor qn
R: which ocean is found on this page?
ans: the specific (pacific) ocean
[i think its funnier if its asked and answered aloud tho. and if you see the paper.]
for essay on microorganism spoilage and how to prevent it
ms lee
- " some of you can heat milk at 95oC for 30mins.. can boil soup already.."
- " and you blow steam thru milk, not milk thru steam" [had this vague idea of a nozzle spraying milk through steam and wondering how they collect the milk after sterilising haha]
- " for canning you've to heat and then seal it, not seal before you heat! if not the factory will explode!" [r: we love exploding factories!]
ah maybe i just found them funny cos i was in a crazy mood but well. thanks to raphael for the amusement. and its also funny wat students can do out of desperation/stress:p i.e. maths/phys cts as well i think. can't remember.
n i realised its not so gd sitting in the back row for bio.. no. 1 cannot see wats on the board.. no. 2 its super cold. -furry purple jacket to the rescue!-
haha happy day!:) went to venezia w lijia n joon.. msged chris n got her to come along.. met tinky candice n sheila there who were ponning college day rehearsal [tsk] it was really fun tho like a mini 413 reunion:D yay!
and of cos the ice cream reminded me of italy. sigh.
talking abt uni/scholarship apps = superbly depressing. plus i don't noe wat i wanna do in uni either. very vague. nvm.
haha yesterday was fun too got to meet relatives i haven't seen in 8 years. or possibly more. and another cousin who's a scholar here. she's so cute:p n looks so much happier/prettier. its a wonder what taking off braces/putting on contacts does. haha.
din listen during bio lect at all! ahh. somehow its so easy to slack in the back row. although its super cold. thanks jan for the chocolate haha:p