hakuna matata

okay i really should be reading my econ now but i'll get back to it later. cos this was something i wanted to blog about for a while but i kept forgetting!

i can't believe the (sch) year's almost over! :( it doesn't even seem like i accomplished what i wanted to. although i don't really think i had new year's resolutions. and 07 pple are graduating and 08 people are going to be seniors and we're gonna be juniors:| i'm not all that close to 07 pple so doesn't really matter to me as much. but then realizing that the a*star scholars of my batch (cs & jon) are gonna be leaving after next year and the juniors too (yf, jh, shineik, cat, steph, ...) so tragic! well at least ser should be coming so that will be fun:) and there'll still be 09ers around.. although i think more than half the people are going to be abroad at one point or another, not that i see them that often anyway.

and it still doesn't seem like i've found my niche/i've that much of a better idea of what i wanna do. sighh. how perplexing. oh and this random sporean added me on facebook and i had no idea why he'd added me until i realized he's stanford '11. haha. oops. aw little freshmen coming in, but we're all getting old!!! aaah.

a little out of sorts and don't feel like doing any work. it's been a long week. but i say that every week huh... heh. it's an awful feeling to go to class and not want to be there.. but somehow my initial excitement-about-classes has died off as the quarter progresses. which is really really sad!

i really hope that God shows me what it is that He has planned for me for next fall. well, actually, summer is kind of more important in a way. yup, summer would be nice. and then fall too. :| ahhh. anyway yes, what i'm going to end up doing during summer???! that dbs test thing was disconcerting. ugh. and fall, was I meant to go to oxford after all or stay back here? both ways I'm sure I'll still have a good time.. but then if I don't go I need to think about draw and that's always a tricky thing. augh. also given that it's nonpriority and nonpreferred. unless I staff next year? hmm. anyway if I need to draw I don't know who I should room/draw with.

weekend! more and more meetings and midterms coming up. oh i think i just need to sleep.. haha. the panacea to all ills. all MY ills, so it seems anyway. yay for borrowing pearline's wetsuit so I won't freeze in the water tmr! :)

albeit my lousy grade for my 2pg written-in-2-hrs-the-day-it-was-due psych paper, this class is really very interesting. so while the prof was lecturing on chinese cultural models today (i fell asleep for a while, but that's besides the point) and it suddenly dawned on me that it isn't necessarily wrong to be collectivist. it seems (to me, at least) that singapore is busy trying to get us all to be more unique and to stand out and be different, complaining that we're all coming out of one mould at the moment and that's bad. but maybe that's cos of the cultural context we come from, that harmony is important and being part of a whole, rather than standing out by doing your own thing, as they call it.

anyhow, i don't even know if that makes sense but i know i always feel the pressure to be different from other people, to find something that distinguishes me. and i suppose that might help me form my identity but really, sometimes it's just stressful. i think in general i've always been very afraid of doing something 'wrong', whether it's not-speaking-up, or speaking-up-and-saying-something-stupid, or not being able to define myself for interviews, or even now during art class, when i don't really know what the teacher's asking for but you can't really be WRONG in art cos it's whatever you want it to be/make out of it. which is kind of nice i guess. the freedom.

it's been a week since i posted! a VERY long week, in fact. sigh. partly cos i got hooked on another korean drama. :| haha. it's even older than full house (2004) too. beautiful days (2001)! i didn't even know lee byeong heon was one of the 'big four' as they call the four most popular korean actors. ahh.

anyway. apart from that. wasn't particularly well this week so that was sort of annoying. and i skipped windsurfing today cos 1) it was cold 2) i hadn't gotten a wetsuit yet 3) i decided i was still coughing and needed sleep. but i didn't really succeed in napping. sigh.

misha is right. i am cynical. and it doesn't help that jackie is just as (or even more) cynical as i am. cos i was telling her that i just don't feel anything. like the virginia tech shootings, i know it's a tragic thing to happen and all, but i can't seem to feel anything. i'm just like okay, this senior killed 33 people.
and then sealnet (or just service projects in general). i know they benefit less fortunate people (or i certainly HOPE so, at any rate) but i also don't feel anything. it's like a disconnect between the intellect and the heart.
and the last thing which i told her, about my drawing class. it's a lot of BS (like lit), the way they talk about oh, how the artist uses the lines to create something.. the curves say something... there was this particular picture which i unfortunately couldn't see any art in, it just looked like a mess of scribbles to me and people were making all sorts of things out of it. modern art, as long as you can crap something out, it's art.
so at this point misha was like why're you so cynical? and it reminded me of wat andrew said about geppers being cynical. so i told her, product of singapore. haha.

find your passion. what passion? i'm too lazy to be at stanford. no, let me correct that. i'm too lazy to be part of this world. it's all the protestants' fault (jackie: "damn those protestants!"), for the work ethic. that work is virtuous. i hate working! i think at one point in JC i did enjoy doing homework. and i guess my PWR paper should be fun since it's on cirque du soleil:) but nowadays i really can't be bothered to do my reading and that's just sad.

when the door is closed i feel like i'm in a world of my own. a world where i can do anything. but when the door opens, reality floods in.

anyway no i'm not depressed or anything. i wonder if this is like a cyclical thing. i know everytime we have one of these sealnet meetings i feel quite sian after that. it is, of course, supposed to do some good and help us improve but nobody ever likes these things. at least, i don't.

i really should go to bed. or get some productive work done. but it's been such a long week i don't feel like either of those two! and i keep having the weirdest dreams. okay they're not really that weird but i'd rather not dream.. dreamless sleep is usually best. at least i don't have to get up at 8 tmr.

i really am going to try not to have 9am classes every single day anymore. never again! :( sobs. or maybe i just need to be more disciplined about sleeping early. but you know, that hardly happens in college unless you have great willpower. which i don't really possess all the time.

art class is fun, get to sit around and draw stuff. i don't think i succeed all that well, but it's not too bad. there simply isn't enough time, though, i never really thought about how much time it takes to draw something. really admire megan & emilyn.

oh yes, and so while carrying my huge poster board & drawing block i lost control of my bike handles and crashed into a jolly little bush. it was a rather spectacular crash (although less so than a couple i've witnessed this year) and this guy came over and was like "are you okay?" while i really felt like cursing & swearing cos my knee felt like someone had hammered it with a lead pile, but i gritted my teeth and was like don't worry, i'm fine.. just lost control..

and i sat by the roadside and fumed for a bit. more like trying to bear the pain, but there you go. and the crowning glory: a caterpillar (one of the many infesting our lovely campus during this season) found its way onto my jacket. i should be glad it didn't get UNDER the jacket. eek.

hopefully my knee will be alright for windsurfing tmr, i really shudder to think wat'll happen if this waterproof spray thing doesn't work. probably will end up shrieking my head off!

bleah. anyway i feel remarkably unmotivated (as usual), it being the weekend and all. but dad's coming to visit for a couple of hours on sat (and fix my bike basket on, haha).

i shall take a leaf out of christina's book and post the sealnet flyer!! apply for projects if you're interested!:) it was an AWESOME experience.. so much fun.

WICKED!!!! haha. I am so blessed. So on Thurs afternoon I was at Meyer Library at an iMac G5 clearing up my mail cos it was reaching the limit soon apparently.. and then Kara (one of my dorm staff - focus assistants - cos my dorm is humanities-themed, so these FAs are in charge of humanities events) emailed me to say someone dropped out of the Wicked trip so I get to go!!! ahhh. and it's so great that I didn't have anything on Friday/today (well I was supposed to help with some AKPsi thing but whatever.. haha). and also that Steph (one of my other FAs) cashed my check and I never did get the $ back from her cos of rather weird circumstances.

but anyway.. so I got to go!!! yayyy. and it's even better cos I didn't get to watch Wicked in Chicago. Although maybe the front row seats may have been better in a way (we were nearer the back and the LA Pantages Theater was kind of big I think). But it was SO good.. the actress/singer playing Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) had SUCH a powerful voice.. man. Eden Espinosa. her alto voice is very rich and her sop voice is pretty powerful too. it's just such a pity that 1. the CD is of the original cast and 2. doesn't capture the power of the voices (i'm assuming the original cast was as good or even better). I guess being IN the theater and actually hearing the reverberations and stuff makes a huge diff. but the songs are still nice!

and I got to see LA! sort of, the traffic was so bad we didn't really get to walk down Rodeo Drive. And we only paid like $25 per person for everything.. cos our FAs got some grant (i.e. lots of subsidy).

It was rather exciting though, the musical ended about 4:50pm and we had to drive to the airport/return rental cars and our flight was departing at 7:25pm. so Kara was like "we all have to RUN as soon as the performances ends, okay?" anyway we got to the airport in good time.

We also got to visit Steph's house which was frickin' awesome!!! it is HUGE. actually, all the houses there are huge. and she has like every music instrument there is. okay maybe not, but 1 normal piano, 1 grand piano, 2 guitars, 1 drum set, 1 mini-cello, 1 violin (i think), .... and a pool.. and this really cute little cocker spaniel puppy. i wanted to steal it. and her mom/dad cooked SUCH GOOD FOOD. i haven't had such good kalbi in a while. i feel like home cooked is so much better. maybe cos more time to marinate or something. anyway i had like 4 pieces. yumyumyum. and sprinkles red velvet cupcakes ooohhh.

Wish I could spend more time in LA but nevermind.. next time! And then I shall visit Desirae and Esther too :)

spring break! man i can't believe it's over and spring quarter is starting soon.
link to photos are at the side..

anyway, quick recap of spring break:

SAT (Mar 24) got to chicago o'hare int'l airport late, flight was delayed. and then i was still figuring out my housing for that night! oops. i really will make it a point to get stuff like that done earlier next time. seems like i always have problems with housing. anyhow, after many phone calls back and forth to various long-suffering pple (including jiunwen & junwan) i ended up staying with jessica pan.

which is so funny cos when we were in sec 1 we were all like ooh! house capts! and then i end up staying with one of them. but she's really nice and funny and very hospitable, taking in some random kid (i.e. me) for the night.

SUN (Mar 25) umm. slept in (really not such a good idea) cos i was kind of sleep deprived from the two late nights after finals ended.. watching some hilarious korean movie w jackie and then matchpoint w dayoung.

had lunch w jason, he is so funny.. was muttering about how he could still handle taxis (on the road), just cut them off, but buses.. another story altogether. saw his apartment which had a really nice view except for these two high rise buildings which obscured parts of the lake michigan view.. the lake is so pretty!

went down to wai keong's apartment and saw aud! yay. haha. haven't seen her in a while. me & chim agreed the two of them are kinda cute together though:p
then jason dropped me off in campus, i was walking around and met gerald (and fellow frosh) for dinner and saw his dorm.

MON (Mar 26) original pancake house w aud n chim! yumyumyum. i love that place. but it's the sort of place you can visit only so frequently. made fun of exhibits at art institute (i think chim was rather disconcerted by my irreverent attitude at first), walked around downtown chicago and discovered this lovely choc cafe called moonstruck! it is SO cute. ahh. met megan for dinner, she brought us to grand lux cafe, a sister company of cheesecake factory. followed megan home.. i like evanston! i guess its more like stanford than uchicago.. more suburban.

TUES (Mar 27) met jiunwen and her bf at panera bread (haha! the company which i sort of analyzed!) i liked their iced green tea and raisin scone. yumyum. anyway, jiunwen had to rush for class so her bf gave me the tour of northwestern instead (i was so amused, really). northwesstern campus is really pretty.. a little like a park! also visited the baha'i temple (an architectural wonder, so it looks) and then the weather suddenly CHANGED and i froze. boo. i knew i should've worn shoes. but the awesome weather the past few days caught me off guard. played settlers at night w wk & hui leng, it was rather amusing although not as crazy as the monopoly game we had during thanksgiving

WED (Mar 28) wandered into downtown for the morning, did some shopping (YAY! i'm shopping deprived) and then left for UIUC. it's kinda weird cos i was really looking forward to UIUC when i first landed in chicago, but then when it actually came to it, i wasn't so enthusiastic anymore cos i realized it means my break is ending! sigh. but anyway, junwan decided to bring us along to her SSA film festival thing - they were screening 'be with me' which had SO much food - i'm like, you definitely know this is a Singaporean movie. haha.

it was so nice to see everyone again though.. got to see pple's dorms, cars, houses (jon's & zhixiu's apartment is ridiculously clean and neat - it has definitely motivated me to do something about the state of my own room, although how successful that will be is another thing altogether). and junwan's apartment is really so social! although as me & chim decided, there is a price to pay since they can't do work until after midnight. haha. they've such a nice sporean community i'm almost jealous.

THURS (Mar 29) sent chim to amtrak station, she didn't want to get back to chicago late at night.. toured UIUC w junwan & fiona. and met zhixiu on the way. lunch at jon's fav korean restaurant.. i think it's kind of nice that they have a street of restaurants. but i guess that caters to apartment-living pple. um. walked around, i heard about some of their ridiculous stories (they want to buy josh a live chicken or a huge inflatable one for his bday!)

LEX to airport. it came late, and i was wondering if i would have to find another mode of transport to get myself to the airport. not that it mattered in the end, since my flight was delayed. and i got to use the lounge yay star alliance gold:D then my flight was overbooked so i ended up w a free hotel stay, free roundtrip ticket within US, economy plus exit row seat (which probably has as much leg space as first class yeahhh) for the next morning. woohoo!

tahoe trip today was rather screwed up i think. had trouble trying to please everyone yesterday, colin dislocated his shoulder today, slopes were kinda slushy. definitely the last time for this season..

YAYYY clar is DONE with WINTER QUARTER and FINALS!!!! woohooo!!!

man. that was cathartic. anyway i've had rather the craziest time since finals ended on thurs at 9:30PM! wheee. so i was supposed to go to late nite w dewen but that didn't really work out cos late nite was closed! cheated. humph. anyway i was going to say hi and happy bday to top but he was on the phone. and then yf called. so i piled into the car w the rest of them (jh who still had a final today, megan & viet) and we went to viet's place to play wii tennis!

haha it's ridiculously addictive. and pretty fun! yay. and then tu misha daniel came over.. philbert and dex came too but they all ended up playing beer pong. hum. oh then we came back to lantana to celebrate top's bday.. yay cheesecake factory cake! yums.

i don't really think i've been eating any less since finals were over, hm. oops. and then i watched this ridiculous korean movie called guns n talks w jackie until like 5am. (partly due to her doing laundry at the same time, she has SO many clothes and took so long to fold them -sigh-). also it was either the dvd or my computer, but the subtitles were sort of wonky and annoying. ah well.

didn't get to sleep in either cos we had a PV07 lunch meeting (sigh). sometimes i think i see too much of SEALNet pple for work man -shakes head- and then spent two hours with music yay! harp and then piano.. that was nice:)

went w jh to get his car tires fixed. i felt slightly obliged to cos he was going to be nice and give me a lift to the airport tmr. haha. but it was cool, haven't talked to him in a while. actually i really haven't seen yf in a looong time. ah well.

came back, went out w dayoung for dinner! wow korean food is pretty crazy.. i think i still prefer jap though, ah well. it's kind of funny but i think the food and language are somewhat linked. like jap food/lang is a little more palatable/fluent than korean. but i may be biased:)

then we stopped by this korean supermarket yay bakery! it was a small one, but nevertheless, asian bread yayyyy. i miss bo luo baos greatly. umm. oh yes and yayyy dayoung let me drive back -happy clar- i really like her car. and she doesn't like driving! and she has a car! so ironic. haha. says it's stressful. i could definitely see why, but i enjoy it. ah well. then we went to coldstones and i stuffed myself full of sugar :p then we came back and watched match point, which had a pretty disturbing plot, not altogether very satisfactory. i LOVE my screen though, thanks to my bro:)

okay i should really pack or shower or do something useful.. aahh.

I really should be concentrating on studying for Int'l Econ (final on Mon 8:30am augh) but somehow the SEALNet meeting this morning keeps popping into my head. About how I've (as usual) gotten myself into something I have no idea how I'm going to deliver. Actually I sort of remember saying that at some point.. oh right that was about recruiting.

Anyway, I find it so interesting that KB (one of our professional mentors) is so invested in SEALNet and she's really all out to push us. I mean JH does say that sometimes.. His favorite phrase is like "I challenge you to..." I bet he got it from KB. And we finally have like set roles for each of us in Project Vietnam, which I think is great cos now at least there's something tangible (or defined, anyway) to work towards.

And the way the professionals 'dissect' and summarize our aims is so interesting. Sounds rather like work lingo or something.. And it was so amazing how KB got us to talk about our view of the 1. mission of PV 2. our stake in it 3. how we're going to interact. While we were talking she whipped out a marker and drew this really cool map on the whiteboard (those are really useful things) and organized it/used black lines to show us who we'd be talking to (mainly) and stuff.

Actually I don't even know why I think it's cool.. Stepping back it could be seen as a rather artificial way of distilling things. But I think it worked for me.

So what I've gotten myself into is like planning the service leadership curriculum for the entire SEALNet (okay I'm quite sure I'll have a team, but the initial impression was that she was going to hold me accountable for it and KB is quite scary haha). cos I was asking, isn't that the SEALNet-wide curriculum that everyone uses, and KB said (actually I forgot what exactly she said). But later Tu was like, but there ISN'T a documented curriculum at the moment, we've to start doing that. and KB was like "oh yes, I forgot to add: there IS no SEALNet, YOU are SEALNet." and I was like okay!!! well done...

Alright at least I've gotten that out of my system. I realized the way I punctuate kind of depends on my mood. Now it's like a semi-formal thing or something.

At this point I feel like SEALNet is going to have a huge impact on my life. Leading a project and all. And I wish my frat would have that kind of impact, but somehow I don't know if I can see that happening..

Actually this whole business with professional mentors sounds vaguely like CCAs in school where we had teachers-in-charge. And uni stuff is so different cos it's all student-run. I guess sometimes it's really nice to have people around who know more than you. And in that sense I guess that's what former-committee members (in the case of S@S) and older-bros (in the frat) are for. Which I've kind of just realized. A little late there.. oh well.

i was going to post something just now in the afternoon but then i forgot wat it was cos blogger wasn't working at that time -_-

anyway

here're some favourite quotes:

Jackie: We should really cook one day. It’ll be you and me…
Clar: (in the most adorable voice ever <- this description by jackie) And our little frying pan.


As Clar lies in bed,
Jackie: If I go to the toilet, will you be awake when I get back?
Clar: No. I will be a pufferfish.
-pause-
Clar: I think I want to be a monster.
(I started describing Celia in Monsters Inc. - with the hair-monsters and etc)
Jackie: I haven’t watched Monsters Inc.
Clar: Then I’m just describing nonsense.
Jackie: Yah…

Jackie: Hopefully when I come back you won’t be a pufferfish.
Clar: I’ll puff up and pop and then no more Clar. You’ll just have shreds. I guess that’ll be enough.


(on the night when I was getting pissed off with coding NameSurfer, I think)
Me “My aim in life is to annoy everyone”
Jackie “That’s a really stupid aim”
Me, exasperated, “Do I sound like I was being serious you silly pig?”
Jackie “No, but I felt like I should tell you it was stupid anyway”


After an extended campaign to get Jackie to send me the photos of our night out at California Café (which included me calling her so she could locate her phone in the sea of stuff that is her bed), she finds her phone and sends me the photos. Then.
Jackie, peering down at her phone screen, “Who called?”
Me “me”
Jackie “oh yah”
[this is such a classic serene-type of thing to do..]


Me, reading Ch 13 of my Econometrics txtbk, “I can’t take it anymore!”
Jackie laughs. “Oh no.. what happened?”
Me “This stupid chapter is so long!”
Jackie “Those damn chapters! Always so long…”

okay this is really a deluge of posts but yay feeling better. bible study was good. although we had like 4 pple.. aaron's hilarious. he was making all sorts of amusing remarks about the parables we were looking at.. 'cumulative investment' - the man who found hidden treasure and then sold all he had to buy the field.. and oh, lots of things. and about how christians are described as 'mustard seeds', 'yeast', 'wheat', 'fish', 'salt'. karen "we're a tasty bunch!" aaron "we could make a meal out of all that!"

i have had enough of people for the moment. well, until like 7:15 when bible study starts cos chi alpha pple are fine. haha. anyway.. yeah. this whole email thing, plus the 2-hour SEALNet meeting I just had = more than enough.

two days later you send me an email telling me the real reason you came here, and that involves a relationship issue with someone i know pretty well. while i am really glad you decided to be frank, what do you want me to do? or say? or think? i'm not sure that was such a good idea, cos now all the possibilities start chasing themselves inside my mind and i don't know what to think of you anymore. like, telling me afterwards and not giving me the entire picture is just going to confuse me more. and i haven't even the foggiest idea why it disturbed me so much. at least i think that's it for the moment, and hopefully we can all move on.

SEALNet meeting involved a length discussion on our working styles and what we've been doing/not doing. I always dislike these things cos they're very draining. I guess cos it indirectly targets our weaknesses and it's very tiring to discuss such things. I suppose it's just easier to remain in denial and push everything aside instead of really grappling with it. Something which I need to do with a lot of areas of my life, but can't find the energy to.

Anyway, so after these two things, I'm just like.. okay. I can talk to my roommate, and that's it. I don't want to have to sit around at the dining table and try and socialize with people I don't feel like talking to..

I still have so much work to do... Where does the time go?
It was nice meeting Philbert by chance at Olives, even though my mind was still rather preoccupied with the email-thing.

so i really do think i spent yesterday effectively doing nothing. well, no work at all. got up at 7:30 to go to church (and daylight savings began! ridiculously soon.. i didn't even know until i saw the sign at the restaurant/bar thing at kirkwood. somehow i think that happened last year too, saw it at some shop at yosemite during spring break. heh)

i thought the sermon wasn't very helpful cos they were encouraging members to give and talked about budget and stuff and i was (most unfortunately) falling asleep. the actual sermon was like maybe 10 minutes long. bah. oh well.. came back and got straight back into bed. jon called an hour later to ask about lunch, but i was rather reluctant to get out of bed so oh well. too bad. it wasn't that great a nap i guess, i kept waking up at random times and wondering if i should get up. esp at 12:30, cos i realized brunch was over.. then i was like heck, i'd rather sleep and i need to stop eating so much anyway.

spent like 1.5hrs updating my accounts (still can't figure out where some of my money went -_-) and then cleaned up my snowboarding boots. then jackie wanted to cook so we did. and honestly, soup is one of the most boring things you can cook. i guess it's the same as boiling water, kind of. just got to wait for it to heat up while stirring. haha.

okay don't feel like chronicling the rest of my uneventful day so i shall talk about saturday! yayyy. i don't even know why i'm so crazy about snowboarding. like if you really think about it.. boarding/skiing is just going down a snowy slope multiple times. okay i guess that's an oversimplification and the same logic would apply to everything else (e.g. basketball/blading/watever). it's the joy one derives from it!

anyway i realized the drive to kirkwood/tahoe is really long. >.< i guess having a tour bus and being able to watch DVDs makes it pass faster. (as for dorm trip). also while we were coming back i found myself staring at the other cars on the freeway wondering where they were coming from - had they been up to napa on a 2-3hr drive? were they visiting from somewhere? went to sacramento for the weekend and were now going home? it's just such a weird concept to do road trips. and especially those across-state-trips.. that's just crazy.

kirkwood has really huge slopes. i mean huge as in width-wise.. very nice and wide! i preferred the snow on the backside, only got there after lunch (and it was such a pain to get there! man. probably took us like 40mins to get over there).

i realized this whole snowboarding thing has a lot to do with overcoming psychological barriers (quote barney). like i KNOW i can toe but part of me is very afraid of trying cos the probability of me falling when toeing is higher than when i'm heeling. but when i do try and succeed then it's like YEAHHH owned the slopes! haha. also about gaining momentum while carving.. if i start and carve a couple of times then it's just easier to continue. also like pearline said.. at first, scared of green slopes, then blue.. then black! haha my aim is to be able to jump by the time i graduate

and my triumph of the saturday was answering my phone while boarding:p granted it wasn't that such a steep slope (if not i wouldn't have thought about answering my phone). so anyway i was going down an okay blue slope, and then suddenly my phone started vibrating in my jacket sleeve (yay for sleeve pockets) and i was like oh crap i bet that's sicheng asking where we are.. (we ended up splitting into 2 pairs) was trying to decide if i should answer it and then i was like heck, i'm sure i can do this! so while carving i was unzipping my sleeve pocket and taking out my phone.

it was so funny cos i was quite sure sicheng could hear my board carving the snow cos it was SO loud, but apparently later he said he could hear the wind and was wondering if i was boarding while talking. and whether i was going to fall cos i was doing that. but i didn't! haha! anyway i felt such a sense of achievement:D funkkyyy stuff! :p :) whee~

man. wat a crazy pair of days. as in tues and wed. tues morning was okay, went for dance and 102B (these econ classes.. all drive me nuts, although nothing can beat CS, really).. i think i was reading my book for a while during class haha. oops. the grumpy koala is SO funny though.. lemme try and find a pic



there! grumpy koala:) haha it's so cute.. jackie was amused too:) anyway it's been so long since i read for pleasure, it's a really nice feeling. of course it also means i slack but well.. this quarter has been so disastrous anyway..

anyway so i came back from 102B (fighting the urge to fall asleep), had lunch, took a nap. got woken up by my alarm, then the phone (jackie ordered dinner) and i really didn't feel like getting up but in the end i was kind of awake. and i was glad i got up cos sean was online! yayyy:)

but like after that was rather downhill in a sense. had extra econ 165 class (and then when i was coming back from dinner i realized that's my last class for today and it's my first class tmr! -grumps-). and then i went to the lair to get namesurfer done.. but it so was not getting done >.< so i got rather mad/frustrated.

went back to my room at like a quarter to 1am, quite annoyed. thankfully kiat came over at like a quarter to 3 to help me out yayyy. but before that i was so so so frustrated i was making alot of noise and annoying the hell out of poor jackie.. haha. and then i was in the hallway and i stomped around in anger for a while and david said i looked like an angry duck. which actually is rather hilarious

and i was also kind of tired so i was complaining, "anything that requires a lot of work pisses me off!" and jackie looked at me with such a horrified expression i was like wellll you know i don't really mean it. but maybe i do, so lazy.

ah watever. anyhow i managed to finish the silly program before it was due! for once! (maybe twice) and that was such a great feeling:p also with the help of one of the section leaders who lives down the hall. then dinner w dayoung and chi alpha..

i am so so so excited for snowboarding on sat! psyched up! haha. i guess also cos i don't have to plan it, makes life a lot less stressful. but i haven't been since mid-jan! i hope the snow's good and we have loads of fun:) (and none of us end up injured 0_0) and yay i have a fellow snowboarder.. didn't know sicheng boards too wheee.

okay i'm so psyched up i must post the pic of my pretty board again. haha. ahhh! okay must do work first. so i can replicate the miracle of my A-IHUM-paper due the day after snowboarding.. in the form of full marks for 102B pset maybe? anywayyyy snowboard! man i don't even know why i'm so crazy about it. maybe cos my quarter hasn't been that wonderful and boarding is something that definitely makes me happy. alright i don't even think i'm coherent anymore:



i must take more pics of my snowboard hm. but this is when it was brand new! lala. and not scratched.

yay i had a rather happy day in all:) slightly unexpected, but good!

so the first part of the day was spent struggling with my (tired) body. got up at 6am to write econ paper cos last night i was just too sick of it to get anything much done. and then i had lots of trouble getting my eyes to stay open. so i think i went back to sleep from 7:30 to 8ish.. struggle is definitely the word.

anyhow i finished it, on time, surprisingly. i guess in the end i'm like i've tried my best, that's it. and i actually got to class on time, which was nice cos i haven't been very good at doing that when stuff is due. when the quarter is finally winding down, then i begin to get my act together. how ironic is that..

i was rather in a rush to get out of class cos i wanted to go to the post office to get my jason hahn book (which i then spent like 1.5hrs after lunch devouring instead of doing my work. but it was so riveting). i almost feel a little embarrassed cos i keep getting packages/package slips from the housing office and the guy recognizes me already. haha.

lemme see.. and it was such a beautiful god-given day:) awesome weather! so i'm like yes, i must finally get my lazy ass down to the gym. esp if i'm going snowboarding this sat (which was sort of decided for me cos happily my prof moved the pset due date to wed instead of mon).. and also bcos i haven't exercised since that fateful mid-jan day when i slipped on the ice.

yeah so i fell asleep during CS again.. probably wasn't such a great idea, given that he was going thru the next assignment :| oh well. i'm sure we'll figure it out. then went to the gym, felt happy i was actually doing something about all the eating i've been doing. i really should stop taking comfort in food. not a healthy thing to do.

but anyhow, i also resolved to go to the lair to get help with namesurfer (due wed). it's this program which reads in a database of names and how popular they were from 1900 to 2000 and then plots a graph. pretty cool:) so i went after dinner and ron was there to help! haha he is such a unique character.. his metaphorical explanations were very helpful though, that was nice.

and then i decided since i'm at tresidder i might as well go to frosoco/lag and visit pple, since i never ever go over & i definitely hadn't seen kiat in forever. so i went and saw kiat, misha, tu, stacey, daniel, philbert. it was nice hanging out and chilling:) although it is also quite an unearthly hour now (i'm one to talk, given the ridiculous hours i stay up to code CS!) but it's sort of amazing cos at 7pm i was feeling quite sleepy and yet i managed to survive quite happily until now. coding CS was tiring but hanging out was fun so i'm glad~

but now i must sleep. hope tmr's social dance is fun! yay

this is so weird. i'm hearing lots of strange music coming from somewhere towards the north-east of campus (my dorm is east-campus) but i'm too lazy to go check it out. anyway, there was this flute-like-sounding tune for a bit, and after reading chim's reply to my email wrt chicago, i just have this image of a peaceful temple-like retreat place (you know, the kind you see in movies) with nice soothing music (yes, featuring a flute of some sort). i guess it's like some meditative place or something. long for peace.

anyhow weather's getting better and so i'm happy! the only problem is i think i slacked off too much last week so this weekend is going to be hell (and yes, i'm still here blogging). a paper due monday which is 20% of my grade, another program due wed. ahh.

the latter conversation transpired between me & CS 10mins ago.

CS: The latter's Chris' Outrageous Chocolate Cake combines brownie, pie, and cheesecake into 1,380-calorie pudding.
CS: Cheesecake Factory
CS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6399267.stm

me: WOAH
me: they're going to kill pple with that man

CS: yeah

me: i wonder if it's new
me: probably not right

CS: no
CS: but gives you an idea

me: augh
me: i ate a choc cake today cos i was stressed
me: haha

CS: ok
CS: a whole cake???

me: no la
me: whole cake i die already you know

and i just had a hysterical laughing fit, which apparently rather alarmed jackie. and i was like well, i wasn't too sure if i could've stopped, but it's been a long time since i laughed that much.


more quotes from jackie:

context: she passed him some of her perishables (namely, roti prata & her 7-layer caramel cake) and her air-con to store over winter break.
"of all the things i gave john, the only thing he can't keep is the air-conditioner."

jackie informs me that my hysterical laughter was quite disturbing.
me: but you did that to me once!
jackie: yes, but i went and promptly got into bed

jackie tries to persuade me to go take a nap.
me, resisting strenuously, then conceding: i think i will. i can't think anymore.
jackie, visibly VERY relieved: THANK GOD.

random note: went for mentoring dinner (finally! this is the 7th week!) and had honey walnut prawns!! well i've had better elsewhere but since i haven't eaten them in a long time i was quite happy:) and then my fortune in the fortune cookie was hilarious (it also rather reminded me of retreat): "you are very expressive and positive in words, act and feeling." both of which are so, so not me. unless you think otherwise, in which case do let me know cos i'd be rather curious.

anyway yes, after a disastrous midterm/hangman-program-due/pset due week, i came out of my econ classes with an epiphany. well, it's sort of a blurry epiphany since i'm not sure yet. but i may change my major. i mean, i really did not like macroecon last quarter (might be the fault of the teacher, might be that i didn't really understand stuff and therefore am now somewhat averse to it, maybe i just am not interested in learning about the fed/...)

but this quarter i feel like walking out of my econ classes 1 hr into lecture (they're 1h50). int'l econ i don't always feel like walking out, usually it's pretty intense so not much time to look at the clock and stuff. but it's a little hard to grasp too i guess, and he goes somewhat fast. but econometrics.. really.. i don't know. and my econ major right now is a finance track, but i really don't know if i'd like learning about those either. -_- i guess i'll have to do huge-time shopping next quarter. my bro suggested just taking one econ class and really exploring the rest of my options.

i also didn't realize how worried my family was about my state. so-called. cos my mom called, and my brother called, and ... i never really thought sophomore slump was a real concept but i guess maybe it is true.. when you really start wondering about what the heck you're doing (or actually, i should be using 'i' instead of 'you', as leng&hung would say). in life, in school, in whatever.

i know a couple of my fellow sealnet-ers are thinking about that, and one of dayoung's friends took the quarter off. i think she had a little bit of a self-esteem problem.. apparently she kept saying she doesn't know why she's at stanford, ... i didn't really believe it when people said everyone feels the same way 'how did i get in?' but i think i do now. and it's kind of like we don't realize what it is that makes us unique, and it takes other people to tell us sometimes. (at least, so i found out at the retreat when leng&hung were asking us to listen to each other and tell each other what we valued about the other person etc).

haha suddenly that sounded rather upbeat. oh well. david (the guy who gives me a ride to church normally) is at san diego so today i went w lisa & bertram & adelene. [daryl overslept! tsk]. anyway it was nice seeing all the stanford pple, but i think i prefer my own church. i guess familiarity does do something for you. and familiarity with songs. i feel like i can't really worship properly if i don't know the songs cos i'm trying to catch the tune, the words, and it just doesn't work. maybe that's why i felt weird at chi alpha last year.. although i know i should be able to worship anyway but it's tough.

anyway we had lunch at adelene's house and it was yummy! she cooked a mee siam-ish dish, very good. and she had pineapple tarts! just what i was craving! yay!! blessed:) haha. i have decided bengawan solo tarts are pretty good. although i really liked the de cooking house one (the shop's at far east square near chinatown!).

okay i really need to code yahtzee. it's kind of a fun game.. and i'm glad i don't have any other psets to do so i can really work on it. yay! and CNY dinner later should be awesome too:) oh and it was so nice to see megan yesterday, and the talisman concert was awesome, christina ho (freshman at chi alpha) has an amazing voice!

okay. so i'm tired of doing work and decided i could think about retreat so at least i get to do something fun. haha.

anyway. so there was a lot of breathing and listening (to yourself - being aware of wat's happening in your body, and to others, and to the surroundings). some of it was kind of similar to improv class, which made me think of dan (he's our improv coach! v cool guy:) at the beginning and comparing, but i forgot that after a bit.

at the beginning and at the end of retreat, we had this inner-outer circle where they'd play slow pure moods sort of music (which i'm sort of addicted to now!) and then we'd partner (inner circle w outer circle) and think about various things and reveal them to each other. they (leng & hung) created a lot of trust, i think.

and also kb, she's such an amazing person. so dynamic and yet willing to be so open and share such personal things in front of a huge group even though she hasn't met like more than half of us before. that's really something i admire. and also just having one person open up like that makes other people more willing to share.

so while all this was happening, i definitely felt closer to people there. but there was this nagging feeling in the back of me. because i kept thinking, shouldn't this kind of closeness be achieved with fellow christians? but i can't really imagine chi alpha pple standing around doing that sort of thing.. i dunno. it's hard to explain. takes a certain kind of atmosphere and person to perpetuate that. and it is admittedly kind of touchy-feely sort of thing.

oh yes and they were coaching us on being more honest about our emotions and owning them. saying "i feel (watever)" and esp when giving feedback (cos you're less likely to judge people or hurt them i guess). and also u're being more open and more vulnerable. and helping us find our values.

we had this relate-acting-to-leadership workshop thing, which was really cool. and there was this thing about telling your partner a story which showcased your 'personal best' moment and extracting your values/strengths from that and then coming up with a metaphor for your values/strengths. that was valuable. cos i always have trouble with the whole articulating your skills/strengths/... stuff.

sigh i kind of miss being there. although while i was there i felt a bit awkward cos i didn't know what to say to people either. and i had a number of emotionally draining conversations cos they were the higher-level-type and i guess being so engaged/watever you wanna call it takes a lot out of me. alright let's face it i just don't have very much energy unless i'm in a crazy mood.

and i feel awful about not wanting to talk to my family. because i'm struggling with school and i don't know what i'm going to do about my summer! well okay the context for that is that my mom was trying to talk to me on skype and my stupid headset wasn't working so i called the home phone. and my mom was asking me abt retreat, i didn't feel like talking about it (too tiring to talk about it i guess). and then about my (failed) interviews. then my bro wanted to talk to me about summer. i suppose now i'm unhappy because talking about all those reminded me of my inadequacy (which i recognize is ridiculous since like everyone keeps saying, i'm just a sophomore, it's okay. and i knew that i wanted experience, which i did get.)

and that is also why i don't want to go for akpsi meeting later, cos i know people will ask me about the interview stuff and i don't want to talk about it.

alright i think i feel a little better. i wish pam was here, she's like my mommy-friend and i need someone like that right now. i guess i'll go spend some time with God. if i can find Him. it is so hard sometimes, how many times have I been to church this quarter? it's awful.

i am so annoyed.. i was editing my hangman code on ryan's laptop over the weekend and somehow it didn't save to my external drive so i've to redo everything -_- not that it was a lot but STILL! growl. i want a laptop.

anyhow, i figured (fine this is somewhat procrastination) that i should have closure on the retreat. so my 6th weekend of winter quarter (and 5th weekend off campus) was spent at SEALNet retreat. and what is SEALNet? --> www.sealnetonline.org

it was such an out-of-the-world weekend. i guess cos the two main facilitators, leng & hung, were such breathing/connect-with-your-spirit sort of people. or at least, i think that's what they do when they coach people.

suddenly after that little nap i don't feel like blogging anymore so i guess the rest has to wait till later!

i wonder why it is that i can't seem to summon up energy to be enthusiastic about stuff i'm involved in. yesterday's SEALNet meeting, i was just like dude we've been thinking about this (what to do in Vietnam) since last Dec, and there doesn't seem to be something that sounds sufficiently exciting. and then i was just reading the akpsi emails about this publicity thing we're doing.. i actually didn't forward stuff, oops. even though i think it's a really good idea. i guess i'm just lazy. sigh.

and so it reminded me of when the interviewer asked me what i'm passionate about. i really don't think i'm passionate about anything (unless you count snowboarding, haha). and various other things like cirque du soleil and dance and wat not. oh i guess food does figure, but jackie definitely beats me hands down there:)

i decided salsa is lots of fun though, lots of energy! yay. but yeah i think i really am lazy:( which sometimes really makes me wonder wat i'm doing here. everyone here is the 'let's go out and change the world!' sort and i'm just like.. yeah, watever. too chill. heh. i suppose it also depends on my mood, i could be upbeat about stuff if i put myself in the correct mindset i guess. although it was interesting coming from jackie 'it's a privilege to be here'. yup it definitely is although it's so easy to forget that.

i am SO tired. actually i think i probably brought this upon myself because i got hooked on full house, but i prefer to wallow in self pity. haha. anyway so the 102b (econometrics) pset was SO frickin' long, i think i used 7 sheets of paper and i'm not really done yet. i HATE that class.. like seriously >.< it is so torturous to sit through 1h50 of that lecture and talk about regressions and all manner of weird formulae including matrices and linear algebra and.... i really would drop econ because of this one class. the only problem being i wouldn't know what else to do. (it's a core class for econ, sadly unescapable).

and i'm also not very prepped for cs.. i guess that shouldn't be as bad since it's openbook but my logic is really not there sometimes. okay i guess i should be able to manage but i'm so tired right now i'm typing with my eyes closed cos they refuse to stay open! ok definitely my finishing 16 episodes (1hr each i think) in 3 days had a part to play. :| and of course being in boston over the weekend.

this is like never going to end.. tonight i'll have to mug for int'l econ, which hopefully shouldn't be so bad cos that class is actually interesting and i know the front half of the material. but i know i'm gonna be tired which is a problem too.

and after that i'll have to code like crazy cos hangman is due on friday. >.< so tired. but i did have fun hanging out w ser in boston and meeting trang... yay for that at least:) and being done w interviews although they turned out rather unfruitful save for the experience -shrug-

you know the feeling of desperation? well as long as i remember i don't think i've felt it as much as during college. or maybe it's just this quarter cos CS is so unpredictable - if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and you can't BS your way thru making it work (unlike psets or papers).

alright at least this problem set isn't so bad. but i really should've prepped for case interviews earlier.. when am i going to stop procrastinating?! and i couldn't finish my pset yesterday in time.. and i don't know what i'm gonna do about my two midterms next week. ahhh. alright, today's a huge problem first.

oh and i'm so thankful for jackie, she's so sweet. heh. so last night i was going to take a nap and then get up and code (which of course didn't happen), so she covered me wth her flurry blanket n set my alarm for me. aww.

when i saw how happy chun-kai was when his lil bro got an offer from gs taiwan, i think i can imagine how my brother reacted when i got into stanford. it was so cute, chunky was like so proud and telling pple how he n jon n some other guy prepped him like crazy for the interviews.. heh. but again chunky's always v funny and animated.

but yeah, just something that stuck with me tonight and it just made me think of my bro and how he spent so much time helping me with my apps and all. and how his friends knew about his lil sis getting here and how i heard it from them. aww.

anyway i'm feeling much better, which is good. i don't really know about tomorrow though, will just try my best and have faith that God will do the rest. was really kind of hard to have faith yesterday/today but life goes on. and it was really nice to talk to Cat, fellow-sufferers-in-kind with recruiting being so draining.

i am so so tired. i think over the past week i haven't had more than 6 hrs sleep/night, average was probably 5 or so. and then sat night i couldn't really sleep either, combination of nerves and unfamiliarity. and i was missing home, weirdly. also on the flight back, i guess cos usually when i'm on a plane i get to go home. haha.

and last night i thought i was finally hopefully going to get 8 hrs but that didn't work out either cos my head was still swimming (from what, i don't know) and then halfway i suddenly knew wat was going on around me and i could hear jackie's canto >.< poor girl though, it must've been frustrating to not be able to record it properly. i was like ?? why the hell is she repeating it so many times!

blah. i don't feel like going for more interviews. it's like being perpetually stressed and i can't just heck care either cos that'd just make it worse. aughhh. okay actually i guess i'm just tired.. i was glad i'd get to go boston and see ser but am definitely not looking forward to plane flights. traveling is super tiring. not to mention boring if you're on american airlines >.<

where are people when i need them.. i need to take a nap. and i also can't help feeling i'm going to feel really silly about all this when it's all over. haiyah. but wat to do!

another week! time really passes so quickly. and i'm so puzzled, i'm supposedly taking a lighter courseload but i'm still not really up to speed! i guess the two-consecutive-ski-trips didn't help.. but they were fun:) although the S@S one would've been better w more people, definitely. the house for dorm ski trip was SO huge.. pretty cool.

anyway yes, i really don't know what i've gotten myself into but i thank God many times for all the opportunities anyway.. still wondering what his plan for my summer is though. guess we'll see how it goes this weekend and next week and blahh... somehow i keep thinking of Seabiscuit and how he won the race against the superhorse War Admiral, only because of the training that his trainer focused on and the jockey's strategy. the exact phrase escapes me but it somehow keeps resounding in my mind.

going to be busy busy busy!! ahh. actually i already am. and i also figured my classes are quite a bit harder this quarter.. either that or i'm getting stupider, haha. and i haven't really been able to keep my promise to my dad which kind of worries me. i try! okay not really i guess. hm. last night was doing oxford apps, coding CS, now i'm studying for a midterm, tmr i have a pset to do, i'm sure i have more stuff for the rest of the week.. ahhhh!

right i really need to understand and internalize all this econometrics stuff, augh.

wow it's almost been a week since i last posted! but this quarter is so crazy. actually every quarter's crazy. hmm. yeah. plus double ski trips.. which means my weekend is effectively gone.. oh well. boarding is always fun, except for the long drive there >.< and this time i somehow wrenched my left leg or something, it really felt dislocated yesterday.

so here's the story (which is going to sound so stupid but well):
so after getting off the lift for the beginner slope (of all slopes! ugh! was going to help out my dormmates cos it was their first time boarding) i think i skidded on an icy patch and then landed on my side. in which i felt this sharp pain on my left side (similar to wat happened to my finger last week at heavenly as well - talk about jinxed). and i wasn't going to get up for a bit but i was blocking the path and this guy helped me up.. anyway it was so so painful (still is actually) but i could still board (although it was still kinda painful) so i'm like heck i'll just continue

so when i unstrapped and had to walk my board along it did hurt, kind of, but when i was actually boarding it wasn't so bad.. thankfully. but when i stopped for lunch. !! that was a nightmare. really could NOT walk at all.. i kept wondering whether i fractured something. and it was so torturous i was thinking about calling Peling (my long-suffering RA) to come pick me up earlier. but then i thought about the $50 lift ticket and the 5hour drive and i'm like heck.. i'll just go on.

it was fun though, going on the nevada side properly (instead of getting myself stuck there like last Sat and having to rush down the slopes to get down in time). the snow was much better. and i did blues! yayy. but yeah, after that i was begging Reid (my other long-suffering RA) to let me take the car up the hill cos there was no way i was going to be able to walk up. and he actually offered to carry me cos Peling was going to be driving the equipment up.

oh what happened was that our house was on this hilly part where the bus couldn't enter cos it wouldn't be able to climb the hill.. so we'd to walk about 0.3miles in (according to Peling) - on the first night it definitely seemed REALLY long esp cos 1. it's uphill and 2. it was so cold. but yeah, Peling made a second trip down to the bottom to get me so phewwww. walking from the ski lodge to the bus was already so painful as it was.. everyone was really nice about it though.

and i totally suck at CS.. okay well i guess this is really my fault (as usual). didn't start doing my assignment earlier.. and then i fell asleep on thurs night cos i was so tired from getting up at 6:30 to go to SF for my interview and then company talks at night.. so no time to code. and had to take two late days (we get three 'free' late days for the quarter) cos i couldn't hand in by fri at 5 cos we left at 3 to go to tahoe.. and over the weekend i didn't do coding either (i need a freaking laptop man) , did a little on the bus but coding without testing it out never works.. so i just handed in a buggy program. which really sucks cos i hate doing things like that. :(

i hope my leg is fine by tonight. okay, more realistically, by tomorrow.

sigh i don't know why i'm in such a bad mood nowadays. okay maybe not nowadays.. aiyah. i hope it's just a passing thing! i keep thinking about how glen said if your religion hasn't made you a better/nicer person, nothing can.

anyway. so while i was typing this halfway cs n jon came in and 1. started marvelling at the (rather horrible) state of my room and i was telling them stories of how 1. i got 'stuck' on the nevada side of heavenly ski resort this weekend and 2. seihout (one of my snowboarding buddies now) went down a black diamond and called 911. haha. now that is a really succinct summary which sounds hilarious but the details are really ... wow.

but i feel better now. wangning's bday dinner was hilarious.. daryl and bertram are such a pair! well of cos daryl's much sillier but still.. they are so ridiculous.. at least i can still laugh with them. and of cos with jackie, wat would i do without that girl esp at night when we're both tired and not making much sense.. haha. oh yes. tonight i'm going to wear the antlers and amuse her (and myself). jon was trying to persuade me to bring it to the dinner but i'm like no! in the privacy of my own room, fine.. at dinner, no!!!! oh the antlers are this hairband thing which came with a burger king happy meal (which i had before leaving)

alright i shall try to cleaan up my room and i'm quite sure i have lots of things to do.. including the last part of settling $ stuff for the snow trip which was such a nightmare:|

sometimes i just want to quit school. and do what, i don't know. it's been such a long day, i am so tired, and it isn't over yet. actually i guess i could sleep. oh no i have to write that thank you letter first. okay actually my spirits just lifted a little cos Still by Hillsongs was playing and thinking about God's majesty helps. and Seihout finally returned my call so at least I know he's going tomorrow.

anyway, to puff off some steam, it's just so tiring to think about jobs (internships), planning stuff (ski trip is such a nightmare), i haven't really thought about the studying bit, guess that's the least of my worries since most things are structured. hah. alright i shouldn't really dwell on these things cos they'll just make me more depressed.

but the summary is that i didn't get much sleep last night cos was prepping for interview, ditto today.. and after my interview i had various meetings (including some akpsi-only mckinsey info session and all these recruiting things are very intimidating), was reminded of the lack of initiative i have wrt sas, definitely could do a lot more and i don't know where the new year resolution went. and ski trip is really really such a nightmare, i really pray that everything works out and we'll have a good time.

masters students make up the bulk of the participants, and i didn't send out the word early enough about the trip so they planned their own and booked their own place. so we ended up with very few people and lack of drivers. i guess it's not that huge a problem.. dunno la.

maybe i just wasn't cut out for all this. but no, my parents are spending so much money and i'm just tired right now. so so tired. i should sleep. at least there's only cs tmr. and the first week of school will be over.

so i'm back! man i'm still kind of tired.. not really ready to go out and face the stanford world. haha okay that sounds so dramatic. but didn't get much sleep on the plane, my room is so comfortable i don't want to go out, and, as i was telling jon, have to be nice and social. sometimes its the fear (or inertia) that's worse than the actual thing though. many times, in fact. blah.

but i'm sort of unpacked! so that's good. and my expensive black jacket is nice and warm so i'm happy:) at least it was money well spent, i hope. alright i need to stop procrastinating! and i actually kind of miss jackie's aircon cos its a bit hot (it's more like fall weather rather than winter, isn't that crazy? not complaining though).

okay! to work! work work work so i can sleep in peace!

augh. i am in such a weird mood today. i can't even figure myself out! anyway.. it was nice meeting sean n joel again. haven't seen them for so long. haha okay not actually that long but well.. much less often than last (academic) year. i also realized i'm not all that plugged into the christian community there.

we ate SO much though.. the kolo mee was pretty good. and then milo dinosaur! haha. i actually haven't had a milo dinosaur before but well. it was good:) it's so weird to think joel's engaged already! and thinking about marriage and saving up. it's like having to grow up too fast.. i dunno. sort of like mrs cheriyan saying yesterday that she felt so weird when her student came back (years later) pregnant and she had to take a moment to accept that fact heh.

and then island creamery! and sean gave me a lift to orchard, so nice of him. and it was starting to rain so i was v thankful for the lift heh. tea with chris n lyd was fun!! chris got us such nice earrings from HK.. i'm wondering how come i never saw such nice things. i need to find nice shops online to buy stuff for pple man.

oh and we were playing some board game.. was kinda fun haha. poor lyd kept (in her words) 'visiting tourist attractions and having to pay', and it sort of reminded me of that crazy monopoly game we played during thanksgiving where we ended up in two huge alliances wondering who'd go bankrupt first. so ridiculous.

charlotte's web was so cute. but kind of sad at the end when charlotte died. i think i was kinda sad too when reading the book (a looong time ago). and somehow in the middle of the movie i was thinking about how i only have like one day left here. i really thought i'd got over the whole leaving thing already, but i guess when i really realize it after brushing it off for the most part it's worse??

and during dinner lyd was asking me if i thought my ability to make friends was 'handicapped' by the fact that i don't drink. maybe it is.. i dunno. aiyah. some things i just don't really want to think about.

anyway.. oh yes. so i guess all my mixed feelings built up to this point.. and then i ended up taking it out on this random guy who approached lyd (while she was talking to me too, how rude!) and wanted to get to know her. and apparently it's happened before so she's kinda used to it. after she said no, he wanted to either give her his phone no/get hers. and but i think i was kind of at this breaking point and something just snapped in me and i snapped at the guy 'she said no! leave us alone!' actually i guess that wasn't a very nice thing to do, but the guy looked =so= sketchy and i thought he was going to continue pestering us or something. i still don't really know what got into me but lyd was like ok u're really in quite a bad mood, that was so unclar.

notable event of the evening haha. nice spending time w lyd though, pity didn't have as much time to hang out w chris. sigh.. i will get one-suite or something so i can call people. oh daryl recommends futurephone.com, must go check it out too.

pretty long day again! man it's been so long since i stayed out that late last night.. (thurs night that is) so on thurs: went out at 1ish to shop. attempt to shop would be more accurate, since i didn't find the low-priced long-sleeved shirts i was hoping to find, so not a very successful trip.

and i was very tired of walking by the time i met lyd so i was like !! time for food! haha. we had a very nice late-lunch-tea meal at tcc though:D i think i spend too much money :| and then it proceeded to rain!!! so heavily! :( ah well.

meeting jm and eunice was interesting.. one from uk one from australia and me from us! kinda cool. and rather different. i didn't know the NUS bidding system was so annoying.. poor people! very thankful that stanford doesn't really run out of spaces for important classes.

so i got back pretty late and (for once) was quite tired but i stayed up reading seabiscuit (again), one of my fav books:) and then i didn't really feel like going out today but i'm glad i did:)

so much fun! ms tan is hilarious.. never fails to amuse me. really love annoying her haha:p although i felt a bit weird cos i just went back in july (or something) with serene.. but serene talks so much. and i also forgot peiying was in ms tan's form class in sec 1. haha.

and you also don't realize how much teachers gossip (or talk about us) until you're in there listening to them:p but it was interesting anyhow.. and meeting mrs deborah tan was so weird. she told us we must set up an emotional bank account (i.e. build good feeling) so you can ask pple for favours next time. aiyah i think basically it's networking la.

anyway. i am beginning to feel the force of the oncoming quarter.. i think if i don't get into my introsems i'll take 17 units and preserve my sanity and hopefully by God's grace get a good internship. aaahh.

haha this is the 601th post. anyway yay, this shouldn't sound as depressive as the last. and i finally saw shaun after two years (hello shaun! if you happen to read this). i guess he is right though, if you don't see people for a long time you've a lot more things to say. or it could also swing the other way and you'd feel really awkward and have nothing to say. i wonder which happens more often. feels like the latter wouldn't really happen as much but you never know.

yay i finally managed to upload my hongkong photos on facebook. link on the left! thinking about changing my template again but lazy to find a new one.. actually given that i'm so free i shouldn't be, but when i feel like i have to do things i'll procrastinate on them -_- blargh.

oh! so i have a mentor (stanford alum) and then i kept pushing back writing an introductory email to her until tuesday, and then when she replied she said she literally just left singapore. sigh. i could've actually met up with her!! augh. i need to learn from these things. and missing deadlines. blagah.

and on mon/tues night i was clearing out one of my drawers and i found all manner of interesting things.. including this sheet of notepaper where i wrote down a couple of quotes. so i think this was in apr 04, and my dad said to me, "nobody will care if you don't do well in your SATs/can't get into a good university. the choir's not going to come together and sing you a song." i think at that point the issue was that i was spending too much time doing choir stuff. i guess they (parents) just weren't used to me actually spending time on CCAs, given that automation was so slack.

new year. i didn't really feel like going to church but i'm glad i did.. one of the youth (or 'yout' as they call themselves haha) was giving one of the messages, was pretty cool cos i've never seen him serve! and his msg was pretty good although i dun really remember a huge chunk of it cos i didn't have my notebook to write stuff down. and by the time we got through the second exhortation and one hour's worth of praying, my mind was quite fried. oh and the hour worth of praying was thanksgiving for the past year and requests for the new year.

grar facebook isn't letting me upload my photos! !! bah. oh i can upload a church photo here. and photos of the stuffed toys that my bro won at ocean park (two of those game thingys where you're supposed to throw balls into holes).

so i met up with candice and fiona today.. so good to see them! and it was easy to talk to them. cos it's like sometimes with other people it's awkward and have to think pretty hard to find stuff to talk about. actually that happens really quite a bit more often then i'd like it to. i'd also like to believe that's cos i'm always meeting new people but that's probably not the case.

really depends on my mindset at the moment i guess. whether i'm in the 'ooh we must meet people today and it's fun!' or 'aw man this is going to be such a chore' mode. anyway.. yeah. i guess it also helped that they're good frens so they can like bounce off each other. if that makes sense. and candice when you read my blog you ought to tag so i can 'talk' to you since you're never online! -sulks-

oh and church was kind of interesting. i've never really felt like part of my church, which is quite tragic. i also like to blame my parents for that but if i'd had my priorities right when i was younger i guess it wouldn't be such an issue. dunno la. i miss chi alpha though. and campbell. so i think i ought to go for thanksgiving service tomorrow but i don't feel like it cos i know i'm going to feel so awkward. yup. that's me. awkward.

okay this is starting to sound slightly depressive. it shouldn't! happy new year! haha. i am so lazy. need to find something better to do with my time. i keep pushing everything to next week (well, this week, already) telling myself i don't want to think about school stuff while it's 2006. procrastinate. ahhh.

yay it was good meeting pam today:) she got me wondering though. whether pri gep was really that influential. i mean i did really like chinese then, we had so many fun games and chinese was really cool:) and a lot of my closer friends now were fr pri gep but maybe that was just a self-perpetuating sort of thing.. we'd already been through 3 years so in sec sch it was pretty normal, just a continuation?

anyway. and she was saying she's not very good at a group friendship sort of thing.. and i totally agree for me too. prefer one-on-one. although sometimes i wonder if pple get bored. but yeah.. the group friendship thing. is kind of like draw groups hanging out.

alright hopefully i'll be back in the shopping mode next week cos i do need to buy stuff. and i hope the sales last oh dear. ahh. anyway tomorrow is stay-at-home day, will potter about and just enjoy being home:)

i think i may be overdependent on the internet. no actually it's just because i was trying to get on the sms website last night. i think. anyway.. so i was rather annoyed yesterday when the taiwan earthquake rendered our internet quite slow and useless! therefore i went to bed. okay la i was tired too.. long day.

haha i always laugh so much when i'm out with rachel. even though at first it's a bit awkward cos i haven't seen her in so long (same with everyone else i guess) after that i always end up laughing really hard cos we're so ridiculous:D yay squishy squid 2! oh i forgot to bug you to do your credit card application.. let me msg you now. haha i can't believe you stored my number under 'squishy squid'! -sulks- and we forgot to take a photo:( nevermind i'll come to TLL and disturb u n christine sometime.

and it was such a pity that we couldn't watch night at the museum at vivocity! but that place is ridiculously crowded.. -_- oh well. lyd's laugh is so happy, i wish i could bottle it up and bring it with me wherever i go. well i would bottle up lyd but since that's not very possible, the laugh goes just as well:)

it was nice to see chris (on tues night now) after so long. need to hang out another time! i can't believe it's been a year. i think i need to be better at calling up people to keep in touch.. new year resolutions:) the only thing being that now the sch year and calendar year don't coincide so it's really weird. new sch year or new calendar year resolution? guess i can have both.

some things are just very confusing. i suppose i think too much cos i'm too free. haha. and now i don't really feel like shopping! shopping overload from hongkong. oh it was so interesting, when it started raining last night 心雨 by jay chou came into my mind. kind of apt huh? even though i guess the 心雨 isn't really literal.

oh yingheng's story about his tuition kid and learning new words was hilarious.. so they're supposed to write down words they don't know and find out the meaning (to expand their vocab). and one day one of the kids came up with this four-letter word which means a small rock with mould on it. and i couldn't stop laughing because for crying out loud, why in the world would you ever use that word so why would you write it down? but it was hilarious:)

yayy i'm home! finally. i think a week in hongkong was too long. or maybe cos i was longing to come back. i like familiarity. and having my stuff around (i.e. so i'm not really completely happy cos i'd prefer having my own computer:p) but it's still good!

anyway i really went crazy with the photo taking and video taking, i didn't think i was going to use the whole 1gb memory card for my camera, but right now its at like 900mb 0_0 the power of expanding watever you call it. umm. expanding to fill whatever you have (or in this case, expanding to use the entire memory card:p)

but i don't know if i'm going to transfer stuff out cos firstly i'm supposed to install the driver. we'll see.

it's really good to be with my family again though. i wonder what the europe pple are doing now though heh. ie cs jon bertram etc. and what serene is up to. maybe i should use trillian instead hm.

and i can't sms properly anymore!:( my US cell phone keys are so much easier to press than my sg cell:( haha i'm sure i'll regain it with practice:p oh well.

oh and i'm now in love with bo luo baos:) yumyumyum. they are SO good. especially if the dough is good.. sigh! can't believe i didn't discover them earlier. maybe daryl will go crazy over them too haha. as compared to egg tarts, which are really good too!

alright. i don't know if i'm still up for more shopping.. hongkong shopping was, as dawn said, pretty stressful cos there're so many choices!! augh. and it is so hard to find xmas presents. i totally agree with this column in monday's straits times about how it's so forced to have to find presents for xmas. like if i don't see stuff that i think they'll like it's kind of hard to force a present! maybe i'm just making excuses though.

kk. maybe i'll go take a nap.

ahh. i guess i'm calmer today. thank you god. i believe he will be with me and help me through this crazy crazy time. and yay for colin who was pretty calming. and for jon (who albeit went on and on about his crazy courseload last semester while i'm like okay.. i'm kind of half-resigned to my fate and want to sleep soon_ but he was still pretty encouraging). i guess reading shaowei's blog about drawing closer to god in times of trouble is kinda true.

and of cos for dearest jackie.. i was like 'wat do you do when you're totally freaking out?' and she made me close my eyes and described a 'happy place' for me, which was hilarious (stress-reliever yeahh:) because it started off with a forest (i just knew that was gonna be it!) and then i would've been pretty satisfied with a forest and cute cuddly animals but she went on with descriptions of money (and dulce de leche cheesecake) growing on trees and cities with goodness knows what else, i don't remember.. and the crowning glory of 'hot men' - at this point i was like okay, i think i was quite happy with the cute animals.

so.. i'm gonna rock this final! (and the next, and the next, and the next.) there. that covers all four.

but anyway.. the real point of my doing a quick blog (study break, haha - philosophy drains my mental faculties). it was kinda hilarious really, jackie went to sleep after i got up.. well done girl. yesterday she got up at ~6pm and i'm like. you do know you completely missed daylight? and she was like well actually i saw some of it before i went to bed. ... haha.

alright to the point! a package came for her (while i was figuring out the mysteries of life, no less. rofl) and i was just thinking i never really knew the joy of receiving packages until coming here! it is so fun.. like little presents. i mean, even if it's just online shopping.. when the stuff comes (like my camera :D yay) it's just great!

anyway. couple more hours and i'll be done with philo woohoo!

woahh. that just completely blew my mind.. i definitely did not know my bro's very good fren's now at goldman.. anyway. i really need to stop procrastinating so much. and i have also decided (after various mishaps) that i work better with a paper planner (as compared to electronic calendars) so i'm going shopping for one during the holidays! whee~
(typed that a couple of days back but never posted it)

this is today:
AUGHHH damn stressed. okay actually this is really my fault for not doing my studying earlier but yeah. still stressing out anyway. so i just whined at poor chuansheng. haha. so for philo at least i've looked at all the stuff (i am SO so SO thankful for the study grp if not i would never have gotten anything done) but thinking of objections and counter objections and reconstructing arguments all take time, of which i have a severe lack of.

bio should be fine i think. but econ 52 is going to take me a substantial amount of time given that i haven't read some of the chapters and i need to prep for the essay stuff. and econ 102a i really need to prac, of which that requires time TOO. help help help. it also does not help that i'm reading about stress stuff for bio (or i just finished doing that). at this point praying also does not help me very much, i'm just panicking too much at this point.

wow. god is really great. i can't remember at the moment who else's testimony i heard.. but it's just stories like that which remind me how in power he is. and the power of prayer. okay that probably didn't come out sounding too right since i'm not particularly coherent but well.

crazy event of the day: so me n jackie were trying to figure out about going to paris for spring break.. and i was like oh i have the calendar i'll check the dates of spring break. so i came over to my table.. and i picked up my calculator instead of my calendar.

it was quite a classic moment, really. but i must say in defence of myself that usually my calendar and calculator are like next to each other/one's on top of the other so i'm slightly justifed..

i decided to post a pic of my pretty snowboard! here it is:)


it unfortunately looks much worse now. but plus cute traction bits that jon pasted for me! whee~

and all the people i met!

the girls: liana (jr), joon (soph), me


the guys: jon (jr), yongji (frosh), andrew (frosh), zhixiu (jr), yf


more of the guys: nick (on exchange), ryan (he's really like the uiuc-version-of-daryl haha), dominic (soph), josh (soph)


random pics of my room

forever friends bedspread!


yay forever friends poster from ser!:)


my slightly messy desk


front part is jackie's half


i should really do my work. and it was so tragic, chris decided to nominate me for akpsi secretary and i'm like. oh. oops. i don't have a laptop! but anyway i don't think i could handle an ecomm position this year. hopefully i'll be something next year though. will see what god has in store for me.

simps playdate thing today was kind of awkward.. i don't know why. i thought it would be somewhat like a regular class, just go in and play games. but somehow the connection was missing (like kenneth said). things weren't very funny.. maybe energy not thre? or just awkward cos it was like.. simps vs 103ers. oh well.. reiterate last sentence of last para. if it's meant to be it will happen, i believe. i tried my best.

dead week and it doesn't feel like it at all. or i'm still slacking around.. i don't understand why i need food so much when i'm here. like during thanksgiving i wasn't very hungry or thinking about food all that much. didn't really snack. or maybe cos snacks were so easily at hand it didn't matter that much. but when i'm back in my dorm room.. it's just. food. food. food. ! so bad:(

man today is one crazy day.. but yay! i have my license! which just prompted me to call my mom and say happy bday, thanks to the wonders of the chi alpha calling card. she's so cute, she sent me this encouragement card sort of thing with my airticket home.

so yeah, i wasn't sure if i got my driving test time right.. and then yinnah's car malfunction light came on and i wasn't sure if the driving test pple were going to be okay with that.. and then we had to wait so long for the test. but phew, thanks for God's grace, everything went fine. and i passed! woohoo~ i saw the examiner who failed me last time, thankfully this time it was a guy and he was much nicer.

oh and while waiting for my test jh calls me and says that they decided i'm part of the team for the JPMorgan competition thing and i'm like !! i haven't done anything for it! man. feel kinda bad about it also but it'll be great experience if we get through.. so then i have to think about looking at resumes/personal statements/writing my own.

and the concerto thing was such a fiasco! man. that was seriously one of my worst nightmares. like i knew i wasn't particularly prepared.. but that was just terrible. the tempo was so much faster than i'd expected and my fingers can't move that fast.. lack of practice/skill. i guess i should've just called jon (aow) up earlier and admitted defeat.. but i still thought i could manage it but i practised like mad tonight/tmr. and then after like 50mins i could tell they thought i was hopeless and i also knew it was hopeless.. really thank God that jon was free/can manage it.. actually i was pretty sure he'd be able to, am just so grateful though. cos i already wasted the guy's and his teacher's time.. don't wanna ruin his performance as well. so phew.

anyway, am feeling so much better. yay for being online haha i sound like i'm addicted. oh well. time to do silly econ pset. and it's so freaking cold nowadays!:( i forgot how depressing winter is =sulks=

aaahh. i'm so tired. or at least my eyes are, i think. i don't actually think i got more sleep during thanksgiving break cos the place i was staying at (with junwan & frens, no less) had skylight-ish panels which allow morning sun to shine right into the room and wake me up! so i got up at like 7ish almost all the time. oh well. gotta make up for that soon.. after tonight's black friday shopping heh. and i also need to figure out my driving test:| augh. i wish i'd passed the first time, it would've made my life so much easier!

anyway, had lots of fun in colorado, am very glad i decided to go join joon! yayyy:) her friends are all so nice.. actually jon (goh)somewhat reminds me of sean, i guess its the way they interact with/care about people. and i really wish i had sean's knee pads. haha. arrgh! poor knees. actually poor snowboard, it definitely got chipped by ice/rocks/something. -sob- oh well.

pics on facebook..
http://stanford.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2046548&l=da600&id=213134
okay i don't actually know if the link works but we'll see. maybe i'll dump them in shutterfly when the rest send the other photos along or something.

sigh! 86 emails to plough through and i have to return to reality (i.e. having to think about classes/work/jobs/.... moooo.) laundry calls soon. and practising for this bass trombone concerto accompaniment! man i really hope it turns out fine.. help.

i think the hot tub does help. or at any rate, me n joon n liana were trying to figure out how come we didn't ache as much yesterday.. as compared to the days before. alright. need to get stuff done! its nice to just slack around.. hm.

boohoo. clar is like half sick. i guess i just refuse to admit i'm fully sick. but i'm not! okay, in denial. but anyway i kept hiccuping yesterday cos my throat was dry and everytime i coughed that kinda triggered it. 0_0 . oh well.. at least today should be better.. i wish i was completely well though, how to go snowboarding otherwise?? and i wish we'd booked a later ticket so i can go to the burton sale and get a snowboard. :( . i guess god will provide..

so yesterday's chi alpha worship was quite magical. sicheng was telling esther 'i think we brought back something from that trip!' [they drove 4 hrs to redding over the weekend, i dunno wat was happening at the church but that's interesting]. i still have a tiny suspicion about whether my experience was partly because of my sleep deprived state.. philo paper due yesterday, that is. and bio midterm today and i haven't read anything for econ essay, die!! gotta rush that during lunch or something :|

but wat colin said was good and timely. god will give you exactly what you need. i like the phrasing too. somehow that just reminded me of sean, i wonder why. maybe the big-bro-christian-encouragement thing. which is good. haha man this is like a spillover from my philo paper about "the human good". aahh!

it was so uncanny yesterday cos during improv there was this static scene involving a bicycle, a squirrel and a nut (i.e. the bike was about to run the squirrel over). and then while i was furiously biking (like the wind, no less, as jackie likes to advise me when i'm hard pressed for time/late in handing up stuff which unfortunately happens rather often) to turn in my phil paper, this stupid black squirrel (with a brown nut! augh!) ran directly across my oncoming path!! i was like wth!! wat's ur problem! outraged. haha. i wish i had a picture of that though. i really thought i might've run over the stupid squirrel. :p

sigh i feel so stupid. so jackie's taking a nap and so i was working with just my desk lamp.. and then i turned it off and attempted to make my way to the door to go for dinner. and -taadaa- i tripped over her suitcase or something and hit my head on the fridge corner. very very painful. my first thought was like i want my mommy haha and then after that i got paranoid that this knock has addled my brains. cos i'm doing this bio course on intro to brain and behavior and there're lots of stories about how if certain parts of your brain are damaged then it'll effect some behavioral effect and i was thinking wat if i knocked this part which unblocks all the childhood inhibition thingys and i start behaving like a kid. 0_0.

i hope i'm being paranoid at any rate. and it somewhat reminds me of bertram's story earlier about how some SJI kid got knocked by a shot putt (imagine that! poor guy) and apparently became a genius after that. haha. oh well. thankfully for peling my poor RA who walked to wilbur to get ice for me.

it also doesn't help that i'm not feeling too great.. nose clogging up and swallowing hurts. augh! i will not get sick! more smoothies. yay for jamba juice and late nite.

jekyll pup and hyde pup. i was so amused by this i sent it out to the improv class list (and found out that the list is moderated. !! not like it's that likely that pple will spam the list, but oh well..) cos it reminded me of a warm-up exercise that we do sometimes.

jekyll pup [RAWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!!]



hyde pup [awwww]



it's soooo cute. haha. hasn't failed to cheer me up/amuse me when it's late at night and i'm feeling so battered that it's so easy to let depressing thoughts overcome me. i am definitely more susceptible to feeling awful at night when i'm tired and it's been a long day. talk about rollercoasters.

but i am so thankful for the guys to help out with the sporean stuff though.. why nygh and dhs have to come visit in the same week is a HUGE mystery to me.. it's so tiring. i used to think it'd be fun but once is more than enough.. after rj came last year i had enough already. maybe also cos we did jc visits during summer.

haha this is hilarious, my econ 52 prof (the useless one who doesn't teach anything in class - okay i'm being so mean here, he's not all that bad) writing on how phillips was a crocodile hunter.. and i was commenting that he's probably getting in touch with his australian roots (see the first page of the paper: http://www.jstor.org/view/00130133/di983528/98p0011i/0) and then i skim the other pages and it's like a biography of phillips! i'm like.. hm.. why are they publishing this, i bet he blackmailed them or something haha.

i really come up with the most nonsensical stuff at night when i'm tired i think. last night i was rather pissed off with the whole NYGH tour stuff (they coordinated their trip with some grad student and i had no idea wat was going on and blah blah blah) so i was complaining to poor long-suffering jackie about having to "do my civic duty as a singaporean here" and bring them on a tour.. so just before i fell asleep i was spouting some nonsense about how i should bring a whip and make them stand in line or something like that. must really ask jackie later wat she remembers of my ridiculous suggestions last night..

oh yes. jackie is awake. first it was me being snappy and snapping at them. jackie's examples of things i would snap:
kids "oh.. it's so pretty"
me, snapping "of cos it's pretty! it's stanford!"

kids "where's the library"
me, snapping "they're both libraries! this is stanford! there's more than one library!"

next, because i was complaining about having better things to do rather than doing a tour (i.e. my econ pset, which at this moment i still have not completed) so i don't know how we came out with me making them do a military march to make them hurry up and march around campus so i can hurry up and come back and do my work. (and this is where the whip comes in)

sigh. i am currently so confused about everything. :( but i think it's just been a long (albeit fun-filled) day and i need to sleep.

it's so unbelievably nice to feel free. after those two midterms on tuesday.. i really have not been doing any work. not that it's a good thing (okay it's good to relax for a bit) but it's lots of fun! whee. feel so much better. and improv is amazing, i wasn't feeling very well starting sun afternoon and then i was contemplating asking the teacher to just let me observe the class instead on monday but i decided otherwise (plus i was a bit late:|) and i felt so much better after the class it was ridiculous.. i mean i'd been drinking fruit smoothies/soup/etc to prevent myself from feeling worse and stuff but after class it was just great. gave me the energy to study for my midterms.

and wednesday was so interesting, we weren't allowed to speak for the full 1h50 and had to keep in constant motion.. so the teacher (dan) brought us into the room one by one and there were these periods of time where we were doing something like stomp.. but with clapping and stamping. rhythm beats! quite fun. and then there was a lot of miming (we call it 'space objects')

so this guy was pretending to reel in a huge fish.. and i pretended to be the fish, and after that i apparently was skewered, roasted, cut in half. (all this i couldn't see cos i was on my side pretending to be dead). then later one guy grabbed my legs and another one grabbed my arms and they started swinging me (like when you're going to dunk ppl?) and i was like ooh, this is interesting. and later this other girl was telling me that dan was so horrified when he saw them doing that cos he was afraid i'd get hurt and his eyes opened SO wide and he kept motioning for them to put me down.

anyway. lasertag tonight! ryan and alex dominated again.. those guys are crazy man.. last year they dominated too. haha. lots of fun! whee.