it's been a week since i've been back! man, two more weeks and i've to go back and study. groan. i'm too slack here for my own good. but i thank god that my results for this term were alright. hopefully next quarter i can manage my time better.
anyway, so on monday i met fiona (who was half an hour late grr) who also claims she's in the bottom half of medicine. heh i'm sure i don't envy her having to remember all the bone names and wat not. though she'll probably have a more meaningful career hmm. i need to figure out my life.
tuesday met darryl n kaiping. my five year old buddy will never grow up. or maybe NS will make a difference. but well it's always good to keep the kid side of you. if not you forget how to imagine, how to laugh, how to be silly. perhaps love was the first chinese musical i've seen. and i didn't really like it that much. i somehow don't think chinese songs are suited to musicals. or i might just be biased. besides that the story was kinda complicated, and not very developed plot. i think i can be very critical when i don't like little things. very much prefer my innocent steps show.
wednesday met rachel. woah, she can really shop. awfully picky about what shirt to get for her bf. so cute, must get the perfect present. but i guess i can empathise with that since i'm so picky too, just not about buying bfs presents. haha. ooh and we had sashimi. yumyumyum.
thursday met pam! she hugged me so hard i had problems breathing. she went bungee jumping in NZ! so cool! and she was so enamoured with NZ scenery her phone was full of pics of trees and flowers and such. oh, she was also squealing over her baby niece (or someone) while i remained relatively unaffected. but again pam has always been so mommy-ish, even to me.
and we watched narnia! that was good. although lucy didn't even seem the least bit startled when she backed out of the wardrobe into narnia for the first time. i think i didn't picture anything in my head when i read the book cos for once when i saw a screen adaptation of a book i wasn't thinking "i didn't imagine it that way". or maybe i've just learnt to accept a movie for wat it is.
so today was the first day in days that i stayed home. not that i accomplished very much. and i should really get down to writing york's appeal letter but i'm feeling so lazy. i should also be revising french for the placement test but... i miss my playlist. maybe i should've brought my mac mini back heh.
ohh! on wednesday i bought my dvd and was very happy (although not so happy when i watched it and realised they didn't have the deleted scenes, sigh:( director's cut!! which costs like $60 including shipping! argh and i don't even know if it'll have eng subtitles for extra features, sigh somemore)
anyway my dad decided that it was a good show too, so the nxt day (thurs) he called me during lunch to ask if i wanted "april snow. it's a korean show! original dvd only $20!" and i'm like yeah, i saw it in the shops, but i have no idea wat it's about. it's funny cos 1. my dad suddenly became so enthusiastic about korean shows 2. he usually doesn't buy original dvds
now i can understand why candice was infatuated w korean dramas, namely autumn in my heart & winter sonata. i think korean shows in general are addictive. esp cos they know to put good looking young pple on screen. man, i sound so shallow. but like chim says (but in an entirely different context), works of art eh?
so now my dad is busy watching some korean vcd series he bought on thurs. this is so funny. like how pam was telling me about her parents getting hooked on some 70-episode korean drama and feeling so out of sorts after they finished watching the entire series. haha.
oh! i have also finally finished class quotes. very amazing achievement, all thanks to my extreme boredom during the weekend. unfortunately i think if i send it to the teachers everyone is going to kill me (with the possible exception of serene)
either there's still something wrong with my sleep cycle or i slept too much on the friday i came back. woke up at 7 yesterday, 6.30 today (also partly thanks to ser's 5 smses, leaving me wondering why someone was sending me so many msgs at such a weird time).
church was certainly interesting, the first two adults I saw didn't even realise I was back even though I greeted them, until my mom told them. I don't know what it is about Campbell COC singing.. maybe cos ken the songleader is good. -shrugs- bible class was actually better than expected heh, cos I seem to remember most bible classes being not particularly useful, but it was otherwise.
it's a weird feeling. it's so easy to get used to being back, i don't seem to have a real craving for any type of food, i'm just like, okay, we can eat something else today, and slip back into the old routine. maybe that's thanks to sean & co. who save us from lousy dorm food once a week.
well anyway gonna meet fiona later yay! that should be fun. hopefully I can find the stuff I wanna buy.. oh and it's so nice to not have to convert and think, man, this is so expensive. haha.
oh and suddenly it feel so slow driving on expressways here. 80km/h vs 80miles/h. oh!! yesterday when we were going for lunch, there was this pathetic poseur in a sports car trying to show off his speed and zoom around, but kept getting stopped at traffic lights. haha. sports cars are useless here la.. where're you going to speed to? my dad was saying mahathir said if you drive for too long (or sth like that) you'll end up in the sea. haha. rather true.
my dormmate is getting kicked out cos 1. he saw someone setting stuff on fire and didn't stop him, 2. staff don't think he's a gd member of the dorm. that's kind of harsh though.. hm. and the guy who set the stuff on fire (a junior i think) is getting kicked out too. hmm. it's amazing the things which happen..
on another note I was so bored (and lazy, didn't feel like preparing for french placement) that I decided to finally finish compiling class quotes (i'm still not done, but there's definitely progress made) and I kept laughing so much. I realised I hadn't had so many laughs in a while. besides the dinner/lunch with the council (of the wise) the weekend before finals. anyway actually lack of laughter happens quite often, but i think it's only with good friends that i really laugh. cos we're so comfortable with each other we can say the most ridiculous things and it doesn't matter.
i'm home! ahh. i got out of the airport and was like.. wahh.. hot. haha. it's nice to be home though, although i miss my mac and my screen rofl. but i'm glad i no longer have to jump into bed. and i can wear shorts without freezing! but i need the fan instead if not i think i'll melt. ahaha.
didn't sleep much on the flight back cos there wasn't any need to. (vs going to stanford, international orientation started almost immediately) so i spent most of today sleeping. touched down at 12.35am, got to the gate at around 12.50, got out around 1.10am and then went to report baggage damage. they're so much better than SFO SIA la.. there they just shoved a piece of paper at me telling me that they're not responsible for dents.. here they said they'll come pick up the luggage later to fix it.
oh and i watched this show about dance on the plane (innocent steps) and i'm so addicted to it now. and i found out that the actress acted in autumn in my heart! no wonder. she's quite cute though. the good thing is that the main actor n actress are good looking! haha. watching shows without eye candy is very sad. well of cos they have to be able to act too la. i am going to buy the dvd. hope it won't be too ex:| and apparently it came out in spore in aug! ahh. i should've watched it. oh well.
i got the german ihum, wasn't too sure if that's a good choice but in the end i decided i shall stick with it.. but i dunno about section. now i have a 5.15pm one which is not very good in a way. hmm.
alright time to go back to sleep.. haha i came home and pottered around until 3.30am then i got up at 7am and went back to sleep at 9.30am until 7pm or so. unless my watch was wrong, which is quite possible cos it keeps slowing down which is really weird.
yay! i finished econ. ladida. and i had a nice lunch:) i wonder how come the food's better today.. either 1. it's finals week or 2. the pple who're cooking today are better. workers are on strike today to demand better retirement benefits/other benefits today. apparently it's more for the hospital workers, but they're just showing solidarity so dining workers are on strike too. oh well. and then it was so funny, cos we were eating lunch and one of my dormmates was like, the pple today are so polite! we should keep these guys man. haha. oops. i was thinking the same thing when i saw the better food today. but of cos maybe it's just better cos it's finals week.
yesterday's lunch and friday's dinner were hilarious, but i'll recall the quotes another time. oh and last night i had such a terrible night.. apparently it's not just me cos my roommate felt the same way. i tried to sleep at 10.30 cos i wasn't thinking anymore (this happens oh so often) and then i kept having the feeling that i wasn't really asleep, but i refused to look at my watch cos i knew i'd panic if i saw the time and think "oh crap, its (watever time) already and i'm still not asleep". and then i woke up at 12, then 2.45, then i can't remember if there were any other times. and it was so hot, which was weird. normally i'm quite comfy under my comforter but last night it was HOT. oh well.
tomorrow i'll be a happy me! lalala
hmm, so now it seems that primal scream happens every night. last night i came back from the shower to see my phe (peer health educator) and a couple of guys leaning out on the balcony shrieking. haha. i didn't hear it on tues night though, maybe i was in the shower or something. i'm using up all my plasters, there must be something wrong with my hands cos they keep getting cut.
and it's so odd that suddenly fall quarter classes are all ending. like for jc and the last two years of sec sch, we had two years before we had to say goodbye. and i just realised there's no more ihum lect (yes!! ahaha) or section (yess!!! even though my section's rather amusing). and no more introsem (okay, i shall stop typing the same thing; basically all the classes are finishing up). i guess it's less sad, but no bond. although my introsem prof says we're going to have reunion nxt quarter haha.
ahh. i suddenly thought of gerald durrell. i need one of his books! bah. stupid math is driving me nuts. and i suddenly thought of how it's so weird to live two types of lives. one at home with family, one here in dorm with friends. anyway. i wish i had hello panda. but i'd just gobble it all up. and maybe it isn't such a bad thing having all finals on one day, then i can hurry up and go home! ahaha. and laugh at the rest. hopefully every quarter's this good, but i wouldn't count on it. (there are bad points too though, like having to cram everything this week).
i'm falling into exactly the trap i know i shouldn't be falling into. it's so true the way the other pple in my introsem say that they start analyzing things as being fixed/growth mindset heh. and they know wat's the wrong/right response and try to change it. but it doesn't always work.
and something i realised during bible study. it's kind of weird how i just seem to realise things during church/bible study. but anyway. it is the same thing. i can't blame it on the fact that our culture is different or whatever, it was just the same back at home. it's just that i momentarily forgot about what happened in rj/at church. or maybe it was just an easy excuse. the same feeling of having nothing to say, feeling awkward, ... and it of course doesn't help that my mom was asking me just now how, has my personality changed? and i'm like, haha, no. which reminded me of the whole point why my parents agreed to send me here in the first place even though it's costing them a hell lot of money. maybe i'm just being impatient or something, i don't know. sometimes i think it depends on my mood. but i always have the feeling that something isn't as it should be.
maybe that's why music is so good. immerse myself in it and forget (or try to) everything else. nothing else matters at that moment.
there're always two sides to a problem. when i'm unhappy, i see the bad side. when i'm neutral/happy, i see the better side. that just goes so much for religion too actually.
oh dr dement came to talk at westflo. he says that the ONLY cause of fatigue is sleep debt. i find that curious. okay, like dennis said, i guess it is intuitive, in a way. but on the other hand it doesn't seem possible that there can be only ONE cause. still very interesting though. and he says sleep is sleep, it doesn't matter when you take it! that just goes against everything i've ever heard. weird. i mean, he did say sleep should coordinate with circadian rhythms, which is probably a big part. right i don't even think i'm making sense anymore.
back to preparing for introsem presentation.
oh.. a few of my favourite things from www.demotivator.com. first seen on sean's computer! haha. this is one of the times when i wish i were using windows then i can d/l their free trial screensaver. but this was to cheer myself up while feeling blue just now. there're a few more i like, but can't be bothered to upload. one can't have too much of a good thing. haha.
hahaha there was so much noise outside and i was wondering what in the world was happening when I realised it was midnight and it's dead week. primal scream! rofl. darn. i think i should have shrieked somemore. i'm the one who has to spend the week studying cos all my finals/papers are on the first day. but anyway it was still hilarious:D sometimes i still can't believe i'm here.
let me quote from some website or other
"The Primal Scream takes place every quarter at Stanford during the week of intense studying that precedes final exams. On Sunday, at the stroke of midnight, hundreds of undergraduates all across campus lean out the windows of dorms and libraries to vent their anxieties in one enormous, collective yell."
anyway. i went for this musical called "into the woods"! it was really lucky cos my dormmate had extra tickets and were giving them away (!!) wow. and the theatre isn't even a huge one or anything.. I mean I guess the cast wasn't the original broadway one but still. they're pretty good. even though I feel guilty for not doing work:| and had to leave int'l dinner early.
and then saw the nutcracker on saturday.. at the war memorial opera house. man i didn't know it was going to be so posh..
http://sfwmpac.org/gallery/gallery.html#wmoh
forgot to bring my camera sigh. how was i supposed to know that there'll be anything worth taking!! ahh. and there was this pastry confection thing made by fairmont - a model of a huge house and a nutcracker doll and polar bears and various other animals.. all made out of chocolate/biscuit/sth! it was awesome.. okay not that it was really pretty or anything but it was definitely cool. I can't find a picture of it though:( darn. maybe i should ask the rest if they took a photo of it.
pity that the seats that we got as a dorm (okay, more like as a hall since it was the whole of westflo) were kinda pathetic.. very very near the top of the entire opera house, which is really far up. I guess one can't expect too much for paying $5 haha. it was still fun though.
can't believe the quarter's almost over.. a's seem so far behind but it still doesn't feel like december. pple were saying that they don't feel like it's dec cos there's no snow, but i think for me it's the idea of having started school in late sept that is just weird.
yay! we vacuumed our room today, it's so nice and clean:)
oh for the first time (i've been resisting this as long as possible) i wore three layers (instead of two). at least i didn't freeze in church. and also for the first time in the long time i had brunch at my dorm (and poor jon had to walk back to wilbur haha:p) cos sean was busy so we didn't go for lunch (which is also fine, since i'm still quite broke)
ooh my roommate just played mariah carey's "all i want for christmas is you".. it's so nice. anyway. one of my dormmates just knocked on the door and said, "i'm collecting donations for alcohol on friday". [friday there's this huge party at west-flo] and i just stared at him and was like "wat?" and he laughed at me n said that was the cutest look he'd ever seen. uh. okay. i certainly didn't know looks of stupefaction could be cute. but anyway i was quite puzzled as to why he was going around asking for donations when they're already using $500 out of dorm funds for the party!
i can't listen to christmas music now or i won't do my work! sigh. but i think christmas music is very happy and nice:) and christmas is my favourite time of the year! the whole atmosphere anyway. bells and cheer and pretty decorations and ... ahh. it reminds me of chorale xmas songs too though haha. have yourself a merry little xmas and oh.. i've just forgotten the name of that other song. ugh. when i remember i will put it in. it's so annoying!! i can see the score in my head, and the notes, but i just can't remember the lyrics.. gah.
and it reminds me of bellagio! and 'O'! ahh. and hearing "carol of the bells" at the famous fountains of bellagio which also reminded me of ri/rj xmas concert. i wish i could watch "O" again without having to pay more insane amts of money. i think it cost US$150 that time as it was. ugh. best seats though.
okay better get back to work. dunno why i'm suddenly feeling stressed. maybe cos all my finals are on the first day, meaning everything has to be done by then. ahh!
i'm awfully awfully awfully sleepy! waking up at 4.30am for shopping is no joke. thanksgiving sales galore! haha. i think the grad students went crazy at gilroy.. i'm happy with what i got! yay. even though i didn't buy that much stuff. was happily wearing my new jacket (okay, having to wear it in my room cos i'm cold is not happy, but having it at all is happy:) wahaha. and i'll have to wash the jeans before wearing. but well. yay!
i'm happy tonight cos i've sort of finished math hw (finally!) okay i only had a couple of questions but it's done. except for a few questions which i shall have to ask chuansheng haha. and pam emailed! yay! haha. i should really email more people so i can be happier more often.
anyway while waiting for the grad students to finish their shopping me n kiat were stoning at the cafe.. I don't know why I suddenly want to go home so much. I guess it's cos it's thanksgiving week and everyone else gets to go home and we can't. I mean it's good to stay around and have some peace and quiet but it's different. and I wonder what I'll think when I'm back home.. maybe I'll wish that I was back here. the grass is always greener on the other side eh. but no doubt it'll be interesting.
although, like i was telling kiat, i can foresee myself having to answer tons of "how's stanford?" and etc.. i think i should like prepare a speech and just press replay whenever the question comes up. but actually I don't even know what to say. I can't say things like "it's really great!" cos well, yeah it is great sometimes but other times it isn't great at all. and I hate saying things I don't mean. actually sometimes it's really contradictory. this is the -strive-for-balance-side of me coming out. i can even analyse myself now, this has got to be chuansheng's fault. he always does that.
so, i think it'll definitely be interesting. going home for a while with a new perspective. and also increased mobility and good FOOD!! ahh. and CHEAPER prices!! okay. clar is becoming very aware of money after realising she is very low on funds, which wasn't (and isn't) supposed to happen so soon.
but once i go home i think i won't want to come back cos it means i have to do work. but again if i do take my fun courses then it shouldn't be so bad, hopefully. i am unbelievably lazy. i don't want to study, don't want to work, ... and i won't want to leave my comfy room! (with no alarm clocks!) although actually i believe i've heard my mom's / bro's alarm clocks before. it's been a nice week with a temporary-single room, but i guess it'll be nice to have everyone back nxt week.
actually i'm so sleepy. but i decided i must wax lyrical for a while on the joys of cirque du soleil. watched corteo today! sorry jane for ditching you but well.. since i had a ride back and a ticket with sporeans.. heh. it really seems like providence that i decided to ask if any of the others wanted to watch cirque du soleil today and then daryl happened to remember that zhihui said they were going down this week and they happened to be going today! if that makes sense.
i was soo happy while watching the show. unfortunately it only lasted during the show. i guess when it ends, it ends. but anyway.. the first act reaffirmed the feeling i had when watching O.. that they have so many characters on stage/things going on that it's hard to decide where to look. i suppose one learns to ignore the periphery. i think they made wonderful use of the theme.. like turning beds into trampoline-ish things! okay maybe that isn't so original but it was still great anyhow:) and the performer on the aerial straps was one of the strongest i've ever seen.. awesome!
oh and there were two "horses"!! haha. i was also very happy when i saw them. like, i was meant to see this show. anyway this show was really quite different from the rest.. when i walked in and saw the screen with the rich opulent setting i was like wow.. i've never seen this before.. and the costumes were very different too. prettier, in my opinion:) the other cirque shows i've watched tend to have kinda more garish costumes (except O)
there was this fantastic flamenco-rhythmic gym act.. okay it wasn't really flamenco but they had red spanish-looking dresses so well. anyway they're fabulous! when i saw them i was thinking how lijia would've loved it.. and peiying too.. actually i was just thinking everyone should have come with me, they would have enjoyed it. oh and i realised cat 3 seats, if you get the front few rows, aren't so bad, but the problem is watching the performance from the side.. i don't know if it looks just as good as it should from a different angle. and as it was our seats were slightly blocked by the light-post.. so at the beginning i was kind of annoyed by it, but wat to do.
i can't remember if i said this before but i know why i like cirque du soleil! when they have more than one person doing the same routine/watever, they're always perfectly synchronised (okay it doesn't always happen all the time, but the large majority is gd enough) and that is just wonderful. i think i like perfection too much. enough to pay insane amounts of money for it. blah. i need to be rich.
and the juggling acts.. the pple dropped the stuff once but they tried again and did it perfectly.. i don't know if they staged it or it really happened, but i think we clapped all the more louder when they succeeded. reminds me of introsem heh. it means more when they didn't get it right the first time but managed to the second. maybe it shows that they're still human, contrary to what we may think:p
i just remembered. my two complaints: 1. not long enough (1.5hrs with 30min intermission) 2. soundtrack not out yet
alright i'm too sleepy to say anymore.. alcatraz was certainly interesting.. and i'm quite sure there were no woman prisoners, haha. and then when we heard christmas songs being played in mac's.. i'm like.. why're they playing that?? it just puts me in a holiday mood such that 1. i don't feel like doing work 2. i want to go home and slack. okay i guess they're about the same, but well. and then wandering into borders to browse around.. the feeling of actually being in town as compared to confined to palo alto/stanford.. that was really good. i think i complain too much. time to sleep.
i am now feeling very poor. i shall revise my outlook on life and become a miser. (well, starting from after tomorrow since i'm going to watch cirque du soleil yay!:)
anyway i visited woonteng's blog and found this horoscope-thing. think it's partially accurate. ser will agree with the high standards part eh? haha. oh speaking of which the new harry potter show.. i think i'm learning not to judge shows by their books but for what they are. even though while i was watching the show i kept remembering details that they left out. i'm just prone to nitpicking. the actors have really grown up.. kinda interesting.
horoscope from: http://www.alabe.com/freechart/
Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Capricorn
You are practical and reserved but very ambitious. An achiever and a hard worker, you respect success. Older looking and very serious as a youth, things lighten up and you relax more as you mature. You have a serious view of the world as being a difficult place to be in. Very envious of those who seem to have an easier life than you have, relaxation and play do not come easily. It is important that you had abundant parental support as a child so that you do not feel lonely and isolated as an adult. Generally, you have a good, earthy sense of humor that can carry you through when times really do get tough. You are purposeful, self-willed, industrious, realistic and responsible.
Sun is in 15 Degrees Libra.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it.
Moon is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity.
Mercury is in 07 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony.
Venus is in 19 Degrees Scorpio.
Your feelings about others are deep, powerful, intense and complex. When you like someone, you do so totally and obsessively if you do not like someone, they do not exist. Your faithfulness and loyalty to your lover is unquestioned, indeed at times it is too much so -- you get so possessive that you almost smother your partner. At times, your feelings are kept deep within you and, because they are so complex and intense, they frighten you -- this is the way that you try to ignore them. But the more you try to do this, the more explosive things get when you eventually do express them.
Mars is in 00 Degrees Aquarius.
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!
Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Pisces.
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries.
Saturn is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius.
Basically quite conservative, you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life. You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing.
Uranus is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.
Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.
Pluto is in 06 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.
N. Node is in 20 Degrees Aries.
You're at your most comfortable when involved in group activities outside of your immediate family circle. You delight in getting involved with others in neighborhood civic or political activities, especially if you can be a part of the leadership of the group. Your zeal and overabundant energy bring out your real creativity when you can work toward tangible results -- things that will immediately benefit those around you. You have a real gift for getting the most out of charity drives and community benefits. Take time out between projects though, because you tire out easily and your effectiveness becomes greatly diminished when your energy is depleted. Also, don't even think of trying to get involved at a peripheral level -- you need a total commitment to feel personally fulfilled. Let others bake the cookies and set up the chairs -- you should be the one to tell everyone what to do and when to do it!
after a hectic week.. i'm suddenly feeling very free. just came back from gaieties.. it wasn't really that centred around cal-bashing. plus i didn't think it was very funny/impressive. but the lead singers were quite good. the girls anyway, i didn't really like the guy. reminded me of chicago on broadway though.. that was awesome!:) want to watch more broadways! haha. but i need $$ man. sigh. i'm so tempted to buy cat 1 seats for corteo with jane but i don't know if i should.. or whether cat 3 seats are that bad. blah.
the irony of it all; after the last (which also happens to be the first) ihum paper, i vowed to start earlier so i wouldn't have to stay up till 4.30am on thursday night (or friday morning) to write it, but no.. the same thing happened. i really don't get it.. maybe it's my tendency to procrastinate. or the idea that i can just keep thinking.. and thinking.. and thinking.. until it's too late and there's no more choice! ugh. anyway i'm surprisingly awake given that i slept at 3.45 and woke up around 7.40 (not by choice, i was planning to wake up at 8.40 but i woke up anyway, maybe cos my subconscious mind was telling me i needed to get that paper done) and when i tried to take a nap just now i didn't succeed. but now i'm a bit tired. time to sleep 10hrs!! yeahh..
uh. well. oh.. i've downloaded like half the soundtracks for kA.. i really like love dance! maybe cos of the harp. and the cello. i think those are my two favourite instruments. i want the CD though. US$19.50:| hmm. okay i think i shall go bathe and sleep.
am listening to jay chou's kai1 bu4 liao2 kou3 and it starts off with this airplane noise thingy.. reminded me of 17th sept.. the day before flying here. the day at sentosa, and ending up reaching home so late and going out for dinner and rushing to pack when i was SO tired. haha. and getting scolded for not packing earlier/going out even though i hadn't packed. and now i'm here already it seems almost comic (heh, wolff's favourite word when lecturing ihum) that i was so worried about forgetting to bring stuff.
and then not being able to sleep even though i was so tired (maybe the fatigue wore off) and then waking up with a horror of leaving my home. of not being around, even though it's only for 3 months. actually now that i think about it i still don't like the idea, especially when i'm not going home next winter, hmm. but anyway. it's easy to look back and shrug it off. but that terror was very real. ah well.
also reminded me of the tea/watever at marche with church pple.. when jason came back and was telling us about british slang and the oxbridge rivalry. i wonder wat i'll have to say about stanford-cal rivalry haha. today someone in my ihum section was trying to sell a shirt. it said "cal" in front. and at the back "stanford was too hard to spell" or sth to that effect.
anyway.. i was so amused (and bemused) by the appearance of this email entitled "our humble contribution" in my inbox, with 2 pictures of freezers. one with joel grinning from ear to ear. so, here is the much-loved, well-stocked freezer of the occupants of 2094 yale street. i must make sure i mention that this fantastic freezer of theirs contains "20 lbs of meat!" (not to mention guo1 tie1s and i assume, at one point in time, pineapple tarts)
this is the reason i was at their house yesterday. hahaha. oh.. should have sent me a pic of the shrine too. haha.
ahaha! i have just introduced my roommate to the wonders of hello panda. haha. she agrees it's addictive. i think i finished off 3 packets today. :| oh well. at least i'm not daryl who bought like 5 (rather huge) packets of bin bin. and then when we were at ranch99 yesterday daryl was like "i heard from sean you told him to go outside and wait cos u were going to take a long time" and i'm like !!! that guy.. i'm sure daryl heard something else too but i forgot wat.
lunch was good! haha. i have discovered the joys of honey walnut prawns thanks to sean too. joel was like "his three favourites: honey, walnut, prawns". and then i don't know how come they served us bubble tea, but then daryl was drinking his bubble tea and sucked too hard or sth cos suddenly a pearl shot out of the straw and ricocheted to the back of his throat and then he jumped slightly and looked very shocked. it was so funny la he's forever so ridiculous..
oh here's a pic frm yesterday's dinner
back (l - r): zhihui (i'm v sure she was tarbet mass dance capt or sth.. anyone find her familiar? i know she was an spsl though), sean, daryl, wenzheng, kevin, kevin's gf (i'm not sure how to spell her name), me!
front (l - r): xianyi with the two birthday boys joel and ruixiong
okay i really should be doing work not doing this but ahh.. i listed out the stuff i have to do. it doesn't seem like that much, but i know it's a lot. ugh. too unstressed for my own good
ohhh i just remembered sth else that happened yesterday/today thanks to kiat.
yesterday during dinner sean was in ecstasies over this bak chor mee place, and decided that we were going to lunch there today. so we went there and then found joel and daryl standing outside. cos the place closed down and there was another restaurant in place of it!
they (sean n joel) were so disappointed..
sean "brother.. the sun has set.."
joel "yes brother.. it is a dark day.."
and they went on in that line for a while.
then when we went to their house to visit and ailin came along with the most fabulous egg tarts i've eaten.. (from chinatown in SF! 1029 grant street! haha) and apparently she knew that place closed down but didn't tell them so they were complaining. and saying they should go into mourning; rend their clothes and put on ashes and sackcloth. it was SO funny.. oh and their freezer is very full of meat.
yesterday joel defined chicken and fish as vegetables, i don't know why.
ruixiong "do you think you'll be okay?" (walking back to my dorm from his, which is like 50m away)
me "no, i'll get mugged on the way"
ruixiong "that's okay"
me: !!!
i was being sarcastic, but still. haha.
oh, one from sean last sunday i think.
zhongjie (hopefully that's the way his name is spelt, hmm) was talking about going to the gym and sean was saying he had to do reps as a swimmer. and i can't remember if it was zj/jon who said "oh you were a swimmer?" and sean said "yeah but now i'm a blobber"
it kind of reminded me of lydia though. the word "blob". maybe cos it used to be her msn nick.
daryl, yesterday, on his phone which wouldn't receive/make phone calls. "my phone is incognito" (he meant to say incommunicado)
i couldn't stop laughing even in math after that.. cos the image of a emperor riding in a sedan (or on a horse) to the countryside appeared in my mind. and i was wondering what daryl's phone was pretending to be.
and i thought this nonsense with the alarm clock was over. if i didn't have to wake up early to go for melody i'd be severely annoyed. 7am, 7.40am, 8.20am (and this one went on for like 15mins cos she refused to get up) and then 8.40am.. i think i'm going to be deaf by next fall. unless by some happy chance my classes start earlier than hers.
ah. i see. she has just informed me that she intended to wake up at 7 (!!) to do work but she couldn't get up. cos she wants to do work so she can go out and do other stuff. hmm. anyway, its kind of weird she doesn't seem to feel bad. maybe i expect too much.
i think i'm very capable of just holing myself up in my room given there's so much work to do. bah. actually i know i thought i had a LOT of stuff to do yesterday night but now when I list it out I feel like I'm forgetting something.
oh. and dining hall food is quite sucky half the time. should go to wilbur more often haha. at least they have chinese food. and at least i get to eat something nice every sunday:D
chim's coming over today! haha. but that horrible girl didn't tell me, i had to hear it frm wang ning.
ooh okay i saw chim already:) anyway she mite be coming over with jane nxt week! how fun! haha. wish the rest could be here too though. bleah. if i had my way i'll probably wish for half my sec 4 class to be around.
and i was telling jon just now.. it's so sad.. when teaching lil kids piano you feel SO happy when they manage to get through a page of sheet music. at least i didn't have to figure out how to teach her about time signatures haha. i really wonder how my teacher managed to teach me last time.
ah i forgot to add something else. just now during math section i was telling chuansheng that during ihum, when we were analysing joyce's dubliners, one guy was like saying that american kids feel stifled by the education system - follow the prepared path through grade school then college then get a job.. and that is exactly wat everyone says in spore. looks like it really applies universally.. the notion of "once you get out of your country (or state or hometown) everything'll be fine".
definitely there's a difference in perspective and all, but after a while it does become the same situation. it's the mindset you have to escape from. like my feeling of wanting to go for a holiday.. it's the same as it was in rj. so what has changed, really?
this is partly why ihum is depressing sometimes. it points out things one is normally in denial about. like the stuff we read from tolstoy was about how people're obsessed with material stuff and only realise they ought to have lived otherwise when they were at the brink of death. okay baldwin wasn't so depressing, possibly cos i still don't really understand/like it. and joyce's dubliners is about paralysis/epiphanies and actually tolstoy n joyce write a little about social convention too.
okay i'm going to think about nxt quarter courses and sleep cos i can feel myself zoning out already
moderately eventful week. actually. no. the only event was getting sick. on monday night i decided i desperately needed sleep and therefore purposed to sleep before 10. unfortunately, after happily thinking i had no more work to do/..., i suddenly realised i hadn't written my introsem essay yet. freak. so i wrote 2 pages worth and then it was 11pm so i decided it was time to sleep.
woke up at 4.30 with the feeling of inevitability. throat/nose/watever felt weird. 37.6degrees! yay.. go back to sleep. wake up, still around there. toyed with idea of skipping introsem later (while editing/finishing my essay). went down to breakfast, ate fruits and padded along to econ lect. in no condition for running so better leave earlier. econ lect was okay, not particularly illuminating that i remember of. back to nice warm dorm.
during lunch had to go look for all the nonheaty stuff (not that there's alot to begin with). oh before that i finally decided i was going to skip introsem and dance and come back and sleep. i decided i couldn't survive 1h15 of pointless discussion and 1h30 of moderate exercise. thankfully no midterms this week.
came back after math, which was also only slightly useful. and slept. roommate was like "are you taking a nap?" and i'm like "i'm sick! i have the right to sleep!" and she's like "watever roomie.." cos she's forever taking naps (and most of the time she's not sick)
anyway thankfully by wed i was quite alright and today even better yay~ my toes were cold on mon/tues night though. random comment. haha. and i had this really weird dream on monday that i was back in spore and i forgot to pack anything (i.e. no luggage or sth) so all my stuff was still here. and feeling an acute sense of annoyance/despondency cos i'd left all my stuff behind and i wasn't about to get on a plane back here to get all my stuff. crazy stuff that dreams are made of.
have to choose classes for next quarter soon and i am torn between so many things! rather equates to being totally clueless. am seeing my advisor tmr, but i'm not sure he'll be of much help. all he's going to say is to advise me not to take 20 units again. actually when i went to see him i said i was gonna take 18 and he was already advising me against that. ahh.
not in a very good mood tonight.. don't feel like doing my work especially cos i know i have so much stuff to do. bah. tmr there's the performance, then sat morning there's melody (i almost regret doing this) sat night dinner out, sunday church, ihum thesis and introsem outline due monday, ...... how depressing. and i desperately need to practice math. ahh!!! i want to skip next week and go straight to thanksgiving. "like monopoly", chuan sheng says. haha.
man. i'm so glad that midterm is over. i'm not so sure how i did though, sigh. hopefully it'll be good to make up for all the nonsense i've been handing in for econ. it was a rather terrible realisation that there're only a few more problem sets to boost my grade. and i was so zoned out after it i didn't even recognise xianyi when he biked past haha oops. until he called me and i looked properly and was like oh.. haha.
actually my head is still a bit woozy right now. i better sleep early tonight, who cares if i finish reading introsem. haha. and thankfully i managed to get the dance tickets.. and i talked to my ihum tf about my paper.. it was very reassuring:) maybe i'm not so bad at ihum after all, given that that first paper was written in virtually two days or less. (although chuan sheng keeps saying that doesn't matter, hmph) but anyway i'm feeling proud of myself for now yay
oh i tried jamba juice for the first time today. it's.. interesting. and it was so funny.. i suddenly heard "clarissa lin!", whirled around, saw sean and wondered what he was doing there. "yeah.. monday morning right" (cos he watches webcast instead sometimes) anyway he started telling me all the good flavours.. haha he really is synonymous with good food. oh we went to coldstone creamery yesterday! it was fantastic.. it reminded me of the dairy queen thing last time at mobil petrol station where you can choose what you want to mix into the ice cream.. ahh. different, but still good! and i was late for econ review session but who cares. haha. food is more impt! oops.
i'm hungry! :( but i don't think i should be eating dry/heaty stuff. oh dear. guess i'll just starve.
ah i just remembered i had to do laundry.