gah hate going airport ;(
but i guess i'll have to learn how to sooner or later..
oh wells
but at least this time i didn't like start weeping or something.. *grimace*
but it was almost as bad. as usual. really pathetic.
...
and that silly bao.. i could have sent her off! *growls* but nooo she mistook her flight timing and told us 1am instead of 10am
*sighsighsigh* but china's a whole lot nearer than canada..
but it doesn't matter how far, it matters that they aren't here.. i'll miss them and miss them and miss them..
this blog thingy is quite useful actually :)
aaaaaah
just back from piano exam
i am so dead
i don't even know if i can pass
*big groan* die already..
grumble grumble grumble
first of all my playing wasn't that great
missed notes, blah blah blah.
and then the quick study wasn't so gd either.. missed notes too, wrong notes, etc
and then viva voce
aaacck. b4 everything the woman looked v happy, ...
then while 'interrogating' me, she didn't look so happy
and i made the stupidest mistakes of my life. like calling a time signature a key signature
gah and then i didn't even noe whether 6-4 was compound duple or triple. crap lah. soo pathetic..
ask me things i'm not sure.. so i was crapping out.. crap also she didn't look v convinced
esp when the things i'm not sure = abt bach.. which is her speciality.. and she plays for the queen and her students play for the queen too!
die die die.. hope i can pass
groan
i never want to go through that again.. so freakyfying.. ;(
aaaaaah.
my piano exam's tomorrow! *freaks out*
what if i can't play properly (esp. my bach cos the female examiner's a bach specialist!!!) what if i can't sightread properly what if i can't answer their questions properly
gah. pre-exam jitters.
aaaaaah.
and at this point in time, no one can help me. unless they can somehow assure me that i definitely will do fine tmr and pass well and watever other crap.
and i'm in no mood to do my h/w.. which includes like 6 n 1/2 jian3 bao4s and learning e maths... groan. all that i will have to do thursday (tmr) after 4:15pm. sighs
hmm just back from the last piano lesson i'll have, unless i fail. which i certainly hope not.
its quite sad isn't it..
kinda like wat she said.. *bittersweet*
sometimes she can be nice, sometimes she can be horrible..
sometimes i'm really glad i did my diploma, sometimes i'm not
it all really depends on what's happening at the moment
i don't know if i want to do LRSM. probably not actually. she doesn't seem all that keen on me continuing.
not that i should make my decision based on that. and she doesn't think i'm very interested in music. though i've improved since when i first went into the studio. i have enough trouble and stress and depression from doing dipabrsm.. hmm. i really don't know what to do. i never do know what to do, though. *sigh*
2 years in that studio really educated me though..
it was very interesting, very amusing and all.
but something i failed to grasp is that life goes on. and you can't hold on to anything for long.
which i can't accept very well. and i can't bear to let go. so i end up a mess. as usual.
sigh. somehow all the entries here are usually depressing. which is what this blog is for actually.. but not that nice for people to read i guess.
sometimes i think i'm in desperate need of a counsellor..
gah my pore eyes are so aching.. and its not like i din take a nice nap in the evening.. thinking i can work better at times like now which is.. 12.11am.. in which actually i do work better at night *or rather, unearthly hours of the day* like 12am 1am blah blah blah
but somehow i can't seem to take it
ah wells. nvm at least on thursday i can wake up at watever time i like :) but probably will be scared stiff tinking abt piano diploma exam in a few hours time.. *grimace* and believe it or not, i have to mug for that too. amazing huh..
the amount of homework which we have now (and tests) and u still have to mug for things like piano..*laffs*
tumdeedum
i think the teaching sec 1s physics thingy is really crap..
we sec 3s can't even consolidate our own knowledge and they expect us to teach sec 1s.. i'm betting the sec 1s will end up failing their test.. *groan* esp given the way ms tan marks.. it would be a miracle if any of those under our charge pass..
after seeing the look on ms tan's face when jiahui and huichu were demo-ing and explaining *haha* she looked ready to kill.. run after us brandishing a parang or something. *grin*
honestly i think prama, yap and blin can rival for "most boring teacher in the world".. its amazing the way they teach..
*shiver* just came back from young musician's society.
sooo cold inside.. and hafta stay there and play for one hour..
freezing..
i shall get a blanket and wrap myself round and round and round until i can't move.. like a mummy
laffs
anyway.. *gah* i wish my mom hadn't videotaped me.. its soo embarrassing to watch urself play
and then some parts sounded so terrible
but i guess i've improved a lot stylistically since last time.. :)
groan. its 12.43am and i can't sleep cos i postponed doing my programme notes for piano diploma exam too late.. so now i've gotta rush and finish it tonite or rush home tmr and finish it. but i decided since i somehow work better at nite when everyone's asleep and no one bothers me.. better try n finish tonite. sighs. even tho i have a headache now *groan somemore*
and i just finished ss .. around.. 1/2hr ago or sth? blah. editing programme notes.. tomorrow is kinda like "last lesson" and i haven't finalised my programme notes stuff! gah. excuse my obsession with programme notes.
my head seems to be controlling me. oh wait, of cos it would. wat'm i talking abt? gah becoming incoherent. *fatigue overcomes me*
but i struggle on. haha.. crappy.. anyway its back to wonderful programme notes for me! *laffs*
gah
hate tests
hate everything :(
esp when u get ambiguous qns like "wat happened?"
hmph
hmph
hmph
*v angry*
the last week of sch is gonna suck :(
3 tests and piano dip exam
boohoo
wat'm i gonna do *moan*
i'm gonna miss bao when she disappears off to china.. sigh. leaving on the same day as the gostelows too
and both probably not returning.
woah. so tired.. out for the whole day and just back and finished bathing..
but it was fun.. at least now i'm closer to the church pple.. thx to the 3 of them. its so sad they're not coming back for a long long time but maybe i can induce my parents to visit them when we go visit my brother every year *laffs* -hopeful-
and luckily the gals stopped suaning me.. i'm so glad :)
oh it was so weird today.. just got in the car after the mock debate.. and then radio was on.. *surprise surprise*! the song tt my piano tcher played for concert.. beethoven emperor concerto.. and i kinda would have thot its too long a song to be played on radio.. 20mins! and then after that i tink they played the 2nd mvt as well.. anyhow this is so crappy..
-feet are v tired-
woah i have no idea how i'm gonna survive...
my piano sux like dunno wat.. tcher drilled me until my right hand is so tired now..
boohoo. poor hand.
and then there's still so much stuff to do, plus studying to do, plus a whole lot of things! :(
ladida
i'm so glad a maths test is over but there're a whole lot more things to do!! *grumble*
and a whole lot more tests coming up
boohoohoo
horrid.
- SMP presentation, french controle, e maths test, ss test, geog project on mangroves,..
and some smart tcher decided to send me and ser and lam in for a general knowledge quiz when i dont possess a SHRED of general knowledge *sigh*.. wonder wat possessed the tcher to send me in?
now i shall hafta go mug a lil bit if not i'll totally malu myself. bah...
quote of the day from mrs kwan "do the right thing and chances are : u won't do the wrong thing"
*nods sagely in agreement* thats very sensible isn't it?
*rolls on the floor laffing* :)
hohoho
its quite amazing what she can come up with..
boohoohoo
how i'm gonna pass my piano diploma exam is a mystery to me
actually i probably can if i go work on it
and the piano in the auditorium is so weird! i mean, i noe the piano isn't weird to start with, but somehow.. it ends up with such a gross sound and so loud and so obvious when i miss notes or have mistakes.
and my gershwin 3rd prelude was bad.. so ravel became bad and i couldn't concentrate
oh yes.. serene's intelligence :
during physics prac.. she tinks the water isn't heating up fast enough so she wants to turn up the flame/gas.. but ends up switching the bunsen burner off. *sigh*
during bio.. "the refresher's on plant nutrition rite?" when mrs prama already said it was on circulatory system..
later chris says "i noe why its so important to serene that she study both plant nutrition and circulatory system.. its cos she's a zhi2 wu4 ren2!" haha .. serene the vegetable :)
school. hehe. not that it's very illuminating.. with such things as english lessons.. and chemistry lessons which both can virtually put you to sleep.. its really amazing. okay i'm being mean here but.. gosh.. why can't we have more interesting lessons..
english *dronedronedronedrone* ..
chemistry *tcher's eyes dart around.. "junwan!"* haha.
oh wells.. and during english.. grand total of three pple blatantly sleeping ;)
it really amuses me to think of what would happen if one day blin had someone sit in for class.. *chuckles in glee*
he'll probably get sacked or something..
let me see.. oh e maths. pple complaining ms hoo's grumpier and grumpier by the day.. hmm she's kind of weird i think.. we don't always answer her questions, doesn't mean we don't understand or we're braindead wat. she seems to be overly concerned. ooh interesting getting a bit like mrs kwan huh. ok that was kind of mean.. but they both are!
i mean.. imagine telling pple's parents "i think ur child has boyfriend problems!" *rolls around on the floor laffing*
anyway besides that.. i'm glad i told someone. couldn't have kept it to myself any longer. and i feel slightly better about it. very slightly only though.
still slightly depressed about everything.
why's life so unfair. sigh. mais c'est la vie, i have to accept that.
well okay i guess today was a better day but i still still still hate it when pple give u such knowing smiles when there's NOTHING to smile about. gah. hmph. why can't pple get it into their heads there's something called platonic relationships? guys and gals can just be very good friends can't they. it really makes life difficult for me. [actually, maybe it isn't so simple as that, but it can't be more either. sigh]
like the whole world's against me. sigh somemore
and i still can't really carry on a decent conversation
wat a pathetic conversationalist.
quote of the day "you look very pretty today!!"
haha
*groan* i just hate it when pple start teasing..
its so irritating!! *snarl*
and why do i care so much abt wat other pple tink
i should just not bother abt them.. but i can't! i need courage! or maybe its just the "don't-care-ness" or watever
result : i'm .. well.. sarcastic, dry, watever.. somehow its the way i am 1/2 the time, even though i don't mean to insult pple. just insult them for fun. but it does get pretty mean i suppose. especially if you don't noe wat i'm like. and now i'm feeling guilty. VERY guilty indeed. in case i really hurt pple's feelings and i don't know what to do. i feel mean, pathetic, horrible, u name it.
moohoohoo (like serene says, i sound like a cow crying *haha*)
lousy poot. *sigh*
such a horrible situation to be in. *big groan*
i shall hope that tomorrow will be a better day
quelquefois.. la vie.. c'est triste. mais parfois, c'est merveilleux
feeling better today :) one finds that sleeping always helps when one is depressed over crap things like piano tchers who love insulting you. *laffs*