sigh i'm so tired. and not physically, although i'm aching a bit heh. well this sounds familiar. i think i dream too much. the idealist. the perfectionist. whatever. one thing my mom pointed out, i think i expect too much from my students. they are j1s after all..
was talking to jieying and shuying today. haha so cool! their names end with -ying. shuying wanted to own a farm too! haha:p anyway, yeah, now i realise how hard it was to teach my class (rj class). it really sucks when nobody wants to say anything, or when only the same people keep talking (although now i'm glad that at least -some- of them talk)
yeah and my head hurts. maybe cos i didn't fall properly. nevermind. i don't want to see the class tmr. how i wish i could retreat somewhere. far from the maddening crowd. when i don't have to worry about anything. of course that's just the easy way out. okay i'm just exaggerating as usual, nothing is bad as it seems.. media player current song: when you believe by mariah carey + whitney houston. i need a lot of miracles right now.
crap, the more people ask me abt why i walked out, the worse i feel/the more tired i feel. and it just serves to remind me of my incompetence. or laziness to go tackle problems. whatever. so so tired. at least meeting nice people makes my day. but i'm still tired. and my worsening eyesight is no help.
well, guess what. today i totally lost it and walked out of class. it was almost the end of the block though, luckily. and of all classes it was my arts class, which I thought was the easiest to teach cos they'd be more talkative n discuss more. evidently not. maybe they think i'm a lousy teacher so don't bother to do stuff properly. anyway i think i shall be prudent and not say much more here, will tell you more if you ask me personally. some things are better left unsaid. or said to less people.
time to write law statement. suddenly i feel a teeny bit blue. light shade of azure. oh on the bus back frm sch i was absent-mindedly gazing at the rgps girls (and nygh girls) and thinking about rg days. kind of miss wearing the pinafore and all.. nostalgia. but had my fair share of problems/annoyances/what not there. i think i will go back there on 16th may. nj holiday due to college day on 14th. at least i think it is.
i'm SO glad it's a long weekend this week.. but first i have to get through friday though, haven't even prepped for interview:( groan. let alone prepared my lessons! crap. i mean i have an idea of what i want to do but to prepare the stuff for it is another thing. i'll do it tomorrow while waiting for the afternoon block.. i really wanted to give up this morning, thankfully my other 2 classes were rather more cooperative. really don't think i'm cut out for this.
ah. clar is feeling very bitter. actually not that i didn't expect it.. just got rejection letter from gic. but again i wasn't very sure i wanted to spend my life looking at numbers. *shrug* but still, so much for "oh u got into stanford, scholarships will be that much easier now". haha. evidently i'm not very suitable anyhow. the way "nobody has heard of me before". okay i don't think i'm making sense. besides that, i should probably go analyse my performances. but how'd i know what's the ideal situation? hmm. i'll think about that tmr maybe.
so, i wanted a scholarship to sponsor me overseas, to give me a job, to give me an allowance thruout the 4 years. i didn't want one cos i'm not sure of my career plans. yeah okay that is certainly not balanced. but of course that one reason for not wanting it may outweigh the rest? don't know!
anyway, i'm glad they were prompt in sending the email. at least now i kind of know what to do. or what i have to do. oh yes i don't think i complained about how weird my interview was. i.e. only one interviewer and in e middle of the interview her phone rang and she said something cropped up and had to rush off for a while.
besides that, i'm glad for today. it's always fun, albeit painful: it kinda gives me a reason to stay here. but actually i'll probably be too busy to continue. dunno lah. to give up stanford for nus? but of course i have to get into nus first. and i also know jiahui will kill me for not going to her dream school. i think this will end up the way i thought about doing a level french. i.e. i'll somehow fund myself there. so i'm not asking for sympathy or comfort, this is just to complain for the sake of it/think about stuff.
on last thoughts, i think i don't have enough passion for anything. i mean, when i look at serene and her ardour for mit (thus leading to everything she knows about it), i'm like wow. while i just sit back and relax. it's actually quite bad. and probably cost me a lot.
and to add to my despair, i'm not even sure i can discuss the gp essay questions properly with my class! groan. okay i should stop digging the pit deeper for myself. shall go and eat a cookie. haha.
mm. feel a sense of calm. peace. don't know how come. maybe cos gic interview is over (and wasn't particularly fantastic, but let's just hope for the best).
ahh. and i just read some stuff on law/med interviews, totally freaked out again. yay. oh speaking of today's med test.. i didn't like the essay topic.. and didn't really write properly either oh well. and then talking to siewjin just reminded me.. they're unbelievably stupid lah.. okay that's a bit too abusive.. they're very inefficient.. i mean, common sense would tell you to give out the answer sheet with the psychometric test booklet to save time, esp when there're 600+ candidates. and then the index numbers were put in such a way that the pple had to walk up one column and then go back down and start from the front (whether collecting or giving out test booklets). even then, one could just take the booklets from the number at the end and give out instead of walking up and down. okay i hope i haven't turned incoherent at this point.
and then the hall was divided into two sections.. there's a table in the middle (for the 2nd section) and at one end (for the 1st section). the test papers were ALL on the end table, so some of the invigilators had to carry the papers for the 2nd section to the middle table. like, why can't you just put it there before everything starts and stop wasting our time..
haha okay i finished ranting. but really, their idiocy astounds me. or maybe i'm being overly critical.. as usual.. anyway i was mouthing complaints at candice:p she was one column away from me in the same row.. yaozong too! on the other side.. and monmon was in the nxt column one seat behind.. and kumar a few seats in front of mon.. quite cool:D
i forgot if i blogged this.. but just remembered one of my students said he wanted to eat roasted zebra on thurs.. and decided that he thought zebra should taste quite nice, if not lions wouldn't chase them. so cute. so one of the girls was like.. luckily u weren't noah or there'll be no animals left. i was thinking pile of bones left when the flood subsides.. haha.
i really think i'm going a bit mad. first i wasn't happy. then i got high on hakuna matata or something. and now i miss french immersion (and all the nonsense that yunlei/kai/cheukka were spouting). talking to cheukkie abt the trip now.. so many funny memories. i'm so glad i got to know her.. funny gal:) and i was just complaining to her sometimes i suddenly feel so indescribably lonely. and she's like "orh.. i also.. so get a bf lo" rofl. like so easy to get like that. by mail order. okay that's not really something to joke about, given that it actually exists as a serious thing.
right i'm supposed to be writing my personal statement, don't know why i ended up here unburdening myself. my philosophy is that if i don't unburden myself i can't write! haha. convenient excuses.
oh! i can't remember if i posted the funny things i saw on simpsons (quite a long time ago)..
the simpsons' house suddenly sank into the ground. and some guy frm a building company came to check with a spirit level. he placed it on top of one of the walls, and it immediately slid down the wall and crashed. homer "did you see the bubble?"
english teacher "are you ready to take your make-up english test?" (the first time he missed it cos he feigned a stomachace)
bart, doubling over in pain, "oww.. my ovaries.."
i think i should watch more episodes to amuse myself. but they aren't always funny. somehow the ones i watch with my brother are always hilarious. miss him lots too. i guess like lyd said (she's in the same situation with her sis graduating this year) it's not so good to go away when your elder sibling comes back. sigh. what a mess. i only wish i knew what to do.
i hate interviews. really. and i can never say the right things. or rather, i can learn from saying the wrong things, but end up saying even more wrong things. it doesn't seem like i'll ever exhaust them all and it also doesn't seem like i'll end up at stanford. so much for getting in!
anyway i need to complain somemore, i'm only 18, how am i supposed to know what my career aspirations are? don't people change? i've heard of so many people who go to uni and totally switch majors. and even if i do get called back by gic, do i want to spend 6 years staring at numbers all the time? but i'm sure they look at other things besides numbers right.
i should just go and buy a farm. but again i don't like cleaning up either haha. talk about fussy. anyway, even if i go to uni w/o a scholarship, i'll have to go for job interviews after that. and sell myself again. oh, i'm such a wonderful person therefore you should hire me. interminable. i wonder what it's like to be an author.
on another note, i think bond (their music) makes me feel better when i'm not happy.
it's finally friday.. hardly realised it. must be cos of the wednesday-holiday. such a horrible day. week? i don't know. very mood-swingy this week i think. awful. and i have an interview lined up for each friday for the next two weeks. don't know about dbs. and two personal statements to write. okay i think i've said all that before.
i think it's my classes which keep me sane. at least i have something to look forward to.
speaking of which i need to try and be a better teacher.
it really never ends does it. always better, better, better. i'm very tired now really. and i don't mean physically.
upon glancing thru this again i realised how melancholic it sounds. but it's true. it's so much easier to ignore anything that matters and just go on every day but one day (or night) it just comes and stares you in the face and you want to scream. okay that last sentence i quoted from one of the anne books. childhood book, but there're little quotes which mean something. they mean something to me at any rate.
right i think i sound totally convoluted. ramble ramble ramble. but what else is a blog for, if not to vent frustrations? moo. feeling ambivalent.
right i'm totally stressed out (thanks to myself, i don't know what's wrong with me nowadays) and if i don't type something i'm going to explode soon.
so, i got my rejection letter frm sia yesterday, which kind of leaves me with 2 scholarships left.. and my gic interview is tmr and i haven't really prepped. and my mom was telling me i haven't been putting in enough effort. which i suppose is true to an extent. so, given that i only have 2 "lifelines" left (unless loke cheng kim miraculously calls me up, and i manage to convince them) i'm a wee bit desperate at the moment, given my tendency to screw up interviews.
in any case, i still don't know what exactly i want to do for a career. so, even as i'm feeling very lucky that i got shortlisted for both med n law, i have 2 more essays to write. and interviews and tests and blah. that's not so much of a problem.
the last concern being that i'm a terrible relief teacher. i feel like i'm short-changing my students. esp after today's staff meeting. i'm like. gape. how in the world did they manage to do so many things? and i also realised i have to start my students on essays soon and i have to MARK them and there're still people who owe me compres, which i have yet to finish marking as well. and it's not like nj's gp is like that of rj.. frankly i don't think mrs lim did very much teaching, mostly discussion. anyway yeah, rj, they just throw stuff at you, and somehow you manage to swim. at least for our class i think we managed okay in the end.
and now, i'm like. right. i haven't planned my lessons properly and i still have all these random application things to worry about. i just don't know.. my students don't seem to want to do stuff i tell them to do, or else they take a super long time to do stuff, and then i get so sian watching them being so sian too. i'm not even sure i can mark their paragraphs/introductions/essays (when they finally write one) properly.
feel like i've bitten off more than i can chew. and as usual, everything is undeniably my fault. poor time management, watever.
wah. i'm feeling so drained. spent 15mins trying to reason with my grandma.. she kept insisting on giving me money to go and perm my hair, cos apparently my hair is very messy and unkempt when i let it down, and if i don't perm, my students will think i'm very poor and my hair'll look terrible. really so tiring.. and she has a very very strong grip, was trying to force the money into my hands, and kept repeating herself even though i explained to her umpteen times that i was working, ... ... aiyoh. and threatened me with like "if i fall down (while trying to force money on me) how?" "if you dont' take the money i won't sleep!"
and the last time it was "i'm giving you money so that you won't have to scrimp and save on food, so you won't have to keep going to your friend's house to eat cos it's not very good to impose on them".
luckily i managed to persuade her to keep her money.
and my eyesight is really really terrible:( maybe it would've been better to stay at the zoo sigh. but actually no that's quite impossible i wouldn't survive the weeks esp if i have to do double duty.
i wonder if there're people who can never look angry.
Heh. one day when I was watching discovery channel or something, it was on Australia's native animals (I think). wombat! haha it's so cute. anyway the part I watched was on koalas. The commentary "the koala's greatest passion is sleeping". -beams-
and today.. my funny class.. actually it's just that I can hear all the things that the people in the front row say. I gave them the current affairs quiz.
qn: list the 5 cities (remaining contenders) which are interested in hosting the 2012 Olympics.
guy: Bethlehem. cos it's a holy city.
nxt qn was about the nepali twins ganga and jamuna. the qn was something like : operation was performed on ___ twins, ____ and ____, for the purpose for ____ them.
they didn't know the nationality, so the guy was like "siamese"
and didn't know the names either. suggestions included "maria and sutti", "momo and jojo", "fatimah and aminah"
and just to be ridiculous, guy said it was for the purpose of dissecting them.
qn: with effect from nxt yr, graduates who want to be teachers have to _______
gal: learn home econs
me: cook for their students right
okay there're somemore but I'm tired, shall go mark a few compres. not that that's particularly relaxing but well. my eyesight is really terrible now:( help me.. argh.
right. i'm very very tired. and i haven't read up on current affairs! aahh. and i actually saw my nj student at the concert -horror of horrors-. she happily said "See u tmr!" ahhhh. not looking forward to this. it was like, zero breath control and shaky voice does not add up to an excellent performance! haha. oops. anyway it was fun to perform again though, albeit a bit scary.
and i was checking out one of the stanford acapella grp websites.. their recordings.. the one of beautiful stranger is really scary lah, it sounds like the original song not an acapella version.. haha really super zai. but i think dischordant's perfect day arrangement is nicer than theirs. but they have better blending. or maybe its the way they recorded.. dunno la..
k i'm really too tired to write anymore, maybe tmr.. zzzz
heh.. yesterday my class was so funny.. they're the arts class i think? jieying says they're mixed combi. dunno lah. anyway, there're 3 of them running for council (that's why they talk quite a lot and amuse me in the process haha:p) and they all sit in the front row.
anyway, besides that, when i walked into class there were only 2 guys (and a few bags). guys "are we doing essay again today?"
me "no, compre"
looks of horror immediately appear
guy 1 "we must have lunch before 4 o'clock!" (it was 3.50pm)
another guy walks in and asks what's happening
Upon hearing that it's a ... -scary music- comprehension... "oh teacher I have a talk at 3.45"
Another very popular suggestion in my classes "Miss Lin, let's have GP in the canteen"
so I was like, so wat, talk about health food issit?
Yet another attempt to get out of class
guy : Teacher there's a girl crossing the road when the traffic light is red, I must go and save her
girl : really? why?
guy : pretty girl wat
girl : ohhh.. (explanation accepted).
guy elaborates : pretty girl, whether in danger or not, must save
girl : what if not so pretty?
guy : save only if she's in danger
girl : then what about very very ugly girl?
guy : let other people save
hahahaha. okay that isn't a very accurate transcript cos i can't remember exactly what they said.. but it's as close as it gets cos i wrote it down while trying not to laugh
half the class was late coming from geog lesson. girl "can I go and look for them?" guy adds "with our bags?"
2 of the girls "can we go to the toilet?"
me, suspiciously, "you all better come back ah!"
class laughs (i don't know why it was funny actually but nevermind)
girl "there only (points outside) you can come and stand outside the door to make sure we come back"
me "don't be ridiculous.. go go go"
I go back to writing the extra compre question on the board
guy "can I go and make sure they come back?"
girl "can write like in secondary school? The reasons are 1. ... 2. ... "
guy "cannot"
girl "but my secondary school teacher always said must be like that! we asked her.. sure? and she said yes!"
guy, unsympathetically, "no, your teacher bluff you one lah"
okay maybe unsympathetic isn't the adverb but I can't recall the word at the moment:( My vocab is terrible.. it's quite funny actually, I know the feeling of the word but I can't articulate it. I guess that happens after long periods of not-reading-good-books.
yeah. and today, i had a grand total of 6 students in the morning class cos half of them went to watch dance syf or sth. augh. before the other 5 came in, the 1st guy comforted me on the absence of the rest of the class "nevermind la teacher.. take this time to relax"
anyway I shall go shopping later:D time to feel poorer:
owww. i really think i'm fragile. there's some inflammation on my back which is so so painful :( don't even know how it happened. owch. i hope it heals fast. it's quite scary, suddenly feel a knob there and a patch of red.
and i think i'm a very boring teacher!:( augh. and a very lazy one, for that matter. i don't know.. in general it seems like i don't have enough determination to carry out whatever i think of. :( like I'll think okay, this is a good plan, i'll do it later. and i never get round to it. talk about procrastinating! i have a lot of inertia: but when i actually start, and it's "set in stone", i'm fine. i guess that goes for most pple. unless one has a tendency to give up. which i don't, i hope.
which reminded me of that c-vat test i did.. problems with time management. okay, more like problems with realising that time has limits. or realising that i can't do things at my own time (which is almost never, if not given a push, which is bad, cos i'll crumble in uni)
okay. i need to spend more time looking at far distances if not my eyesight will get worse and worse even though i hoped that wouldn't happen. working is bad for the eyesight:(
ah talking to eunice about school reminded me of something today. i got SO annoyed. okay, apparently on wednesdays they dont' open the gate till 3pm. why? so students can't run off from civics. so everyone who wants to leave before 3 has to walk out from the main gate. which is freaking far away.. not to mention it was so hot today. i feel like using a host of expletives but that is unbecoming so i shan't. anyway, so, there i was, at 2.35pm, at the bus-stop gate of nj, trying to argue with the guard to let ME out of the front gate cos i'm a relief teacher. which didn't work, so i tried calling the office. no go either.
walked to other car gate, unfortunately not open either. now, what did i expect? heh. i was contemplating climbing over but remembered jieying's stories about the barbed wire that surrounds the entire school.. so. not particularly viable. stared at the lock and decided i should get my dad to teach me how to pick locks so i don't have to contend with stupid school managements.
absolutely refused to walk all the way across the track, up to the canteen, up to the general office and out of the main gate, esp in the hot sun. (plus after exiting from the main gate, there's still a slope to go down, and another road to walk out, and then walk to the bus stop)
so, i went back to the bus-stop gate and joined the few prc scholars waiting there. absolutely inane. but that wasn't the worse. anyway, while waiting i was complaining to ser. and also staring over jealously at nygh because their gate is right next to the nj gate and it was OPEN. if I'd done pole-vaulting as a cca i would have vaulted myself over (bag, file and all). and one of the scholars suggested to her friends that they should climb the tree to avoid the barbed wire. the only problem being that the branches didn't really extend to the outside of the wall.
wait wait wait. more students appear. guard has to keep explaining that gate doesn't open till 3, and he doesn't have the keys so can't do anything. wait somemore. even more students appear. oh speaking of which, there were students on the outside of the gate who were trying to get in too, and the guard told them to walk by the main gate. so, it was kind of like the berlin wall, pple waiting on both sides to go to the other side.
at intervals i was ruminating on the absurdity of the situation. a bunch of people waiting. which just grows by the minute, while nothing else happens. like hi, it IS possible that those students want to go home and study, isn't that more productive than staying around waiting for the stupid gate to open.. whatever..
in case you think i'm still really angry, no, i'm not, this is just to let off steam. but really, at that time i felt like blowing the school up:p quite violent eh. one wouldn't expect it of little dino clar huh. i guess i get rather fiery sometimes. should learn to tone down. i don't think i used to be that hot-tempered. sigh. anyway, in their defence, the bus-stop gate does usually open at 1pm. and i suppose it's somewhat like rj's old policy of back-gate only opening at 12.30. but again the main gate wasn't that far from the back gate so that wasn't so bad. and i miss the old campus:(
oh dear. i feel a twinge of conscience at posting excerpts (albeit very short ones) of my students' essays. there aren't actually that many funny quotes but well.. my favourite: "teaching doesn't suit me because I'll die trying to manage keeping discipline alive in class." haha. another one wants to own a duck farm next time. it's a most unusual and unique ambition.. and my other favourite: "my favourite food is any food that can be eaten". last one.. "I hate lizards. These four-legged insects never fail to freak me out." I hope she doesn't take bio. haha.
okay. i'm feeling rather battered today.. going shopping for a while later! :D I think it gets tiring feeling thankful for everything sometimes. overdose of gratitude. everything needs to be in balance. at an equilibrium. such a delicate system. I'm rambling.
random thought: was looking at stars on sunday night.. and a thought popped into my mind. I read from somewhere (forgot which book/magazine/was it my own imagination?) that stars are the souls of those who have passed on. comforting to look up and know that they're still watching over you? it depends on the individual I guess. am in no position to judge.
anyway I shall enjoy my few hours at home before I disappear out again. and I'm going to update my bankbook and make sure RJ has paid me. haha.
right. now I shall try to recreate yesterday's post, since I switched on the comp to print some stuff for GP.. yeah I know everyone's going to fall out of his/her seat upon hearing that I'm teaching GP. at NJ. thanks to leeting's recommendation. well, all I can say is.. It's a challenge. haha. and I really need to plan my lessons! aahh.
anyway, I hope my students never find my blog cos I'm going to post some funny things they said/wrote.
When I gave them that terrible current affairs quiz (honestly, I don't think I could have remembered anything.. even though I'd read the papers I forgot almost everything:).. the row of people in front were discussing how many pple lined up to see the pope's body
girl 1: it's 210788!
girl 2: really ah? okay.. -writes it down dilligently-
girl 3: no lah.. that's her birthday
girl 4: eh my birthday starts with 0 how?
guy 1: write my postal code la! -proceeds to tell her his postal code-
and then one question in the quiz was "a sum of ________ was set aside for orchard road's makeover". one person put money. (howinsightful). another one put $11 billion. (yeah, I'm sure you like shopping, but there is a limit to funds available..)
oh yes and then another question about what superbug infected sgh patients.
answers " mega bug no.5" "mega superbug no. 5" (i don't know what the obsession is with 5)
and the funniest: corrupted nurses. hahahaha.
that's about all I can remember at the moment.
I'm sitting at the table of this teacher who has gone on maternity leave. On her desk, there was this postcard with a real walnut with eyes stuck on. and the poem on the back runs as follows:
LOOK at Me!
I am common-looking with a rough, hard exterior
Not particularly attractive but I don't feel inferior
I have no value in dollars and cents
I am so small I don't take offence
When remarks are made about my size
By people who are really quite surprised
When they break me open to have a look
Every space is filled, every cranny and nook
I had no say in my size, shape or the rest
I just grew and grew to my fullest best
Never saw my limitations as blocks
Achieved my potential in spite of hard knocks
Maximize whatever you have,in any small way
Make that bit of difference - start today
And take heart even if your talents are few
If a nut can do it - so can YOU!
-Willy the Walnut-
hehe. I was very amused by it.
went to watch sound of music today. the children are so cute:) well most of the girls are anyway. esp the youngest one! so so so cute! haha. bet every audience loves her.
and in 2 weeks I've had 3 relatives of my friends/church pple pass away. I don't know what to say/do, really. besides belief that God has prepared a better place. and even then. It's at times like these when one learns to treasure whatever one has.
right I was trying to look at a senior's photos frm USA and horrible shutterfly refused to work properly. anyway i think i need sleep. so tired.
augh typed a whole long blog entry yesterday which disappeared cos blogger happily decided not to load. very very angry. grr. and i can't remember most of it. so i shan't bother trying. i know i had some funny quotes from my students though. which i'll put up later.
YES!!! i got into stanford! woohoo~~~ words cannot express how happy i am.. i was just telling ser that i wouldn't scream at getting admitted into unis.. i proved myself wrong in the morning. okay i didn't scream, but i squealed. haha. actually, i woke up, realised it was 9 (and therefore i was late for choir alumni prac) and switched on my phone.. msgs came in.. then i read serene's msg "beh n me got into stanford" and i was like, sigh, these super zai pple..
so, asked my mom to switch on the comp while i went toilet. decided to skip the brushing teeth first. came here, check mail.. i was frantically scanning the "from" column and thinking: crap, i see no "stanford college admissions", don't tell me i've been rejected again. then i scanned "subject" column and saw the first email was "stanford admission decision" and hurriedly clicked... and then when i saw congratulations... ahhhh!!! squeal squeal squeal, squeal at mom "i got in!!" mom also can't believe it. haha.
then i just as hurriedly went to call ser up and tell her i got in!! i think she didn't believe it either. right? haha. anyway i also dunno how i got in.. then msged all the tchers to thank them:) sooo happy.. i don't care if wat changmou said last night was correct - after being happy u realise there isn't much basis and then u become unhappy again.. i shall just enjoy my day! haha.. yeah..
oh then after i finished brushing teeth came back to find missed call from my buddy. called him back.. so noisy.. couldn't hear anything.. silly darryl.. don't even think he knows where stanford is but nevermind..
oh yes and i forwarded the email to my brother.. i'm so glad i didn't disappoint him. as it was, yesterday he said he was soo sad i didn't get penn. so well. yay! haha.
so finally went off for choir prac.. heh. i'm very out of touch with singing.. quite terrible. sigh. anyway, i'm still on a high. plus got nice dinner later. :D but my euphoria is wearing off soon. and i can't really really believe it until i get the package. oh and i still need a scholarship to go. so we shall see.
right i think i finished rambling.. really thank God for his blessings:) yesterday i felt terrible.. today i'm at the top of the world. hope everyone got into everywhere they wanted!
well, just now i thought it was a really really awful day cos nothing was going right. at least things improved. anyway i shall give a short summary of my sucky day and then it'll be over.
1. didn't get a gd sleep, guess why
2. woke up expecting to find 3 emails (i.e. 3 decisions) in my mailbox, ended up with only one (which was rather expected), had to refresh the other decisions page practically 10 times before i got rejected (which was not so expected) and wait for the last one which still hasn't arrived
3. no more today newspaper at the stand, very bored on train trip
4. go to work.. lots of cheques and dunno wat stuff to write. and the boss treats me like an idiot cos i did something stupid (somewhat like mistaking a high f for a high a on the music score:p)
5. lunchtime, end up buying something which didn't turn out to be the way i thought it would
6. get dumped with stuff that i totally do not understand (i.e. stuff to do with accounting, which no one else knows either cos there's hardly any staff around)
7. leave work and somehow end up missing the 6.02pm bus.. so hafta wait 18mins for the next bus
8. bus is stuck in a huge jam, making it virtually impossible for me to reach home in time
9. phone totally dies on me after calling mom to tell her i can't reach in time
10. end up stopping earlier and walking to mrt station, where i somehow contrive to miss the train again? i think.
11. finally get to jurong east.. joy! the train to bkt batok pulls out of the station just as my train doors open. well done!
i think that's about all i can remember. and i don't care anymore anyway. i have a nice dinner tomorrow!! yeah!!! i don't think i've ever been that excited about a meal.. it must be my week-long deprivation of good food (and dinner on a few days) that has caused it. i have a very strong craving for gd food like sashimi and restaurant-style chinese dishes. yumyumyum. haha. i'm terrible.
anyway i don't think i could stomach another day of going to ubi.. shall see what happens
ah. new accounting job. man. i really HATE waiting for buses. esp one annoying shuttle bus which just refuses to come. maybe i need a more interesting book with me to absorb my boredom.
and i also realised i don't like working in ulu places. now do i appreciate the lovely location of my first working place. really! sigh. was just telling my mom the grass is always greener on the other side. this ubi place is so out of the way.. and the building's so ugly.. okay prepare for lots of ranting..
the company's so small.. there's practically no one in the office. okay today there wasn't. i guess that can be good and bad, but it's so quiet. and boring. and i feel very very cooped up. here i can't even go anywhere to walk around.
yeah and there's no nice food (this, like i told candice in january, is of utmost importance since lunch is the highlight of the day - though of late i haven't been thinking much of food) and no shopping! ahh. tragic. as shopping not as in clothes but no bookstores or anything. :(
right. oh and the company's so small they don't have their own toilet, hafta go out and use the common one. and the office is at the end of the very long corridor. what are the chances..
k now that i finished whining.. at least now i know about accounts! haha. although i must admit i was rather sleepy today and i just hope i remember everything i have to tomorrow. and it's back to excel spreadsheets. but it was quite funny at the end of the day after tallying accounts there was like $9 left and my boss was like !!
i get to issue cheques! -feels rich- *until i see the balance left at the end of the day* hoho. but still. feel the power!! whee~ and i'm doing salary tmr. feel like paying myself immediately rofl. not that there's a lot to pay, given that i only started today. oh well.
oh something i forgot: i don't particularly like spending almost 2 hrs travelling though, factoring in waiting time for the stupid shuttle bus. bah.
countdown to friday.. augh. i haven't been sleeping properly la. last night i dreamt we were back in rg - some huge gep 02 gathering. that would be nice wouldn't it? just that the uni stuff came intruding and then it wasn't nice anymore.
and i felt like sleeping again today around 3+. actually i think my eyes were glazed thru'out the day but really felt like conking out at 3 plus. hoho automatic shutdown.
on the way home i was thinking that i must have some artistic element in my job next time or i'll just hate it. but maybe it just seems attractive because i don't really know what it entails.
yay we won 2nd prize! it was really surreal. like i was wondering "oh okay they're just announcing finalist names now" cos i thought we were in category A. then after that, somewhere btwn going up there and getting back to our seat, i realised that we were the runners-up. which is so cool! lalala:D besides, we get more $$ of cos. rofl.
and i was so dazed i didn't hear who was the winner for our category. but actually like ting says i think they gave it to us cos we're the youngest (and i'm also of the opinion that they were impressed by her saying she'd been thinking about it since sec 3) and so it'll be like encouragement for current students.. i.e. we'll become role models. haha. and she said the chairman told her they (judges) had a huge discussion on us. i think it was a really good idea to make the mooncakes! though poor ting had to do all the hard work cos of our procrastination:s oops. bad clar.
yeah anyway.. the jap association is quite cool! nice n new n all. the only problem with today was the abundance of speeches and poor speakers. i mean, most of the speakers were japanese so it's a bit hard to make out their english sometimes. and most of them weren't really talking to us, more like reading out from their scripts. or.. i don't know how to describe it. when u're speaking to people u should sound like u're interested in wat u're talking about, or at least sound like u're addressing them. or maybe i'm just being idealistic as usual.
also, the content wasn't very interesting. i mean, like trade and industries and all that. i must be one of those apathetic youngsters that the ministers always talk about. haha. but i remember what lynette's colleagues said to her (ok i hope i remembered correctly and it was lynette not yl/glad) about how she has the rest of her life to get used to working at raffles place, why coop herself up there now? but there, it's probably more correct to say that oh, we should care about international trade and what not, since we're the next generation of leaders/business pple/whoever else.
the haach ceo is so pretty. quite lah. i guess she'd have to look good, seeing her line of business. and her hair is so long. and she looked so different from last week haha. she sounded a bit weird while speaking though. and she has a most interesting name! ms ponz goo. well.
dr vivian balakrishnan is very impressive. okay lah i thought he'd be a bit taller and be more forceful while speaking but that doesn't really matter cos:
1. he speaks very well i.e. actually sounds like he's talking to you - mom said of cos, that's what a debater's for!)
2. he makes a lot of sense (of cos, i mite have been just mesmerised but i hope i was being objective)
3. when he was answering q&a, drew on all the others' speeches - this i find really amazing because i wouldn't even remember what they said, let alone link it to answering the questions. okay maybe he was more interested in their speeches cos he didn't have to listen to the ones by the jetro & jap chamber of commerce pple.
whatever it is, i still think he's really good! haha. ting said she was impressed at how sharp our ministers are. i can imagine audry being one of them next time. sometimes i think it's just this aura around pple that empowers them. like exuding common sense or sth. or maybe it's cos u hear so much about them u're awed before you even meet them and that counts for quite a bit? okay i don't think i'm making sense anymore.
oh he said something about how if pple in the IT line have to design a webpage which appeals to pple, the prerequisite wouldn't be being able to write HTML in yr sleep, but to know about psychology/art too.
anyway, lunch was good, except that the plate was so heavy (ting complained her biceps were aching) and we didn't have anywhere to sit n the tables were like waist-high. but sushi! and tempura! haha. :D
right. maybe next week i'll actually be able to make it for alumni prac. though it'll only be like a few pracs away from concert! well. will see.
right. i spent around $88 yesterday. -feels poor-. luckily i got paid for my tuition services so that kind of makes up for it. anyway thanks to jane i have landed myself the accounting job. though now i have a problem with the science centre thing. well well. forever getting myself into fixes. and haven't thought of anything exciting to do.
ah. yes. last night i dreamt i got rejected by all my unis. it was a rather weird setting. like we were lining up waiting to get these slips with the admission status of all e unis we applied to. and chris was behind me i think.
the stress is getting too much for me. augh. and yesterday i was at both borders n kino and they had countdown to release of harry potter VI: 17 weeks. and i'm like ... i can't even wait till next week when my admission results are out and u're counting down 17 weeks? crazy pple man.. talk about marketing.. really large scale here. (and very overdone, in my opinion)
and i spent today watching dvds. rather unproductive. i think i should take changmou's advice and go and read something on econs. i think i shouldn't think abt anyth scholarship or uni-related. it's too depressing.
oh i just remembered something i said on saturday. demonstrating pure laziness. we were tramping around botanic gardens and trying to find my way out to the bus stop. and i was v tired (being on heels, as usual, unfortunately) and told ting i wished i had wings so i could fly (instead of walking) and then on reflecting i decided "but then my arms will get tired also" so same thing lah. and she was so amused. and i just told my mom and she was amused too. but it's true wat!
ah. long day today. i fell asleep at 10+ last night and woke up at 3 sth and couldn't go back to sleep and then finally fell asleep again and then had to wake up to go to gic. but i can't get over how beautiful their office is:p it's fantastic lar.. spanking new and clean and blah. and somehow these scholarship things are always so draining. okay i think i'm going to repeat what i said in my last post so i shall stop before i do that.
oh yes let me complain i feel so cheated. AND the logic was so hard.. don't know how joon long can finish it way before everyone else and sit there with folded arms waiting for deon to come in. i bet changmou enjoyed it though. i would have actually found it quite fun if not for the time limit.. and that 400+ qn personality test again! augh. i don't think it was the same as psc though? dunno. talk about mentally exhausting.
anyway so i called pple up and met anna + lynette + yl for lunch. let me quote anna on yl "she underestimated her lateness by 11minutes" (arrived at 1.21pm instead of 1.10 i assume) haven't seen anna in ages! pity kahli wasn't there though.. oh well.
oh wait before that let me complain about how i attempted to walk to far east sq frm capital tower.. so, i looked at the map, figured i'd see something familiar if i walked down robinson road, and commenced my walk. reached lau pa sat, felt totally lost cos i wasn't sure which direction raffles place was, decided to walk back to tanjong pagar mrt to go to raffles place. how sad is that. so i walked a whole round, and ended up dropping my phone (for the like 3rd time since last dec, which is -really- pathetic)
anyway yeah.. met sya at her usa ice cream stall.. talked to her for a while after finding that lijia wasn't v free today cos her colleague was on leave. and pam, as usual, never seems to eat lunch. that girl.. she'll be a bamboo soon if she's not careful. not that she isn't already. haha. i still wonder if i should've applied to france. oh well.
hmm yup after talking to sya, went shopping.. saw the nice pineapple tarts ms tan had at her house so i bought some home! yay:D didn't buy too many though, already have gelato at home. fat clar. and bought nice earrings from minou:) i would've bought more, but well. oh i wanted to go artiris too! but my feet were too tired. i like little shops. i mean. those push-cart kind? aiyah don't know what they're called. just find them more interesting cos e products there are less likely to be mass produced. or so it seems.
took a bus to orchard, was looking for books at kino until i got a headache frm flipping thru too many so went down to taka to shop. for what, i don't know. i'm still trying to find comfy not-too-high heels which look decent and don't cost too much but that seems to be too much to ask. should go to the "heartland" shops to find. they're actually quite good leh. and then i suddenly had a craving for cookies n cream milkshake (jan was most unhelpful in telling me to go to bluemoo) luckily the cafe in the library had:D and it was quite nice! although i ended up freezing for quite a while. and am kind of full (and fat) now.
i think orchard's one of the most boring places to shop at. i shall find new places to go. no actually most shopping malls are very boring cos the shops are all the same. sometime ago there was this article in the papers which suggested a shoe mall.. awesome idea! just go there and all the shoe shops are there.. yeah.. the convenience!
right. so i'm still trying to think of a new job.. ideas anyone?
i still haven't figured out what i wanna do. oh well. anyway, went out w fiona n ser today. haha and dearest fiona was later than both of us altho i went for this job-thingy before meeting them. watched in good company.. quite a gd show la. the wedding date looks quite funny.. and then we went to play pool. that place was super hot! and didn't have the stick. whatever its proper name is. i think it's worth paying a little more to get proper facilities. ser quite pro today eh:p won dunno how many games!
tomorrow i'm going for the gic test thingy in the morning. better get a gd sleep tonight if not i can't demonstrate my mental ability tmr haha. and i also realised their interview is going to be really hard cos they're bound to ask about current affairs and investing, both of which i know next to nothing. ahh.
i don't like the working world. okay that's kind of on a side note cos i was just thinking (more like worrying, actually) about scholarship stuff and how i don't like all those interviews and watever cos it has to do with the working world. which is mostly, in my opinion, rather unpleasant. but of course i'm being pessimistic and wanting to always stay small. (fine i am small, let's rephrase that to "stay young")
and i am also very worried about my uni apps, i know my sleep last night was very much disrupted by uni-related things but i can't remember any details. haha. i suppose it's better i don't remember anyway. wondering if i was being too idealistic by applying to only unis within the top 5 (excepting berkeley). probably so. not that i can do anything now, besides worry that i'll get rejected by everyone? haha. actually i don't even know what i really want either. praying for something good to happen.
i think that personality test thingy was right. i dream too much.
ah. went to safra mt faber on sat night to eat. it's quite a cool place.. the outside anyway. and while i was looking at the facade and wishing all buildings looked as nice i realised that wouldn't be very practical. i think it would cease to look good the moment every other building looks the same. i.e. ugly things are needed as a standard for beauty.
and spent most of yesterday sleeping. and didn't want to wake up today cos i'll have to think of what job to get next. okay not like it's so easy to get a job but well. maybe i need to join more organisations so i know what's going on and all. oh dear i just forgot what i was intending to do: oh yes update resume.
hum. i miss my old computer:( with all my lovely pics and songs! aah. the demise of my other comp triggered off a longing for my own laptop (preferably apple, my bro n ting have influenced me too much methinks) but i realised there'll be a problem with the internet connection. well. actually i guess i can just bring it outside to connect whenever. but again i also think my bro's supposed to pass me his laptop when he comes back. sigh. and actually i also don't like the apple laptops cos the screen display font is super small.. microscopic.. and it's not like my eyesight isn't already bad enough
oh! let me proudly announce the presence of a tub of venezia gelato in my fridge:D i'm hooked on it. lala:p it makes up for my missing swensen's last fri:) -beams- dark chocolate and mango sorbet! (or is it sherbert? i have no idea) aahh.
well my mom has just admonished me for being such a pig, to put it directly. lazing around and not wanting to go find classes to attend. yeah i admit i have a lot of inertia to overcome.
ah. very busy last few days. and next week i'm slack and free again. well well. and chem tuition ah.. wah.. so tiring got to sit there like doing tutorials all over again. which reminds me i must ask ser some stuff haha. to confirm.
anyway yeah went for caas interview and met loads of people.. rj pple and hc pple i.e. chris' classmates.. all nice pple! wah and now jiahui says she met jo selene and others today. i didn't really realise how many people applied until i saw 18 other pple in the room yesterday. oh well. anyway, the group thing was really chaotic and annoying.. i actually thought pple would go one by one to present views but haha. loud and interrupt here and there.. it's so.. dunno la.. because everyone knows he/she has to prove him/herself and say something and all that. don't like these group thingies.
and the summary was crazy.. 7 pgs or sth i think? into 300 words.
ah well it's over. and i was worried i wudn't be able to get to tuition in time (which i didn't). bleah. and then got home, spent around 1 hr at home, then time to go to ting's house. i'm really last minute. it's terrible.
and today.. i think the most interesting part was getting my personality analysed by this guy we met at the presentation.. haha. but now the novelty's worn off so i'm quite bored. trying to think of nice place to go to eat dinner! aiyah i wonder if they went to eat swensen's yesterday.. lucky pple. nevermind.. i'm eating at venezia w lijia n joon on monday! haha.
aiyah i'm not very happy today either. partly cos i'm so tired and i have so many things to do. and i don't know what to think. the turnover rate is so high and i'm feeling so so lazy at the moment. and tired. still tired. in fact, tired the whole day. the mere thought of having to exert myself tires me. imagine that. no one can beat me at being lazy.
anyway i also don't know why my lower back (or lower part of spine) is aching. oww. poor clar. haha self-sympathy.
feel absolutely shitty. i'm better off a hermit or something. i hope i didnt get my bro into trouble. (and please don't ask what i said) why'm i so stupid? i'm over honest, over trusting, over innocent, the list goes on. maybe they'll just forget i went for their interview or lose all my info or sth and everyth'll be fine. anyway i totally screwed up mas interview, and i also hate their questions cos they're so freaking hard to answer. i think this is the first time i've been faced with at least one question that i really can't answer. luckily i don't really want to join them so it doesn't matter so much. at least now i know what NOT to say. hate myself sometimes.
the only good thing is that i'm going to the zoo tmr. at least i hope it'll be nice, if not i'll be even sadder. or angrier, depending? haha.
and i still have that caas speech to write. it doesn't even sound interesting to me, how'm i going to present it so people don't fall asleep and i sound sufficiently enthusiastic about myself? i should just forget about stupid scholarships and stay here.
alright evidently i'm in quite a foul mood so i shall stop. and go and eat something that will make me happier. though the cloud hangs above, full of menace. i probably over-worry but still.
yawn. i'm tired. actually i've been tired the whole day. and i wonder how i'm going to finish everything and produce good quality stuff. these essays are driving me nuts, it's like uni apps all over again. (and it also doesn't help that now even nus needs 3 essays. idiotic pple. oops k i better hope they never see this.) and now it's kind of worse cos i'm being so last minute. gah. really, some things never change.
anyway here's the lowdown on my last 2 classes on friday.. kp's n fenglin's class.. and jinjie came to crash.. i bet he was bored stiff haha. and i caught him taking photo of me. right? *glares* and i had to look for questions in my own tuts cos it seemed slightly pointless to go thru the common test qns when they all had the answers and were just copying off sometimes. yeah well i didn't go thru the last qn.. but that was just showing that the charge was redistributed wat.. plus the hint was so obvious. anyway after explaining the complicated kirchhoff's laws thingy i had to go down to s12a already so too bad.
so.. at least for s12a it was back to the normal routine.. which actually makes life easier although boring. go thru lect test.. etc. and oh, someone wanted to call me clarissa la so i was like "no, u hafta call me ma'am at least" haha. and then junming's junior was sitting in front. they were quite cute though, at 10.15 i think? they were like "ma'am can we go now? want to go for eye check-up.."
" got free gift! first come first serve!"
"if you let us go now we'll let you go in front and get the free gift first.."
and complained that i gave them 2 questions to do somemore. haiyoh.
anyway later i accompanied sarah to bio lab to kaypoh while her student did make-up spa.. it's really not such a good idea to have the bio and physics lab benches in that weird arrangment. like sarah said.. "can make eyes across the table" rofl.
yeah oh! i met xinmin at like 1+ while waiting to pass time so i could leave haha. talked for a while.. she knows the 3i pple! esp guy1 who's her chamber junior. ah-hah. speaking of which i met him in the lift and he was like oops. and i met denise c n yujia in the canteen.. n yujia said "u want to teach our class again today?" haha don't dare already.
mm then talked to mr chan (math). he says i'm v unsure of everything. to do with career. and that i have a lot of restrictions. but well, at least i know what i don't want? haha don't know lah. i'm just a confused 18 yr old.
heh i was blog surfing for a while and so many pple were saying how they prefer the old rj campus cos it's cosy and nice and you meet pple along the corridors. totally agree. new rj is so huge it takes ages to get anywhere. i felt like stealing the security guard's bike quite a few times. and the walk to j8 is SO long too. not to mention hot. oh and new rj has many many floors. lifts are frequently crowded.
i was going to reflect on teaching but i shall do that another time cos i feel slightly hard pressed for time. suddenly so busy all over again. all these scholarship things. i don't even know if i really want to join those companies and how'm i going to convince them if i'm not even sure myself? bah. let's pray i come up with something fast.
well.. mixed day. 3 classes today, each rather different from the other. maybe i'm too serious or fierce or something. anyway.. first up.. 3j.. recognised christina yek. anyway queerly enough mr raufie came in to say something.. i thought they were busy that's why we're relief teaching but oh well. umm a few of the guys didn't wanna listen to me at first and kept talking.. i realised how annoying that is. nearly lost it and wanted to snap "shut up" at them. oops. anyway later on when i was going thru tut they were mostly quite attentive so okay lor
and then 3i. haha. well.... no warning at all! i mean for 3b mr tan did say they're a bit naughty.. so i happily went in, said hi to denise, started.. there was this guy sitting at the far end of the class who didn't seem to be listening and annoyed me slightly but i've learnt to just ignore as best as i can. little did i know what was going to happen.
after i finished going thru lecture test.. (somehow i'm never sure whether they all understand cos sometimes nobody has any questions *shrug*) one of the guys (bio rep i guess??) asked for permission to ask the class when they want their bio make-up lesson.. so i sat there and waited for them to decide.. it was so funny.. after arguing for a while the rep was like "if we have the bio tut u all must come k.." other guy "then u ask us whether we want the tut for wat?" anyway they finally settled on tues..
oh and 3 of them went off for ssef..
so i told them to take out tuts. hmm. they already had the answers and a few pple didn't want to go thru answers. so these 2 guys decided to waste time for the rest of the class..
guy 1 "ma'am.. bell rang already.. didn't u hear it?"
me "no.. it's 10.30 no bell don't try n trick me"
guy 1 "new system la ma'am.."
guy 2 "ma'am.. if you let us off now got 20mins.. enough time to go down and get a bowl of porridge before lecture.."
guy 1"ma'am.. can hear your stomach rumbling.. let's go and eat lah.. celebrate your good results"
me "any questions?"
guy 1 "can you write pi to 100 decimal places on the board for us?"
guy 2 "ma'am you can get angry at us now and walk out.."
guy 1 "yeah then we'll walk slowly and sadly out of class looking remorseful.."
and i refused to let them off because there were like 25mins left.. really cannot lor.. i already let the other classes off early somemore.. told them i'd let them off 10mins before time too but they still refused! wah.. really headache man.
guy 2 "ma'am you don't look very interested in teaching also.. so let us off early!" (waahh.. that is the ultimate)
"ma'am.. 3 mins more (to 10.45).. we can do this together!"
me to guy 1 "since u talk so much tell me ur name lah"
guy 1 "my name is winston. people call me hodge. my sibling's coming to visit later okay! (implying that he's the prince of brunei, ahem.)
so these 2 guys talked so much rubbish the rest of the class (and i, sadly) was in stitches. really funny.. anyway in the end i gave up n packed up and told them "u wanna go right? go lor" and none of them dared to move la.. all thought i was being sarcastic. haha.
guy 2 "ma'am u're v sneaky leh.. reverse psychology"
guy 1 "that -almost- worked"
but still no one got up
guy 1 "ma'am you must lead by example (and go out first).. leaders thinkers and pioneers!"
anyway so i did go off and denise was so sweet.. walked me back to staffroom haha. i think this is my worst failure.. cannot out-talk these 2 guys. no actually i did manage to start on q5 of tut but they informed me that mrs lim had already gone thru that qn.. and the rest of the qns are quite easy la so i also didn't insist on explaining.
right.. then later on 1b. wah. no ohp. so i had to go to the nxt room to get one. and then most of the class was so stone. or not listening to me. and then after going thru lecture test, same thing happened "we have the answers already.. she said u were only going thru lecture test"
and it was 12.15 la! means i had like 40mins more to go. man. talk about feeling helpless. nobody had any questions.. so after feeling helpless for a few minutes i decided to write out questions on the board.. which half the class didn't bother to do.. luckily i had my file with me and used one of the kirchhoff laws questions.
ah i suddenly feel too tired to type anymore. maybe later. oh despite 3i being so terrible it was really funny actually.. i just hope they really do understand the tut answers..
oh dear. i think i'm really sad. and i also think i am the only person this could happen to. i went to the fridge, intending to get a drink (mix of guava lime n water) and ended up pouring vinegar into my cup instead of cold water. i didn't even realise until i tasted it and was wondering how come the lime is suddenly so sour. my mom was so appalled "it's so pungent! how did you do your chemistry prac?" aiyah it's not my fault they both look the same wat.. my mom recycles bottles and i asked "there're two bottles of water issit?" and she sed yeah (actually the other bottle of water was on the other end of the shelf)
anyway so i had to pour it away and now my mom's even more convinced i won't be able to take care of myself if i go off to US alone. and i also realised there's rather little time left before uni starts again. should go look up more courses. hmm. but lazy leh.
wah. i slept 10hours. wat a pig. i think i'm too pampered now. totally unused to lack of sleep/using my brain. though i did get to use it for a while until yesterday. and now for yesterday..
i think my first class was a dismal failure. because it was my first class and i wasn't particularly prepared. or rather a bit nervous. and they were all so stoned and yes i shouldn't have given them the answer sheet before going through lecture test.. and the large majority of the class didn't finish their tutorial. but i learnt some things. ie they'd rather listen to their classmates explain than me. and it's useful to have a class list to call names when they don't want to answer my questions. oh and at least there were a few people who did answer me (and assured me their class was always like that & "ma'am relax lah") so i didn't feel so idiotic standing in front wondering which question of tut they'd finished and etc. and found it rather pointless going through answers to tut when they already had the printed answers. so i let them off early.
and in btwn classes i was so bored.. alternated btwn talking to florrine/ser/aud/sarah/christine siew & sarah hiong.. got to watch mr chan's wedding video again haha. he's really amusing.. sarah "ur wife is v pretty"
mr chan "i noe"
and aud was like "wat?!" haha.
and later on ser was strangling me and i was growling at her not to bully me and mr chan "came to my rescue"and told her don't bully me and told me "u can give her a white slip!" and ser sed she'll colour it black. haha. so crazy. i was saying luckily no students can enter staffroom bcos we were behaving totally unlike tchers. and ser sed i look younger than my students. bah.
so yeah.. visited library.. scanned list of names at the general office.. ate lunch.. ser was indignant that dr chan n mr chan ch were sitting at the other end of the table. though i must say more like he's her favourite person to talk to although she keeps denying it. haha. i think she's going to kill me for this but too bad. yeah.. and then ser coerced me into going for chem lect w her, telling me that it's always very funny cos dr chan'll make silly jokes at the beginning and at the end.. but i got so bored i left after like 20mins+ haha. reliving j1 days (or rather, chem lectures) is more than i can take. oh n ms tan's really quite slim now.
oh and mr tan warned me that 3b's quite a naughty class so i'll hafta be a bit fiercer with them.. i think i must be the slackest teacher around cos i let them off early too.. but wat to do when they all didn't bring tutorials? i mean i did write out part of the question on the board for them to do but i also don't know if they did it..
they're v nice and friendly though.. it's quite funny having juniors call me ma'am. haha. but also quite fun. anyway yeah they're hilarious.. i was trying to think of how to explain the capacitor thing (which gave both me n florrine a huge headache, luckily i got mrs tan to explain to me later on..) and a few of the guys packed their bags and stood up and i was staring at them in astonishment.. so the guys were like "isn't class over already?" and i gave them an incredulous look and said "NO!" so they sat down again. -shakes head-
(and i realised i forgot to bring the tys to class haha luckily could remember most of the question since it was mostly definitions) and another one of the guys was so cute.. asked which tut? emi issit? cmi la.. so i told him if don't go thru tut today ur common test will also be cmi.. so they were like cannot get 4a's issit? (cos they asked me earlier on wat i got for a's) and i sed no i didn't say that!
yeah and there was steph and my church junior in the class (she claims she nearly screamed when she saw me in class haha.. exactly why i didn't tell her yesterday i was going to teach her class;p) darn now that i think about it i shouldn't have told denise c/kp/fenglin either.. it wud've been funnier.. oh well. and now my dearest buddy wants to come and crash my tut on friday.. speaking of him.. haha.. when asked why he went to run yesterday he said he was fat. haha i've never heard anything like that from a guy.. and he also explained to me the difference btwn "fat" and "flab" (flab is unseen fat so it's worse). i've never been so amused.
so visited choir.. john's so funny too.. begging me to swop classes so i'll teach his class.. i'm so thankful i'm not teaching 3c/3f/1a/1c/whichever other class who has phys shens which i haven't heard of.. i think florrine's teaching them.. dunno. wonder who took over hon.
and kp if u read this u'd better return me my carboxylic acid notes on thurs/fri.. grr.
didn't stay for choir though. i realised despite my 2 years (okay, more like 1+year) i don't really know choir pple very very well. as in both the current j2s and j3s. quite sad lar. but come to think of it i don't know my classmates particularly well either. think i'm still closer to sec sch frens and even then, we've drifted apart somewhat too. okay this is getting too depressing i will not end up in the same state as i was on saturday.
o i saw ms low n she was asking me abt choir pple's results.. and whacked me when i said a lot of their names are on the board downstairs. haha. oops. anyway, now i truly realise how hard it was to teach our class when nobody wanted to say anything. more regrets.
aaargh. i wish i'd started revising earlier. haha. this is worse than lecture test/common test la. given that i haven't touched my stuff for like 3 FULL months. groan. when i go uni in july/sept the same thing will happen. augh. i'm appalled. i can literally hear the gears in my brain (or what's left of it) turning and grating against each other! so rusty and so slow. and everything's very very fuzzy. horrifying really. anyway i'd better go back to stimulating my brain to gain momentum if not i'll never get to sleep at this rate.
sigh and my mom has to talk about results again and my s papers. what can i say? i should've done more about them since the beginning of the year? and i regret a lot of things? or should i say, having not done a lot of things? what's the point? i can't do anything about that now. i wonder what my predicted grades were.
on further reflection i thank god that i did okay and now am just praying for an excellent uni and scholarship.. who cares about a levels once i've gotten those..
hoho now my mom tells me my dad regrets letting me join choir. so she asked me "do u regret joining choir?" and after that "everyone thinks i can do better than my bro". which i evidently didn't. in a way. i'll never match up to him so what's the point.. let's predict my future.. i'll get rejected by all my us unis and end up staying here.. or maybe i won't get into any course here either and end up going somewhere else.. yay.. sorry i'm just rather bitter now.
oh and she thinks they (as in parents) didn't tell me what they expected (for s papers) that's why i didn't achieve. aside from that being ridiculous (because i have my own goals), that also hurts. and then she just asked me whether i knew what my dad expected from me. to which i replied i didn't really think about that.
maybe it's easier to work for something when you're doing it for someone else? but no i don't think so. it's like a replay of my higher chinese in sec 4.. felt like i let down my tuition tcher and my hcl tcher (who's v sweet and said she thought i deserved better). well i suppose at least i din let my gp tcher n tuition tcher down this time.
so tomorrow there's church and everyone'll be asking again.. i hope i get thru that in one piece cos i still have to come home and revise physics which i still haven't done. on another note, this is so ironic. i never thought i'd have this 2nd child syndrome or watever you call it. but i'll just forget it after a while, the way the water slips off a duck's back. i think i'm rather unfeeling sometimes. imagine a heart of stone. okay sorry being melodramatic here, exaggeration is always fun.
don't worry about me, i'll just pick myself up and go on. as always.
the incredibles soundtrack is nice.
lala. i feel much better after a loooong nap in the afternoon. i think i slept at least 4 hours haha. pig. felt so cheated having to wake up early and drag myself down to the bus stop on my painful feet and in the end nothing came out of it.. oh well..
oh. except the minor detail that my chair somehow crashed down and caused my specs to become deformed. bah. i suppose it's time to change specs anyway since that's the older pair. but was rather annoyed when i woke up.
the dolphin show was so nice. well okay not particularly but watching shows improves my mood mostly. i think. and oh i just realised how the AJC guy's results are really good esp considering his condition. makes one feel small.
yeah am going to be rather busy.. aah i still haven't revised my phys!: help.
on reflection i realised my last post was all on results. yeah i don't really know what to make of my results, depends how you look at it i guess. and i don't know if i disappointed pple and somehow that affects me quite a bit. i wonder what my predicted grades were heh. wonder if they were the same as what i got.
now.. i was thinking about something else that was slightly depressing but now i can't remember what exactly it was. must be the effect of the looong day. just was rather moody the 2nd half of today. so didn't talk v much. aiyah somehow that always happens to me.. bad habit. habit? okay i'm confusing myself, i should go sleep. and think about what's bothering me before that.
let me recount the whole day. the narrative mode begins:
got to work a bit late. did my mindless form-sorting and stapling.. for once i was glad that it was a mindless job cos i was getting rather worked up while waiting for ser to call. and when she told me my results i was thinking hmm that was the least i was praying for. so well. but of cos i wud hope for better. so nvm. and oh. i really think i trust people too easily. so gullible. now i realise it really wasn't possible. unless it was a different thing altogether. another disillusion. maybe i'm wrong anyway, i don't know.
okay i just realised my recounting isn't going to be very long cos i don't feel like recounting a lot anymore. well.. saw chernise 1st.. (w a whole bunch of guys haha) then kp.. then fenglin in the hall and denise.. all the pple i'm going to teach. ah well. should be fun i hope.. and i've to go revise phys haha
and then i got my result slip and looked. to make sure serene told me the correct thing. huge irony. when i saw mrs cheong before results were given out she was like "u noe ur results already rite?" while fiona candice siewjin etc were still worrying. and i said yeah, serene told me. so i looked at my slip and realised she got the order wrong. so hmm hurry up n call mom again.
i kind of prefer knowing my results earlier. saves me the torture. anyway that's immaterial now. ah i wanted to rant about something but don't feel like it anymore.. and also dont' feel like describing anymore stuff so i shall go sleep soon.
augh. i'm terrified of tomorrow. somehow this is way way worse than o's. wait. i feel a sense of deja-va aka i've already said this yesterday. i wish for tomorrow to bring me a pleasant surprise. or pleasant surprises in the plural would be good too. but it doesn't seem like i'd had a pleasant surprise for a long while. o level results were definitely not pleasant, although my english grade was sufficiently surprising, although i felt slightly uneasy after the compo paper.
and i also hope for pleasant surprises for us uni apps. and scholarship apps too for that matter but anyway, uni's more on my mind at the moment. yeah but it doesn't seem like that will happen either. right so i'm terribly blue now. more like looking thru black-tinted glasses? haha. help.
anyway, i got "sacked" cos they didn't want me to take 3 days leave nxt week. or if you want a euphemism (given by my mom), they decided to "terminate my services". i don't really care actually, i don't foresee doing very interesting/useful stuff in that dept. and i'd much rather go back to rj nxt week to teach. so there. at least i got a week in the bank. haha. i suppose if i stayed on i'll probably learn more in time to come.. but nevermind.
besides that, i don't really see what's so indispensable about someone who sorts forms in numerical order/staples fax confirmations to forms. esp for only 3 days. but there, i'm in no position to comment, maybe they wud have given me more important stuff to do when the pregnant lady disappears. no use speculating, i shall just enjoy myself next week, if "enjoy" be the correct word.
haha poor serene still hasn't gotten her bday present. but i think i can promise to bring it on monday:) and mr chan's wedding video! haha i'm so glad his hair is short now. and i didn't finish watching it cos mrs tan came looking for me (oops). he told me good luck (or bao3 zhong4? i forgot) when i told him i was teaching j2s. oh and mr chan ty told me "u'll see sarah next week" actually ser already told me but anyway. it'll be fun! haha. 4 of us frm the same class.. and then there's hon florrine hanyan liangsi christine sarah-hiong. at least i think they're still around.
i have just counted and realised there're at least 4 choir juniors whom i will be teaching. erps. s12a, so1b, so3b, so3i, so3j, so6a, so6f. if any of you read this, you'd better not call me clar when i'm teaching! i'm ms lin for the week! -stares- speaking of which we saw mr hodge when we went down to general office to register some stuff and mrs tan told him we were relief-teaching. he stared at us for a while and went "u all look too young to be teaching! -pause- go and get yourselves a shawl or something!" haha. tt'll never work for me tho. i can't look old (or mature, whichever) no matter how i try to dress up.
luckily i have only brainless work (as usual) to do tomorrow if not i'll be making mistakes all over the place while i wait for ser to call me:s augh
haha. it turned out to be quite a happy day after all! i was rather disgruntled in the morning though. had no idea where the shuttle bus was supposed to stop (and therefore missed the first one without knowing, how was i supposed to know that bus went to carrefour when its covering was "amazing thailand" or watever their punchline is?) and had to walk in the rain to try and figure out where in the world the singapore explorer bus/trolley stopped.
anyway, upon walking back to near the mrt i saw this long line of pple queueing and asked and yeah.. suntec bus. the woman i asked was like "u need a pass". wat rot. the HR person told me yesterday that those 2 shuttles didn't need a pass. and anyway for the bus that goes directly to millenia walk, you don't need to show ur pass either. who's so wu liao to check? when everyone's either rushing to work or rushing to go home. i didn't bother anyway.
and yes, i finally got my access card. yeah! no more prisoner-clar. haha. so, i was again late for work (what's new) glad is hilarious.. when i was telling her abt how i have been late the 1st 2 days, she msged back and said "oh i'm late every day. it don matter la you have to test the limits of your boss!" rofl. that girl is really.. cos i was asking her why she said (a long time ago) that her lunch break can be for any length of time..
anyway i took a shorter lunch to make up, not that it mattered cos nobody gave me work until i decided to go and ask around. and today, -taadaa- i did more stapling and even more sorting! i must be very good at looking at numbers and arranging them. actually on the contrary, i think i'm getting worse cos i start mixing up numbers cos i'm seeing too many.
luckily i was talking to aud today. anyway, i will get to teach at rj after all.. haha:D am taking 3 days off from the bank nxt week! waha. but i figured since i'm taking off nxt week i'd better work half day on friday to appease the HR gal. who wasn't very pleased to start with but too bad, it's not my problem if they give me rubbishy things to do.. i mean, it's not like i'm really taking over the pregnant woman.. i'm just doing various odd jobs which other pple (mainly the 2 guys, hmm) don't want to do. i think the HR person has the wrong idea. she seems to think i'm learning a lot of stuff and therefore will be a replacement when mrs pregnant goes off.
my boss (okay, he's the manager of remittance dept so i suppose one could call him my boss) is so easy to talk to haha. i told him i wanted a week off at first and he was like sure, after results got stuff to settle, no problem, just go tell the HR dept. (who wasn't as amiable but nvm)
lala. the only dark cloud. or few clouds, including uni app results which actually don't come up till april but still. so the only dark cloud as of now is results on friday. wat if i screwed up phys? and then still go and teach j2s phys? that'll be a huge joke.
when aud msged me in the morning i started worrying all over again and wondered how/why i lulled myself into this false sense of security that everything'd be alright/perfect. bah. if a miracle occurs, maybe, remembering how many papers/questions i screwed up. groan. it's way worse than o's. given that it determines uni entry. in a way. and scholarships. and i don't even know if i still want dbs.
heh. 1st day at bank. well well well. prepare for the barrage of complaints. first of all i was late for work cos i couldn't figure out where the building was so had to walk extra distance. not that it mattered, since the HR person in charge of me came at 9.30 so i had to stone around for 10mins.
anyway. centennial tower has crazy security. you need a card to get into the lift lobby (and to get out of it). and then sumitomo itself has even crazier security. you need a card to get into many of the departments (and even to get out of the office, which i find is totally ridiculous).
and i'm so fortunate to be working in the remittance department which is enclosed because the management decided that since remittance includes payment of funds and stuff, they should be partitioned off from the other staff. so you need a card to get into the remittance room too. it's rather like a prison, esp when you don't have a card on the 1st day like me. i tried to go out as little as possible so i didn't have to bother my colleagues to open the door for me.
yes. so, when i first stepped into the remittance dept, nobody knew what i was supposed to do. so the gal who received me (called elene) decided to seat me in a corner. but the others said i'd be too cold, so i shifted 2 more times.
and, finally, my first assignment came. arrange fax confirmations in running order! how delightful. i think i got a little cross-eyed staring at the numbers and wondering if i saw the wrong thing.
next assignment, 2 stacks of stapled forms with a little sheet labelled "pending" - take out the little sheets and staple the forms back together! fabulously interesting. now i know why glad complained about "the stupid shits make me move boxes and type millions of small data". i shall just hope it improves, if not i shall quit.
alright i think that's all the complaining i shall do. my colleagues are actually quite nice, they're more predisposed to talking to me than my ex-colleagues somehow. maybe they're younger or something, i don't know. or maybe they're not managers. or maybe cos the concept is different, managers don't sit in a separate room.
anyway they were so cute, kept asking me if i brought a jacket/wanted one.. i think they suffered hugely yesterday cos the aircon was just diverted to their remittance room and it was super cold for the morning until the guys came to fix it in the afternoon. elene's hilarious, she had to bundle herself up to guard against the cold and complained when anyone asked her to do stuff that required moving from her seat cos she'd just arranged her shawl over her lap to her liking and felt warm n cosy.
yeah i finally got my gic app done and submitted. happily:) their office is SO gorgeous. the whole of capital tower actually, i should suppose. and calyon is there. french bank or something. sigh.
oh and my boss (as in the boss of the remittance dept) has a daughter my age. wat is it with my getting bosses with children my age? who aren't frm rj but that's besides the point. but it's gd too i guess heh. they'll understand what it's like.
alright i've let off enough steam. oh i haven't complained about the person who called me and scolded me for sounding lackadaisical/lacklustre/bored/unenthusiastic. man. just after just two sentences n i get scolded? what did she expect me to do? shout in joy?? i happen to be in an office for gdness' sakes. gah. after one hour of taking out staples and restapling i'm not really in the best of moods. but yeah it is true i probably should try to sound more lively on the phone.
i forgot to add that i have no computer!:( or rather i don't have a login and all. sigh. so tragic. and my current chair is not as comfy as the one in my last company! sigh. no headrest. actually that chair was koped frm my ex-boss' office so that's why it's nice and comfy. aiyah. i really only appreciate things when they're gone.
oh i think joss stone's voice is quite nice. her songs are growing on me. k that sounds like i've some funny disease but nvm.
i was going to start swearing about having an awful day but watching virginia's run on HBO made me happier. although the plot was too perfect and therefore rather ridiculous. like a fairytale sort of thing. hmm. how do i put it. the characters were over-stereotyped, the plot was.. too simple to be true. yeah. augh. my language ability is deserting me. my vocabulary has gone into a downward spiral. i would like to blame it on all the people whom i've been meeting lately who don't speak english very well but nevermind.
so let me describe my horrible day.
1. didn't think properly about my gic app and happily went to sleep after reading james herriot. so.. ended up having to postpone submission of my app (which is super late as it is), cos i didn't finish filling up the form nor did i photostat all the certs. actually i could've foregone lunch w pam n lijia (and gone to photostat the certs and submit my app) but decided i mite not end up working at china square central so better meet them today.
2. yeah so when i got to the mrt station i wasn't in a very angelic mood. and my mom had to point out that i was going to miss the train cos it was in plain sight at the platform n i hadn't gotten out of the car yet. fine. had a headache in the train.
3. guy frm [recruitment agency 1] called to tell me details of another job interview at [company 1]. and i didn't have a pen so i had to memorise everything he told me. which thankfully i managed to. and quickly typed it into my phone. although it didn't matter in the end anyway.
4. got to raffles place mrt, got out at the wrong exit. or maybe it was the correct one, just that i didn't know where china square central was thanks to all the tall buildings around obstructing my view. and i didn't recognise any of them. so i was frantically scurrying around (as fast as i could on heels)
5. found out both pam n lijia couldn't make it for lunch so was walking around.. met chris! how fun:) with laura and someone else..
6. returned to the china square central building, tried to call the [company 1] pple cos i was very sure i couldn't make it there (the company's at tuas) by 3pm but no one answered.
7. so heck, went up to surpasser pte ltd. and met lijia! another coincidence. she'd just come back frm buying her office supplies. haven't seen her in ages:) and then i finally continued my journey to surpasser.
8. was waiting to watch video at surpasser and then finally managed to watch it and then halfway gal frm [recruitment agency 2] called and offered me the bank job.. 3 months assignment. which started more problems
9. now i can't teach at rj.. i was kind of looking forward to it.. but e gal said they wouldn't let me disappear off for a week. and if i don't take it i don't know if i can get another job. and this is 3 months at least so i'm kind of settled for the moment. sigh.
10. anyway, so i went back and finished the video.. all the while i was frantically trying to think of names of pple who mite possibly be able to replace me for teaching. and msging them not-so-surreptitiously
11. after that, the guy who was supposed to tell me about working hours and pay if i joined surpasser was still not available so i had to talk to some other guy and hear about his experiences. all the while i was squirming and still wondering if anyone could replace me. which carried on even while i was listening to explanations about commission and such.
12. so finally i got myself out of the office and thankfully skittered off (and got a bit lost) and conveniently forgot about the [company 1] thing until later when the guy frm [recruitment agency 1]] called up to scold me. oops. but the way my mom put it last time when i was calling up to cancel interviews.. she said they'll normally have quite a few people to interview so missing one wouldn't matter. so i took her word for it and hardened my heart.
13. actually i also figured it was past 3 by the time i got out of surpasser so wat to do.. call up the guy and tell him sorry i can't make it for the interview? then i'll get scolded for calling late too wat. watever la. i don't care anymore. i actually felt quite bad for the moment when he was scolding me. "my client spent 3 hours waiting for u!" but after that my common sense returned and i decided nobody would sit there just waiting. but yeah i should have called la. it's also not my fault my phone happened to be low on battery today and i was constantly in fear of the unthinkable happening i.e. my phone switching off on me. maybe i should have bought the holster charger. gah.
14. anyway, whatever, made my way to raffles place mrt again, down to [recruitment agency 2] to get timesheets (wat a horrible system) and sign stuff. to top it off, by the time i came down, it was raining. really heavily. waited around for a bit, couldn't stand it anymore, plus decided rain was slightly lighter, so i walked in the rain to tanjong pagar mrt. cold wet and angry. not a very good combination. at least it was time to go home. but on the mrt i got the scolding-call so that didn't help much.
heck i'm finally home and there's the silly 9pm show to watch in a bit. i realised i really don't appreciate things i have when i have them. things always look better when you look back. but there were times at total when i felt like i could just burst with the boredom/not being able to talk? don't know. so, off to sumitomo bank tomorrow, i hope i get a good experience there and that giving up the teaching was well-worth-it. if not. well. nevermind, this is my 2nd job i'm sure i'll do a better job of learning stuff and talking to pple. hopefully there'll be nice french guys too? haha. i shouldn't hope for too much.
i also just remembered i met sya while i was frantically rushing back to raffles places mrt! such a nice surprise too:) met so many pple by accident today. and all pleasant:) that kind of makes up for all the rest of the horrible parts i guess.
okay main complaints of the day:
1. not finishing my gic app
2. no lunch w pam n lijia (and reaching there late too)
3. being stuck at surpasser while having to worry about so many things
4. multiple job offers which overwhelmed me
5. not being able to teach at rj anymore
6. phone on low batt
7. not being able to contact company 1 and recruitment agency 1 (and getting scolded later)
8. parents telling me conflicting things abt choosing btwn bank job and relief teaching
i think that's about it.
met cheukka yesterday! such a silly girl:D haha and she's so unashamed of being vain.. okay let's hope she never reads this. reminds me a bit of lydia somehow. actually it is good.. not to be afraid of being yourself. yes. that is what i meant. i think sometimes i'm afraid to do something. and sometimes i'll just be like don't-care attitude and do whatever i want. mood swings huh.
anyway watched a v long engagement. it was also a v long show, come to that. 2h14mins i think. the actor's quite cute! haha. gaspard ulliel. but face a bit long or sth. don't know. and his name reminded me of ravel's gaspard de la nuit.
in any case it's quite a gd show.. just that i wish they hadn't spent so much time showing us her travelling. it got quite boring looking at the car winding thru the roads/the train screaming. but there were so many twists in the storyline! and i never knew trenches looked like that. evidently descriptions in books aren't particularly accurate. or maybe i didn't read the descriptions properly. and the explosions and no man's land. it must have been cos i haven't watched war movies before. or maybe it's cos i've read a bit on world war 1 and nothing like that ever entered my imagination.
really brought home the horror of war. esp when my batchmates are in ns. -remembers serene telling me abt her poor beh digging trenches-
let me see.. yeah we had a nice dinner at swensens.
on a side note i just remembered something to do with meeting up. it's funny sometimes how i want to see my friends for a long time, and when i finally see them i feel like i have nothing to say. there must be something very wrong with me.
and today aside from slacking at home and reading, i went to china square central for this job interview. well, looks like i'll be trying out sales. i think my heels are too high, both the guys who interviewed me were shorter than me. haha. oops. anyway. yes i was going to say.. it's such an irony.. let me list all the things i thought i didn't want/wouldn't do but want/ended up doing anyway.. here goes..
1. last yr when peiying asked me if i wanted to do accounting for 6 months i said no cos i didn't want to be tied down for so long, wanted to try more things. now i kind of wish i had a "permanent" job cos it saves me a huge lot of trouble looking for internships/jobs (and getting rejected/no replies).
2. last yr when ser asked me if i wanted to do relief teaching at rj i said no cos i didn't want to teach, thought it was super boring (and was sick of anything to do with education) when i was at work it was boring too and now i'm wondering if i should have taken that up, ended up registering with moe anyway..
3. this yr when i was thinking about jobs i didn't want to do data entry cos it sounded so boring. now i realise it's one of the few things a level students can do so i haven't much of a choice anyway
4. just a few weeks/days ago i was convinced i wasn't going to do sales and persuade pple to buy stuff cos 1 i hate being bugged by pple therefore 2 i hate bugging pple too, but now it seems like i'm going to do that anyway.
yeah. that's just for the moment, i'm sure there'll be more coming up. my mom marvels at my cynicism about working cos i told her it's just a way to torture oneself cos i can't think of anything i'll really want to do, everyth'll be boring. and she was like "but u're so young! everything should be exciting!" which is right i suppose. i should learn from ever-cheerful pple. sometimes i'm so lazy i can't stand myself. haha.
anyway.. lunch w lijia n pam on monday! yay:D
gah. i think i'm probably going to end up looking for a job until i go to rj to teach for that one week, and then go on looking for another job. this is why 6-month-long jobs are good. which i didn't realise until now. o well. it's v tiresome looking for jobs, signing up all over the place and going for "interviews" interminably.
anyway besides that.. haha i was frantically trying to decide if my bio or phys was worse yest cos aud asked if i wanted to do j1 bio (as compared to j2 physics) but i didn't defect over in the end. hopefully i survive alright. am mortally afraid of a physics shen (like a yz) asking me stuff i don't know.
ohhh and i got to go jurong library:) besides the fact that my feet were hurting quite a bit by that time from walking all over the place. and i lugged 5 books home! whee~ fortunate enough to find a new gerald durrell book! haha. much as i like reading them i still really hate insects. don't know how he can play with them and enjoy it.
and i ended up borrowing gone with the wind! haha. rather unlike me actually i don't think i read romance novels much. but since it's supposed to be the greatest love story. i'm not sure i liked it very much though. why was scarlett so stupid? oh she reminded me a little of emily of emerald hill though. the striving after power part and losing almost everything in the end.
i hate filling up forms. yay it's finally done. and i have another crappy "interview" to go for.
was in a terrible terrible mood in the morning. woke up late, cancelled interview. arranged for another one, realised the place was super ulu, cancelled it again. realised i wouldn't be able to make it for another job, cancelled that too. blah. full of crap. and mom kept going on abt choosing something meaningful or at least worthwhile to do. it's not like i don't want to find something, it just isn't that easy. or maybe i haven't been trying hard enough. but nvm, hopefully jane's contact will get me something good:)
anyway, went for the lunchtime concert. quite cool lar but i think last week was slightly more fun.. i like drums a lot! but then i think they only sound good as an accompaniment to the music.. nxt time if my cousin gets a drum set i'll ask her to play for me and see how it sounds heh:p
and had a v v yummy lunch w candice. and we met sarah by coincidence at suntec nydc! so qiao:) but haven't seen her in ages so it was good:) i don't know how we managed to while so much time away but i got home quite late oops
had a nice time! yay:) suddenly i feel like taking up tennis w fiona. but 1st must wait for her to come back frm korea so i can ask. and our dance classes which i forgot when they were supposed to start. hmm. or if they're still on, for that matter.
i wonder what it's like to be really really good at something. a feeling i'll never be able to experience, so it seems. i guess there're always pple better than u. o well. reality of life.
oh speaking of which i may actually finish compiling my quotes soon!:D then i'll hafta type them out. and i don't think i should send -all- of them to everyone. i'll think about that.
heh yesterday i went to help invigilate for srp aptitude test. was quite interesting actually it was just 2 years ago that i was in their place and then now i'm invigilating. and met chanty n dr chan. it's been a long time... and i recognised one junior.. she is so different from when i was psl of her class.. i remember she had quite short hair and etc.. now her hair is so long.. and rebonded i think.
i'm glad the deadline is tmr. chiong tonight and submit tmr.. yeah..
aiyah i wonder what happens if i can't get a job soon. and i also realised anew there're only 2 weeks left to results. groan. of cos it'll be nice to see everyone again, but in what circumstances is another thing.
i also have yet to buy myself new shoes and new bag. maybe i'm too picky.
oh! today i was at j8 and saw this pool "tournament" thing going on. some of them are actually quite lousy haha. or maybe i'm overcritical. but o well.
i think it was a nice day after all:) okay not really after all. it was really nice meeting so many people today:) lemme see.. first jane then lyd came along (aft having spent $10 to cab cos she was late) then kahli then pam + mingjing then chris then met lynette + yingling. yep. lots of lovely pple! and met laura by accident too! maybe one day we should have a huge rg gep gathering! hmmm that's an idea. but we'll probably have to book the whole restaurant or sth. heh. maybe the next holiday or something.
ah yes and then contacted two other nice pple. at least my ideal of my nice french guy isn't shattered. i think. anyway, clar is feeling happy right now:)
it's quite stressful applying for all these jobs, keep having to worry about whether i can hear my handphone ring (and leeting laughed at me yest cos i held up my bag up to my ear to see if the ringing was frm my phone or other pple's phones). oh!! which reminds me, today when i was on the bus, there was this guy (i suspect he just bought the phone, that's why he was so fascinated with it. at least i hope so.) who tested out =all= the ringtones on the samsung e800c. which incidentally is the phone that i have. therefore i recognised all the ringtones. and it was getting rather annoying. reminded me of this article which said something about testing out all the ringtones on your phone in public. to do with phone etiquette. well. that certainly applied here.
lala. i really hope i get the job i want. and hopefully it turns out to be as good as i think. aiyah but they might not even shortlist me so tragic. oh!! just now the employment agency called up to ask if i would be interested in working at BP. haha. well.. if i get it i can tell my ex-boss (and ex-colleagues) i'm now working for their rival. and clar will soon become an expert at oil. -does the queenly wave- but i tell u, if they make me compile sales data again i will really go mad.
anyway, will see what happens. now back to my mooncakes.
today's dinner was fun! haha haven't seen kahli and yingling in ages.. silly pple:) and the food was good of cos:D and then i instigated them to eat gelato. k maybe not instigated, but i wandered over there to look:) and then kahli first accused me of making her fat, then accused poor yingling.
and working w leeting is funny. i mean, when i'm spouting nonsense. haha. haven't laughed so hard in many moons. which reminds me, i saw lots of stars tonight! so lovely:)
life's like a flower, needs sunshine, water, air, and a little butterfly. wat a cute quote! anyway, am a little tired. went rj to visit ser. i hate the way you can't walk into the staffroom and look for teachers anymore.. it's like back to the rg system which i didn't like in the first place cos u couldn't go in either.. but now u don't even do the calling urself, gotta ask the receptionist. ah watever. it's a new building but it doesn't have the cosiness of the old one. or maybe i'm just being green. haha.
and then went to meet ting at orchard library. oh yippee i found 2 more gerald durrell books!:D ahh anyway i feel rather slack, should be researching on stuff for the business thing but a bit sian of it after discussing almost the whole afternoon. it's like work. doing excel and graphs in the day is quite enough without having to do it at night. but i'll probably do my researching tmr morning. ahh.
but i had loads of fun spouting rubbish at leeting:) -smug- and i finally got ser's bday present (and therefore feel broke now) and i saw a cute square bag, maybe i'll go buy it tmr! haha.