hakuna matata

hmm. rather sad reunion dinner. only realised the full extent of it when giving uncle n aunt a lift home and aunt was talking. yeah. rather a dysfunctional family my dad has. so the table was unusually empty and quiet.

yeah so the aunt whom we gave a lift to was like its so sad for grandpa cos he's so old and still got such problems.. supposed to enjoy old age and stuff but now like tt.. then i got all depressed too. well.

oh the dog's cute:) though actually i think its kinda ugly. and overactive. but it's still a nice loving dog. wish i had one! bleah. golden retriever! or a lab. or a mix.

yeah i'm quite tired now. left grandpa's hse [in tampines] at 9.20.. fetched aunt n uncle to woodlands and then went to pump petrol and then come back home. at 10.30. its like from west to east to north to west. sleep!!! haha.

yes i agree with serene tt doing s papers makes ur blanco-ing skills very polished. anyways. cny eve. quite uneventful really. 413 class lunch was quite good. haven't talked properly to puee n joon n pam in a long while:) pity everyone went off quite early though.

hmm. hope i won't be bored tonight. given that i can't speak dialect haha and its mostly adults there tonight. bleah. nvm there's still the dog to play with. hopefully.

ohh.. krishna n wuiming were really good today:) lovely! josh groban songs! ahh. i think i like foreign language songs. even though half the time i havent' the foggiest idea wat they're about.

thankew chris for lending me saltimbanco:) i was quite afraid u wudn't get my msg in time:p

hmm i remembered i wanted to write something but halfway i forgot. well. i'm at qn 8. seems okay for now but i still dunno how to do qn 1 n 3.

ohh! yes.. every monday mrs lim lets us off 10mins early cos we annoy her so much. its quite amusing:p kinda pity her i think we try her patience quite a bit. n luckily don't have to do the summary by tmr if not i'll just collapse;p

k i shall press on n finish maths s n finally feel accomplished

lovely. i'm half-sick and i have to finish my maths s tutorial by tmr so i can hand it up. ugh. and like the whole day pple have been going "haha u've to hand up".. thanks.. .... well. at least i think i won't have to hand it up for a loong time:D although it doesn't help tt i'm quite lousy at linear inequalities.

and looking at serene's/changmou's answers i feel extremely dumb and i'm like.. hmm.. how'm i ever gonna think of such things during exam.. i can't even do it now out of the exam hall.. bleargh. time to go redo the whole thing so it looks nice n presentable n mr chan won't kill me:p

clar thinks she is sick. after having a 5-hr nap [this must be the first time or at any rate it doesn't occur v often] and a sore throat and a blocked nose. ugh:( must hve been all the late nights plus not enough water. haha. well.

oh! i love "there for you" by sarah brightman and josh groban. should get like val n reginald to sing it haha. alright. i shall hafta go get somemore work done.

ah i decided i'd better not post it on my blog i'll tell u personally if u wanna noe the rest of it:)

hmm i must say 2nd auditions were really terribly boring. am very glad we escaped partway to go back n sing our last-yr songs:) it was really fun! haha and hilarious given that half the time we were laughing and i think mr toh would have vomitted blood if he heard us singing like that... but it was still fun:) miss the j3s a lot!! sigh. somehow singing those songs again bring back lots of memories. haha n poor val singing her coyote-part in iddemdem alone. and clara singing alone for crucifixus cos both christine n jan weren't around.

i hope i don't lose my voice. esp with pseudo-yoik. eeks. haha mr toh on singing an octave jump frm middle a to high a "don't u think its a v shiok sound?" or sth like tt.

hmm. clar feels slightly sick. probably lack of water again. n i don't feel like finishing my bfast. not good.

yesterday was hilarious.. junwan's classmates [namely jiaqing n pingying] are jokers.. and she's so blur n gullible!! ahahaha:D but she's v good tempered lah considering wat they did.. haha.. its the 1st time in a looong while i laughed that much:p anyways we were in kfc n then pingying had this coupon for free cone at mac's. so jiaqing gave it to junwan n sed "why don't u go redeem it at the counter?" junwan stared at it "are u sure its still valid?" ahh i'll finish it later gotta go to school to do bio prac n have choir. hmm.

ugh this sucks ssef partner just drove over to my house to get the forms and just before that i discovered that we didn't get dr raj to sign some other form. so there, someone [probably my partner cos he's submitting the form] has to go to ntu. and then he just asked me for a photo! which he didn't remind me abt b4hand so i forgot. lovely. ugh. i really thought it was just digital that was needed yeah the real photo slipped my mind and i thought he reminded me but i forgot. which wasn't the case.

yeah quite sucky. anyways on a happier note i auditioned someone frm jkms today! haha. yay. think she should be able to make it but depends.. o well. auditions are quite interesting:) and i hate using the keyboard! ugh.

haha i seem to find this staying-back-in-sch-till-late thingy quite fun somehow. but not for consecutive days i guess. i lost my treble-clef-metal-bookmark thing!! please tell me sam has it or sth.. or if not then i can find it in its proper condition tmr.. argh;(

hmm auditions were interesting. tho i must say most of them sound very airy which is to be expected but i guess after all the drilling mr toh's given us its kinda imprinted in my mind. like after i see pple like wuiming n other zai pple at jkms/concerts play piano then i can't settle for less

okay i'm kinda done with the jobshadowing report. ugh. i don't like doing reports. feel rather tired. and still got more souvenirs to do. and my fingers feel weird frm bending wire. ugh again. oh i was in quite a laughy mood today though:) which is good:)

choir today. i must say candice u're freaking me out quite a bit. anyways, besides that. got a horrendous scolding frm mr toh. in fact, 2 scoldings. once in the middle of prac and once at the end. basically the point was that we weren't passionate about making music, we had a sucky attitude and weren't bothering and therefore we should hurry up and change cos we're capable of better. and our reward should be enjoying the music.

haha then we all evacuated to the girls' toilet and then they were saying that he was having a bad day n stuff. but inspite of that i still think he made a point. though i think a lot of pple may not have thought so. and yeah so my main point like i was telling hk during the bus trip is that choir is a very classical thing. even though yes i think i wud enjoy "dessert pieces" too. and i think without having gone to jkms and doing grade 8 there plus trying for my dip i wudn't have understood that. bcos i really learnt a lot abt music and making true music there.

yeah forgot to add sth abt comparing choir sessions to my piano lessons. like when prepping for exam i usually just play exam pieces n that's it. so its like just working on classical stuff until aft exams then play more fun songs. and even then its not those pop song kind bcos honestly i think those u can just play e notes and sing along or sth n have fun on ur own.

okay i guess that's the end of my ruminations. could say lots more but nvm.

oh i also forgot to add that for once [i think?] ms tan said she missed us. however reluctant it was! haha. blooh so bored. still feel slacky

hmm. i just got back. o well. lunch at mac's with class [i shouldn't have sat with yonglai n chelsea yeah a bit bright] then back to rg w ser!:) so fun! but pity mrs kwan wasn't there. well. ms tan's lovely:) haha she was hilarious. n it was so interesting to hear abt her ex-ses n etc:D

haha chris i hope u read this: ms tan thinks tt either u/chim will settle down [ie get married 1st]. sth to do with ur personality. cudn't msg u on the spot cos my phone conked out! ah well:)

yeah.. she's so cute n funny. miss her lots. and my old class! all over again. haha. well. let me attempt to list everyone.
1steph 2puee 3xinmin 4shiqin 5candice [cheng] 6lyd 7chris 8aud 9ser 10hannah 11zhini 12woonteng 13claire 14michelle 15lijia 16peiying 17joon 18lou 19sheila 20chim 21ting 22pam 23jiahui 24jolie 25xuwen 26huichu 27amanda [seah]
yeah. i think that's all. plus me. should be correct.

but i feel bit bad for spending so much time out. and of cos dear ser was pouring out all her woes [probably like my umpteenth time listening to her rants] almost fell asleep haha sorry but yeah:p i wonder wat ms tan thought. well. like i was saying.. we're her 1st batch! and the closest, according to her.

so we saw ms hoo n chen lao shi n teoch [he's quite hilarious too] mrs see. ms ning's on maternity leave! 2nd kid = gal! so cute:) yeah i think that's about it. actually i must say i didn't really envision this when i was in sec 1. as in like especially for ms tan the way she talks to us now is so like a friend kinda thing. quite nice. u think so ser?

haha yup. so there's choir tmr. sigh. weiying quick return me my scores! haha. i wish we were learning new songs its more fun. n i lost my pseudo-yoik score! its a nice song:) hope we have a gd time tmr. haha....

yay i can load everyone's blog now!:) whee~
anyways clar is quite happy at the moment, saw my church junior and jkms studio junior. haha. and met junior class! i think they're v nice pple:) yay:) n somehow they seem like they're more talkative than we were last yr. pity couldn't stay longer to talk to them cos they had storyline. there're a pair of twins n a pair of cousins in my junior class! so fun!

hmm. yeah. am glad this week's tests are done. don't like tests. oh and there was poon pe today again. man. kinda as bad as monday's. ugh ugh! sigh. i've to get down to doing my jobshadowing report. finally;p should have done it during hols but sigh.

yay 12.30 tmr:) happy day! wonder wat i'll do. well.

there's something v wrong with my comp or sth i can't seem to load my own blog. o well. anyways to chris n peiying, clar's ends at 5.10 on mondays, 2.30 on tuesdays, 12.30 on wednesdays, 3.10 on thursdays and 12.30 on fridays! whee~:)

pe on mon was quite a horror esp when ms poon was leading us running all over the place and we hadn't the foggiest idea when we were gonna stop. i mean if you can see the end in sight its more bearable don't u think. and after all the situps and backraisers and squats and pushups i was joking w candice n eunice tt we'd be like invalid today.. can't move at all.. and candice was saying her bai ka will become crippled haha.

right. feel extremely slack. must go rectify that soon. auditions seem to be quite exciting! haha. like weiying said. but of cos they haven't really started yet -shrugs-
yeah at least today's chem test wasn't that bad. careless mistake. o well. considering i didn't prep v much for it.

oh. quote of yesterday frm ser "its those small little paper all cannot do one rite?" on our math tcher's notoriously hard "class tests" which are printed on half a4 paper [okay there's sth v wrong with that grammatically but i'm too lazy to figure out] as in the qns are not the run-of-the-mill kind. as jane probably can testify? i think:)

ah i HATE my comp. stupid adsl connection keeps switching itself off when it feels like it.
so i've to type everyth all over again.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Teacher : Correct the sentence,"A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

haha:) my favourites out of this email that my french immersion fren sent. miss being in france come to think of it. esp when i was talking to clara just now.

finally got to watch love me if you dare. or jeux d'enfants. e french title is much nicer. anyways it was hilarious sometimes, vulgar sometimes, plain weird sometimes.. typically french! haha. don't noe wat to think of it. but. i got to watch it. that's the main thing! haha.

and today was interesting. even though we took 1.5h to audition 3 pple. and i really admire val n hk cos i don't think i wud have had the patience to do wat they did. yup. now that's a virtue which i do not yet posses and need to cultivate. which is surprising given that i've spent so much time waiting all over the place e.g. terp and choir stuff like today.

okay i shall hope that my connection doesn't cut me off again.

ooh cool church junior has aud n tim yap for ogls! too bad didn't see her today though would have been fun:) i don't remember much of orientation anymore actually. just that it didn't seem like 1 yr ago.

i guess i'm quite thankful for my timetable:) though i bet a lot of pple have better ones still [e.g. double math ppl grr:p] was good to see pple tho e.g. missed pam so much. tt horrible gal still owes me an outing [which i suspect will not materialise unless its a lets-go-study-thing] somehow i see her so rarely. like peiying in the morning b4 assembly.. lijia at lectures cos her class is mostly in front of mine.. lyd after school.. come to think of it i don't see jiahui v often either hmph. this has to be a council thing. o well.

ugh it is so hard to go watch love me if you dare. :( anyways clar is feeling out of sorts and lazy now [wats new] don't feel like doing anyth at all! ultimate. more like i want to do sth but dunno wat to do.

i went to look at job attachment reports in the library. they're horrifyingly long! ugh. i can't remember half of wat i saw/did there. okay wait i didn't do anyth there. well. the pple were all so detailed n stuff. help!:S

oh yes i have figured something out. i prefer going out in small grps than large ones. its easier to talk. in general. like today. when our class thing dwindled to 5 pple haha. and like my last post. that's sth very impt tt i just figured out. haha slow huh o well.

anyways. being j2 is freaky. and i've absolutely no idea wat to do in uni/where to apply to/whether i can get a scholarship [which determines whether i can go overseas in the 1st place]. ugh.

hmm. yesterday really wasn't my day. today? hmm. not that much better. had to climb 6 flights of stairs twice! due to 1) lift under maintenance 2)lousy memory. nvm at least i'll still get my 200bucks haha:D

yesterday e bus ride was quite funny. esp when conrad [i think] was complaining abt how our body should have been engineered to last for longer time in good condition so hk [i think] sed he should be an elephant instead. (do they live v long? ah watever.) so remembering finding nemo i was saying why doesn't he go be a sea turtle instead. in which conrad replied tt sea turtles didn't do anyth but swim around. can't eat or do anyth. so either hk/mz sed when u're a sea turtle u don't ask for much. which was rather amusing:)
n i didn't noe tt many pple who play soccer get the same problem as my pore bro. hopefully e pig's amusing him haha. oink oink wriggle wriggle.

oh and today. terp partner sam was telling me abt going to the volcano park. so i was like wondering are the volcanos still active.. so i asked him wat if they blow up while u all are visiting? so he sed very matter-of-factly "then we all die loh". how very optimistic.

and sam was telling me abt having an ice cream party at the place where he had his sc attachment and i was being idiotic n questioning the cleanliness of the spoons in the kitchen. so he was like "oh i'm sure they do experiments in the kitchen u noe.. like.. take 2 teaspoons of oil and add to [sth] and see if they explode!" haha:p
kinda reminds me of the way anna used to talk:) miss her lots! bah.

right. i should go get hol hw done ugh. and sigh even tho i wasn't in spore for 10days i still can exceed my sms limit. underestimation is always bad. ooh there's johnny depp on cna tonight haha. let me quote liangsi "sounds so groupie"

alrighty now i shall post all my grouses abt lotr [haha] that should be ample warning. esp when i nitpick a lot. and i mean a lot. cos when i read the book i don't imagine the kters/places to look like wat they did in the movies. so if u don't wish to get annoyed by me, don't read:)

haha my fren's busy pointing out to me all the blunders in the 3 shows. -very amused-


frodo
he's quite okay actually. looks alright:) n acts quite well too for tt matter

sam
haha i really can't stand the way sam looks. and he's spposed to be nice n respectful n loyal to frodo which he certainly wasn't in the 1st 2 [or maybe only the 1st] but for rotk he was quite good
merry n pippin look a bit weird too

gollum
haha he's good. quite gross tho

gandalf
he doesn't resemble the gandalf on chris' book [haha] and somehow not as nice as the book kter. he sed quite a few sarcastic things in the book. bushy white eyebrows? hmm..

saruman
not bad actually. i thot denethor should look like him. speaking of which let me quote chris "he looks plain evil" which wasnt' spposed to be the case.

aragorn
ah i actually like him:) tho at the end when he was crowned king he started looking a bit diff somehow. n i thot it was absolutely inappropriate for the king to lunge at arwen. although i guess aft such a long absence.. but still.. he's the king! ah nvm. o yes n he doesn't look v good in real life either.

legolas
haha i was really quite amused at the way they just focus on him so much for no reason at all save to let pple enjoy eyecandy. and there was one scene he just sed 2 words n it was =so= extra. but he really looks quite good as an elf. but in real life/in pirates of caribbean, terrible. ah but i liked the scene where he climbed on the oliphaunt n started killing off pple it was v cool:) n then aft tt gimli was like "that's only counted as 1" tt was hilarious:D in fact the pair of them are hilarious. and his shooting arrows are v nice too:)

gimli
nice dwarf. v amusing:)

boromir
looks a bit weird. n faramir too. n not really very tall/proud/distinguished or watever.

elrond
i think they shudn't have gotten hugh weaving to do it. looks absolutely weird. esp aft agent smith like chris sed.

galadriel
haha. spposed to be one of the most beautiful pple. which is. sadly not the case. and she has a weird way of talking. like she has a problem. sounds spasticated really.

arwen
hmm not bad i guess she actually looks kinda elf-like. but not exactly the most beautiful either. and they purposely played up her role [like legolas haha]

eowyn
she looks positively weird too. maybe the narrowly set eyes. but also not "fair" and watever not. n i don't think she was spposed to be looking terrified when facing the lord of the nazgul.

eomer
looks kinda weird somehow. the nose or sth. but otherwise okay.

theoden
not exactly very tall either. n doesn't look v kingly.

rosie cotton looks absolutely old. i can't remember any more kters at the moment so i guess that will suffice.

and they changed quite some parts of the story. which i mind. quite a bit. like the beacons were already on fire when gandalf was riding to gondor. n they didn't need to persuade theoden to help gondor. n smeagol didn't turn frodo against sam. ah too many to list.

but i think their settings were good. tho i didn't imagine a lot of places to look like wat they were like in the movie. n the elves didn't go help them at helm's deep. tho i really like the elf archers:) way cool:) gondor either. but tt was really grand. n interesting. oh n the nazgul. i thot their steeds wud look more like birds. not dragons. although i just realised upon checking the book tt they were spposed to look a bit like bats.
mm the shire was good. very pretty:) looks rather other-worldly

oh the ents! somehow they looked a bit fragile to me. cos they were so thin n stuff. but then again on reflection they're spposed to look like trees like the birch n chesnut n watever which i sppose aren't particularly large in girth. so. sigh. resigned.

ah anyways the fight scenes were good. give them credit for those. esp when they make up the bulk of the 3 movies. ah the sam-frodo-gollum scenes are so draggy. n i don't like those parts in the book either. 3 1/2 hrs! i'll nv watch it again.

i'm actually quite tired and wondering wat i'm doing online. anyways i was having regrets abt ssef n nsts [as usual] but on reading my prof's v cheery reply to my email abt meeting to discuss those 2 things it doesn't seem so bad for now haha.

anyways. rotk! i shall critique it tmr. haha just ask chris i have so many criticisms to make. i guess i always prefer my imagination. but there're always gd things abt e movie. time to sleep!

ah i forgot to add. the static in LV is horrible! horrible horrible horrible! i hate getting electric shocks! bah. oh yes and its refreshingly cooling here in spore aft being over-cold in vegas n japan. alritey back to writing my journal [yes i decided to somehow, procrastinating with regards to hw:p]
and also i've found my lovely song! carol of the bells!:) yay! thanks to the bellagio website.. grateful for a good website haha:D

ahh. am trying to look for this christmas song which i've heard soo many times but can't put a name to. choral one. terribly frustrating!

anyways its so early.. only cos i slept at 9.30 haha. 1st thing i appreciated was spore's greenery when i got back. LV is like a real desert.. there's practically no greenery at all save the palm trees they planted for aesthetic purposes.. and they're everywhere.. but that's still kinda diff in the end.. its still artificial.. and in the outskirts its really all little grey shrubs and cacti. really ugly to me but parents didn't think so.

the hotels. well. when we first drove into aladdin i was like whoa.. its so grand.. and inside.. the decor and stuff.. but actually after a while the grandeur wore off. and seeing the hotels consisted of like visiting the casinos [haha] cos they always make u walk thru the casino to get to wherever you wanna go. my dad was saying its their ploy to make u spend money before you get to yr destination.. cos everytime we go for buffets [which was really rather often i must say] we'd to go thru this whole long walk

oh yes and i also appreciate spore's rules abt smoking.. they can just smoke anywhere in vegas.. even in aircon areas.. which is totally sucky. and that happens sometimes in france too.

so now i can name most of the big hotels. like in alphabetical order. anyways each hotel had shopping, casino and sometimes attractions like shark reef n stuff. so everytime i went to the shark reef/secret garden/dolphin habitat n etc i'd want a tiger/lion/dolphin n so on. the dolphins were really sweet tho:) n they're so smart!

okay i feel kinda robotic now. but anyway. there was horse riding too [happily;] western! i don't think i've ridden western before. major was a good horse but he didn't seem to like me very much. v easy to get him to trot:) and cheyenne [i think its a v nice name but it'll just proly get mispronounced all the time] was absolutely naughty. refused to stop! horrible mare. hmph. she'd like turn her head ard n stare at me. somehow she felt quite lazy at the beginning. and at the end she'd keep trotting. just to annoy me. cos she's not spposed to.

o yes v glad my bro came along:) he's hilarious.. he said he watched pirates of the carribean at least 10times thruout finals week.. just put it on replay and listened to the dialogue. and then he was imitating johnny depp occasionally it was quite amusing:)

ohhhh!! the shows! okay free shows were fun but the 2 others i watched were way cool:) cirque du soleil's 'o' [thanks to jane:] and the magic of rick thomas [whom my bro sed reminded him of chow yun fat] i wanted to go watch mystere at treasure island too but i guess hafta be a hse guest to get the gd seats n stuff. sigh. 2 resident shows at LV! how cool is tt. n i can never figure out how magicians perform their stuff.. he was quite funny tho kept saying he hated birds although he was working with them.

o yeah and its like on 13 dec leann rimes was performing at aladdin [while i was still on the plane grr] and then 20 dec mariah carey was performing at aladdin while celine dion was performing at caesar's palace.. actually not that i wud have watched them [i think] but just think there're so many pop concerts in vegas it really lives up to its name of entertainment city

okays am at this yahoo cafe which is free! woohoo~ at japan airport waiting for flight back. haha i found it quite amusing we go to vegas with 2 pieces of luggage and one bag each, come back with 2 luggages, 1 box, 2 bags each. anyways this jap keyboard is a leetle bit weird. therefore cant figure out the punctuation and this looks like the way jiahui smses haha:)

too lazy to type anyth more at the moment so.. shall wait till when i get home and am super bored

i decided the flight here's really tiring. and finally get to sleep on a real bed. lovely. i have a [queen size? dunno] all to myself!:) hahaha
and the comp's really well controlled there's like nothing else besides internet explorer and i can't load icq2go [hardly anyone uses icq anymore methinks] and i don't think d/ling msn wud work. so well. heck.

hotels are really really grand. but the grandeur wore off after a bit heh. having some problems finding nice show to watch crap should have booked for cirque du soleil long loong time ago:( our fault. bah. its really tiring walking around from hotel to hotel.. they're seriously huge.. and one can hardly find fastfood or cafes or stuff. mostly restaurants. dinner buffet was good tho:) luckily didn't eat lunch today.

i wanna go ride horse!:) haha. with good conditions n all. it isn't too cold yet thankfully. i forgot wat else i wanted to say so o well. shall go sleep if possible its like 1am+ here i think. can't be bothered to change watch time.

just visited my uncle's house and feel very poor. its a huge house! with rustic charm and all. and all the little nooks and crannies [sp?] which are so cute:) and fun to stick around in. decor's lovely etc. sigh. and this mini swimming pool. the architecture is wonderful!! yeah like this little thatched hse which is actually quite grand. anyways yeah i can't say enough words don't do justice.
o wait i forgot to talk abt e bad pts there're quite a few mosquitoes and LOTS of stairs so i wudn't actually want to live in it but its just really pretty:)

ugh out of 6 pple on msn 4 of them aren't replying. just wanted to tell u guys bye.. o well.. hopefully they'll hurry up n reply i've like 4 hrs left to flying off. and 2 hrs to going to airport. better remember to pack everyth.

oh i forgot the funniest thing. in the morning i was standing around novena and then this person who was working at tan tock seng stopped, looked at my sch u [wearing tt cos i'd to do metro cip later] and asked "u're from ri issit?" [i think she was from the old era when ri was a mixed sch since my mom's fren was frm there] "they're still abusing u like tt ah?" and "since you're a rafflesian i'll support u:)" it was quite amusing.. her terming comm service as abuse..

ah b4 i forget again. my 2 upper limbs are suffering from tremendous aches. sorry lyd but i am -never- ever going to help youth challenge thanks.

whole day of cip! ugh. my feet are numb. and my hands were trembling after holding that stupid heavy box [for youth challenge cip] for like 2-3hrs.. the nurses etc at tan tock seng were so unhelpful! bah.. guess they're sick of old pple..

and i hate the way pple just ignore u when u're talking to them.. i mean.. like hello i'm talking to u would u mind looking at me or at least saying something.. geez. most of the time i was trailing off in mid-sentence cos pple just walked off. that really sucks lah.

anyways the youth challenge thing was really crap. 1st of all i wudn't sell those spastic feather pens. 2ndly u tell us to meet at 8.30 and only start the stupid freaking briefing at 9.30 and waste a whole lot of time till 10+ to make sure everyone's there.. and then give us hrs only starting frm 10am.. at least for me anyway sucks.

thought metro was better. at least there're vouchers so maybe tt'll induce pple to donate haha. and i decided tt when i sound happier pple are more likely to donate. and pple frm the cosmetics/make-up area are more likely to donate too. observations from one day. which might/might not be true. anyhow.

must record the 3 funny incidents b4 i forget!
1. there were 2 ladies. one donated 1st. and gave e lucky draw thingy to hk [btw thanks for coming if not i think i'd have been really bored] and then the other one donated, gave to the 1st lady, who dumped it in the collection box and then realised her mistake.

2. another lady who said to hk "i come here everyday" so i was thinking.. how weird is that u come to metro everyday to buy stuff? not like the stuff's gonna change rite.. as if new stock comes in everyday..

3. one lady whom on hearing that $5 wud be gd for donation [since dick sed tt was spposed to be the limit for the coupon bklet], got her husband to find change cos she only had 2 $50 notes.. so btwn e 2 of them they came up with $4 in coins for me and the lady dumped it in my hands and refused the coupon bklet. i was really quite amused. but at least she was nice:)

think i've had enough. i hate asking pple for donations.

yay going to stay with jane in vegas!:) 2 or 3 nights? anyways woohoo~! :) haha jane if u stand me up on this one i'll kill u:p

oh i decided my hols have been very enriching but not so much in e area of academics haha. like terp and work attachment and church camp and rda cip. hmm. actually tts not a lot but well. time really flies

just back frm church camp. and like a 4.5h nap. cos i slept ~4hrs this morning. wasn't spposed to sleep but it really got quite boring.. there were like just 6 of us playing cards and then aft tt liesl wanted to watch e soccer match.

anyway.. on e whole.. it was good!:) yay:) actually felt quite comfy with them. and i've found fellow bridge fanatics:p haha okay not really fanatics but.. hm.. bridge-lovers? jasmine's hilarious.. and the guys.. haha.. jonathan and timotheus "i'm the indonesian maid!" [i can't remember wat jonathan said on e phone to merit that though unfortunately] and hans who gets quite impatient sometimes. can't remember much else at e moment. oh anyways i learnt to appreciate n count my blessings better. esp after jason was talking abt his army experiences i was quite horrified. poor thing!:S

and sigh i've just realised how fast time passes. tmr i'll be spending e whole day doing cip and then sat i'm flying off! and i haven't done v much hol hw or anyth. gah. which means i'll have to chao piah when i come back.. there's like jobshadowing report to be done.. and probably choir comm meetings too and stuff. and other stuff tt i planned to do. hols are too short!:S oh and terp! ugh. will have to go back to ntu

ah. ri concert was. hmm. not particularly very good i think. esp the finale. wat a horror. it was a complete fiasco. and i was like hmm how come i can't hear any of the sops besides either tiff/weiying who was behind me..
and the chord thingy for deck the hall! i'm quite horrified.. why didn't he tell us beforehand tt we'd have to play the chord ourselves ugh there was like this interminable silence when mr toh mouthed at the sops f-sharp major and no one moved and val was like "clar i can't play!" [or sth like tt] and i temporarily blanked out and then after tt then realised wat an f-sharp major chord was. argh. terrible. i bet the audience knew how unprepared we were just frm tt. oh but at least they laughed haha hopefully tt was kinda a saving grace.

and the very very long waiting. but the talking was quite interesting:) besides the fact that it kinda got into quite a bit of a bitching fest for a while. and seeing emilyn!:) happy. haven't seen her in ages.
oh and i must thank jan lots for doing my make-up:) saved me. anyways then they all started saying i looked like a doll. then i remembered how serene kept persisting in calling me a furby last time. [grr]

RDA today. i think Dunedin is a v pretty horse!:) if i ever get to buy one i want something like him:) haha. bay. nice eyes:D and he's got character the last time the rider got off him he gave [the rider] a nuzzle:) like a kiss! haha anyways it was very cute:) and Fraggle was so naughty today. i could just see the balefulness in his look. think he didn't like me very much as a sidewalker.

oh and sandra's cocker spaniel's so cute and friendly its tail kept wagging n wagging n it was very excited n curious abt everyone. and its furrier than the horses. haha. i have a penchant for furry things.

clar's verdict on herself: she is very unfit.
i just spent ~1h40mins playing squash. oh wait let me rephrase that. -attempting- to play would be more accurate, haven't the foggiest idea how it's spposed to be played so just whacked e ball around btwn e 2 lines on e wall. now i can hardly type properly. and i must admit i spent half the time picking up the ball haha:p

plus e racket's kinda old so the grip's falling apart n i ended up with black hands *big sigh* don't think i can hold a pen for a while haha this sounds like when we were doing tennis for pe module. i wonder how effective this "exercising" was hmm must try more often n hope for results.

besides that. last day of attachment. kinda sad la won't go to the clinic anymore. i hope they liked e presents tho:S or their kids for tt matter haha. and i finally realised that one of the nurses' name was hooi nee not winnie. cos i kept wondering who hooi nee was and whether she quit or sth then i finally realised aft like 5 days *shakes head* v pathetic clar.

anyways. the op was quite gross. didn't noe had to cut thru so many layers of flesh [more like fat.. could see the yellow and stuff gross huh bet candice will love this] and muscles [?] and wat not. and used so many pieces of gauze to mop up the blood [okay it wasn't that much i think caesarian probably wud have more since its a baby and all]

took out e woman's uterus bcos she had adenomyosis. [forgot wat it is shall hafta go check it out.. but i noe it resembles a fibroid. man i was going to type ressembler as in french -groan-]

anyhow for once i was looking at e real thing instead of at the screen w e help of e laparoscope. very interesting. his sewing is so neat haha. quite cool actually. i always wonder how he figures out wat is wat. and then he pulled out a bit of the large intestine to show me haha. gross huh. and stuffed it back in. okay so this description really doesn't do justice to wat he was doing but ah tts the essence of it:p

the uterus looks really tiny. like maybe just slightly bigger than the huge fibroid frm e german lady on wednesday. anyway surprisingly it wasn't so cold in e op theatre today dunno why.

i figured anasthetists have a lot to say during ops to doctors. and they seem quite slack. just sit around and be "back-seat drivers" as on monday. quite amusing. but conversation is interesting. today they were complaining abt sumiko tan. and the anasthetist was saying tt tomatoes are gd for the prostate. and one of them was thinking maybe that's why italians are so horny.
another day they were talking abt finding nemo. and the anasthetist was saying in e tearoom tt she likes watching spongebob squarepants. with no trace of embarrassment or anyth. admirable!:D hardly find adults saying such stuff i think.

hmm i seem to have ready fingers when i start typing. [variation of the "have a ready pen when i start writing"] okies time for dinner soon yay sushi!:)

totally zoned out today dunno why either. like walking in a dream. [not tt it was a very gd dream/bad dream just didn't noe wat i was doing] and i hate standing in front cos i keep getting picked on and i miss weiying! [quick be honoured if u read this] hahahaha. rite.
surprisingly enough i now prefer "have urself a merry lil xmas" to "what sweeter music" when at 1st it was the other way round. bleargh. well.

don't know what to say. thus am eating honeydew. doesn't make sense as usual. oh i was just thinking socialising is so tiring. wat a lazy clar.

hrms. this is 3rd day of work attachment.
3 major things. 1st abortion. hmm. quite horrifying.. he just sucked everyth out with this vacuum curette thingy. and then at the end all tt was left of the 5-week-old [i dunno wat u call it.. embryo?] was this jar of red liquidish stuff.

2nd yay i got to see a delivery! haha. there wasn't that much blood. i thought the whole floor was going to be full of it or sth cos he was wearing sth like wellingtons but well it was quite under control. interesting seeing the way he stitches tho. amazing how he can see wat he's doing cos i'd no idea wat was happening until the end-product was in sight n it was really neat and looked v normal. and the baby was so tiny:) happy parents tho.

3rd operation. the theatre was freezing cold. and had to change into the green garb [as candice calls it] which was freaking thin. so yeah i was standing around freezing for 1/2hr+ at least it wasn't too long.

laproscopy i think it was called? hmm website spells it as laparoscopy anyways for sure its keyhole surgery. and got to see everyth inside like intestines [i think:] e uterus n ovaries n stuff.

tho the cyst was quite gross. lemme try remember e name.. ah just checked. dermoid cyst. like it had hair and pus and stuff. ugh. was quite surprised that the doc just had to tear it frm the ovary.. only one part had to be cut with this instrument [forgot e name] and this woman kept standing rite in front of me n blocking my view.

afternoon. hmm. saw a 134.5kg pregnant lady. she's like.. 3 times my weight or sth. this little boy was so cute he was fascinated with me n offered me a sweet that the nurse gave him. and there was one cancer case which was very depressing.

came home in a rather bad mood dunno why mom is trying to pry some reason out of me so i told her i was hungry [true to an extent] wonder if i shud have decided to go RDA tmr. hmm. or go on fri for the leader workshop. but on fri so many pple signed up! i think they have an excess of volunteers. and they still welcome somemore. sigh.

i want to buy a horse and a dog [preferably a golden retriever/lab or a mix or anyth tt i like haha] but 1st i'd have to be rich. hais. feel jaded. don't feel like doing anyth. n i hate the way half the books i bought have to have vulgarities. maybe i shud get desensitised. sucky crap.

oh. last fri. this couple came in. doc "how long have u been married for?" [femme was 3 mths pregnant] couple "we're getting married tmr" i was so shocked esp when the doc cud just calmly go on with his questioning/congratulating/watever.

k dinner. hopefully i'll be happier aft eating haha:D

clar is super tired. like. really cannot take it anymore. but i got a leetle bit more energetic upon switching on e comp haha. anyways i gotta charge my phone for a while, don't really like e thought of leaving charging for the whole night. yeah.

anyways. yes. i realised today's gala premiere brother bear was quite similar to le papillon. and also to finding nemo. like journey with one crabby guy looking for a destination and then a spastic companion who annoys the crabby guy. yup. very similar. just the characters that they use. like bear, human, fish. haha. quite cute actually. i was even thinking they should go and do a horse one when i remember spirit stallion of the [simarillion?? tt sounds like tolkien's book] anyways i can't remember e exact name but yeah. haven't watched it yet tho.

i must try n remember some quotes frm kai n cheukka frm yesterday. tho actually today lyd was quite silly [as usual;p] forcing poor joon to finish every bit of pasta and admonishing her for every morsel left behind on e plate. hilarious:D -stomachache frm laughing- joon too.

ah. attachment. too tired to type very detailed stuff. ultrasound's cool but a lot of stuff gets quite routine aft a while cos pple either fall under the fibroid/normal check-up [look at uterus/ovaries] or the pregnancy category. which reminds me there was this very cute couple who were so happy over the pregnancy which made me v happy for them too:) and another couple [husb frm rj, wife frm nj] who were absolutely hilarious. e wife sed her husb was nuts and pathetically squeamish and kept making a whole lot of crazy comments.

kk my eyes have been red for quite a while and i'm dead tired so off to bed! -relief-

ooh poor clar's legs are freaking tired. walking frm cine to fish&co glass hse is quite hmm. plus stops at centrepoint and plaza sing. glad i got mommy's pressie hope she likes it:)

woah backgrd is super noisy. father is trying to help resolve some family conflict its quite funny actually if u look at it lightheartedly.. like.. dysfunctional? i dunno. haha he's like taking charge like he's the boss. wielding all e power.

well dinner was quite hilarious. little foursome was so fun:) lovely memories. and silly pple like us:p oww left foot is having pins n needles. anyways papillon was quite funny but heartwarming to an extent too. felt it could have been longer tho.

ah i'll post my complaints abt lotr sometime soon i guess. tho i think lotsa pple will be after my neck hehe:p time to watch my french show on central! whee~

clar is in a rather bad mood. haha like rollercoaster. cos while i'm blogging i see my last post which says clar is v happy. anyhow. i don't know. cumulation of little crap. sigh hopefully tmr's dinner will make it all fine:) =looking foward= yay:) -temporarily happier-

wat to do? quoi faire. je pense que j'ai peur de trop. mais ce n'est pas vraiment juste si je le fais. haha oh dear i forgot the french word for worry! the SE verb. crap. i think angoisser is. but the other one. ah! s'inquieter. just checked haha how sad! je m'inquiete trop aussi.

yay clar is a v happy clar today:) i'm $100 richer! haha and $200 more to come!:):) whee~ i guess i kinda get a better deal than e SRP ppl huh ;) haha. just tt i somehow think SRP has more recognition though. but still. hahaha! it kinda paid off

was v glad we managed to get our gold if not i'd feel so bad for breaking prof's tradition [past 3 yrs his grps always get gold] ladida:) haha hope choir was okay.. but if it was fun then i'd have missed it! blah watever. i figured going back to sing for 45mins wasn't very practical. n i'd have to sing in court shoes/horrible skirt/long sleeves

and oh i met a lot of nice pple:) yay:)

was actually feeling quite happy after talking to my ex-piano tcher but after tt all sorts of little crappy things disturbed me quite a bit. ah heck. concert on tues! haha yay will be able to find more nice songs whee~ :)

aiyah i want my finding nemo dvd! .. patience clar .. o well. i shall go watch somemore of my vcds bwaha:) my hols are really.. haha.. hmm.. and suddenly nearing the end of terp i kind of appreciate learning all the extra stuff:) although tts probably cos its nearing the end. haha. and i still hate waiting around in the lab/outside. bleah!:p haha. okay my good mood has kind of returned yay:)

sigh i was actually quite happy upon returning frm terp. cos i managed to find an explanation to sth in the ppt!:) and pointed out sth else. whee~ but.. on getting home.. haha.. forget it.. its quite dumb anyhow. not worth it. plus i'm probably just being me as usual. hate this. sigh. now lemme go find sth nice to watch on tv tonight:)

whee~ i'm currently on a bit of a high. cos i found my vcd!:) am so grateful:) haha. but i guess watching it 2 nights after i watched it for the 1st time wasn't such a great idea. but it was still good:) yay!:) i was so afraid i wudn't be able to find it.. and then poof! decided to follow my mom to westmall n pop into e shop n found it! yay yay yay:) lovely show.

btw does anyone have e vcd for amelie de montmartre? mom taped for me on wed nite [central] but somehow the stupid tape stopped n there was like ~15mins left? so dunno how it ended! so annoying. hais. plus all e flies were attracted to the living room light n landing all over e place. !!

o yes n i wanna buy e vcd for imptance of being earnest! hais. o i was rather surprised my mom didn't like question me why i was buying e vcd today [esp since its like chinese] like the other time when i wanted to buy anna n e king.

anyhow clar's happy for the moment. at least makes up for the sinking feeling that i felt when i woke up. that today's sunday. n tmr's monday. equals terp again. its like tt horrible lab is my 2nd home for e moment. i think i'd rather spend my time in sch.. at least there're more pple there tt i noe:p at least aft sat it'll be over! n then there's ssef nxt yr too. haha.
ah watever.. and work attachment.. n hopefully i can go get my horse cip done yay:)

ooh. just back frm e french farewell party for m dremaux. and from fetching serene n cheukka home. i must admit the funnest part was when we were doing e wrapping. and all tt was missing was yunlei. haha:) brought back so many memories. esp when i was looking at the photos today afternoon.

anyways. the wrapping. so. ziwei n kai-lyn bought a present. and wrapping paper. so we went up to crystal's room [which is really cool! like this attic cosy corner:] to wrap it. no scotch tape to be found in the house! [wow. quite unbelievable] so we'd to figure out some way to wrap it without using scotch tape.

the whole scene reminded me of the farewell for the french correspondants too.. when we [me cheuk kai yun] were at kai-lyn's corresp's flat wrapping kai's pres [i think] and kai was "boasting abt her superb scotch-tape cutting skills" [quote yun] and yun herself was boasting abt her own superb gift-wrapping skills. which ended up really funny.

so. after many failed attempts to wrap it we finally somewhat succeeded with some cooperation. and kai-lyn's suggestion during e gift-wrapping "let's wrap it up with a telephone wire!" [after seeing e wire lying about in crystal's room] typical kai-lyn crap.. which i kinda miss actually;p haha

therefore the gift was wrapped. but the flap wudn't stay down! kai's brilliant solution: use glue! [and it refused to stick] so it was like a self-opening present. ah some things can't be adequately described in words but it was hilarious:) n really fun:)

mme faussat's son is so cute! n she n m quenot are hilarious:) n "drunk" jireh in denial. and deprived liangsi. haha so crappy. anyhow. must have tt outing real soon. after all e memories start coming back.

aiyahs i thought i'd forgotten abt french but after reading other ppl's entries on yest's paper i'm like.. crap.. wat if i really screwed up.. esp when i think i'm one of the very few who actually ventured to do the passe simple qn.. but i don't remember using much passe simple.. mostly description [therefore imparfait] and flashbacks to stuff tt happened in the past of the past [therefore plus-que-parfait]

someone reassure me i didn't screw up the paper. sigh. and hearing liangsi complain a lil abt how she forgot it was remplace par [i got it wrong too] made me a lil more depressed. n i felt like wanted to give up after the 1st 1/2h.. stared at compre qns.. din noe how to rephrase.. had no ideas for compo.. fabricate some pathetic narrative or go find arguments for the other one? hais

anyways. enough of french. now about pw. i have so many grouses i dunno where to start. haha. n i don't think i'll feel v happy if i bitch abt everyth i want to here cos.. well.. not nice. yeah. presentation. haha. watever. hope i didn't screw it up too badly. and the Q&A! e way they were nodding aft i finished seemed like "okay.. she can't give u anyth better.. forget abt asking anyth more"

and the file! very dissatisfied.. sigh sometimes i wonder if lyd was right.. abt how it wud be v diff if it were done in rg. i don't noe. somehow i don't really remember our projs being of exemplary quality.. *shrugs* can't remember.. maybe it wasn't though.. somehow i always felt that watever grp i was in we weren't v productive.

and i wanted to go join candice n siewjin n yaozong n junming for lunch or watever it is they're doing but no.. i have terp.. and then the presentation is nxt sat.. so more stress.. and tt also means reading up on PLASMA and FARADAY CUPS for the whole of nxt week.. i hate Q&A..

basically i've no free time. hardly enough. why do i get myself into so much freaking crap is a mystery to me. n i think i complain a lot.

just had listening. think it was okay:) hopefully:)
so. last paper tomorrow. in a last-ditch attempt i've been swamping myself in frenchy stuff until i almost feel like i'm in france! hais. so i'm taking a break for now. since i've just finished a paper. it has also made me extremely hungry.

hmm. so. 5 years of french. i can't really remember much abt sec1. mme gwee. besides e fact tt i sat w chris till she quit. n 1/2 e time i cudn't really figure out wat was happening so i'd just copy off her:D and i remember serene sitting with linda and they always made a whole lot of noise:p

sec2 n 3. m. yong. super nice. but lotsa weird stories:p n sometimes got a bit boring. and his roleplays! left me quite sian at times haha:) didn't really like them cos they were so crappy. but so nice of him to send postcard:) oh!! and his end-of-the-yr games and prizes.. i think e 1st french book i owned was frm him:) and all the feasts too haha yummy:)

oh and he went off to france for a while n m quenot came in.. he was hilarious:D n ser w her crush [rite? if i remember correctly] his horrified expressions at our pathetic french n freaky ideas [like locking sb into e cupboard until he confessed] n joon's command of e language:p still remember some phrase to do with a valley n joon kept giving the wrong preposition, one of which caused e valley to be climbing up the mountain or sth:p
and also tt time when we were throwing notebooks/dictionaries across e room behind his back n making a whole lot of noise

sec4. mme faussat. oh no wait actually i was assigned to m dremaux's class but the beginning was really horrible. like. cold envt. and french names.. virginie??!! was i glad i managed to escape to mme faussat's class. haha. altho tt was the super-power class.. with all the french shen2s..
well anyways she was really very hilarious.. i think every lessons i cud find a quotable quote from her.. tt also cos of crystal [lee]'s and ningqi's conversations with her.. but also remember she got pissed at us in the beginning cos we all weren't talking.. oh and she was also saying she'd become deaf in the moelc classrooms, just a matter of time:D

and in the middle of last yr we had the 4.30 class thanks to spastic rg's extra classes.. back to m. dremaux.. and with more french names.. ugh.. at least this time we cud choose..

so skip to this yr. straight 2-hr lessons. with m dremaux. well. wat can i say. at 5.30.. when i'm usually half asleep.. no matter wat time i sleep at nite.. o well..

oh. yes. and immersion. it was so so fun:) which reminds me.. oh dear.. still haven't met up to exchange photos! sigh. anyhow. i'm not sure i got along v well with my correspondant. but. besides tt.

well. guess tts all e reminiscing i'll do for today. hopefully i spelt tt correctly hmmm.. haha.. heck.. more french! tmr's gonna be freaking busy. 2h45 paper, to sch for pw, to ntu for terp. no lunch. well.

i'm in a freaking bad mood. hah. 1st. pw. 2nd. french crap. don't noe la.. i think its mostly pw tho.

okay. so we didn't rehearse b4 presenting in front of mrs cheong. given tt i added all tt stuff last nite.. a bit bound to get into trouble yeah. and given tt zj only had a cursory look at the presentation b4 we started. so of cos the clicking was terrible. esp for mine since i added stuff. and then somehow the animations were totally screwed up, such tt the points came out in halves [miraculous huh] which was actually quite hilarious at first but after tt i was wondering how it happened.

n i totally screwed up the question-answering. somehow just blurted out the wrong thing n had to attempt to save myself [rather unsuccessfully i mite add, just ended up confusing mrs cheong]

yeah. so given tt the whole op was a fiasco and it was spposed to be better than the 1st one.. um.. yay? esp all tt freaking time i spent last nite.. so annoying

oh one funny thing. when we [my pw grp] n matthew [frm e other pw grp] went to look for mrs cheong in e staffrm, matthew thot his grp disappeared when they were actually waiting outside. so later when both our grps were at the classroom junming got a msg frm mrs cheong "we're at 2-6. matthew is with us." given tt we were ALL at the classrm n she wasn't in sight tt was quite funny:D

anyway. so it didn't help tt ser called me twice for fun [and my batt was running low] and my mom was asking abt e op when i had low batt. n later ser didn't reply to my smses asking where they were so i'd to call her n ting [who both didn't pick up i mite add] got rather annoyed. but at least aft i met them it was fine for those few hours.. at least.:) thanks for a great time:) tho SOMEONE as usual kept whining abt SOMEONE else. bwaha:D diaoing time! but i've probably done enough of tt today.

so. french. n i thought no problem with french class n pw on monday cos usually french is at 5.30. but no! dremaux says tt he has invigilating in e morning n classrms are all occupied in the evening so we've to have class in the library which closes at 5. um. yay? since i've to be at pw oral presentation frm 12.45 to 4.30. so i got quite pissed off again cos its like.. hmm.. this is partly my fault i haven't started revising/anyth.. n i really need help for essays esp which he's doing on mon. SUCKS.

wat with
1)pw
2)terp
3)french ao's
4)cip form in by fri n the real cip to do
5)work attachment
how is tt possible tt post promos seems as stressful as pre promos?

today was.. quite fun too!:) yay. watched matrix revolutions. [for those who haven't watched n don't want me to spoil the show, skip the nxt 2 paras]

i still prefer the 1st matrix somehow. well. reloaded didn't live up to expectations. revolutions. mm. i dunno. how could they kill off the hero n the heroine! tt was so tragic. hmph. i wud have wanted to see them fight somemore. haha. tho i thot the fight btwn agent smith n neo was quite dumb actually. since when do pple fight and rise in perfect spirals.

thought their "APUs" [watever they stand for] are quite funny n cool:) tho during the scene where they just showed the nice formation of APUs n watever machines i was quite amused n was like "hmm.. okay.. pretty formation.. yay.. watever.." and haha at least they didn't have much time for love scenes. tho i thought just for that scene where one of the captains [or commandos or sth?] was slashed across the face by lotsa sentinels, they mite have rated it nc-16. haha. it was so gross.

speaking of which, after i read some stuff online i find tt some stuff was cut out of reloaded? either that or i forgot [which is actually kinda fast] cos they had something about a "ghost" [whom i have no idea who it is] and niobe kissing persephone [is tt her name?]

ah. then went pooling. which was kinda fun cos i haven't pooled in like.. 6+months. how sad. and actually found somewhere which doesn't mind having u in wearing sch u. so much easier than changing. bwaha:D my aiming is quite pathetic haha. with me n siewjin against her, grace only narrowly lost.. so we were like.. go join shaun n dasheng.. can promote her to major league liao. n siewjin n i took like 1/2h to finish one game how sad is tt. haha.. she was like.. "cannot make it.." the whole time

hols = pw, french aos, terp, work attachment, cip, dunno wat else [in chronological order] bleargh:( wish i weren't so busy. doesn't seem v attractive to me. but again if i didn't have stuff then i'd probably be super bored. aah. but at the moment, bad mood cos its like 12+ i'm tired i wanna go sleep but i've to fake stupid grp evaluation of sources by tmr n i think my minutes are quite horrible:(

ooh. quite a nice day:) actually i dunno why also. haha. i was kinda surprised mr toh made me sing sop1 for the song but tts fine by me.. although my voice was in quite a horrible condition today didn't sound the way i wanted it to. relegated back to the front row. how tragic:P o well.

and during e break i ran over to visit my mom [who happened to be talking to mrs cheong] bwaha. trust my dad to rant on and on abt chorale.. it was rather hilarious actually later mrs cheong was telling me she's glad she's not e chorale tcher.. who wud have to face his tirade.. and sed he got very worked up [sigh] typical daddy. o well. hopefully she accepted my explanation n doesn't like go n pass on my dad's complaints or sth. i guess if she waters it down it wudn't be so bad.

somehow i think the car breaking down was quite amusing:D like suddenly.. oh! no more car. haha. so i was hanging around sch n sort of catching up with ppl e.g. jiahui selene mingjing. quite fun:)

and it was also very interesting hearing abt wat e tchers said. i mean like. hmm. with abbb i'm considered a "strong student". by mrs cheong. haha. okay. watever. at least she was nice:D and ms tan's "heart-to-heart talks" with pple who won't be able to take chem s but want appeal. erps. hmmm.. -quizzical- and mr chan [ter yue] sed i'm hardworking [or a gd student or sth to tt extent] compared with last semester's "looks dazed and lost in class" .. HMMM.. very suspicious..

and mr chan [cheow hwa] who says he only remembers me asking him ONE question n nothing else [well tt was only bcos no one else in e class knew how to do] and my dad sed he was v pitiful cos he was saying nobody answers him in class when he asks if everything's alright.. tt kinda happens during every class just tt i guess the rest of the tchers gave up or sth.

and mrs lim!! hahahaha.. her comments were e most amusing.. apparently when my mom sat down she sed 'oh!! u look so much like clarissa [or maybe its the other way round i forgot] demure, cultured, soft-spoken, gentle, etc' u get the idea. i was laughing my head off in the car. i'm "well-behaved". dunno wat else.

one of them sed i'm usually v quiet in class but once in a while will start whispering to my frens and start talking a lot. somehow i bet tt was ms jeanne tan n its probably serene's fault cos she always talks so much. she sed i was weak in organic chem [i don't think so!!] and energetics [yeah this one i admit i somehow can't do e qns during exams]

french yesterday was quite funny. yes jireh shuddup abt my pathetic rephrasing will u :p i still like e avocat thingy:p
after listening compre
liangsi "wat was that avocat thing?"
m. dremaux "avocado?"
jireh "oh so he hired an avocado to represent him in court?"
so my mental picture was this huge fruit [like those cartoon fruit thingies] with hands and legs and eyes holding a briefcase striding into court.

hmm. today's "class breakfast as bonding activity" was quite hilarious. given that it was in place of a phys tutorial cos most of us forgot to bring tys [i really really thought we didn't need tys haha.. just remembered to bring e tutorial only] so someone suggested we have bonding activity [brought over frm e civics EQ thingy bwaha:D]

and mrs cheong seemed so set on making sure the class bfast thingy materialised.. -amused-.. anyways i think we needed it la.. the way we're so segregated most of the time.. heard so much stuff frm her it was quite interesting:) and i can't imagine why she doesn't want to let us know her bday.. weird.. oh and i [okay my whole class]

speaking of bdays, didn't noe ms tan's bday was yesterday! ahh.. quote eunice: "we should have made her happy instead of pissing her off" and no wonder she was wearing contacts. haha.

argh. now i dunno wat to do abt job attachment. don't know if i want to go. don't know what i should do abt choir. don't know about holiday. help. :( decision making time! my worst nightmare. blah. oh and i would gladly drop bio for french a's just that i think my french has been deteriorating steadily since beginning of e yr!:( and it mite not work out v well either. bleah:(

bah. not very satisfied with results. keep feeling like i haven't reached my full potential. or maybe i'm just getting stupid:S or my class pple [esp e guys] are phenomenally smart. [which is true but that's kind of besides the point]. put it this way, i believe i'm capable of better. throughout the whole yr i've never been satisfied with any marks.

ah i sound like this super-competitive exam-crazed maniac. forget it. somehow ABBBB3 just doesn't cut it. esp when i missed A for chem by 1 mark! *screams n pulls hair out* bah. annoying. n maths was full of careless mistakes.. hopefully phys wasn't another whole lot of rubbishy mistakes as well. cos i thot i could get a higher b instead of a mid one. watever. n i feel like dropping bio.. its so tedious to study and so hard to get results [for me anyway] talk about a very lazy clar.

i should just thank god i can take s papers. yup. but its just expectations of myself from myself. was falling asleep during french. was thinking it'll be quite cool to study in france and come back and be able to speak french fluently like a native! like.. total immersion.. not like last yr's thingy when we could fall back on english most of the time.. but the price to pay.. haha.. learning everyth in french? mmm.. hmm... haha..

haha i love gerald durrell's "my family and other animals".. was laughing like mad last night while reading it.. his family members make the most hilarious remarks! my mom must have thought i'd turned into a hyena.. practically howling with laughter every few minutes:D nice stress relief

pleasant surprise today!:) i had a great time tonight.. had dinner w leeting n xuwen n hannah n grace n guanzhen [whom i didn't noe was going to appear actually haha] and it was hilarious.. wat with ting buying a happy meal [oops hopefully pple won't think the worse of her for that:p] n us all having lotsa fun with the little car haha;D and xuwen stealing food + drink from everyone cos she had mac's for lunch

and after that ting xuwen hannah n i went on to westmall.. none of us possessed a pen, of which ting was quite anxious to get so she could pen something on pam's photo. so we decided to go to popular. and had a hilarious time there. partly cos of ting's silly remarks and my sarcasm [or ridiculous remarks made with a straight face] whichever way u choose to look at it. i guess it encompassed both.

anyways. 1stly she forgot to bring my present. of which the only thing she would say was that it was "made of goblin's silver" and had something to do with "the quiet sound of cats' footsteps", watever that meant. and accused me of not having read enough children's storybooks to noe wat she meant. sed she got it from some goblin's book. in which i replied sarcastically tt it was SO obvious which book she got it from. so i wandered over to look at enid blyton's books. and actually found a book entitled the goblin's workshop or sth like tt. ah basically we were just having lotsa fun being silly.

and after that i decided to measure my height from this hanging chart [which obviously wasn't at the correct height] and happily sed "oh look! i'm 1.6!" so leeting took the chart off and positioned it somewhere at my waist and sed "oh come on u're 2.something!"

so. we wandered from children's books to teenage fiction. and then leeting walked into the chinese children's section n sed she needed those books cos her chinese was deteriorating terribly. in which i sed i consoled myself with the fact tt at least she turned to her left instead of the right. ["preschool books" was on the right]

ah actually after typing all tt out it sounds quite dumb. nvm for my own amusement:) so later we ended up at shop n save. n then leeting wanted to buy some dried satay fish thingy. n xuwen didn't want to buy for herself cos she wud get sore throat. so hannah was like "oh pw issit" and leeting asked "ur pw is about sore throats?" the look on xuwen's face was priceless. [in fact she gave quite a few priceless looks thruout the night] so she patiently proceeded to explain that "for my pw presentation, unlike yours, my group has to open their mouths and speak. so, if i buy that i'll just eat and eat and might get a sore throat, which would somewhat affect the quality of my presentation". something to that effect. i forgot the 2nd part of wat she sed so tt's a summary. rather poor one tho.

think there was somemore hilarious stuff but can't really remember. its been a really long time since i've laughed so much on an outing.. must be something to do with orchard road.. haha.. tho actually i think i've laughed a lot during some lecture or another.. with serene.. well anyways i never knew xuwen was so sarcastic/ridiculous too. despite being in the same sec 3 n 4 class. n i enjoyed myself so much seems like there hasn't been a time as good. but again it always seems so at that point in time.

anyway what matters is that i had tons of fun!:) its quite surprising how u can manage to have a great time with pple whom u least expect it with. not that i was expecting to be bored/anyth but yeah just didn't think it wud be as fun as it was:) so clar is happy!:) and on a high. even with the thought of terp tmr. haha.

heh. i'm quite sick of open house actually. maybe i should have gone to join OH team. don't know. hardly see anyone around except chorale pple. not that they're not nice. but well. seems like its a pure-choir week or so.

and it was a v pleasant surprise!:) my book! haha.. quite amazing how candice could buy the exact book [okay not the exact book but the author anyhow] tt i wanted/was planning to buy.. quite cool:) made me happy anyway

oh n it was also a pleasant surprise tt mr toh praised sops for being the most prepared/confident among the sections.. kudos to val n tiff!:) bwaha

anyway i think i sound like i've gone mad but i'd rather hurry up n get results back.. the wait seems interminable.. but again if i screw up everything i'll probably be very unhappy n wishing tt i nv got results back. aiyah.

oh i must make sure i watch all the dances [dance club, rhythmic gym performance] and every faction's cheerleading! :):):) after being deprived of the cheerleading cos of choir prac [still remember it was e day b4 finals tt why cannot pon] i must see it tmr! whee~ hope it'll be a nice day

n i must buy all e books i want by this weekend yay:)
my poor legs are so tired from ~5hrs of standing thanks to choir [sectionals in a TS without chairs; combined in LT standing in front of mr toh w/o chairs] i had to come home n lie on the bed n recuperate. still very tired legs.

oh n i forgot to add, jireh's n amogh's emceeing = hilarious n so crappy.. ah well.. at least it's fun:)

ooh surprisingly pw was quite amusing today.. we were all so bitter n being so sarcastic abt it.. raphael's crappy comments especially.. then we'll all add in our crap and start laughing n laughing.. and somehow i have no idea why but they found my typing very hilarious.. esp zj.. she keeps laughing at me! hmph. ah anyways so i was typing out the report cos couldn't find e diskette then e keyboard was making lotsa noise and i was just staring at the paper and not at the keyboard/screen which they all found very amusing. oh well.

n i very intelligently totally forgot about 1+ being peak hour so decided to take shaun's advice n take bus to get to orchard.. which ended up taking us 1hr.. to walk frm sch to bus stop n taking e bus. ugh. luckily chris n lyd came over to meet me!:) whee~ at 1st was rather quiet. don't know why it seems to be becoming a habit. until lyd started complaining i wasn't saying anything. so i reverted to my usual caustic self [if tt's accurate hmm i must go ask chris] n enjoyed it. somehow i feel like i've been repressing my usual sarcasm and trying to be a nice person cos not everybody takes sarcasm very well esp if they don't know me. wonder if that's accurate too but i just realised it today i think. i miss being sarcastic. okay i think i sound like a madwoman. haha:D oh well

okay. yay. so i totally screwed up bio. spent ~50mins on mcq. haha. how stupid can i get. and they didn't give us a recommendation! ugh. 30marks. main paper i was left with 1h40+ for 95marks. n i think i chose the wrong essay question. just realised how challenging it was when i was writing a). by then, too late. left ~10+marks blank. yay. hope for c.

was glad [and pleasantly surprised] that my classmates were so on about watching seabiscuit;) but i was kinda disappointed by the show. guess its better not read the book before watching. cos u get preconceived ideas. and when they aren't fulfilled.. well.. disappointment. the rest of them really enjoyed it though which is great:) but i didn't really.. think the book's descriptions were more graphic.. imagination!:) mm.. i want to buy some more real horse racing books haha.. somehow true stories are more.. heartwarming?

had a lot of grouses about characters and how they were portrayed and wat the director should have included but i guess it wud have dragged to 4hrs:p but it was really nice having a movie on horses:) and the horse races! fun:) exhilaration!

disappointed didn't get to buy my brave new world frm kino cos by the time we finished dinner it was like 10.10 n kino was closed! -sigh- so near yet so far.

doesn't help i've pw tmr. cos mrs cheong has so many complaints. FIFTH draft. like.. wth.. i'm totally SICK and TIRED of looking at that stupid report. and editing. and cutting words. basically i'm in quite a foul mood now dunno why.

plus i've to go and do sth abt my TERP. n i think choir pple will be after me for attendance soon. :S my life is full of unpleasant things. haha okay fine so i'm being really pessimistic n everyth..

!! -v annoyed- messed up math. stupid careless mistakes. theta, cos graph <1, 3d trig, graph sketching. CRAP. it might just cost me an a. which is horrible! grr. dunno wat else is wrong:( wonder wat my percentage + percentile's gonna be man. ugh.

ugh.. someone tell me how i'm gonna do chem s paper.. aahh... actually on 2nd thoughts maybe it was cos i was too stressed abt getting a to do s paper to think properly. and i dunno how much stuff i've gotten wrong. hopefully don't minus more than 20marks so i can still scrape my a. haha. hope. i wonder if phys/chem was better. guess we'll have to see e marks.
watever it is i shall make sure i ace maths tmr.. ugh.. my grades are terrible this yr:S

sigh and i spent most of yesterday slacking. bad clar. esp when i look at past yr promo papers n freeze in horror. for every single subject! ugh

haha. i'm done for. yay. totally screwed up my french orals today. it was how traumatising. hellish. watever. i came out, my hopes totally dashed. [or as wat i sed to chris, i went in weak kneed, came out ready to collapse]

so i think the presentation was okay.. but i kept looking up n down frm my cards to the examiners.. haha.. and i think they were quite interested in the pics. which is good i sppose. kinda glad faussat was our invigilator haha she's nice at least. glad she wasn't e examiner if not i'll totally freak.

come to conversation. when do u usually eat cheese? judging frm my experience last yr, i guess its aft dinner like a dessert. why? guessed tt it'll spoil the dinner if taken before. haha. i have no idea. really. how pathetic is that.

so is cheese in provence a v impt industry? i dun tink so cos it doesn't produce v well known cheese. so i sed maybe its known for their port [haha]. cos all i noe abt provence is tt its near the sea. and marseille's bouillabaisse is v well known. total crap la.
then i elaborated that rhone alpes is probably more cheese orientated cos it produces more cheese and more of those AOC ones.

so he went on to say oh so cheese is a symbol of france.. wat else is there? so i named wine, fashion, maybe the language cos they speak french n everyone else speaks english, mostly.
then he says.. oh.. wat else is there? poor desperate clar who is having a mind block can't think of anyth else. and if that weren't enough, he goes on asking.. oh.. then wat product in spore really reminds u of france? besides those in the categories i've already mentioned.. and i'm like.. i really really can't think of anyth else cos i think those 4 categories encompass everyth.

and i dug my own grave by mentioning singlish as the symbol of spore.. [which was the nxt qn] cos serene got it as her conversation topic the last time.. n we were talking abt it b4hand.. so he started raining more questions on singlish.. is it impt? is e speak gd english campaign impt? should we scrap singlish? can we? blah blah blah.. on and on.. for like ~20mins.. or maybe 15+.. i can't remember wat the time was when we started. altho there was this huge digital clock on the table. just noe i ended at 3.27 [according to tt clock] and it seemed like eternity.

worst oral i ever had man. or so it seems. when i'm put in a spot n really have no idea wat to say. and when the examiner keeps raining questions on u without stop without pause without any break to like calm down or sth.. i was so desperately rattling off stuff i had no idea wat i was saying n no idea if i was being grammatically correct in the manner of tenses/gender agreement/etc.. -groan-

finally i think all my steam is let off. -heaves a huge sigh- someone tell me it wasn't as bad as i thought? haha. and they taped it and the tape's gonna go to cambridge.. um.. yay? my mom asked "they played back for u to listen?" i think if they did i'd die of shame n embarrassment at my crap la..

ooh yay i finally got the tagboard up after dunno how long.. n i've just spent ~3h doing french oral stuff. hmm. wonder how necessary that was. hope i can ace it tmr.. haha.. questions tt i can answer n i possess e necessary vocab for.

i'm wondering if i'll end up sneaking out on my bday to go watch seabiscuit anyway haha.. but i'll probably be freaking out for gp n stuff. ah well.

*sniffs* all i have = lots of tissue packets [no more box] and water jug to accompany me in my room. ow my throat hurts:( and i think my voice has hit a new low. ughs. wat a horror.

but anyways i'm glad i skipped today haha.. crappy pw n bio lect n chem tut.. luckily it wasn't too much stuff if not i'd have dragged myself to sch. *sneezes* i wonder wat they did hmm.

why do i never learn my lesson. grumbles. this is all my fault. it also doesn't help that i counted 29 topics tt i'm unsure of. if this is not big trouble then i dunno wat is. haha.

sch's mad.. its like we're spposed to get a's to get s papers n there're dunno how many topics to study n everyth but no we still have to go to sch and they teach non-promo stuff i'm sure anyone will listen. how dumb.

-back to my fruit-lunch- how miserable. hopefully i'll be fine by tmr. tho i wudn't mind skipping stupid single blk pe with poon. with her idiotic olympic council crap.

added note: i seem to be floundering in a sea of hopelessness. like staring at the topics and wondering how i'll ever finish. or feel sufficiently prepared. which of cos doesn't help cos it gives me less incentive to get well. -clar thinks- why bother getting well when i can't finish it all anyway. silly way to think but i seem to feel worse after all.

this is absolutely queer
using internet explorer i see different comments and on opera i see something else
but anyway hallo jireh:)

sigh i hate promos. why must we have promos. my classmates [and various other frens] freak me out and i don't even know if i can finish everything in time and remember everything properly:( ughs. i will try my best tho.

and then today thanks to serene telling me this hilarious thing abt changmou during chem tut i started laffing really hard and then my tcher was like "[she cudn't remember my name so she went : u! nxt to serene!] i expect u to get an A ah!" then i was like. wat? and stared at her blankly. in which after a pause she sed "i noe u can do it. and serene too. so i expect both of u to get a's." hmm. okay. watever. if i remembered tt correctly. maybe cos i always almost don't listen to her tuts but just copy down ans when i see a need to. oh well.

and my french is slipping!! ugh. i need vocab.

well i'm in quite a foul mood. not much reason for it though. i guess i'm just being.. me. hah. so 1stly i was quite annoyed with the show. which was really not worth it. i really have no idea how pple can say its nice. guess its a diff of opinion. n maybe i wasn't in the best of moods when i went into the cinema in the 1st place. ah watever i shall just write everything i want to.

complaints abt tltr:
dialogue was very stiff. actually i was wondering why gigi leung was speaking like tt in the 1st part n wondering if it was just me when jane said the same thing. but i guess she improved after a bit.

it was really irritating the way they kept repeating what each other said. i mean fine u're trying to show they're connected and meant for each other and wat not but really.. that's really overdoing it. and tt also goes for the way they keep missing each other just by a few metres. and turning left n right. repetitions really got on my nerves after a while cos it got so predictable. also gigi leung just kept crying which was really annoying too.

hmm. yeah. so since the whole story was about how they kept missing each other by a few metres it wasn't particularly nice and the ending wasn't all that bad to me anyway. maybe i was just too numb by then haha. [apologies to pple who love the show i think i'm abusing it quite badly but tts just wat i think]

but there were quite a few funny parts n touching parts too. like the way they were apart going for job interviews n he was playing e song for her n she was reciting the poem. yeah i shan't elaborate too much

anyways okay so i underestimated and thought i could get to moelc in time. well due to unforeseen circumstances i ended up having to take a cab. i didn't think it would cost $8.60 *raging* but i suppose at least i got there in time.

1st part of french didn't improve my mood any cos i got back french prelim result slip n it was calculated wrongly [i didn't noe then] so i was quite angry at myself. and disappointed? in a way.

so anyway i should have watched pirates of the caribbean which at least everyone agrees is nice so it should be nice [hmm i hope] so that was a huge waste of time and money. but my rage kind of subsided after watching a bit of holland v haha.

yumyumyum ice creaming today!:P whee~ -happy clar-
it was so funny the way most of my classmates were like "u're going icecreaming again?" when its like maybe the 2nd time. or 3rd. haha oh well lijia suggested going there for the nxt few wednesdays and to our horror we discovered there're only 2 more wednesdays then its gp promos and then its the rest of the promos. ugh.

well i suppose at least i got my pretty enzyme-mind-map done tho it took me a VERY long time to finish. ugh. talk about inefficient. like.. 2+hrs? sounds quite ridiculous doesn't it i don't know why it takes me so long to write notes. maybe i'm too perfectionistic and neat. ugh. well.

no idea how to answer respiration tutorial.. am copying off from redspot without thinking. sigh. i hate those questions when they ask you to "describe the role of (so-and-so) in (watever process)" hopefully i'll figure it soon enough. and weirdly enough i find photosynthesis easier than respiration.

sigh i'm disappointed seabiscuit isn't coming out tmr after all.. wish they wouldn't change opening dates. and now its on my birthday!:) whee~ quite appropriate but hmm i kind of wonder if i'll be panicking for promos then:S blah.

n hopefully i'll get to watch tltr on fri =stares at jane= haha.. silly gal wif a bad memory:)
nobody online! oh well. i should go back to finishing respiration tut. i always seem to make a point to come back before 6 and fall asleep until 7 or 8 plus and miss watching holland v. haha.

bit freaked about ao orals now. 6th october! how early is that:( ughs. well i suppose i should be happy they aren't on my bday like last year. n i seriously pray that i can pass gp decently. quite a horror to think that if one doesn't pass gp one gets retained:| i never used to worry so much about being promoted in sec sch and end-of-year exams weren't such a big thing.

wat a slackish day. spent the morning doing pw, the afternoon sleeping [and eating haha] and a leetle bit of the evening n night reading bio. talk about unmotivated.

i'll like stare at the bio txtbk n nothing will go in. or stare at math notes and nothing will go in either. quite amazing come to think of it.
and then i'll not be very hungry but just decide to eat something anyway. queer mood.

i wonder if pw affected my mood that much. or i'm that sick of studying. haha. not like i've done a lot either. but really that report thing was quite bad. given that i'm supposed to be in charge of it somemore. ughs. kind of feel like i let my teacher down. which is actually quite dumb. aiyah its always like tt. lao3 shi1 too.

anyhow hopefully tmr will be a better day n i can get more stuff done. oh dear now i want to watch pirates of the caribbean and turn left turn right and seabiscuit. that's a bit crazy. given that i just watched legally blonde 2 on tues [and it was so hilarious n fun:]

Après l'examen aujourd'hui, j’ai été très inspire d’écrire ça. Mais quand j’ai vu ce qu’il a écrit, j’ai réalisé que nous pensions des mêmes choses. Pourtant, je n’écris plus en français parce que ce ne sont pas des choses que je veux cacher.

yup. that was rather painful actually haha guess i don't really have the flair for the language. and i'm worrying about orals tomorrow and how i'm gonna finish stupid pw by tonight and also start doing sth abt my schwork and chem o stuff and oh.. nvm..

anyways.. french today was kind of bad. but not that bad. but not wonderful either. yeah. but it was great having mme faussat invigilating!:) she's just as amusing as ever.. miss her so much. sigh. "ça ne sonne pas hein? Sinon je le jête par la fenêtre" [well i can't remember the exact phrasing but well] and "une seconde!" she's so cute. hais. wonder if she remembers me though. i don't remember saying very much in class actually. pity though. but its quite nice the way crystal still talks to her so often and everything.

and somehow that made me realise how after this year i'll probably never step into moelc anymore.. which is quite sad.. and time passes so fast.. almost a year gone.. and horrible promos coming:( yup so i won't see my teachers anymore. sigh. mlle gwee [whom i actually saw in the nxt classrm!] and m yong and mme faussat n m dremaux who's going back to france nxt yr [actually kind of sad also come to think of it]. okay i noe my vocab's pathetic today but well.

so.. in addition to that i remembered how i was debating if i should go back to jkms that day.. friday.. then decided it'd be too extra and i was too lazy to press the bell n get off the bus n walk there n everything. ah well. in a way i miss jk too.. not her scoldings but all the funny things she'd say too.

haha mrs cheong was so nice too. asking me whether i'd eaten yet when i went to ask her to sign my blue slip. luckily she was there tho. didn't hafta go round looking for her. n the pendulum thingy [watever its called] was sitting on her desk!:)

sigh oral tmr. i always dread orals. but i really really pray i don't get m yong/mme faussat for tmr or for the real ao orals.. it wud be horrendous.. its like.. u're talking to someone who has taught u b4 and noes u [if they still remember me tt is] and its quite embarrassing sometimes haha wonder if tt sounds silly but watever.

hmm. horrible test week is over. at least. i've been slacking the past 2 nights and just hitting the bed when i feel like it without turning out the lights. thank goodness my parents switch off my lights for me haha:p i feel so spoilt. oops. well.

its so queer how i prefer to go back to rg on my own. instead of with everyone else. as in.. i like being with my class a lot, but when we go back in groups to talk to tchers somehow it doesn't work out very well.. we don't talk! yup. something like tt. i don't know. whatever. glad i got to see laoshi at any rate:) when i called her frm rj she sounded so happy to hear me. and the autograph [which she owed me since last yr actually:p] almost made me cry. crazy huh. it was that touching. or maybe just cos i'm a soft sentimental sob. haha even i find that a hilarious description of myself.

this part is gonna be cryptic cos nobody's spposed to understand it since i just wanna type it out. hopefully the grammar's correct so i'm kinda prepping for ao prelims hah:p

il y a des temps quand je me demande ce que je veux. quand je me demande ce que j'exige de tout le monde. ce que tout le monde exige de moi. pourquoi il y a beaucoup qui ne croient pas en moi. peut-être que je ne suis pas comme j'ai imaginé. pourquoi les choses ne peuvent pas être tellement simples comme je veux. j'ai pensé qu'il serait bien mais j'étais deçu. mais maintenant je sais. pourtant je ne sais pas quoi faire. c'est toujours la même chose. le seul moyen que je peux oublier tout est de dormir. et c'est bon! mais on ne peut pas resoudre aucun problème de cette manière.

haha i wonder wat i'm doing here when i've tons of maths n phys to practise and bio to mug. but aft attempting to do the phys online thing tt came with the txtbk and doing the qns in the txtbk my head's going round n round n i decided i needed some music and luckily the comp was already on if not i wouldn't have bothered

taking 15mins to start up just doesn't seem very appealing if you noe wat i mean.. how pathetic is tt.. oh well.. at least it sort of keeps me off the comp and doing wat i'm supposed to do [but again sometimes i end up sleeping so watever..]

am so glad its tchers' day celebrations on fri and holiday on mon!:) yay;) i want to go out! this always happens actually.. like when u want something u can't have it and when you can have it you don't want it. what a contrary nature. well. i need a new home phone. and i refuse to let my parents pick out one for me. and actually there're somemore things i wanna buy but can't remember at the moment cos my brain's too crammed full of formulae and bio stuff. how pathetic.

i have somehow contrived to lose my school badge. and it annoys me. cos i hate losing stuff no matter wat stuff it is. and the worst thing is tt i just saw it on my table last night! ugh. after my major table-clearing effort in the aftnoon this is the result. but at least now i've more space to do my stuff.. i'm so lazy its unbelievable. piles of stuff all over the place and a stack of txtbks have become my footstool:p its actually quite comfortable so i just leave them there haha:D

hmm wonder if i should rush my bio dna tech n evolution tutorials. seriously i haven't the foggiest idea wats going on and wat we're spposed to noe.. there's so much redundant crap in the notes! horrible. alrite my head-executing-circular-motion syndrome has disappeared so i guess its back to work and sleep! aaah. -stretches-

sigh bro left this morning poor clar is sad. miss tt silly pig lots.
besides that, today was a terrible day. lousy. watever. my rage has subsided anyhow.. after reading jane's blog:D jane be honoured!:) haha. and listening to music. at least something helps.
anyways.. it was just a handful of little things which didn't really matter very much but put together just got me so annoyed. stuff like intelligently remembering to bring a long ruler for phys prac test and forgetting my calculator which usually resides in my bag but somehow made its way on to my table even though i have another calculator on my table just so i won't forget to bring it. if that was coherent. watever. it isn't really supposed to make sense, i'm just ranting and raving then i'll feel better.

so. after that. placed ser's med fac badge on my file, intending to finally remember to bring it. but no, somehow i disregarded it and forgot yet again. let me see what else was there. i guess phys lect was quite amusing [with a SOMEONE getting "jealous" of me cos someone else think i'm cute. well. what can i say..] and chem was alrite.. gp was hilarious as usual.. am thankful for mrs lim.. she's really cartoon:p melodramatic... fun!:) haha

phys prac. hah. sucked as usual. didn't help that it was a test. i'm fervently praying it has nothing to do with any sort of grades which are going to be recorded on paper or watever cos i noe i failed. poor time management [even that goes for ordinary days not just prac tests] and getting horribly muddled up over the graph scales and the points and wat not. absolute horror. actually it was also the fact that i didn't realise my watch was 5mins slower than the one in the lab so i thought i had extra time left. so.

though i guess i can't complain as much as poor fiona.. sitting right in front of mrs cheong. ugh. pressurising + stressful to have her staring at u all the time. i hate it when pple stare at me when i'm trying to do something. esp in the case of pracs. and tests. just annoys me. and its been that way since pri sch so watever.

remembering all my past pathetic failed physics pracs [esp the one where we had the tcher-observation thingy] didn't really help much. and if that wasn't enough, i suddenly realised i had to come to sch again tomorrow. which didn't make my mood any better. so went to ask candice wat time prac was. 10 to 4pm. haha. got even more pissed off. what the crap la.. we're not even preparing for anything very soon and prac is so long already.. no competition no concert nothing..

maybe i have better things to do la.. maybe i need to catch up on my work and get my french oral presentation together [due before nxt sat so at least my french tcher can vet it] and my terp report [which my prof expects to be 20pgs long and is due by end of august] and pw.. my pw is seriously screwed.. CRAP.
1st prac after syf finals and its 5 hours. i think its quite unreasonable. but please tell me if i'm the one being unreasonable. honestly. okay so fine we had quite a long break.. 2 1/2 weeks is not bad i guess. really enjoyed being able to come back early on wednesdays:)

besides that i kind of dread tomorrow's prac. no j2s!! augh. maybe that would justify needing 5 hours but heh. i'm not in a very good mood at the moment so watever.

i want to go and watch a comedy! or some movie. watever. hope something nice that i want to watch comes out soon:)

ladida so everyone's back!
haha it was quite weird.. my house was a "hive of activity" last night at like 1am. bro just got home, parents were still awake and they were sitting around in the living room making loads of noise. and i was awake too having slept 3+hrs in the afternoon. ah well. i was being ridiculous n playing around w my bro's bday present [this huge white shirt]. lapses into childishness. at least it gave me some sort of temporary relief from being a homework-churning machine. quite pleased with wat i've done lately, though i'm not sure its quality work heh.

but after that spurt of dilligence i feel terribly lazy and apathetic and don't feel like doing anymore work. aah:(

looking forward to tmr!:) finally i'll get my yrbk haha. after eons. i wanna see medicine cheerleading too!:) whee~ i kind of resent having missed the cheerleading for IFG grumbles. couldn't support my frens n all. anyhow there's also getting my luvly fat envelope of a very long letter from chris:) =beams at prospects of reading long letter= haha:D and being around everyone again. but i've said that many times.

of that conversation last night. it was really very interesting. and really, i didn't think i would have such problems either *shrugs* and like i said of jm's comment i thought it was rather disturbing to hear my thoughts coming from someone else. kind of makes the problem/situation/watever more real.

i guess nowadays i just can't be bothered to find the energy to find common topics/stuff to talk abt/watever. which is actually quite bad. my social ability appears to have disappeared somehow. bad bad bad. oh well. hopefully it'll like magically reappear or something.

anyhow here's an excerpt from sth some ex-rj student wrote in the new paper. "JC has a way of sapping your energy for life, by making you focus too much on short-term goals. By making you fail to realise that life continues after JC. But when you're a JC student, school's often the only thing you've got. It fills up your day - everyday for two years - but leaves the spirit empty" and "It's about watching what you say and do in school to gain acceptance in a group. It's about countless things that won't matter at all in the end."

in my negative moods i tend to agree but at the same time something tells me that it isn't entirely true. with all the scholarship talks and stuff there's no way u can escape from the idea that life continues after jc but yeah i tink it does make one's life consist of purely school.
actually now i think about it i tink this student is really exaggerating things. it doesn't "sap your energy for life" but just for those 2 years or less. and sometimes i tink that "gaining acceptance in a group" thingy goes for people you don't really noe that well. like pying sed with close frens u can just let urself go and say/do watever u want.

but again like my mom said just now its something like in sec 1 n 2.. didnt' really noe everyone that well yet so wasn't really that happy/watever.. i really think sec 3 n 4 were the best:) so it was something about jc being too short. bah i tink i'm becoming incoherent. that's probably enough.

yay! i'm deranged today!:) n i'm happy! yay!:):):)
haha
okay
french oral presentation was pretty much of a fiasco but after that i got home n i became happy! cos everyone's coming back on sunday!:) yay. [btw serene that wasn't referring to just u, don't get all puffed up;p] dad n bro too. and the funniest thing is tt dad comes home in morning, bro in evening n ser late at night. haha. to ser if u read this b4 i see u in sch: i demand a treat for keeping all ur hw! grr

ladida. n i've found my recipes for french cheese online! don't have to go library! yay!:) happy happy clar for tonight. wasn't particularly happy during the day though oh well. maybe my little nap did some good:)

sigh. talk about unearthly hours. with a tissue box to accompany me. groan. i really think i didn't drink enough water today if not i wouldn't be feeling so terrible. lessons to learn -shakes head- and with a sunburnt nose haha:p it was really one of the most tiring days.. even worse than full days of choir and that's saying something.. i guess they're tiring in different ways.. and now i'm awfully hot thanks to running around in the sun the whole day

and really i wouldn't choose to be awake and on the comp if not for such a horror called PW. somehow i wonder if we can finish the file by tomorrow.. will everyone remember their stuff? and there's still the interview questions not done.. and the file due on wed.. someone help me. i'd really prefer to just heck care about it and leave all the typing and annotating and summarising to tomorrow/tues but if i don't care, who will?

still tons of tutorials undone and not much time foreseeable to do it and my terp is so screwed.. paper due by end of august, partner and prof not free nxt sat, yesterday i cudn't make it due to college day [unless i wanted a white slip] and 23/8 i have french ao prelim orals. that effectively leaves us with 2 saturdays. wow. wonderful. not like my french is in very good shape either, stupidly forgot to photostat how provencale cheeses are used in cooking therefore have to make a visit to the moelc library again tomorrow. i dread orals.

okays. long time since last post. today's news was shocking. and terribly so. i always saw her as a happy cheerful sunshiney sort of person who wouldn't let things get her down so easily but i guess maybe i didn't noe her well enough to judge. maybe it was just a brave front or sth. i have no idea. whole sch was so solemn today. hushed. sorrow. and it was terrible seeing how people felt so bad about it but no one could do anything about it.

and last night's finals. once i stepped off the stage i just felt relaxed i think. can't really pinpoint the feeling anymore. i thought we might have been able to win on repertoire but i guess maybe that wasn't enough. o well i really don't know. felt kind of disappointed but not totally crushed. was just thinking we've done wat we could already, no point worrying or watever. mom had a lot of interesting comments, some of which i suppose i would agree with but the others, hmm..

still worrying. hope everyth is and will be plain fine.