hakuna matata

surprisingly enough i did quite a bit work at work today haha. in the morning, that is. maybe cos i had deadlines to meet so i actually did my stuff. but by the end of the day i was quite sleepy/tired/sian already. this is called burn out:p

and sleepy because i slept maybe 5 hrs last night. not good. which is partly cos of a loong phone conversation. i shall try my best to forget the contents. just rather horrifying to find out some things i suppose. and to dwell on them is even worse. please don't ask me wat i'm talking about. this paragraph is meant to be cryptic.

suddenly i can't decide wat sort of mood i'm in. so confusing. sad that everyone's starting to leave? unhappy/dissatisfied in general? not wanting to leave? knowing that uni life is not going to be easy? aargh. i wish they'd hurry up and send my housing stuff. grr. not even a confirmed date yet, and i'll still have to add 5 days to that date unless they fedex it.

oh, i just remembered something. while trying to write that oral reading passage this morning, i realised wat's gd abt my current job. it's kind of like interning at sph, you get to write stuff and it's printed, and you get recognition (in the form of your name printed as author). just that i think it's better here cos i don't have to do surveys:p and i get to write any sort of stuff i like as long as i stick to lesley's theme. yeah, and i get more authority cos i'm the only intern left in eru/helping out with library. so, in that sense, one feels more important/valued. i bet tinky felt even more powerful cos she was there for the longest time and dabbled in the most things:)
but well, that only goes when everyone (including myself) is satisfied with my work. which may not necessarily always be the case.

i think i shall refrain from making funny faces at cameras.

anyway, my brother's hilarious. he suggested i buy a large sheet, dump my laundry in the middle of it and tie up the four ends into a bundle. then put it on a stick and march off to the laundry room. like a tramp or watever u call it.. u noe those u always see in books. haha.
and then when we saw this mini straw container he suggested i buy it.. so i asked "wat'm i gonna put inside?" and he said "u could keep a pet snake". rofl.

my shopping attempts today were rather unfruitful. ikea's fun to walk through though.. their bedrooms are always so nicely furnished. and makes you feel like getting a new house/redecorating ur room. i find that i like a lot of useless things. like moodlighting, which looks oh so pretty but is really quite impractical. so sad.

and queensway. man. i've never felt so clueless before. i wonder how i went shopping for shoes last time. oh well. i really feel like i need more time for shopping but with work.. how?? maybe i'll disappear off to orchard during lunch to walk around la. then i'll end up eating on the go again.. which isn't fantastic given that my dinners are usually not of the sit-down-and-eat variety due to time constraints.

decided to put up two examples of wat i wrote for the p1s.
no. 1: mad hatter suggests baking a huge biscuit for a table cloth so if they spill anything on it, they can just eat up the biscuit. march hare doesn't like the idea cos the table cloth will disappear in no time.
no. 2: in an abandoned garden, there are talking fruits and veges. one day the tomatoes roll out of bed to go to sch, and meet their strawberry fren on the way. she didn't eat her breakfast properly so had chocolate all over her (choc-coated strawberry haha:) and then at sch they bullied the dragonfruit cos it looks weird. so they got scolded. (i decided i must try to inculcate some values/educate them on wat a dragonfruit looks like)

so.. today's dinner didn't turn out to be rg gep farewell after all, sadly.. oh well. wat to do:( grr. but it was still fun anyway:) we had v gd food! waha:) love their stingray.. the chilli is fantastic.. esp with the lime.

joon lyd me
pam on top, frm left to right - me jane tinky

anyway, i don't know why but everyone at work had the mistaken impression that i injured my leg. hmm. oh well. it was nice they actually asked though. and i was very happy i made the correct decision to go to bugis to look for earrings! yeahh.. i didn't know i would find something which satisfied me so perfectly but i had the impression i would find what i was looking for:) yay.. but they were so pretty i almost couldn't bear to give them away.. but i think they're more chris than me la:)

yay and tmr's friday! yippee:D it's rather funny, when i don't work, i'll slack and wish i had something to do. when i work, i will want to slack and also will realise i actually have quite a number of things to do which i wish i had done when i was slacking. like wat ting was saying yesterday. ah well. humans.. reverse psychology.

i think powell's book is so right. at least, i think i read it frm powell's book. it said that a person is always changing, because that is growth. there is no static self. so you may have met your friend just a few weeks ago, and you meet the same friend again, but he/she is not the same person. and neither are you. interesting huh. i found it to be true today. or maybe it's a matter of perspective.

i remembered, when i was in sec 1, i used to avoid going out alone with someone else (and i'm not talking about guys). afraid that i wouldn't have things to talk about, afraid of awkward silences (which still happen now actually), afraid the other person would be really bored. but sometimes, not going out in a group is good. get to talk about more personal things.

anyway, watched charlie n choc factory! yay:) haha. oh, i didn't go to work today:D big grin. no minutes-taking today! wahahaha. so i decided i must take advantage of this one free weekday and go watch show.

now about the show. it's really quite twisted. i mean, willy wonka/johnny depp is so so sadistic. although i'm sure there's a better word to describe him. positively evil sometimes.. looking pleased when the children get disposed of one by one. and the guy who played the oompa loompa.. man.. i really wish they'd chosen a better-looking actor. it was quite painful having to look at ugly little men for the movie duration. this is why actors/actresses must look gd, one pays money to look at them for ~2hrs, evidently some quality is expected..

and i also thought that the oompa loompas' songs and dances were very commercialised. when i read the book, i kind of imagined simple singing and folk-dance-type of dance.. not rock and techno and mass-dance-type of dance. the edible grass field + waterfall thingy looked kind of fake. but maybe it was supposed to.

besides that i thought the child actors were very good.. charlie (freddie highmore).. mike teavee was funny.. although his sneering expression reminded me of draco malfoy haha. and the chocolate! wahh. i was telling chris i wanted to go eat choc instead of ice cream aft tt.. and i think tim burton has a fetish for patterns and precision. the factory, the trucks going out of the factory, the bikes delivering the posters, all had a perfect pattern. quite appealing in a way.

and although johnny depp's sadism was a tad freaky sometimes (and his annoying little giggle and hairstyle and makeup) he was still quite amusing at times. though i stand by my opinion that he makes a better pirate than anything else. ohh.. the way he clapped when the puppets caught fire was so funny/terrible.. the shocked looks on the kids' and parents' faces were hilarious..

three fav quotes frm him in the movie:
1. in the field/waterfall room:
"Everything in this room is eatable. In fact, even I am eatable. But that, my dear children, is called cannibalism which is in fact frowned upon in most societies."
2. when one of the kids asks wat the top/best prize is: "the best of prize is a .. surprise!"
3. upon discovering a silver hair during his semi-annual haircut: "And in that moment I realised; 'I must find a... hair (heir)'".

more funny quotes:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367594/quotes

and i had a very good time with chris today! yay:)

today's class gathering had the best turn out ever.. well not that we have had many to start with. but still, 17 out of 25 is fantastic. the only pple not there: prc scholars, ray, matthew, shaun, yonglai, candice. after reading that powell book, i find that with the class, we're like maybe at the fourth level of communication which is quite sad.

fifth level: cliched conversation e.g. how're you (and standard reply: fine)
fourth: talking about other people, wat they've been doing (reporting facts abt others)
third: sharing one's ideas/judgement
second: sharing one's emotions ("gut-level" communication)
first: peak communication (total honesty and openness)

so, u noe, we talk about wat's happening in our lives currently i.e. unis and etc.. it's just so superficial in a way. or maybe i expect too much. i find that anything less than maybe a level 3 is unfulfilling (and i get bored really easily, i need a change of attitude, and i seem to have said this before). but like andrew said, i guess we're not that gd enuff frens to progress to that level. oh well. it gets tedious after a while.

anyway, today i woke up to find that the state of my back hadn't improved much and i still felt the most exquisite pain if i twist in certain ways. luckily there's mommy to help massage and buy yoko-yoko haha. hopefully tmr it'll be fine if not i'll be even more unhappy at work.

i don't mind admitting that i'm in intense pain right now. when i shift from position to position. crap. i mean, i don't mind moderate aching but this is really too much! i should've stopped when i had to and not pretended everything was alright. bah. alvin was so helpful, one of his suggestions: "maybe you ought to gain some weight so you won't be so bony" he's such a hoot.. but that doesn't help when it's so painful! augh. and i think i'll have two "wristbands" tmr, just wait and see. and first time i've seen deborah in outside clothes. impressive:p and rather different, i must say.

anyway.. ml is hilarious.. she made them line up outside the library and wave at me.. and they had to file in and say "gd afternoon jie jie". rofl. then this guy was taking forever to choose a book to borrow so first she went "u have exactly 23 seconds left to borrow your book!" and later, exasperated "you're not choosing a wife u noe.. just a book!" rofl.

and i was quite annoyed when tst popped into the library and told me to -ahem- wear a jacket because parents could see the library from outside and one must always wear a jacket when in sight of parents. right. it happens to be like a sauna in the library, in case you didn't know.. of course i'm exaggerating, but stuffy air doesn't really go with jackets, unless your dearest wish is for me to suffocate. but there, i'm being uncharitable, she's not a bad person. i think. i wonder exactly which hr person told wtc that she ought to dye her hair back to black.. another ridiculous thing. at least she said jc hasn't said anything so she doesn't care.

ahh.. sharks. so painful. hope it subsides by tmr if not i'm done for.

haha yayyy i finally got to sleep a loooong time today:D let's see.. i think it was around 11hours. i was going to take a short nap last night and wake up to watch the arts central show at 10pm about smart animals but felt too tired. and actually i woke up at 7sth (i think for a moment, i thought it was a working day) then i realised it's saturday! if i wake up early today i won't get many chances to wake up late so i'd better make full use of it.. refused to get up and back to sleep i went:D yay. i haven't gotten the chance to sleep late in like.. at least 2 weeks.

and also the first saturday in a loong while that i get to laze around at home. whee~

ahh. i was clearing out msgs in my phone yest and realised i should really get down to finishing that quote compilation: haha. i am such a procrastinator. i think it's cos of the magnitude of the thing.. i'm so glad it's the weekend.. so sleepy every day. and working, no matter how, gets mundane.

though today we had a fun time laughing over oral pictures:D actually i didn't realise the train was heading towards the restaurant (with no tracks, i might add) until johann pointed it out. then we started looking for mistakes. and it was hilarious! haha.. got to amuse jane n lesley n rachel n debbie. and rachel is mad.. first she threatened to squeeze me (more like wring me) if i didn't shelve the books properly. then later she called me a pink piggie (or sth like that) cos i was wearing a red-pink shirt today. right. and she keeps accusing me of being v free/slacking. which i admit i do, but really, one doesn't have to point it out. anyway it's fun to annoy rachel:p

i think i figured out why i was a little scared of the eru pple. most of them are taller than me! bleah. i mean, it was an unconscious thing and i only thought about it and realised it just now. but i think that's just a small part of it. really depends.

looking foward to next week! two meet-ups:) and holidayyy!! haha.. i must watch charlie n the choc factory soon. i can't figure out what some parts of the reviews meant.. so johnny depp's acting was lousy? that's sad.. i think i shall have to wait and see for myself. time to go read my newly-koped books! i think tuesdays with morrie is much better than five pple in heaven.. maybe cos it deals with deeper issues wrt life and death.

ahh. i'm looking forward to nxt week.. got holiday! haha. and finally more time to sleep. i hope. today step groove/soul was fun:) the rhythm! nice beat..

work is fun when i can annoy rachel in the library.. haha.. just goes to show 1st impressions are sometimes erroneous. somehow i thought she wasn't that friendly but well.. proven wrong, happily:) on the other hand it's not gd to be proven wrong sometimes though (i.e. think someone's nice and find out otherwise)

today's lunch was gd! and then sitting in at johann's farewell lunch.. ml is really hilarious.. i think her classes must be loads of fun.. she has a very nice voice. and lcn too. and i still can't help laughing when i think abt jc telling tchers to warn their kids about large vans (bcos the compo for p2s was about this stranger tailing a lil girl, and large vans are usually involved in kidnapping cases). and then dg said, sarcastically and solemnly, (jc wasn't at meeting) "stay away from large vans.. even if your father drives one.." rofl

okay i just finished reading tuesdays with morrie. frankly, when I read the synopsis, I thought I wasn't going to like it because, why would I want to read a book about a dying prof and a student? okay, ex-student. in any case, I found that it was a rather powerful book. but when I was thinking about it, I couldn't really remember the things that morrie said? although when I was reading the book, they sounded sensible.

heh sometimes it's so hard to verbalise feelings. anyway, later i was thinking about what i could remember from the book that made a lot of sense to me. but it's mostly things like love and relationships are impt, our culture doesn't make us feel gd/help us to be more human. but it's humans who make up culture isn't it?

and things like, appreciating small things. when i think about it (and i read the bad reviews on amazon too, haha) a lot of the things there are really quite cliched, i think it's the story woven in that makes a difference.

or maybe it just meant more to me coming on the heels of reading that book about communication. and it does help one view death with less fear and more determination to do something about one's life. just that as usual, i think i'll forget everything.. something bad about me. i tend to gloss over things very fast. e.g. sleep and wake up and hey presto! all worries (and any other resolutions) gone.

but yes, there is much to be said about living a life that you believe in. which hitherto i doubt many people have been doing. the same way it's easier to stay here than go off to study, it's easier to just pretend everything's fine and do normal routine stuff than pursue wat you really want. again, that's been said so many times but hard to do.

i don't know why i'm so tired today. i kept yawning and yawning throughout the day.. and during meeting as well. although that happens once or so the past few meetings, today it was definitely more than that.

arrh i just opened another explorer window to do something and i forgot wat it was! bah.

i have decided one thing gd abt tll is that i get to kope bks frm the library. although that's not really allowed, but who cares. as i told ting, i am the self-professed worst employee. haha. i just do things my own way i think. and take lots of breaks. jane and kiat chuan and ting were so surprised at me. but joon wasn't. i guess it's who you work for.. ohwell.

ah. and i came across this book by john powell called "why i am afraid to tell you who i am". scanned thru it.. quite interesting. about how people behave around others. pple always say there is a "true self" as a core and many people put on masks, but really, ur true self is always changing, that's what growth is. i think i shall read that one day.. very interesting. and the different levels of communication. the lowest is the cliche sort e.g. "how was ur day?" and the typical answer "fine, thank you".

jane and joon came to lunch today! i must add that jane was rather late. grr. oh well. anyway talking to them (they have like 2.5 weeks left) made me realise something i actually wudn't realised until everyone's gone.. the feeling of not wanting to go. of missing everything here.

and i thought about it a little tonight.. it'll be a different style of teaching there and i'll miss it here.. ahh. rather inevitable though i guess. bleah. suddenly i'm scared all over again! bah.

and i think andrew is right, it's hard to find a job i won't be bored with. cos i told him i can't do things repeatedly cos the repetition makes me go mad. okay it doesn't really, but i get bored and don't feel like doing it anymore, must go do sth else.

oh wed i met ms hoo! she was so funny.. saying she decided to go enquire about learning lab cos the pple at the outside reception looked v free. and then i met her again later aft she was reunited w russell n grandma, and she accused me of slacking cos i take so many toilet breaks. in which i tried to defend myself by telling her the first time i saw her, i was looking for a teacher in the berlin wing. ah well.

ah.. okay.. thurs. i was talking to this p1 kid in the library cos her mom came late.. and asked her "how old do you think i am?" and she said "nine". (maybe cos before that she said something which sounded like nine, and i asked "nine?") anyway, it was quite funny.. i went back into eru to whine at johann who laughed at me.

fri. christine called me a goldfish and puckered her lips in an imitation of one. later on, in the library, i discovered two pages of some book lying on a shelf. so i brought them to rachel. i don't know why i couldnt' stop laughing, but there you are. went into tlu, waved the two pages at her, she stared at the pages+me. informed her that i found them on a shelf, and she was getting ready to whine, when her colleagues told her "don't cry lah.. got other things to cry about". so she complained "aiyah these kids.. why they like that..."
and i found that jane's from rj! wow. and all the pple in eru are arts pple. oh wait i think wtc said she did trip sci. well yeah.. it's so... dunno. stereotypical?

today! haha woke up late. oh well. my bed was v comfy, not nice to leave:( anyway, went sentosa, played beach vball. i'm really quite bad at it, my right thumb-where-it-joins-to-the-wrist is quite bruised now, and so is my inner right forearm. ahem ahem. then played touch rug. i don't remember wat sports i used to like, this is quite sad. not to mention alarming.
and then, it started raining and there were 7 of us stuck under that pathetic shelter, which wasn't of much help. luckily those china pple left their mats next to the shelter so we had extra protection.. ahaha. but still got rather cold. ah well.
rcs meeting. i think it was kinda pointless for the overseas pple to go since we can't join them.. i think? and that'll be like 4 years later.. =shrug=

oh and i got a little high after homezone.. first time in a long while too. just started laughing, probably bcos i was sandwiched btwn the twins and going mad. i mean, first, max "charmaine is fun to bully" and then immediately on the other side, martyn repeats the exact same thing. and then later it was sth abt daryl not liking them. and it was really, exactly the same thing! i don't know if they did it purposely or wat.. but it was quite funny somehow. just was in a crazy mood i guess. sometimes it's difficult to be in a crazy mood cos pple will look at you in a weird manner.. sometimes it's just good to go crazy and let go of everything.

ahh.. on a related line, i am totally sick of listening to star wars dialogue in the tll library.. i shall go mad soon, with the looping star wars trailer.. "the dark side.." "the dark side.." "the dark side.." -sound of light sabers flashing- (x3) and "do something R2!" (x3) u get the idea.. i forgot if rachel or johann very helpfully told me to go memorise the dialogue

heh haven't blogged the entire week.
so, mon.. qamarul n melvyn came for lunch. i wish deborah had come too so i wouldn't be outnumbered! gah. and i started library duty. and i didn't know that monday and tuesday were still part of the odd week cycle! sigh.. so i got mixed up. ah well. ohh.. and i faxed forte the wrong side of the timesheet (used recycled paper) so lorelle got oral pics instead of the timesheet. oops. haha. really pathetic.

tues ran off to esplanade to catch lunchtime concert. was kind of late. anyway they sang my fav song fly me to the moooonn.. haha. their bass is super powerful... man.. v cool:) and one of their tenors was very good.. as in has the jazzy feel. the other guy sounded like he was just singing words. or maybe it was the songs he was singing -shrug-

wed.. ser came for lunch. pizza hut! haha their lunch deal is really quite good. good value for money i mean. for once i ate faster than ser haha. but of cos that was partly cos she was doing more talking (as usual) and had an extra calamari to finish. ahh calamari reminds me of christine calling me clarmari on italy trip.
ah. oh yes so i went back up to help her photostat my ravel score (idiotic gal didn't tell me earlier so i could do it when no one was around.. man...) and ended up getting scolded by flora chan (i think) cos she wanted to use the machine. bah.
then time for meeting.. as usual i felt rather extra sitting in the middle of the path (cos the laptop had to be charged) but can look at the mirror and see who's coming! haha. anyway so christine arrived and tapped me on the head so i stuck my tongue out at her (the outraged expression on her face was quite hilarious) and she called me a horrible hamster! augh.
lesley on sick leave so i didn't hand up my work.

thurs. went in search of porridge for lunch.. lemme see.. i think i'll continue another time. too tired. and stupid sistic website..!$*&(^. freaking annoying. hopefully calling works tmr and we get gd seats. gahh.
anyway i really need sleep, i don't know why i'm going to wake up at 6sth tmr to go to sentosa.. i must be mad.

ouch. poor clar's feet are v painful! anyway, i had a fun time today:) although i felt rather extra at experiences fair, really. and met a few of my seniors. and met chris n ser n emilyn!:) and poor old max haha.. and jane. and johann. and wenyu. and then lyd finally arrived.. and we went off to planet fitness.

i've never gone into one of these gyms.. although i think i've possibly seen one of them (from the outside) in my dreams, weirdly. anyway it was quite cool.. although as usual felt extra cos lyd was the one wanting a tour and i wasn't intending to join them. and on the way to city hall, we stopped by some spectacle shop and lyd happily took down all the branded shades and tried them on me.

anyway we went pacific coffee to have a snack. since lyd didn't have lunch and was hungry. yummy apple strudel:D chunks of apple and raisins and icing sugar! haha. then jiahui msged to say she was going to be late. and lyd called junwan, only to realise joon just woke up (this gal is champion at sleeping) so lyd called them "silly donkeys" (haha somehow it sounds v cute) and threatened to make them pay for dinner. then lyd started telling me the story of pooh and his frens (which she's been hooked on cos apparently they're very amusing - this reminds me of teletubbies) and recommending that i should go read the stories too

shall skip forward to pam's play! haha it was really a mini-rj gathering again.. pam's class, yihan's class, yunlei, lou, aud, mj, engsiang, sengteck, jon chen, ... woah. lou's so funny.. complaining about how sucky smu camp was. anyway the play was quite funny.. although a bit mystifying when the pple changed identities.. and for some part of it i couldn't really make out wat moon n birdboot were talking about. maybe i shall go read the play..

oh before tt lyd suggested going to bugis to eat durians.. so we really did walk there (although jiahui thought it would take an hour to walk there frm old parliament house, haha) and yay! durians! haha but we were so obviously amateurish it was rather pathetic:p nvm, we shall improve.

4 is a nice number for a grp outing:) enjoyed myself lots today!

back from concert. rather tired and i have to wake up by 8 tmr.. well. hopefully nxt week sat i'll get to wake up late. haha. anyway.. concert was good.. i think their blending has improved. haha. just an impression, maybe the recordings will sound different though. or maybe acoustics were better. or maybe they just got better:) i enjoyed the last few songs most though.. probably cos they were my favourites to begin with..

while i was watching them a lot of thoughts came to my mind. some memories, not all of which are pleasant. and wondering about things i'll never know. or never want to know, for that matter. anyway, on a lighter note, what they said about mingze's english and his freestyling was hilarious.. cos it's absolutely true! haha..

oh! i forgot to say something about audry's photo in college day report. she was in this hot pink shirt. so i was like "audry!!" and she claims it's red. really in denial -shakes head-

mooo:( had to wake up at 7.30am again today. groan. poor clar. tmr i can't wake up late either if not i'll be late for church. and then the work week starts again. hai.. anyway, it was fun going back and seeing pple:) although didn't see that many pple.. i think i'll see more tonight:)


rachel! long-lost friend from LDS! haha. LDS is fantastic.. first chris n estelle end up in the same class.. then i found out rachel and alex chia are twins..

my silly pig brother:)

mommy.. people like to say she looks like she's my sister.

dearest fiona.. disclaimer: she normally wear skirts much shorter than this, apparently her mom decided on her outfit. i hope she doesn't kill me for this:p

yingheng and wang ning (mr incredible who's gonna be flying w me n kiat chuan)
mr chan, aud and lu bo! haha. mini 3c gathering.. ohh.. i forgot to take photo with sarah, darn.
me and audry:) the student of the year.. woohoo!~ haha. can u believe this girl got 3 awards.. hais.. she and jireh.

kaicheng, val lau, me, yuxian. val said i'd gotten thinner (yay! haha)

oh mr math chan, upon hearing about my new job, remarked that "everytime i hear from u u're doing something completely different". i wouldn't say completely, but well. mr bio chan is leaving nxt week.. btw serene, mrs lim says she misses u, u're actually quite funny. haha. quick, be honoured! which reminds me, i had better finish that compilation of quotes fast.. heh.

yay.. friday!:) and i finished one cloze passage today for p3 n 4s.. yeah.. 9 more to go for pri 1s. haha. suddenly i have so many things to do. and i only sound happier cos i'm at home now. anyway, for the record, yesterday lesley set me 3 sets of 3 cloze passages, 1 compre and 1 compo. so, i am quite occupied until wednesday. given that i can finish all that. i think at most i can churn out one or two articles per day, it's amazing how johann can finish things in 2 hours. maybe i'm just too perfectionistic. or like i said, low boredom threshold so i have to do bit by bit.

oh, and starting next week i have library duty because the wonderful boss (with another one of his fabulous ideas) has decided that librarians must do the returning of books (instead of letting teachers do it although they're perfectly capable of it). i shall read books there! hah. i mean, while taking breaks from my work, of course:)

and i wish they'll tell me my confirmed pay. then i can decide on how long i should stay. haha.
and i also think i'm not very easy to get to know. which is, hopefully, supposed to change soon. at first i wasn't sure i want that to change, but now i think it should. how confusing.

ah just for everyone's amusement, more accounts of how i never look my age. various staff, on seeing me for the first time, "are you a student?" me "no, i'm working here." staff looks puzzled. me "i'm the new intern". ah.
to top it off, on wed, christine, who interviewed me, walked past me without realising it was me at first then she turned around "so small!! i thought u were a student!" and then yest she called me a sec 3 gal who can't look thru the boston classroom windows (cos i'm too short). nyam nyam nyam.
oh also on wed i was asking this guy "how old are u?" and he said "9. u? 14 ah?"
i think i shall just be thankful i haven't been relegated back to p6.

shall just enjoy my weekend.. i'm going to feel even more broke though, dischordant concert tmr and pam's play on sun. but i'm sure it'll be well worth it, and i'll be happy! whee~ i wish my pay was here.. haha.

hum. today was a very forgetful day. first, when i was seated in the bus, i realised i forgot to bring my timesheet. !#%. then, when i was going into newton mrt, i thought i was in novena and had to take the marina bay line to get to my destination. so, i was wondering why the train was so crowded, then i realised i was headed for orchard. $%^ again. had to run to catch the other train back. i'm quite sure i made some more spastic mistakes but i can't remember them at the moment so we shall leave it as that.

lousy joon woke up late so didn't lunch w me. nvm, i have lyd for company tmr (i think) and ser on mon. and i'm going to feel even more broke: unless we eat at a foodcourt/hawker centre. i'm quite sure lyd wun do that tho haha.

tinky came to visit! it was really nice to see her, hadn't seen her in ages.. and she was actually telling me stuff about tll which i didn't know (nobody having bothered to tell me). so pathetic. oh well.

feeling rather sleepy really. i can't believe another week has passed so quickly. and i really don't enjoy 9 to 5 jobs. or 9 to 6. oh well.

grrr. i was originally in quite a good mood cos i got a pay raise today (amazingly, given that the only thing i've handed up in since last wed is a cloze passage on cloning). and then now i find out that my name, on my new krisflyer card, is "wen juan clarissa". this is the sole fault of that guy with the very strong indian accent at the other end of the line, when i called the sia krisflyer hotline. i am incensed. okay, after eating twisties i have calmed down. but i am still rather annoyed. i think i like eating too much for my own good. at least i hope i still possess this little thing called self control.

ahh.. woke up today and it was such a lovely cool morning i didn't wanna get up. as usual. i realised i kind of like rain. so if it's going to rain in san fran during winter it doesn't sound that bad! heh. or maybe i just like rain cos it's cooling.

anyway, got to work, no one was around. and i quickly got that stupid timesheet signed so i wouldn't have any trouble later. talk about idiotic rules.. drive me nuts. yesterday i brought candice into the centre (where the students normally wait for classes) cos i was gonna get water for her and then someone came out and was like "sorry, you have to wait outside".. like.. problem la there's no one around, i'm just trying to get water and we can go..

but that was yesterday. today i happily spent the morning reading books. since no one from my dept was around, and i couldn't think of anything else related to "civic consciousness" and "a brave deed" (for compo topics). by tomorrow i shall have to find something else to do. library-tidying only presents itself as a job at certain times of the day.

i think i shall quit by end-aug (unless i feel sufficiently poor) haha then can go buy my stuff and clear my room. it is in a horrific state.

oh, and like i was telling hk last night, blogging is cathartic. therefore when i blog, it'll more likely be unhappy. also i don't think i feel happy very often. three main states: not happy, neutral, slightly happy for a while.

my mom wanted me to bring my comforter along. (they don't provide comforters and pillows, ugh) she appears to think that i possess a magical suitcase which will never be fully-filled, and even when laden with a large amount of stuff, will remain feather-light.

i think i didn't blog for a while. oh. it was only one day. oops. yesterday was good! the little mermaid ballet under the stars! i'm glad it didn't rain.. but really, lines like "here is a knife. see, it is sharp" are really too much. luckily that was the worst. the stuffed shark was so cute:p and the crab and the lobster.. and the oysters! hahaha. so cute.

and gd old cheukka.. "can we eat during the performance?" (when sabrina mentioned the floats that they were going to dance on for some nus thing) "float as in the sea one?" and it was great seeing sya! i haven't seen her in ages.. she's so funny n practical:) (and scathing of silly remarks) and of cos lijia who's so tanned now..

anyway, as usual i didn't wanna wake up today. there's nothing like appreciating days of slacking when one has to get up to work. and no one was in my unit at 9am. ... time to slack! haha. i finished reading my book. happily. and i've finished my 2nd cloze passage.

i think i have a very low boredom threshold. i can't sit there and stare at the computer screen for very long, trying to craft something to my satisfaction. i have to walk around. and in that pathetic place, there is no where to walk to. basically, i need to have breaks in between, if not i'll just stare and get tired and accomplish nothing. somehow, putting aside stuff and coming back to it gives me new ideas. which are frequently better.

okay i'm just in quite a bad mood wrt work today.. luckily candice came down for lunch:) and a very good lunch it was! though i'm feeling kinda poor now hmm. and i got to waste extra time. haha. i'm probably one of the best examples of skivers you can find.

yeah and then i decided to go help out at the library and tidy up. and read some books at the same time haha. i think i'm anti-social. i have nothing to say to my colleagues. and there're so many times when i have nothing to say to a lot of people. including my friends. i somehow seem to remember not being this way when i was in sec sch but maybe i was just in self-denial or something.

anyway, i hate working in general. why do people torture themselves this way. okay i'm repeating wat i said in january. the only reason why i'm there, is so that i won't feel poor. but to not feel poor, i have to be unhappy. isn't that sad? clar is just cranky today.

i am further disillusioned. i think peiying is right, i am very unsuspecting. i.e. not cut out for this world. tinky says maybe i just look on the good side. thanks for cheering me up anyhow:)

yeah and i realised every mon n wed i'll have to rush. i think mon's more worth it though haha. and if you really do read this, which i don't think you will, thanks for trying to make me feel better:)

I think the pre-departure seminar made me a little more excited about leaving.. but only for the moment. still fearful of many things!

and yesterday in office when I was looking at the MSN website, I realised that (today) Harry Potter 6 is out! but I can't buy:( oh well. some kind soul please lend it to me? haha. though it's not that such a big deal anymore, I think I was more excited for the 5th book.. now it's kind of just for the sake of finishing the series. I think I've moved on. to better things! haha.

as foreseen, I was quite bored at grandpa's bday dinner. luckily two of my cousins were sitting at my table and my bro was v fascinated at the size of their youngest bro (sitting at the other table). the youngest bro is pri 3, and weighs somewhere in the range of 55 - 60 kg. he's around 1.2m. calculate his bmi, anyone? rofl. anyway, the oldest bro pointed to the youngest bro's tummy and asked "how many months already ah?" rofl.. and the 2 of them came up with various nicknames for the poor guy, including "mohammed ali" and "incredible bulk".. I really like the last name.

oh and I recounted the story of the creative primary 1 kid to my bro.. he sed he wud have given the kid A+ instead of failing him like the teachers apparently did.. totally agree there.. hahaha.

tinky has just related this to me, and it amused me hugely so i hope everyone else has a good laugh. the basic topic was to write about quacky the duck in united square :

this primary 1 wrote about quacky the duck who was walking around united square and then the duck rice seller at the food court saw him and caught him and turned him into roast duck.

tinky says she thinks they failed him. rofl.. although i sympathise with the poor fellow, it's actually quite an original piece of work:p creativity! hahaha. i must go dig up the pri1 file again and see if there's anything funny.

haha. i spent the morning reading the 2nd book in the chronicles of narnia. i.e. the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. it's quite interesting i guess.. although definitely for kids, given the language. which brings to mind my favourite bagthorpe series by helen cresswell.. it has a whole lot of super-cheem words and references I've never heard of and yet it's supposed to be for kids? hmm. anyway I wish they'd reprint it.. like my gerald durrell books.

okay back to the lion the witch n the wardrobe. the Christian references were really so obvious.. i felt kind of weird reading it. because it was too similar to the Bible. it's funny to have a lion instead of Jesus. even though it's a book.. okay nevermind maybe it's just me.

anyway, I stand by what I told Candice last time. Lunchtime is the highlight of the day when you're working! and of cos going home time, but that's at the end of the day so not counted.. I'm always very happy when it's time to knock off.. rofl

and I really wish I weren't writing for primary 1.. I don't think they're going to appreciate my style of writing cos it's been so long since I've done the narrative/descriptive thing. ugh. hmm. I don't know what I can write, actually. haven't tried satirising stuff in a really long time. or maybe that was only cos my brother egged me on. haha.

ah. and last night I woke up in the middle of the night, remembered I hadn't bought stuff to bring overseas, and I hadn't learnt how to cook. 9 weeks. or rather, soon coming to 8.

first day of work. something i realised, while i was staring around for inspiration. a lot of offices have no windows. that's why it's so oppressive, because everywhere you look, it's white walls. or cupboards. or walls. or computers. but actually even at home I don't think i look out of the window very much. maybe that's cos i have the luxury of not-staring-at-the-computer-all-the-time at home.. haha.

and taking minutes is very stressful. maybe cos it was my first time. or i didn't know what's important. i'm v glad i get to miss the 2nd meeting on wednesdays though haha:p

i think i shall take up my mom's suggestion and go read the lion, the witch and the wardrobe so i can, ahem, do my research better. haha. yeahh.... but after looking at all the pri sch stuff i'm like .. all this stuff is so long ago.. like narrative essays with a setting, building up to climax and resolving, different ways to describe stuff... synonyms for walk, anybody?

went to collect cheque today. i must say, i still think it was quite a waste of time to make both of us go down to collect it.. anyway, the tea cup set was so interesting.. i've never seen tea made like that. haha. oops. ignoramus. and he spent quite a lot of time telling us about ypag. some of which bored me to tears, rest of which was rather illuminating. i bet ting enjoyed herself though.. right? heh. this is exactly why i don't want to work for the government. cos i'm not interested. or maybe i'm one of the typical apathetic youth. not a very good sign.

anyway i start work tomorrow. finally, i'll be less broke. but i have to wait till end of the month to get my pay:( bah. therefore outings must be cut down until i receive some $$.

i guess i did have quite a fun time after all.. although i've come to dread the loooong walk to east coast park frm kembangan mrt. bleah. it's really long okay! even while i admit that i'm lazy. 1/2hr walk. and in the hot sun. it was nice cycling though, i haven't cycled in a looong time. a little wobbly at first. like amos said, one doesn't really forget how to cycle. or blade. or play the piano. just becomes rusty from lack of use of the skill.

daryl has taken to poking me cos of the various noises i make when poked.. this is vaguely reminiscent of serene's favourite hobby. not a good sign.

everyone keeps dwelling on the fact that i eat very little. i think it started from camp when my plate was usually quite empty due to the not-so-wonderful food at desaru. so anyway, today charm/daryl described my lunch as "2 grains of rice and a molecule of potato". during dinner jonathan said i was trying to distract them so i'd fling my chicken somewhere else n pretend i'd finished eating it. or fling it into daryl's plate and pretend "wah, daryl, u also never finish!"

there's some conspiracy among them to put me in the boot. cos there're always more than 4 pple when we go out, and only one car. so, in order to fit everyone in, the reasoning is as follows: the smallest (i.e. me) should go into the boot. as suggested by ruishan first, then cynthia, then jonathan. in the space of the afternoon, all at different times. i don't believe they heard each other really, which is even more terrifying. haha. -shakes head-

amusing pple.. although really, while i was in school i don't think i would have spent so much time going out.. so that's one thing to think about hmm.

ah, i just realised stanford's commencement address by steve jobs is in today's papers. roxy! haha.

haha, last week i had one cut on my left index finger. this week, i have cuts on my left middle finger, and right index n middle fingers. even though they're less deep cuts, but still.. sheesh. next time i need like fully-protected gloves to blade.

anyway, i had a good day! happy clar:) although it's on journeys (with no books to read) that one starts reflecting on many many things. not all of which are pleasant. e.g. i lead a very boring life at the moment.

haha.. thanks to ser for alerting me to peiying's newest blog post.. her projection into the future is a magnificent piece of work! i think only pple who were there will get the jokes though.. but that's the good thing too:D i'll remember all those things we talked about tonight.. i think it was quite a good turn out, happily for everyone:) usually i don't like gatherings with too many people cos half the time you don't get to talk to half of the people purely due to seating arrangements, but cos today we were at crystal jade la mian (yum!!) with a nice round table.. it was good!

i think next time we should only have gatherings at places with round tables. haha. when there're more than.. 6 pple. anyway.. everyone go read peiying's projection into the future! rofl. am quite looking forward to blading tmr, it's fun!! whee~ and blading on sunday again (i hope my legs won't drop off)

alright, i finally booked my air ticket. oh dear.. i think i'd better learn to get things done faster without my mom reminding me: anyway, leaving 18 sept morning. and will be back in dec, happily. haha.

i'm so sad paris lost. but somehow before i heard the results i already saw "london wins 2012 bid" in my head. weird huh.

ahh.. i found the movie review on the new paper website. i remembered correctly! the actor n actress for "be with you" fell in love on set. so it says. how sweet.. fairytale ending maybe.. haha.

anyway, on my mom's suggestion, which i finally decided to take up, i called up one of my previous job-agency-contacts. hopefully she gets me a good job, since nobody else seems to be replying to me. and it's so weird, yesterday i was at raffles place wondering if anyone was still working there and it seems like there's no one now.. whereas in april or so there were tons of pple around. i think i know why.. all the ernst n young pple disappeared. n chris n anna n lynette n kahli n ...

funny journey of emotions.
before really applying to US unis, excited about going overseas.
when applying, more worrying about the applications than anything else.
when results were out, joy! of course there was an element of shock/surprise.
while trying to decide whether to stay/go, huge dilemma.
after I made my choice, reluctance to leave. which became even more pronounced while filling up those famous 14 forms, because it was an indication of just how much stuff I'd have to do on my own there. and with the reluctance to leave came fear of independence.
now.. I don't really feel anything. maybe the excitement will reappear when I go shopping. haha. or maybe I need to go look at the bulletin. or when my housing stuff comes out.

there'll be so few people left to send me off! if I have a sending-off, in the first place.

wow i'm so tired. as usual. i think i'm going to sleep another 10 hrs man. haha. everytime I spend the whole day out that happens. and then mommy won't be happy when I wake up late n i'll get scolded. bleah. anyway, be with you is a very sweet show. albeit very sad. it reminded me a teeny bit of "turn left turn right" (supposedly-unrequited love, in a way) and also of "quill" (wringing out the sad bits).

i have 10 weeks left. and no air ticket yet. wish they could house me on 17th so i can leave on saturday. and the weirdest thing is that i don't know why i prefer sat to sun. maybe more pple'll be free? ah well. shall see what happens.

ZZzzzz

i think i had a quite a gd time overall:) though it was a looong day. and had nice dessert at marche! haha. yum. fat.

hum. i think i got more tanned (or burnt) today with 3 hours of walking/blading than 3 hours at wild wild wet on wed. but of cos it was threatening to rain on wed. and i have 2 knee-guard-strap-lines. quite gross. i hope i don't start peeling.

but it was fun! i think i did quite okay, given it was at least 8 years since I last bladed (and bladed for the 1st time) and 4 years since I last ice-skated (and also skated for the first time). but i think i'm v slow. bleah. unfit. haha. was really really thirsty after that though. and my legs were feeling weird.

ohhh and it was such a coincidence to meet darryl at the mrt:) heh if i hadn't been early i wouldn't have seen him. like, a few minutes after i came out of the control station, he came into the station. reminds me of how i saw yingheng while waiting for lyd/pam to go to wild wild wet.

anyway hope i have a nice day tmr! church n fellowship n prob going out w church pple again..

heh.. saw my churchmates in sch u and suddenly felt this stab of schoolsickness. yes, i know it's a self-concocted word. but well, wish I were still wearing my sch u. miss those days. days of not-wearing-sch-u makes one feel very old. and pining to turn back time.

and it's funny how you appreciate people/things much more when you know you have a limited amount of time with them. like wat peiying says, talking to pple u'll miss, remembering spore, ... i think that is exactly why i didn't enjoy my us trip so much. knowing that i'll be there for the next 4 years just makes me wanna stay here and revel in the delights of home. and sometimes it's really really really so much easier to stay here. okay i think when i get there i'll feel different (i had better) but right now... hmm.

owch. feeling bit battered. today was fun though:) although i was late. as usual. oops. not my fault they were fumigating.. walked frm somerset to city hall. haha. stopped at this fashion on the way for some aircon (and they have a nice skirt! though i don't really think i'll wear that sort of thing hmm.. i could though.. hmm somemore..) and ser msged to tell me she was starving and called me a "tasty dino"..

lunch at bk then mrt to pasir ris. where we waited for our dearest candice who forgot her phone and had to go home for it and fiona. for 1/2hr! i told ser they wud come at 2pm and i was right (of cos). and ser was complaining "why do u hafta be right" rofl. not my fault.

n wild wild wet! heh. i prefer fantasy island. but with the accidents, guess it wasn't possible to continue. and i'm just a wee bit more tanned i think:D haha. luckily the rain held off until we left..

i'm glad i get some time at home tomorrow. or so i think. hmm.

"the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page" - koped from hon's blog. interesting huh. it sounds familiar somehow.

okay. time for post on us embassy. mom gave me a lift there (happily)
and then i saw this line of people outside. in the sun.
took a while to register that it was the line to get into the embassy.
clar joins the queue. while fending off various flies and mosquitoes. ugh. and melting in the sun.
finally! after half an hour, get to go thru security check. and they take away my handphone. i'm sure there're going to be detonating devices in my phone..

take queue number. sit down and wait for my turn at counter 2, the only counter for walk-in visa applicants. heh so many pple got mistaken, cos the standing queue was very short, but the queue actually continued to the sitting pple. hopefully that makes sense. ah well.

so this lady sat down beside me, and then another guy sat down beside her after asking if that was the queue.. and she said yeah, it's like musical chairs (cos half the queue was standing and half sitting) so they started chatting.. and then later she asked "where're u studying?" and he said "stanford" and i was like "!!" haha.. talk about coincidence.. he's a transfer though.

and then later while i was at the counter (after one hour of waiting), i turned around and saw jane! !! lovely surprise:) anyway so waited with her, went to lunch at nydc.. yum:D love their posh spice baked rice. i still think i prefer rice to pasta:p oh well.

went home, happened to look out of the window at the bus stop at shell, and saw a fren. like, woah. wat are the odds that i meet 3 pple by coincidence today. oh we saw hanyan xiuming and xuanming in orchard too..

okay i need to get myself out of this happily-slacking mode. sigh.

i am very alarmed. i come home, check my email and find "stanford - forms overdue!" in my mailbox. it almost gave me a heart-attack, i must admit. my first thought was that their system screwed up. then when chris said something about forms being un-editable after submission, i realised something i forgot earlier on. cos i -ahem- accidentally wrote 12pm instead of 12am and asked them to change my forms, and they probably didn't do the amendment properly. @#$%^&*. i think i shouldn't have bothered, then there wudn't be so much trouble. crap. i hope it didn't compromise my "housing, roommate, advisor and IHUM assignments" which "have already started". well done..

on a happier note, today was a day of coincidences! but i need to go nap before i collapse so i shall blog abt the us embassy and coincidences later

i hate visas. i had better have everything and bring everything tmr if not i'm going to be very very annoyed. and it's just the start of doing everything on my own, like i was telling fiona today when doing the cashier's order. guess that's what the asean/prc scholars have been doing huh. hmm.

anyway, watched madagascar finally! it's quite cute la, though not -that- funny.. love the penguins:D the lemurs are funny too! and it was great catching up w adeline.. haven't seen her in ages. she's still so full of nonsense sometimes, some things never change.

you know it's time to sleep when:
1. you somehow manage to open two browsers of the same visa application form, fill in both while feeling a vague sense of deja vu, and not realise that you filled in the form twice until you've printed one form out.
of course, that might be also due to the fact that you've been filling in wrong things and having to redo the forms tons of times.
2. you fill up the 'city' field for your university as "Singapore", and again vaguely wonder why "Stanford University, Singapore" looks weird

i think my grandma has gone mad, she just asked me to play the piano so that her big sweep tickets will win. it was most alarming. she pointed at the numbers of two of her three tickets, and instructed me to play the piano so those two tickets would win. and there I was, very bemused, wondering what songs she expected me to play to coordinate with her ticket numbers. for a moment a crazy thought came to me, maybe I was supposed to match opus numbers with the numbers. erps.

somehow, what lydia said that day when I asked her why she thought I needed a blessed church camp comes back to me. "coz if u're anything like me, the past 6 months must have been hell". my reply was that it kind of slips off, I tend to forget most things after sleeping. not exactly forget, but the impact is lessened. and I really don't want to go through all that again.. how feasible is it anyway?

and my brother scolded me last night for not starting to find a job.

so this is how it's going to be.

so many things I'd like to say but are better left unsaid.

will I live up to expectations? how can I when I'm so directionless?

haha.. this is so funny.. came home from midweek service and found a dog at the lift.. it was actually quite scary, huge eyes and rather thin with black floppy ears.. mom's conjecture was that it was our neighbour's dog so she called "gypsy!" and it wagged its tail somemore and looked at up her.. didn't know if it was our neighbour's dog or if it was a stray.. i mean, if it had been a stray i wouldn't want to be touching it, nor would i want it to come anywhere near me.

so rang the neighbour's doorbell, neighbour opened the door and said oops! she didn't realise the dog escaped outside.. must have run out when they came back from swimming. most hilarious.. can misplace a dog and not realise. so my bro said, maybe cos the dog does its own thing (haha sounds like randy jackson) in the house quietly so they don't know when it's in the house or not.

haha darn, i was just going to say if anyone doesn't know what to get me for bday present i want a josh groban cd but now i realise i won't even be here for my bday. how depressing.

hmm. i had the queerest dream.. i think i must watched too many action movies lately. i vaguely remember escaping from somewhere or other and this nifty little vehicle that could fly. okay there's no use describing it, i realise. it's an image in my mind. it's really cute and small and can take off and stop quite fast.

and i can't decide whether i should get a laptop or not! since i'm going to get a desktop. nyam.

oh i finally went back to sch to get cert today.. heh raphael n shaun haven't gotten their certs yet. anyway, so coincidental, met mr chan ty and sara ho. pleasant surprises!

hmm mr and mrs smith was quite cool haha. but ending is anticlimatic. i like the way angelina jolie's more pro than brad pitt.. girl power! 312 pple vs 50/60 pple; "are u ready?" "yeah" she yanks the driving wheel, the car swerves, he goes off balance n she does all the shooting. and when he's trying to get the hostage to talk and she uses the phone to hit him n he talks straight away. haha. very action-packed. in fact, mainly action. with a plot like having 2 assasins who're in fact a couple, it's rather to be expected. but anyway it was quite fun/funny:)

journeys are good for thinking/sleeping. even though they're vastly different activities.

my favourite part of carly fiorina's commencement address to North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University this year:
"Never sell your soul - because no one can ever pay you back.What I mean by not selling your soul is don't be someone you're not, don't be less than you are, don't give up what you believe, because whatever the consequences that may seem scary or bad -- whatever the consequences of staying true to yourself are -- they are much better than the consequences of selling your soul.
What you are today is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God."

actually i like her whole speech, saw it on xuwen's blog, but it's actually on the businessweek online website too.
anyway, although the selling your soul part sounds super idealistic (that's probably why it appeals to me haha) maybe it is idealism that earns satisfaction.

wow was really so tired last night. but it felt good! at least i can sleep in peace. from 11.30pm to 9.30am haha and then i fell asleep again from 11am to 1pm . clar has returned to being the queen of sleep. yeahh.. haha. oops.

oh and serene said my reading taste is very british. i.e. i read all the british authors' books while she reads american. i guess that's kind of true. i like brit humour! haha. like oscar wilde.

i think i had more to say but it's slipped my mind. hmm. another time then

a walk down memory lane. went ghim moh w mom n bro to eat lunch today.. drove past old rj. it broke my heart to see "NUS High School" there. okay i'm being melodramatic but i wish rj was still there. remembered all the trips to school in the car, worrying about whether i could remember my stuff for prelims/a's, the saturdays i had to drag myself out of bed to go for choir, the saturday afternoons we walked to ghim moh for lunch (and i'll terrorise poor candice by walking nxt to the drain so she'd keep worrying i'll fall in and try to drag me away but i'll obstinately walk even closer to the edge of the drain just to annoy her:p), the food at ghim moh, and then choir pracs, ...

okay i don't know why these reminiscences revolve around choir so much, i guess it made a very big part of jc life for me. guess it's the same for everyone who spent so much time with their cca-mates. and it reminds me of how my parents thought i needed to spend more time studying and not going for choir/joining choir wasn't a good choice. but i'm glad i joined anyway:) i think there is something in what ting said about how one would tend to regret things one didn't do more than those one did. but even then there probably was a purpose for choosing not to do the things one didn't do.

i'm kind of tired. it was a good meet-up though:) i haven't laughed so much in a long while.. i miss my laughing fits. which earned me one of my nicknames. happily, a semblance of my fits returned today, which is quite rare nowadays. wonder why. forgotten how to laugh? forgotten how to be silly and not care and just enjoy it? i'll miss them loads in sept and in the months to come.. it's easier to be jaded than to be happy. haha oh dear i realised how bad that sounds. reminds me of the sloth at the biodome.. fungus grows on it cos it moves so slowly. i think it's just my current mood. i certainly hope so, if not there is a huge problem.

Favourite quotes from Oscar Wilde

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris.

Fashion is merely a form of ugliness so unbearable that we are compelled to alter it every six months.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another.

I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

alright, so i'm not going to get my visa done just yet.. have to wait till it's 90 days before 26 sept. so crappy. oh well. means i'll have to do it nxt nxt week.

haiyah i have to go and look for a job again. hence starts the ranting once again. wat job? ugh. and i don't know if pple will employ me for less than 3 months unless i lie to them haha. or unless i do relief teaching. bah.

and i have lots of pple to meet up with! shall see lyd chris n hopefully kahli tonight, ser sometime nxt week, pam sometime on a friday night when i'm finally free.. lijia n joon n peiying sometime soon too. i really think i havent' seen peiying since dance night. and even then we didn't even eat together. and lijia too. okay my memory is quite bad but well. oh yes i'm also supposed to meet aud when she comes back. can get jiahui along too! lala. at least pple will start being jobless and more free now heh.

if anyone has any bright ideas on my next job please tell me:)

wow, this is the first time in many many days i've slept so much:) very satisfied, albeit a little woozy. fell asleep at 8pm yest, woke up at 6+, went back to sleep till 10. yay!:p

and i have discovered the quotes from the first month of j1.. they're hilarious! here's my all-time favourite..
context:
Ms Eva Hor was lecturing us on water, and giving an example of how water is incompressible (and therefore able to support large aquatic animals) "The whale is the largest mammal and it lives in water."
Raphael (who had obviously taken a dislike to her) "She wins the whale because she lives on land and she's the largest mammal"

I think it's the way he said it that's so funny.. "she wins the whale" I really think all his future patients will love going to him..

anyway church camp.. the girls rather surprised me a little. as in, they had a lot to say about other people. and i helped with the children's class! haha. some of them have perfected the ability to drive pple mad.. guys who don't stop talking (esp at the top of their voices), girls who are petty and don't stop complaining.. but there're nice cute kids too of course.

i'm quite glad i went, except for the fact that i got cornered by the visiting preacher.. who so coincidentally happens to be based in california. i got introduced to him because pple found out i'm going stanford so i'm quite obliged to go to that congregation unless he miraculously forgets about me. dunno whether that's good or bad also.. it takes like 1.5h to get there from stanford. i guess we'll see what happens.. luckily the girls rescued me the second time i got cornered cos they wanted to take photos. haha.

yeah! finished all my forms! woohoo~ haha i was quite high after that. anyway i still haven't finished packing oops. nevermind.. off i go.. first time to msia (hahaha yes i noe i'm the champion) be back on thurs afternoon.. hope i don't forget to pack anyth!

haha. lunch at this restaurant near my old house was funny. the waitress brought the bill, my dad was holding his credit card, getting ready to look at the bill and then place it in the black thingy (whatever it's called). and then the waitress (old lady) just took the card and the bill away before my dad looked at the bill. i've never seen pple do things like that.

and just now i took a nap (had to, given the 3 hours in the morning. and i finally fell asleep and had quite a gd nap!) and my mom woke me up at 7. i opened my eyes, looked at the time, couldn't figure out whether it was night/morning (it was semi-dark), started panicking because my first thought was that it was morning and i was supposed to go for camp and i hadn't finished my forms. "is it morning or night?" mom was very amused "night" clar heaves a huge sigh of relief. k i don't know why i immediately thought it was morning. maybe cos it felt like a gd long sleep. but it was sufficiently alarming to wake me up.

yay i shall get this done fast so i can sleep more later haha

sigh. so I slept at 3am and woke up at 6.20am. and was unable to return to dreamland. someone tell me I won't fall asleep in church later.. I think I'm going to be a walking zombie.

augh. there is something severely wrong with me. i'm tired yet i can't sleep. okay i managed to after quite a long while, but still. so i ended up sleeping frm 3 - 9.30am then 3 - 8pm. really really weird huh.. it so does not help that i have 14 forms to fill online by tmr (sorry to those i've been whining to) and being as indecisive as I am, you get the idea. Plus I've to write one essay to get into the dorm I want to stay in, and another one so that they can assign me a nice roommate. and answer the advisor's questionnaire which has questions like "please write a brief statement telling us how/when/under what circumstances you feel you came of age, intellectually." now isn't that fantastic?

i'm halfway through the dorm essay, hardly started the roommate/advisor ones and i have to finish all this stuff by tomorrow plus i have to pack for church camp. ugh. i think my holiday wasn't at a very good timing? or maybe i've just been wasting too much time as usual.. feeling very impatient at the moment grr.

oh my whole family has been sleeping at weird times. yesterday they all fell asleep by 9pm and I was the only one awake until ~3am then they all woke up and I went to sleep. crazy huh. okay brother has woken up haha it's time for dinner.

touched down at 5.30am.. i think i slept maybe 3 hours at most haha. watched 6 shows. okay watched 2 of them halfway cos i didn't like them.. robots is actually quite good! bigweld is so cute and round haha. and the express train is crazy.. throwing the passengers all over the place. but the whole concept is quite cool. watched million dollar baby which was quite tragic.. didn't really expect the ending. but can see why it's an oscar winner, even though i hated hilary swank's accent. and i didn't really like hitch/wedding date, their plots are rather unbelievable and undevelopped.

right. oh i visited yale n princeton! so i've seen all the powerhouse unis haha. anyway, i think princeton is really pretty! a lot of greenery and it's separate from the city/town area unlike yale/mit/harvard. but it has some ugly buildings too. yale has an old-world charm. the architecture. i must go find out which period the architecture was from.

i can't remember what else i wanted to say. oh i came back n slept 7 hours, not enough. i must go fill up my numerous forms. can you believe i have to write 2 more essays.. okay the roommate one isn't really but still. and find 7 photos! argh.

hijacked my bro's comp while he's off delivering presents/cards. hmm. imagine living in spore for 18 years, pulling up your roots (not totally, but in a sense) going to usa for 4 years (and putting down new roots) and then plucking them out again to return to spore. a little unsettling maybe? i have no idea. and lousy dbs has just sent me their rejection email after dunno how long.. totally wu liao.

i think i'm going mad. while i was in j1/j2 i couldn't see myself attending college anywhere but in US, and now that i'm going i don't want to go anymore. this is like reverse psychology. and my bro told me i'd better learn to embrace everything different (cos i said i didn't like mexican food/eating sandwiches for lunch all the time). okay this is really disjointed. random thoughts. it must be because i haven't fillen out those approaching stanford forms and will have to immediately get down to it when i get back. fedex package! argh.

anyway we're watching a boston pops concert tonight! should be good:) the weather is quite hot now.. albeit kinda windy esp towards evening. it's practically singapore temperature thanks to the sun.. (and no clouds)

somehow i don't think i'm enjoying this holiday as much as i should be. kinda weird. maybe it's cos i know i'm leaving in sept so i want to make the most of the time at home. maybe it's cos we didn't really plan for this hol so it's rather aimless sometimes. yet i don't think i'm going to enjoy going back to work haha:p or searching for work, for that matter. church camp should be fun though.. nonsense-talking time:)

all sorts of mixed feelings.

am leaving for lake george/saratoga in a few minutes i think. haha. anyway, i'm so sad! i checked the cirque du soleil website the night before leaving and still didnt realise corteo was showing here.. it's their newest show. i guess cos i intended to watch it in san francisco in nov or dec.. ah well. so didn't get to watch it here. tragic:(

weather's improving! yay. there was this little girl who tried to shoot me with a balloon-gun.. was quite funny. and another one was holding her little dog out of the window so its head stuck out at all the pple who walked by.

right i think i'm supposed to go eat breakfast

haha i'm finally here in my bro's room. it's a rather queer shape. and he has 2 huge dogs! so cute:) but he's going to throw them away:( tragic. so i took a photo of them first heh. anyway, flight was alright, was attempting to "sleep" for around 6 hours. watched 4 movies - coach carter, racing stripes, spanglish, monsters inc, didn't finish the last one i watched which was some french show. the plane is really quite spacious, wish all flights could be like that. but somehow i still can't sleep. what to do. unfortunately the kris world entertainment kept having problems, was really quite annoying, esp when it's SIA. tsktsk. oh met my buddy at airport cos he ponned sch to study there haha wat a coincidence;)

right it's like 2am n i should probably go sleep.. took like 4 hours to drive here frm newark airport. and we stopped at the same mcdonalds as the last time we came to visit my bro! funky.

okay.. 8 hours to flying off.. non-stop flight! haha. i hope i don't get bored. which is why i'm still awake at this unearthly hour: the plane seats had better be more comfortable than average.. and i still haven't figured out which broadway show to watch. shall go there and see what happens:p

i watched the american idol finals just now! wonder who'll win. i like carrie though. partly cos she's sort of the underdog. n of cos she's a girl:) and it was nice not having commercials for once:p

right i think i need to finish packing my bag.. the luggage is done i think. wow i can't believe my brother is actually coming back.. 4 years have seemingly passed so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. wait i'm not even sure if that makes sense.. and i'll be gone for the same period of time. like lydia says, not much time to spend with bro (in her case, sis).

whoever didn't see me online.. i'm off to US frm 26th may to 8th june.. coming back in the wee hours of the morning or something like that. if i have the time/connection i may blog! haha. or go online. it depends on availability. and also the cost.. so, people whom i haven't seen in a loong while (e.g. peiying), meet up when i get back!

ah. i am trying to upload photos. anyway, i was most absent-minded today. paused at the door, thought i'd brought everyth along, happily went off to bus stop, boarded the bus. fiddling around with phone when i realised i'd forgotten something! ahh. so annoyed. and ended up late:( well the sequence didn't really go that way but it was an indirect consequence i think? duno. anyway, i stopped at the fire station and saw a monkey!! it really reminded me of the one i saw at the zoo. by the name of cargo. albeit a leaner version, but looked like the same breed.

at first i spotted it on the lower part of the overhead bridge. then it jumped into one of the trees nearby, and after a rustling of the branches, reappeared on the grassy floor (okay this is a terrible description but my brain isn't functioning very well after typing so many quotes and having so many more to go) and started eating a mango! so fascinating. i wish i had a camera with me. come to think of it i need a digicam. which can store lots of videos. time to go shopping again.. haha:p

just watched chocolat. i love the music! and johnny depp! haha. my all-time favourite actor. actually more like the only one. anyway, the town reminded me of italy! the basilica and the statue outside. i can see loreto in my mind. was that the townsquare? ah just checked the postcard. it's called virgin square. why, i can't imagine. but i remember me n candice sitting at the fountain eating pizza:) although it started getting kind of cold in the evening. ohhh i totally remember freezing on the first night we went to perform! (and falling asleep in the basilica thanks to jet lag) rofl. ahh. where are all my choirmates? suddenly miss them. okay i think i'm very capricious sometimes.

anyway the town reminded me of italy. because of the ancient architecture and what not. and then also of french/france. i wish it had been in french though haha. i'm so so rusty it's terrible. and my chinese is in a worse state i think. esp cos i haven't written in chinese for so long. ugh. i keep intending to go read some book to stem the decline but haven't gotten round to it. as usual.

and today i saw caneles! at bakerzin. (as lyd says, what a poseurish name) anyway, reminded me of immersion too. i think cheukka agrees with me that it's horrible:p although it's supposed to be an acquired taste. which i evidently have not acquired. oh it's a bordeaux speciality. ohh ser if you read this, do you remember the almond-shaped thing monsieur yong let us try? i think it was almond paste with some marzipan/icing on top. so yummy. i forgot the name though:(

alright. very reminiscient-ish time tonight. okay and i also need to go sleep soon
one of my other favourite quotes:
Voici mon secret. Il est très simple : on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
(It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.)
I prefer the french version. anyway, it's by Antoine de St. Exupery. from The Little Prince.

suddenly, i'm very scared. after talking to one of my seniors just now about courses and rooming and blah, the enormity of it has just dawned on me. and it's overwhelming. i'll definitely have a roommate. not that it's a bad thing exactly but it's just different. like i was telling serene it's so different from everything we've gone through so far.. it's like everything has been planned out, just follow the system without thinking - the "default" path (like they said during my med interview)

and then now i have to plan 4 years' worth of courses (which don't even stay constant, which makes it even harder) and i have no friends going with me. actually, i suppose most people don't, but still.. i like solitude sometimes but it still seems rather daunting to be alone to face so much new stuff. i know seniors who're already there and some of the people who'll be matriculating this year but.. okay i have a lot of "buts" today. fitting in alone may or may not be easier. and how americans are all so confident. (and loud). stereotypically.

and then arranging with my bro to get some of his stuff n etc.. i'll probably have to go and buy a bike if not i'll never get to classes on time. and make sure it doesn't get stolen haha.

i guess it's just a very huge transition. luckily i leave later than most people.. still have time heh.

well well well.. looks like the decision has been made for me anyway. rather relieved in a sense although there's this sneaking feeling of laziness. i mean, if they'd accepted me i probably wouldn't have stayed, but i would still have to spend a little more time deliberating. so, stanford here i come! haha. woohoo~ finally i can concentrate.

anyway star wars was quite cool.. although i really cannot remember what the first episode was about (it was the only one i watched, way back in sec 1 or sth.. with yingling n chris i think?) and it's so tragic that anakin became so ugly (as darth vader). totally gross.

i wonder if my parents/brother are unhappy with what happened. oh well.

ah, i suddenly remembered i forgot to talk about class outing haha. saw pple i haven't seen in quite some time.. and mrs kwan came! yay. i was telling her how we missed her in jc cos there was nobody to care about us haha. she doesn't look any different actually. oh yes agree with chris that the calamari rings were v nice. so was the ice cream haha. audry horrified at shiqin's green fingernails and berating jiahui for her taste in food was funny.

and i'm so tired. oh wait something lijia said is so true, when you stay at home all day you feel even more lethargic. day is filled with eating and sleeping. haha. and i kinda wish i didn't buy the quidam dvd cos now i don't think i want to spend extra $$ watching it live but still!! aahh.

yesterday my brother told me i ought to be thinking about the nus-stanford thing every day, and i was like "wat?? do you want me to go mad?" and he said "no you won't.. and you need to uless you're going to make the decision in a day". which is true i suppose. but of course if i don't get in here there's nothing to think about haha. anyway, that's why my description has been changed to "currently very confused clar". alliteration!

i think i'm a little out of sorts today.

right i never posted about my last day. oh well. i spent the afternoon+evening reading gerald durrell bks in the library:p didn't manage to finish the last one though! (i.e. i only finished one and half of the other one) wat to do, couldn't read fast enough .haha.
played taboo with b10, one of them was like "satay is ___" and another one said "fried". i was trying to mark this essay which was handed up late and choked when i heard that.

oh and i met one of my students at cine today! haha. fiona was v amused. and said i'm shorter than them -grr- not my fault lah.. aiyah. anyway usually they're sitting down and i'm standing up so there..

oh yes i bought a v nice shirt yesterday at a gd price so i'm v happy:) think heartlands are better for shopping.. and i have a new pair of shoes! they feel a bit funny though somehow.. even though they're nice and comfortable. hmm.

tomorrow i have nothing to do. mom wants me to find a job until next thurs.. how possible is that? aiyah. i don't know what i want to do also. everything has its gd n bad points.

so tired. heh today was last lesson with arts class.. one of them asked "will you miss us?" and i said "of course" and another one said "she's lying". anyhow, i'll miss the nonsense the front row ppl spouted.. they're so funny.. and at least they talked during lessons, made my life easier in a way. very likeable crowd in any case. although i don't think they learnt very much from me somehow.

and i realised i still have essays to mark. oops. i think i get very distracted sometimes. it's really painful reading the not-so-good ones sometimes, i can't even figure out whether they answered the question or not. or maybe that's cos i read too many essays. dunno lah, and those i have left are mostly tmr's 1st class.. means i have to finish them fast! aah!

i wonder if what i read defines me, or i define what i read. okay that probably doesn't make sense. cos i was reading stuff about my zodiac (somehow i find it quite fun) and i agree with some things but not others. right i don't think i'm making much sense, should probably get off and go sleep/mark essays if possible:

augh. i'm feeling so guilty. there're supposed to be 2 sm2 scholars in one of my gp classes and i kept forgetting to go and ask the cts why they didn't turn up. and now it's like 2 more weeks and the teacher is coming back.. die.. but aiyah this is jc after all shouldn't they be responsible for themselves.. okay i'm just pushing the blame to them. ugh.

haha it's the last 2 days of school and i already don't feel like going. and why do they have to leave tmr as thurs timetable?? i planned for the original monday timetable lah!! ahh. now i have no idea how to entertain my arts class for 1h40. groan.

ow. i hope i don't get bruises tomorrow. anyway, today, in the morning, i had a huge shock when someone called "clarissa" while i was walking to class. first reaction: hmm, i don't think any of my students remember my name. anyway, turned around to see HOD. right, so what could he possibly have to say to me? the teacher whom i'm replacing is coming back this sat! (okay either i wasn't thinking straight or his phrasing was really weird cos i was quite puzzled at first)

and i wonder when he was going to tell me if he hadn't met me in the corridor today. hmm. anyway, i'm glad i don't have to plan somemore lessons, but of course i'll be stoning around for the nxt 1.5 weeks. (without pay). haha. i'll be glad not to wake up at 7+ though.. out of habit i actually did that on saturday.. was so annoyed with myself!:(

anyway today was a 1/3 day! haha. reward for gd syf results. ended at 11.40 but lyd came over to get something frm me so i ended up staying till 3.30 to mark/plan lessons. it was really gd to see lyd anyhow, she's so cute n amusing heh. whined about how long it took to walk to nj main gate (i totally empathise) and then later complained that the ice kachang didn't have enough red beans. and took forever to decide what to eat.. and came into the staffroom and laughed at my students' essays. that's one thing i'll kind of miss, actually. while marking is rather tedious sometimes there are the highlights of the day.

latest quote from student's essay (i must add that i was quite, quite aghast): A television has a hidden function which is quite similar to the general function of a vacuum cleaner, except that vacuum cleaners suck up the dirty stuffs while televisions "suck" out the "soul and spirit" of many people, changing them into couch potatoes. (at this point, i wrote "they have no soul/spirit?? oh dear")

haha this is SO funny i had to blog it.. quote from my student's essay:
"there were incidents whereby young children, misguided by the idea of supernaturality, jumped off buildings in an attempt to fly like their childhood heroes, to eventually end up with a death worse than that of most birds that fly in the Birdpark"
(of course i corrected all the grammar and etc already)

so i wrote at the side "do they die a very horrible death most of the time?"

hahaha. i wonder what she was thinking.. maybe that the birds get chopped up and sent to the zoo for food. although it's probably just the association with flying things.

from the far side:
cow-seeking-advice consults cow guru, who dispenses the following advice: "And, as you travel life's highway, don't forget to stop and eat the roses."
haha. i like deadpan humour.

anyway, mom was showing me stuff me/my bro wrote last time.. which just proves my point that guys are more amusing than girls mostly. i remember all the stories i wrote were about fairies/goblins/horses/dogs etc.. the fairytale wonderland. i think i must've read too much enid blyton. or maybe fairies just appealed to me because of their perfection. and of course my stories always had the requisite happy endings. i realised watever i wrote about reflected my idea of a happy life i.e. one horse and one dog per person and having a huge field to keep the animals in and playing with them every day.

i just remembered something i thought about last year. how i'm afraid i'll forget how to see things from a child's point of view. as it is as a teacher i've forgotten how it's like to be a student. until junming reminded me. that was for when i was teaching phys at rj but still..
i'm also afraid i'll lose my sense of humour (if i had much of it to begin with) and grow pokey and stiff and prim and proper as i get older. it's not such a unprobable scenario when you think about it. we've already lost so much innocence/candour so far and it's only been like two decades..

okay now for amusement, here's a gem that i dug up from secondary school days.

context: along the road outside rgs there are (or were?) two signboards, on either side of the main gate. parents' cars are not allowed to enter the school, students are supposed to alight either before the 1st signboard or after the 2nd. prefects stand at these signboards making sure everyone alights in the accepted zone.
so, one day my mom stopped her car - part of it was in front of the 2nd signboard and part of it was behind. so i alighted, in front of the 2nd signboard, and promptly got booked.
a booking entitles you to a visit to the RTC. unfortunately, its full name has slipped my mind. ah, chris has just enlightened me - Responsible Thinking Classroom. i totally forgot! anyway, at the RTC, one is supposed to design a plan to avoid committing the same offence.

here is my plan. (and no, i didn't submit this, it was just something done for fun at home, with the help of my brother, mostly. i can't remember if my parents contributed suggestions)

1. Next time I’ll crawl to the front seat and get out
2. I’ll make the space between the front seat wider so that it’ll be easier to crawl through. Or better still, I’ll hack down the whole front seat! Then I can just walk through
3. I’ll sit on the bonnet
4. Revamp the car so that the driver’s seat is behind
   -- Changing the car will take around 2 to 3 years so you will have to wait
5. Stretch my leg as far as possible so that it reaches the sign and step out.
   -- Getting my legs to be long enough will take around 5 years and by that time I’ll be out of RGS
6. I’ll train to run fast like Carl Lewis, then I’ll stop in between the 2 signs and sprint to school so that the SLs and PITs and Prefects cannot catch me. It will also train me for my 2.4 km run, so that I will not have to keep re-running till I get a c.
7. Open the door before the sign, say ‘oops’ to the prefects, then drive on and get out
8. Crawl to the front seat, get out, go to the back seat, and get bag out
9. If my car were smaller then I would have gotten out before the sign. Unfortunately, big cars are needed to contain more people so I am afraid it is not my fault.
10. My father says that only traffic police can put up signs on the road because it is the main road
11. My whole family thinks that I should just throw the slip away and not go for RTC
12. Next time, I’ll stop there, and my mother will come out and push the sign back so that I can alight
13. When I alight there, I’ll make sure no one is looking

time to complain abt med interview! man, just wanted to think "screw them, i'm going stanford". okay that isn't a very nice way of putting it but they really pissed me off. i think i get worked up too easily. i mean, the 1st interview started late (5-10mins) cos they just came back frm lunch break. and then there was one caucasian guy, one chinese lady, one indian guy. the first two were really annoying. the lady kept grimacing at me, and the guy kept raising an eyebrow at me (maybe there was something wrong with his facial muscles but i doubt it). like looking totally cynical at whatever i said.. i'm like, if you can't even bother to look polite don't come and interview pple.. but again i hear the psc pple sleep, which is even worse/just as bad.

whatever it is i still think it's basic courtesy to accord some respect to the interviewee.

oh and this takes the cake. upon looking thru my resume again the indian guy asked "do you have time to play?" and i'm wondering "play?" and the chinese lady went "yeah, play, don't you know the meaning of the word 'play'?"
lyd said it was amusing but really, when i was in there it wasn't. it was rather rude the way she was so sarcastic. i told them i was rather puzzled by there being zero context.. anyway pple don't normally phrase it in such a weird way. whatever it is, i regret not telling them off. mom reminded me about how i could use sarcasm.. darn. i'm too rusty.. my so-called "caustic wit" (if i had any to start with) has flown! augh.

anyway, i've realised it is definitely not a good idea to write unconventional things in personal statements for spore unis cos they immediately jump on it and attack you. so much for singapore being open and embracing creativity and whatever other crap.. okay i think i'm probably not being very rational at the moment.. it is the job of interviewers to put you in a spot.

watever, i shall go do something else and unwind.. haha.

haha, i was just marking one of my students' essays and the topic was "Travel is an education in itself. Comment." quote from his essay "... Thus, it can clearly be said that travel is an education in itself. (next paragraph) Why so, you ask? What knowledge of any sort can possibly be garnered from travels? If you are guilty of asking these queries, then it is obvious what your idea of education is." so I showed it to jieying and asked her opinion. and she said something along the lines of how it would be a gd idea not to piss off the examiners.. haha.

yay! today's last (okay, 2nd and last) lesson is cancelled cos the j1s are off to visit ocs.. i desperately need the time to prep for interview, methinks.

hahaha.. i just had a very amusing time. jieying showed me one of her students' essays.. which consisted of 10 hypothetical characters.. (the topic was: in what ways can lying be justified) and he even named most of them! and then later willa was telling us one of her students tried to define "television" in his essay.. we couldn't stop laughing.. man.. i didn't think such things happen in JC. oh a quote from one of the essays "james' pocket money was running very quickly". i'm sure it could have won an olympic sprint!

ow. feeling battered. anyway, i just realised i met 2 guys who answered, upon my asking how old they were, "how old do you think i look?" i thought it was only girls who did that, but apparently not. maybe it is really a singaporean/asian thing to look younger than one's age, like m. kalife said.

and my interview's on friday! i really hate interviews la. ugh. esp preparing for them. and of cos the real thing too. and the aftermath. okay that's like everything about them. and i still have to figure out to make sure my gp lessons are vaguely interesting. which seems like impossible. or else a lot of work.

not much to say today. and i actually suddenly thought of the phrase "i've been waiting for you all my life" on the way home.. dunno why, just remembered it from a song/book. but have decided to remove it as a blog title bcos dearest ser says it sounds like i'm attached. blah. anyway, yes i shall get off soon.. yay i like my new blog template:) even though it's koped. haha.

"I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." - Oscar Wilde

I love that quote. haha. no, let me correct myself, i love oscar wilde.. he has such sardonic wit. i hope that's the correct adjective. somehow i'm sure there's a better way to describe it.. excellence use of irony? i wonder if there's such thing as ironic wit. anyway, this is why i like "the importance of being earnest" haha. among the rest.

i'm in a happier mood today yay:)

lunch w pam n joon was nice:) i should've eaten dessert though.. oh well. must get used to feeling poor. it's always lovely to meet up:) however, there're always awkward silences. it's kind of like, whatever we've shared is in the past, and now everyone's doing different stuff.. or maybe it's just me. i know a lot of people have been reflecting on what friendships are built on. it is nice to find out what everyone else is/has been doing.. okay i'm going off track, can think about that another time - i gotta plan lessons! ahh.

oh dear. i wanted to say something but forgot. anyway, i got back maybe 1/2hr ago. so tired! but it was quite a gd dinner.. surprisingly didn't feel that full, i must be getting fat: anyway, i coincidentally met lijia at topshop! while i was trying to get the tag removed from my shirt.. my dad ah.. haha i asked him to get me a shirt frm las vegas and the guy in the shop didn't remove the tag! and dad didn't realise.. oh well. he's trying to remove the tag now haha.

for the record, my dad bought me 2 bags frm vegas:D his taste is actually quite good, and it also saves me the trouble of buying my own bags:p i think i take forever to buy stuff.

anyway, yeah, then chris arrived.. and lyd.. and we waited like 10mins (luckily it wasn't the predicted 1/2hr) and got table.. then puee came along.. i haven't seen puee in ages! gd thing chris asked her to come:) and we heard a number of stories abt rgs.. i miss rg.. drove past the sch a few times in the past week and was just reliving those days in my mind. and puee seems to be the only one enjoying the time-btwn-end-of-jc-and-uni so much so that she doesn't want to go back to sch.. while the rest of us all prefer it. i guess there're pros and cons.

shall branch off for a moment. what i like abt now: no homework! (haha well, sort of. that's a huge plus) i just feel more free to do whatever i want.. well of course there's the problem of earning my keep, but besides that.. everything's my choice.

what i don't like abt now: end up doing mostly brainless stuff/having to find something meaningful... as in compared to in sch, everything's set out for you, just follow the system. go do your ccas, study for tests/exams, ace them, ... don't have to think about getting a job/what job to get/etc

yeah anyway, later jane came along.. her law interview questions were hilarious.. actually on 2nd thoughts it's the way that she recounted them that was so amusing..

and we met the interact club pple! so cool, were sitting at starbucks outside (my main complaint: a LOT of cigarette smoke, which i simply can't stand) and i was idly staring at the glass pane and saw dearest fiona! haha. so called her, they came out to talk to us.. hwying stayed on to talk.. i also haven't met her in a long time. not that i was close to her to start with.. but well, it's always nice to meet fellow-geppers.

so, ended up talking until 11.45 when mom called and i realised that oh no, there's no bus/mrt left! sharks. so much for spore with a bustling nightlife.. rather contemptuous of it. okay that's a rather strong word.. but i don't know how to say it.. ahh. my lack of vocab is very disturbing.

okay i'm really tired.. shall give up. and somehow, when me n chris got to city hall, the only trains left were going to kranji/pasir ris. so weird.