right. so i've the night left to finish chem s tutorial n maths s [3 or 4 more questions] now why didnt' i finish them on friday.. sigh. seem to find chem s tutorials quite tedious. which is quite ridiculous because i chose to take it in the 1st place so i should be finding it interesting. which it is! but just being lazy i guess. as usual. don't seem to want to work for anything i want.
yesterday's dinner was fun fun fun! haha. even though -ahem- we spent 2 hrs waiting for pam. who, as usual, didn't have enough money. and lyd was so delighted with boxing gloves. and scolding pam for being unclassy when she herself wasn't being very classy;p and wistfully staring at all the sofa seats and was very satisfied when one table freed up and she finally got to sit on her darling sofa. yup. pity i couldn't stay longer... didn't have much time to catch up with them. lyd n pam together are hilarious. though we missed chris *glare* and jane *double glare*
ssef frm mon to wed. groan. hope it turns out fine. oh went to the career fair yesterday. wasn't particularly helpful to me like i told jan. except that i got to ask about the delf thingy. wonder if i'll actually go to france and study heh.
hmm. colorgenics is uncannily spot-on w.r.t. [haha diffn?] mood analysis. www.colorgenics.com! go try it! heh. though it kind of describes the whole week not so much just today. heh. like the way i feel cooped up. n how tired i feel. and the stress! the source of which i've no idea. bit scary the way its so accurate. more the last 3 paragraphs.
Results:
You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.
You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.
You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.
Unacceptable restrictions have been forced upon you and this is resulting in severe frustration and stress. You are looking for independence and consequently you shy away from any restriction and avoid obligations of anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressure and want to escape from it so that you can obtain what you need, but unfortunately at this particular moment in time you lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this.
Trying to cope with conditions which you think are beyond your capabilities has led to considerable anxiety and stress. You now feel that you are not capable of coping with this situation and indeed any situation which could arise from what you consider to be your personal inadequacy.
woah. very relieved:) and happy:) haha. after worrying. anyways it was quite funny mrs cheong was saying they can get it by 11.. then raphael n serene were like "clarissa's dying already" so she should go get it now.. so mrs cheong was like "huh?? really ah?! okay okay i'll go n get now" n she ran off:p so nice:)
yup congrats to all those who did well!:) n a level results.. like woah.. weiying!! haha.. and kelvin n sicheng n all..
quite scared. we'll be like them next year.. hopefully will be as happy haha. i think i'm kind of struggling at the moment.
anyways i forgot to mention something on monday during math s poor val was stuck between serene [who had her bf with her] and me.. and i was like raining insults on serene half the time and val was quite amused. n then i realised i only do that to serene haha quite poor thing.
rather tired now. don't know why. off to rest. quite worried about ssef.. poster is undone, haven't practised presentation since last nov.. i still hafta go back to sch for choir.. dunno how also. n i think my mom has got something on in the morning.
sigh. suddenly yesterday after all the tests i felt so drained [like peiying says, though i'm not sure its the same reason] and very fatigued. and so. cooped up. like i was complaining to fiona/hk.. i'm either at home/in school. and its always the same route home, blah blah blah. its so tiringly routine and boring. study for tests.. oh yay they're over.. time to catch up on tutorials.. i want a holiday.. a real holiday like french immersion/vegas/sth to just play. and relax.
haha. this is actually quite funny. i think i only felt this way occasionally after june [?] but definitely not 1st term. quite sad that it actually happens now and then. tho actually during syf period i was feeling quite desperate about lagging work. but that's different. from feeling sick and tired of everything.
anyways.. at least i think i've nice dinner on saturday to look forward to:) hopefully. might have to go to ntu in the morning to do ssef stuff though. means i might miss sectionals. hmm. speaking of which ssef means i'll miss 1 1/2days of school. not very good actually. sigh.
and ao results are out tmr too i think. i'm quite worried really. don't know why. maybe cos i din like the compre passage? can't remember already. and i noe i was one of the few who did the passe simple compo topic. hopefully am being paranoid and i'll get the grade i want. then can go out n celebrate:D heh. but the way i'm feeling u'd think i already know i didn't get wat i want. aaugh. help me. somehow seems like i don't care about it anymore though. cared much more about o level french than ao level.
anyways all the best to pple getting back chinese!:) hope u all do fine:)
o yeah and today's pe was. well. can't find a word to describe it. ms chan was making us doing some pilate [sp?] exercises or something like that and it was like choir breathing exercises. man. candice n me n jiahui were like. okay.
haha i looked at my previous post starting with "well well well" n reminded me of fiona's very pathetic joke. anyhow. band concert was gd! would have been better at a diff venue definitely.. couldn't see most of the players.. bah.. haha.. eunice as the newest member of the softball team was quite funny:p pity they didn't have ensembles though hmm. last yr's percussion one was good:)
and yesterday's mugging was hilarious.. i never knew tiff could be that mad:D rather amazing really haha. self-sufficiency by sleeping on ur own shoulder? and singing all sorts of songs n going crazy.. heh:p and jan was hilarious too.. she's really one for dropping food:) (and chairs haha) n when she scolded ben!! haha.. mingze's chipmunk imitation was v funny too:p can really imagine her when she's a mom getting all flustered over her little kids haha;p n alvin imitating mingze "guys... [followed by grammatically incorrect sentence]" n ben telling jiahui "u've done 7 GOOD qns!! 7 SOLID qns!" the look on jiahui's face was priceless:D haven't laughed that much in a long time. it was fun:).. even tho i don't noe any of them particularly well
well well well. i'm still wondering who told dr chan. dunno felt quite weird. anyway. i shall just forget about it. but haha. well. today's chem lect test. supposed to have 2 more white slips. i wonder. wat does he have against our class.
anyways. yes. screwed up test. plus e long ago screwed up class test. plus a substandard chem s tut. not gd. nvm i shall redeem myself in common tests hopefully. better make sure i do anyhow. n nxt weeks tests!
at least tmr's the band concert.. 1812!! haha:) wanna see eunice hitting the bass drum heh:p i wonder if i've d/led the mp3 before hmm.
sitting here eating junk food. haha. rather unhealthy but havent done that for quite some time. and reaching home before its dark! i seem to say the same thing every week but sometimes every day just seem so long ( or maybe cos i always fall asleep in the evenings :p )
tumdeedum. miss lyd n chris suddenly. and i wanna find new songs! or nice new cds to play at night so i won't fall asleep. but actually sometimes i wonder if they really help me or i'm just playing them for the sake of it.
i'm quite pissed off at the moment. actually i'm not very sure why. can't pinpoint the exact reason. let me recount the story of my 1st white slip. how lovely. it wasn't even a real break.. just decided to go to canteen and get something to eat. and then i met sharon. who said "wow u still dare to use string ah" and then after that candice said "how come eunice and the rest disappeared" and then dr chan called me. and then i realised. quite slow huh. considering sarah was looking at how guai1 she looked in the reflection frm the notice board glass before we stepped into the canteen.
was kinda surprised he remembered my name. but not good. anyways. and then he was like telling mrs tan and this other tcher [dunno name] "this is amerson's sister.. u noe?? amerson??" and i was thinking.. so wat if i'm his sister.. trying to say that he's so smart n successful n watever other crap n here i am breaking sch rules? maybe i'm being oversensitive or sth but anyway pity i couldn't say it [e so wat part]. if not i'd probably get another white slip for like audacity or disrespect or some crap. [okay somehow i don't think that would have happened but nvm] i think i kind of understand why leslie wud get pissed off when tchers confuse him with his bro.
interesting huh so many thoughts flitting thru while i was standing there.
anyways. and then siewjin also kenaed white slip frm him. cos e back of her blouse came untucked. i don't think it was very obvious in the 1st place. how stupid is that. jane informed me that she has taken to wearing her sweater everywhere. which is quite smart actually. just that its a bit hot. haha. and kahli says she gets e guys to buy food for her haha:p i find it most unreasonable because i think i still looked presentable. but of cos maybe i'm wrong. i guess i was kind of asking for it by not abiding by the sch rules but still am quite disgruntled to say the least.
oh it was quite a difference seeing mag with black hair haha:p i mean yeah, should wear nice and neat uniform and stuff but u don't have to overdo it.. like there was the other time i think lyd was telling me that someone got booked cos the tcher sed her blouse was too tucked out. n i think she herself got booked for a skirt that was slightly too short. that's really quite ridiculous. k i think i've ranted enough. and there're more things which i don't care to mention here.
anyways it was interesting going for lunch:) jane n crys n kahli n lynette. realised all of them take econs. don't feel like writing much more.
stupid chem s which i don't know how to do and am guessing blindly. feeling half tired and frustrated cos i've been sleeping so much [5 hr nap yesterday, 9 hrs at night, 2.5hr nap today.. who can sleep that much? only me] and therefore have tons of stuff to do. giving me crap abt science stuff again. it's always the same thing somehow. really gets on my nerves. it's not like i wanted it to be this way. totally screwed up.
to top if off yahoo is annoying me again with the extra side searching thing which is freaking spastic and extra and unnecessary.
bah. k feeling better after letting all tt steam off. tmr will be a better day. at least there's no math s haha. oh on a side note now our math tutorials are quite hilarious somehow the things mr chan says are v amusing:D
okay. its been a week! i guess i didn't have much to say. anyways. i think i'm almost recovered frm lack of sleep the past 2 nights. 5 hr nap! ugh. and a pile of work waiting for me. ugh somemore.
anyways i think i was too zoned out during the whole camp to actually evaluate it. but guess it was quite good:) after all the planning n executing stuff n helping with the logistics n food n everyth. n preparing for bfast at 1am haha:)
everyone was quite enthu abt e games [slightly surprising haha:] and then i think the j1 batch seems quite bonded. which is good:) though we didn't talk to them much oops:s but it was fun sitting in the altos' room listening to everyone. albeit a bit antisocial heh:p while poor zhiyin n jiahui were sitting around like vagrants cos they let everyone bathe 1st:p o yeah really appreciated the stuff frm ben n alvin n mingze... it was rather unexpected heh and e stuff frm jan too:) n fiona. n sarah. :)
e boardwalk was nice! kind of scenic n stuff. and the chalet was quite huge too. just not very clean. haha. and very ulu. such that we spent $11.70 on cab to parkway. well. n met mingjing n her sis n mom! quite cool. yeah. n we were really fortunate to get seats together [10 pple!] in the foodcourt it being kinda crowded. yup. had a good time in all. now. dinner!
nice funky jazzy songs today!:) haha. they sound quite fun:) think concert will be more varied. n probably more enjoyable.. groovy beat! haha. and the "if i can help help help somebody" tune is stuck in my head now. well. should get used to it huh. since it almost always happens. o well. alrite. ought not to be online given that i just watched ice age. its so cute! i like the mammoth. and the sabretooth tiger was actually quite nice too in the end. glad he didn't die. haha.
haha well its been a week. quite fast. also cos of hari raya holiday. felt quite slack this week cos i rushed horrible bio tutorial on mon. but again i'll have to go read the topic properly since i was just copying off. heh.
sigh. so now i'm a bit backlogged with maths s. so tempted to just leave parts undone n copy the answers on monday but will see how. i still can't get over how i can just spend time trying and trying n not succeeding.
haha and today's physics prac.. i think sometimes me n aud muddle each other up. but its quite funny actually we'll not understand this/that in dc circuits and aud will be like "i'm going to whine at her [mrs cheong] again!" but at least i think we understand in the end. hopefully. okay i just saw last fri's entry and almost the same thing happened. this has to be proof of how similar my fridays are. like the coming home early for once thing too. haha how sad.
o yes this week was 1st chem s session it was quite interesting actually. i mean i was more awake for it than math. maybe cos we discussed quite a bit and then everyone [okay well a few pple] ask questions n stuff. tho somehow i find that getting us to present then tcher present e given answers takes kind of long. but i guess its gd too seeing alternative solutions?
hmm. 1st time i'm back home early in a long looong while. it's been such a long time since i've seen the carpark empty and the sun still shining [well, behind the clouds] when i get home. today's weather was not bad! not as crazily cold as yesterday.. luckily:)
and phys prac was quite fun.. nice n slack;p and it was quite funny seeing audry whining. but anyway. audry asks v interesting questions. which are very good cos they make one think n understand the topic better. o yeah n thanks yaozong for helping me with chem s haha i'm like bugging him for every single little thing:s
yeah. at least last night the sing a song of sixpence weird rhythm tune part was out of my head. but there's tomorrow! aahh. well. i prefer pseudo yoik though its higher. oh yes now there're like 6 sop1s in all so i think i won't have to go up anymore. bit sad it was quite fun switching parts but i think its more comfortable now:D i wonder if he'll really give us that dunno-how-many-parts song to sing.. it'll be fun.. but challenging.
oh yeah. quote of yesterday would be junwan asking "what dropped?" when mr teo collapsed on the floor. couldn't stop laughing when pingying told me.. n "should i sprinkle some water?" n poking. n "is he still breathing?" but i guess it would have been rather scary:s hope he's all right.
yay! and tonight i think i can finally sleep before 1.. for the whole of the past week i've not slept before 1. except maybe last night which was 12.45 but well its almost 1 anyway. shall have to go n ponder over whether i feel like going to sch early to do bio prac. hmm. if he's going to give us another block to do it.. i won't bother! haha.
ahh. pe wasn't that bad surprisingly. n luckily she allowed us to take home gp to do. haha we were spposed to start on it in class but heck was doing maths s with ser instead. anyways it really makes more sense to have a proper timed exercise at home! ah anyway so pe was that trial napha test thingy which was so slack.. touch ur toes for 5 counts, at least 5 or 6 chin-ups, run ard 4.5rounds in 12mins, sbj. haha. yay!
maths s. woah. this is like the 2nd worst lecture.. after mammalian histology.. haha.. she was going like a shinkansen.. [i think for histo, ms teh was going like an airplane] and i was freezing and couldn't copy very fast. o well. wasn't that bad considering how i always nearly fell asleep in french last yr. guess it requires more brainwork. like i was telling val i wanted 2 pairs of ears [and another brain too haha]
okay! clar feels really really stupid. like chem halogen tutorial is so freaking hard. and chem s is definitely not much better. but 1st let me gripe abt halogens. i think i sat there for a few hrs per day for 3 days, thinking. or rather, staring at the tutorial and all the organic chem notes, wondering how in the world to get the answer. its so futile. given that [like my mom said] i don't even have much knowledge in the first place so thinking wouldn't help v much. which is actually quite funny in a pathetic sense:p
yeah. so i'll end up bugging yz/serene on sms/poor hannah online haha. and then when i find out the answer, its actually not that hard.. bahh.. this is really the first time i feel so so so pathetic! haha. interesting experience come to think of it.
-feels round- actually last night i felt rounder. but anyways.. ritz carlton! whoo~! i think its like posher than vegas.. probably cos of the art pieces n classical music. as compared to like casinos n smokers haha. service also seems better. or maybe its my memory:p
anyways it was a good dinner. cousin was amusing me with tales of nonsensical army stuff such as their xmas party and cny celebration. and we were talking abt choir stuff cos he was frm tpjc choir.
oh.. yes i was rather amused by my other cousin who came over in the morning.. she described her p5 teacher as "heartless" bcos she gave a lot of extra hw.. and then she was talking about her hamsters [which she used to be scared of handling, don't know about now] and saying "aiyah.. the sun always shines on them [their cage].. dunno whether they'll survive or not.. nvm lah if they die i don't want anymore.. so troublesome to keep.."
yeah. i love my cousin's grand piano. she's so lucky! with a huge house somemore. but like i said last dec i wudn't wanna live in it. and last night the sky was so clear! saw so many stars:) pretty starry night:)
bah. throat is still quite phlegmy. drink water!
hmm. rather sad reunion dinner. only realised the full extent of it when giving uncle n aunt a lift home and aunt was talking. yeah. rather a dysfunctional family my dad has. so the table was unusually empty and quiet.
yeah so the aunt whom we gave a lift to was like its so sad for grandpa cos he's so old and still got such problems.. supposed to enjoy old age and stuff but now like tt.. then i got all depressed too. well.
oh the dog's cute:) though actually i think its kinda ugly. and overactive. but it's still a nice loving dog. wish i had one! bleah. golden retriever! or a lab. or a mix.
yeah i'm quite tired now. left grandpa's hse [in tampines] at 9.20.. fetched aunt n uncle to woodlands and then went to pump petrol and then come back home. at 10.30. its like from west to east to north to west. sleep!!! haha.
yes i agree with serene tt doing s papers makes ur blanco-ing skills very polished. anyways. cny eve. quite uneventful really. 413 class lunch was quite good. haven't talked properly to puee n joon n pam in a long while:) pity everyone went off quite early though.
hmm. hope i won't be bored tonight. given that i can't speak dialect haha and its mostly adults there tonight. bleah. nvm there's still the dog to play with. hopefully.
ohh.. krishna n wuiming were really good today:) lovely! josh groban songs! ahh. i think i like foreign language songs. even though half the time i havent' the foggiest idea wat they're about.
thankew chris for lending me saltimbanco:) i was quite afraid u wudn't get my msg in time:p
hmm i remembered i wanted to write something but halfway i forgot. well. i'm at qn 8. seems okay for now but i still dunno how to do qn 1 n 3.
ohh! yes.. every monday mrs lim lets us off 10mins early cos we annoy her so much. its quite amusing:p kinda pity her i think we try her patience quite a bit. n luckily don't have to do the summary by tmr if not i'll just collapse;p
k i shall press on n finish maths s n finally feel accomplished
lovely. i'm half-sick and i have to finish my maths s tutorial by tmr so i can hand it up. ugh. and like the whole day pple have been going "haha u've to hand up".. thanks.. .... well. at least i think i won't have to hand it up for a loong time:D although it doesn't help tt i'm quite lousy at linear inequalities.
and looking at serene's/changmou's answers i feel extremely dumb and i'm like.. hmm.. how'm i ever gonna think of such things during exam.. i can't even do it now out of the exam hall.. bleargh. time to go redo the whole thing so it looks nice n presentable n mr chan won't kill me:p
clar thinks she is sick. after having a 5-hr nap [this must be the first time or at any rate it doesn't occur v often] and a sore throat and a blocked nose. ugh:( must hve been all the late nights plus not enough water. haha. well.
oh! i love "there for you" by sarah brightman and josh groban. should get like val n reginald to sing it haha. alright. i shall hafta go get somemore work done.