haha yesterday when i was having dinner with my mom at al dente the menu had something called pizza primavera. very amusing. just after spending dunno how long singing io son la primavera. but its a lovely song:)
and its been so long since i had a full course [western] meal. like. since france. haha. just tt it didn't come course by course. and i don't think they drink soup very much. but i always feel super full after every meal. and remember kai-lyn n yunlei sharing their food. n cheukka with her silly comments:)
aargh. this part of a song is stuck in my head but i don't noe e rest of the song/title/artist! rar. yay!! i finally found it:)
anyway. we can still go for dance nite after all!:) *happy*
ooh. feel good. i sat down for 1h30 n did work. while listening to music. but i actually didn't get up for such a long time! haha. though it didn't seem like i did that much. but well. better than nothing i guess. and tmr's friday! yay:) and maybe i'll get to meet lyd n pam on sunday:) yay somemore:)
i think i can't put on the aircon straight away at night. if not i'll fall asleep [like the past 2 nights. bleargh. tues nite i fell asleep at 9 while studying chem prac n woke up at 4 to mug. yesterday i fell asleep at 10, heck cared, woke up n was almost late for sch].
yup. it was quite funny actually today during math lect aft the april fool's joke aud turned around n was like "do u remember last last yr when serene got us to hide in the toilet during a math" [i forgot exact words] and later i was telling chris tt i finally gave lyd her bday present n abt our april fool's joke.. then her reply "rmb in sec 4 where stupid ser choreographed tt toilet stunt to skip a math?" haha. fond memories huh rofl it was kinda spas but at least its sth funny to remember:p
n yeah. speaking of sec 4 class. quite impressed at 412's very successful class outing. hope we can have one too! haha. i want to see mrs kwan! blahh. maybe i can coax her into coming for choir concert:D plus ms ning n ms tan! wahaha:) it'll be fun.
i wish they'd hurry up with the rest of the common test results. somehow i don't like the waiting. like. the feeling of something unfinished. and i also hope i did fine. start feeling quite paranoid sometimes.
and sigh the fringe thingy. i think our songs are kind of boring. hmm. but for them to be more interesting need percut rite? aiyah. quite confused here. and i feel so tired everyday there doesn't seem to be any respite. feeling like i need my holiday again haha.
nvm i will go and sort myself out again.
oh! funny church thing heh. we were learning 1 Corinthians 15. so our tcher asked us to take 30 seconds to visualise wat our idea of heaven would be like. so the 1st person he picked to share with us was benjamin. who said his idea was a bed. can sleep. -amused- [so was the tcher]
so tcher went on to ask his sister jasmine who said "he wants a bed i want the pillows n the bolster" tt girl is always the joker:p
in which tcher sed tt we wake up just to go back to sleep [as in wake up on judgement day]
so amos said we must be watchful on earth wat so cannot sleep so go to heaven n sleep [or rest]
was quite hilarious:p we're all so lacking in sleep.
yes. well i remembered a few posts back serene [lee] said on her blog that something's missing in her life. and yesterday jm did too. and i realised i felt the same way. just tt, like they said. its just so easy to push it away when u're busy and have other stuff to do. like. oh i have sth else to finish forget it i'll think about it another time. and u never really go and figure out wat it is. which now come to think of it is actually quite important.
yes. well. anyways i figured something i'll enjoy doing and tts learning another language! haha. or doing sth abt my french anyway. quite rusty. but i still havent' figured out wat to do about the feeling-too-tired-to-talk-to-anybody part. today my excuse was tt after singing dravidian and suite de lorca my throat/voice = super tired. actually that happens quite a lot. like my mom will ask me stuff in the car n i wont' want to answer cos i'm really tired of using my voice haha.
oh yes. so i was sitting beside the pool thinking. and found sth i like to do! it was actually quite peaceful. nice windy night with the sound of running water. but i felt quite hermit-ish cos everyone else was in the clubhouse talking. well.
hmm. common tests are over. finally! i woke up feeling so happy:) but somehow after the paper i felt so sian. like. don't feel like doing anything. wat's there in the form of entertainment? movies? nothing nice that i really wanted to watch. though my girl was funny. but somehow i felt v sorry for the little guy. like being unhappy cos he was stuck with the gals. and not accepted into the gang. and having to hurt his best fren to get into the gang. maybe tts wats called heartwrenching.
anyways. to continue about my sianness. felt like tt even around my friends. and it wasn't just one particular group of pple. was just in general. which is really sad. maybe cos i was hot and sticky and tired. feel better after a bath anyway. maybe i need nice new songs. maybe i need sleep. or maybe like junming says, i need a vacation to go and find myself again. haha. sounds bit cheesy. but sounds like sth i need. and just aft lect tests i was thinking i needed a vacation but tts not v possible.
o yes and for anyone who hasn't heard about my screw-up.. realised at 9sth yesterday tt it was the deadline for registration for may sats.. so i rushed it.. and then after i registered they sed it'll be held on 8th may cos 1st may in spore is labour day. freak la. maybe tts the day after choir concert. how screwed. and then june sats is no better cos i'll come back frm italy on 3rd june and june sats are on 5th june. so basically quite screwed cos of choir. well. hope tmr will be a nice day.
oh i forgot to add. alvin's "feet jackets" [socks]; jiahui's weird dreams; hearing abt ben and his "why don't u put fren in the canal [kennel] n i think there's somemore. when i remember i'll add it in heh.
haha. today's mugging was quite funny. and as usual tiffy wasn't being sane. haha. i have this suspicion she only pretends to be sane normally:D and i also never realised how much jan gets diaoed by alvin. and vice versa. very interesting there. o yeah n jiahui started going crazy later on too.
hums. last nite of mugging! whee~ i was almost going to type the same thing as the end of the last post just that i realised in time. yes. tmr will be fun:) goody. seems like i've been stuck at home/mugging forever.
hums seems like math was okay after all. after checking numbers with serene. haha. hopefully we're both right. whee~ though i somehow felt tt i wasn't concentrating enough on the paper. maybe cos it was an afternoon paper. [and it was hot and humid and therefore annoying] then i freaked out after the paper when candice asked me about the volume thing but i think its correct after all! -whew-
ugh. i think i will go and sleep somemore. mom made me wake up at 8sth. and i was so groggy i couldn't do math properly anyway... got this p&c qn wrong n somehow couldn't think how the answer came about. but after napping i realised. so well.
and there were like 3 explanation questions! i didn't read the explanations as well as i thought i had so had to come up with some decent crap on the spot. hopefully it was correct. and the linear interpolation thing! cheat me. i thought it was in the notes but i forgot when actually the one in the notes is only for newton raphson. so had to formulate something on the spot anyway. o well. only 1 paper left! yay:) can almost taste freedom. some sort of freedom anyway haha.
heh. bio. wat can i say. oh well. i can't work up much enthusiasm to mug for bio somehow. shall have to rectify that. somehow. but tt can come later haha. now for math. at least math doesn't require mugging. as compared to chem/bio. ugh. anyways. agree with all of jireh's complaints about exams in the school hall. so so true. and i didn't realise there was drilling until today. but luckily it stopped after a while.
anyways. i was watching a bug's life taped from sunday. its so cute!:) haha. i like the circus bugs. but i don't like bugs in real life. and the bloopers were funny too. yay clar is happy:)
alrighty. poor clar is confused. was tt paper easy/ok/difficult? forget it. shouldn't bother thinking anymore its over. anyway its actually quite funny now tt i look back at it. but for C3 i stared at the first part n freaked out "how?? how to show its a weak acid??" and then looked down and realised "die if i can't do 1st part & the other 2 are linked then i'm dead" so i sat there n panicked until i squashed out an answer. and then the same thing happened for the pH thingy. thinks "i've seen that before! on saturday! in the notes! how come i can't do it now!" sat n panicked somemore until i realised. haha.
ah. okay. i just realised some mistakes thanks to hk haha. talk about rushing for time.. hopefully there aren't anymore.
anyways. i better go make sure i noe my stuff for bio. very scared of essays. n structured questions which i can't understand [as candice says]
bleah. sometimes i hate myself for sleeping in the afternoon. anyways. i realised i spent 5 hrs on homeostasis alone. maybe cos i was writing it out neatly and stuff. grrr. haven't done physics at all. freak. horrible studying.
anyways. i have rediscovered that instrumental music is nice! i don't really know wat its called actually cos i'm just koping soundtracks. new-age orchestra?? hmm. anyways. like frm pirates n lotr n finding nemo n anna n the king n monsters inc n x-men 2 haha. but each one is different. can't describe it somehow. elusive. or maybe my music vocab is just sucky haha. but i like tt type of music so i'm happy! whee~
oh i forgot to add the horse at disney on ice was so cute too:) cos its kinda hampered by the fact tt there're 2 people making up the horse [i think] so it has to move quite slowly.. very cute:D
back from disney on ice! the skating was lovely. am quite satisfied cos tts wat i went there to see. kind of. haha. tho i didn't like gaston so the parts centering around him were bit draggy. anyway yes. the skating. so fluid and graceful! like they never stop moving.. just slide round and round.. haha.. and then the pair skaters were so cool.. dunno how the guy can skate and hold up the gal at the same time..
yeah. i realised i only manage to appreciate such things now. cos my mom says she's been asking me to go n watch disney since time immemorial and i never wanted to.. then suddenly this yr i decide i want to. i guess its cos i don't like disney stories much.. but this yr i decided i wanted to go bcos i wanted to see the skating. cos like i think my dad asked us to go watch saltimbanco when it came in 99 but i didn't want.. then somehow i came to my senses in 01 n i went to watch alegria! yay:) and last yr 'o' in vegas:) somehow nowadays when i see any of those productions with showy music and dancing and stuff it reminds me of vegas:)
and then there's piano too.. i remember i really hated lessons when i was small [like 6 to 11 or so] and i'd hang around hoping that my tcher wud call and say she's not coming.. then i'd be so happy when the lesson was cancelled.. think i only really appreciated music when i went to jkms. and saw ms koh play. haha. talk about inspiration. yeah and then there's choir too. when i see all the zai music pple.
yeah. rather unproductive day though. maybe i should try to sleep less. haha. wat a lazy clar. shall go off n attempt to finish kidney.
ah. seem to feel rather productive today. but when i actually look at it maybe not. cos i've been awake since 8 and taking off like 1.5hrs for meals and 1/2h reading n 1/2h playing piano n 1/2h online. oh nevermind. feel sufficiently satisfied for now anyhow. at least i didn't feel sleepy in the afternoon like i usually do. maybe cos its hols. or cos i slept 10hrs at night. haha. i should stop falling asleep with the light on. which goes to show how lazy i am.
oh i just remembered something funny about last wed. someone [either one of the serenes i think. forgot] asked ms ning for her handphone number. and ms ning didn't noe. [typical blur ms ning haha:p] and so she scrolled down to "me" in her phone book where her number was stored. in which ms tan had nothing to say in her defence. quite amusing somehow. maybe its the way hannah informed us of the fact tt her number was stored under "ME" heh.
hmm. i don't think today was very productive either. for that matter i hardly ever seem to be productive! sigh. nothing seems to go in whether at home/in sch/outside. must think of new methods to study. hmm. and i was quite sleepy in the afternoon. i think if i'd been at home i'd have fallen asleep. as usual. but surprisingly as it got darker i got more awake. maybe its some reflex action heh.
bleah. i see long dreary hols in front of me. filled with mugging. hopefully it pays off man. horrible way to spend hols. feel like watching some movie but doesn't seem like there's anything much. oh i'm quite happy cos i bought 3 shirts at a go yesterday:D and given tt i'm so fussy its quite an accomplishment! haha.
man. tiring day yesterday. came to sch for 3h20 of physics [lect plus converted prac] and then gp was free block:) yay! lect was hilarious.. since i had pam behind me n raphael n candice on either side of me.. the amount of corny jokes pam n raphael came up with.. u couldn't imagine.. it was so painful.. anyway 2 samples here
on the mcq with the 4 diodes [for full-wave rectification]
courtesy of raphael
qn : why are the routes [taken by the current] like bus routes?
ans : because there're terminals
pam
qn : why are the routes dangerous for oats?
ans : because there are a lot of die-oats [diodes]
and raphael's winning joke for the board thingy was:
qn : why did the hot chocolate start to sing?
ans : because it was cocoa lee
yeah. well. oh yes and serene who is always so intelligent.
she was being annoying as usual and whining her head off. so i was saying "hmm.. i seem to hear a banshee around.." [obviously referring to her] and serene was like "really?? where?" tt was really classic
then our . ahem . learning journey to chinatown. haha. it was how sad. although a few pple weren't there. anyways we walked frm sch to mrt [in the hot sun at 2sth] frm mrt to chinatown. stood in the middle of the road deciding where to go. ended up at the food centre and ate and ate and ate. yes.
went to ben's house. haha i think his room door is very interesting.. it really looked like a wall to me.. then when mingze slid the panels apart i was like woah.. cool:) hehe. n now noe why ben's forever online.
bluemoo was good!:) =apologises for looking sian/bored/watever= it was really quite a tiring day for me.. not tt i was bored! haha somehow i thought nanu was nicer than budak pantai.. maybe cos they were doing pop songs and the lead singer sounded like one of those pop stars. but budak was funny:D they're like. comic genii.
anyways too lazy to go for open house today heh oops my house feels too comfy:p but yesterday was fun:) very amusing company:) btw jan somehow i never knew u squeaked so much haha:p u don't seem to get that agitated when its just the gals [or am i wrong?]
haha. finally ssef is over. didn't get anything. sigh. well. for the amount of effort we put in i guess that's kind of expected. and i guess our project wasn't good enough. o well.
anyways it was really quite horrible today.. so boring there.. luckily there was ting n ser n fiona n serene t around.. and lovely surprise! ms tan and ms ning came!:) haha so happy!:) made going there worth it man:D haha ms tan smacked me for not noticing them.. sed i was dao.. but i really didn't see them lar not my fault.. i think i was daoing ser n went back to my booth to do chem tut and then ms tan sed hi and -then- i realised. was really really good seeing them again;) ms tan's hilarious. and so cute!:) everyth she says she'll pat ms ning's shoulder n say "dui4 ma2?" n ms ning will nod. yeah. miss having them teach us.
yup. so me n serene coerced them into coming for choir concert. hopefully they'll keep 7th may night free:) haha i told ms tan it'll be her bday present then she stared at me and "its so far away!" n as usual was diaoing hannah abt putting chem s as 3rd choice for s papers. heh. o yeah n ms tan sed beh looks toot. and the poor guy sounded so pathetic when he told her "yeah i know lah her [serene's] classmates all think i'm ugly" haha:p
congrats to those who did well! and to those who're like me.. well.. it was a good experience:) quite interesting actually. and explaining it to pple is like quite challenging sometimes. wonder how choir went. haha.
gp common test was okay i guess. given tt i fell asleep at 9.30. sigh. getting too lazy. and tmr there's extra chem aft pe again. well. at least i'm almost done with my tut. but i can't stand her nitro notes. very messy.
right. so i've the night left to finish chem s tutorial n maths s [3 or 4 more questions] now why didnt' i finish them on friday.. sigh. seem to find chem s tutorials quite tedious. which is quite ridiculous because i chose to take it in the 1st place so i should be finding it interesting. which it is! but just being lazy i guess. as usual. don't seem to want to work for anything i want.
yesterday's dinner was fun fun fun! haha. even though -ahem- we spent 2 hrs waiting for pam. who, as usual, didn't have enough money. and lyd was so delighted with boxing gloves. and scolding pam for being unclassy when she herself wasn't being very classy;p and wistfully staring at all the sofa seats and was very satisfied when one table freed up and she finally got to sit on her darling sofa. yup. pity i couldn't stay longer... didn't have much time to catch up with them. lyd n pam together are hilarious. though we missed chris *glare* and jane *double glare*
ssef frm mon to wed. groan. hope it turns out fine. oh went to the career fair yesterday. wasn't particularly helpful to me like i told jan. except that i got to ask about the delf thingy. wonder if i'll actually go to france and study heh.
hmm. colorgenics is uncannily spot-on w.r.t. [haha diffn?] mood analysis. www.colorgenics.com! go try it! heh. though it kind of describes the whole week not so much just today. heh. like the way i feel cooped up. n how tired i feel. and the stress! the source of which i've no idea. bit scary the way its so accurate. more the last 3 paragraphs.
Results:
You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.
You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.
You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.
Unacceptable restrictions have been forced upon you and this is resulting in severe frustration and stress. You are looking for independence and consequently you shy away from any restriction and avoid obligations of anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressure and want to escape from it so that you can obtain what you need, but unfortunately at this particular moment in time you lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this.
Trying to cope with conditions which you think are beyond your capabilities has led to considerable anxiety and stress. You now feel that you are not capable of coping with this situation and indeed any situation which could arise from what you consider to be your personal inadequacy.
woah. very relieved:) and happy:) haha. after worrying. anyways it was quite funny mrs cheong was saying they can get it by 11.. then raphael n serene were like "clarissa's dying already" so she should go get it now.. so mrs cheong was like "huh?? really ah?! okay okay i'll go n get now" n she ran off:p so nice:)
yup congrats to all those who did well!:) n a level results.. like woah.. weiying!! haha.. and kelvin n sicheng n all..
quite scared. we'll be like them next year.. hopefully will be as happy haha. i think i'm kind of struggling at the moment.
anyways i forgot to mention something on monday during math s poor val was stuck between serene [who had her bf with her] and me.. and i was like raining insults on serene half the time and val was quite amused. n then i realised i only do that to serene haha quite poor thing.
rather tired now. don't know why. off to rest. quite worried about ssef.. poster is undone, haven't practised presentation since last nov.. i still hafta go back to sch for choir.. dunno how also. n i think my mom has got something on in the morning.